Re: (article) Love Is Blind, Marriage Is the Eye-opener

December 16, 2011

> I liked this article, and through the author's words could easily

> recognize my own marriage.

>

> One day, I hope to read similar articles written from the perspective of

> partners of AS *women*. For the most part, the Aspie in these type of

> articles is almost always male.

That's because " we don't exist " , CJ. <sarcasm and a big grin>

I'm wasting far too much time right now reading a blog that is useless to me at

present, but hopefully, not forever: http://www.marriedmansexlife.com The

author, Athol Kay (male) is a nurse who has studied how men and women can stay

happily married. He writes from a NT male perspective -- a bit raunchy, a lot

macho, and, on the surface, anti-feminist.

But the subtext … wow! He has found a way to package extremely sensible marriage

advice in a way men will hear, that will get them to put work into building

their relationships. [For an excellent example, read his " The L Spot " blog

post.] He blames men for their wive's disinterest in sex: if she's not

interested any more, it's because he isn't interesting, and needs to shape up.

Once he cleans up his act, she'll be interested again.

I'm not sure how well his advice would work for AS men … he assumes men can read

their wive's emotions somewhat and can limit their aggressive, " alpha " behavior.

[Playing rough is good, but don't hurt her. Give orders, but only ones she'll

want to follow.] Still, the NT wives here may want to skim the blog to see if

there's anything they can take from it.

And now I'm wondering if giving this advice to my ex would have saved our

marriage … though I'd like to think it would have been that easy, I don't think

so. He had too much mental illness baggage.

--Liz

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