Guest guest Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 Hello, My name is and I am a new member. My mother has not been officially diagnosed with BPD however, after reading SWOE (twice), which was recommended by my therapist, I know that she suffers from it. At 42 years old, I've chosen not to have a relationship with my mother and I could not feel more happy and free. It's been quite an adjustment for the entire family. The circumstances that helped me reach this decision are involved. Primarily, I made the decision because her behavior began to effect the relationship she had with my very supportive husband and my two teenage sons. It became apparent to me that I needed to protect our children even though they were her life! In doing so I've learned that I have been parenting my mother my entire life and it was time to take care of me. SWOE and therapy has given me a life free of guilt and obligation. My mother has refused to take any ownership of her behavior and she's never going to change. It was time for ME to change! Again, the circumstances are involved. It's been 1 1/2 years since she has had a relationship with her grandchildren. We live in the same community which has posed some challenges. My two brothers live in another state. It's been difficult, but peaceful. At times, I feel like I'm being a selfish. I heard that my entire life. But I'm doing very well. I surround myself with positive loving supportive people. That is a key element to any journey of healing and self awareness. I'm looking for another book to read. Maybe an affirmation book of some kind to reinforce my movement of freedom. Thank you for having this wonderful outlet. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. My hope is that some day I will be able to support someone else on their journey of healing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 The book that really helped me was The Borderline Mother, unfortunately I don't know if that is what you are looking for. I recently read, The Dance of the Wounded Soul,by Burney. It contained many positive moments of self exploration and personal growth. Keep your new journey alive and strong. Malinda > > Hello, > > My name is and I am a new member. My mother has not been officially diagnosed with BPD however, after reading SWOE (twice), which was recommended by my therapist, I know that she suffers from it. At 42 years old, I've chosen not to have a relationship with my mother and I could not feel more happy and free. It's been quite an adjustment for the entire family. The circumstances that helped me reach this decision are involved. Primarily, I made the decision because her behavior began to effect the relationship she had with my very supportive husband and my two teenage sons. It became apparent to me that I needed to protect our children even though they were her life! In doing so I've learned that I have been parenting my mother my entire life and it was time to take care of me. SWOE and therapy has given me a life free of guilt and obligation. My mother has refused to take any ownership of her behavior and she's never going to change. It was time for ME to change! > Again, the circumstances are involved. It's been 1 1/2 years since she has had a relationship with her grandchildren. We live in the same community which has posed some challenges. My two brothers live in another state. It's been difficult, but peaceful. At times, I feel like I'm being a selfish. I heard that my entire life. But I'm doing very well. I surround myself with positive loving supportive people. That is a key element to any journey of healing and self awareness. > > I'm looking for another book to read. Maybe an affirmation book of some kind to reinforce my movement of freedom. Thank you for having this wonderful outlet. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. My hope is that some day I will be able to support someone else on their journey of healing. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 The book that really helped me was The Borderline Mother, unfortunately I don't know if that is what you are looking for. I recently read, The Dance of the Wounded Soul,by Burney. It contained many positive moments of self exploration and personal growth. Keep your new journey alive and strong. Malinda > > Hello, > > My name is and I am a new member. My mother has not been officially diagnosed with BPD however, after reading SWOE (twice), which was recommended by my therapist, I know that she suffers from it. At 42 years old, I've chosen not to have a relationship with my mother and I could not feel more happy and free. It's been quite an adjustment for the entire family. The circumstances that helped me reach this decision are involved. Primarily, I made the decision because her behavior began to effect the relationship she had with my very supportive husband and my two teenage sons. It became apparent to me that I needed to protect our children even though they were her life! In doing so I've learned that I have been parenting my mother my entire life and it was time to take care of me. SWOE and therapy has given me a life free of guilt and obligation. My mother has refused to take any ownership of her behavior and she's never going to change. It was time for ME to change! > Again, the circumstances are involved. It's been 1 1/2 years since she has had a relationship with her grandchildren. We live in the same community which has posed some challenges. My two brothers live in another state. It's been difficult, but peaceful. At times, I feel like I'm being a selfish. I heard that my entire life. But I'm doing very well. I surround myself with positive loving supportive people. That is a key element to any journey of healing and self awareness. > > I'm looking for another book to read. Maybe an affirmation book of some kind to reinforce my movement of freedom. Thank you for having this wonderful outlet. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. My hope is that some day I will be able to support someone else on their journey of healing. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 The book that really helped me was The Borderline Mother, unfortunately I don't know if that is what you are looking for. I recently read, The Dance of the Wounded Soul,by Burney. It contained many positive moments of self exploration and personal growth. Keep your new journey alive and strong. Malinda > > Hello, > > My name is and I am a new member. My mother has not been officially diagnosed with BPD however, after reading SWOE (twice), which was recommended by my therapist, I know that she suffers from it. At 42 years old, I've chosen not to have a relationship with my mother and I could not feel more happy and free. It's been quite an adjustment for the entire family. The circumstances that helped me reach this decision are involved. Primarily, I made the decision because her behavior began to effect the relationship she had with my very supportive husband and my two teenage sons. It became apparent to me that I needed to protect our children even though they were her life! In doing so I've learned that I have been parenting my mother my entire life and it was time to take care of me. SWOE and therapy has given me a life free of guilt and obligation. My mother has refused to take any ownership of her behavior and she's never going to change. It was time for ME to change! > Again, the circumstances are involved. It's been 1 1/2 years since she has had a relationship with her grandchildren. We live in the same community which has posed some challenges. My two brothers live in another state. It's been difficult, but peaceful. At times, I feel like I'm being a selfish. I heard that my entire life. But I'm doing very well. I surround myself with positive loving supportive people. That is a key element to any journey of healing and self awareness. > > I'm looking for another book to read. Maybe an affirmation book of some kind to reinforce my movement of freedom. Thank you for having this wonderful outlet. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. My hope is that some day I will be able to support someone else on their journey of healing. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 The book that really helped me was The Borderline Mother, unfortunately I don't know if that is what you are looking for. I recently read, The Dance of the Wounded Soul,by Burney. It contained many positive moments of self exploration and personal growth. Keep your new journey alive and strong. Malinda > > Hello, > > My name is and I am a new member. My mother has not been officially diagnosed with BPD however, after reading SWOE (twice), which was recommended by my therapist, I know that she suffers from it. At 42 years old, I've chosen not to have a relationship with my mother and I could not feel more happy and free. It's been quite an adjustment for the entire family. The circumstances that helped me reach this decision are involved. Primarily, I made the decision because her behavior began to effect the relationship she had with my very supportive husband and my two teenage sons. It became apparent to me that I needed to protect our children even though they were her life! In doing so I've learned that I have been parenting my mother my entire life and it was time to take care of me. SWOE and therapy has given me a life free of guilt and obligation. My mother has refused to take any ownership of her behavior and she's never going to change. It was time for ME to change! > Again, the circumstances are involved. It's been 1 1/2 years since she has had a relationship with her grandchildren. We live in the same community which has posed some challenges. My two brothers live in another state. It's been difficult, but peaceful. At times, I feel like I'm being a selfish. I heard that my entire life. But I'm doing very well. I surround myself with positive loving supportive people. That is a key element to any journey of healing and self awareness. > > I'm looking for another book to read. Maybe an affirmation book of some kind to reinforce my movement of freedom. Thank you for having this wonderful outlet. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. My hope is that some day I will be able to support someone else on their journey of healing. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 The book that really helped me was The Borderline Mother, unfortunately I don't know if that is what you are looking for. I recently read, The Dance of the Wounded Soul,by Burney. It contained many positive moments of self exploration and personal growth. Keep your new journey alive and strong. Malinda > > Hello, > > My name is and I am a new member. My mother has not been officially diagnosed with BPD however, after reading SWOE (twice), which was recommended by my therapist, I know that she suffers from it. At 42 years old, I've chosen not to have a relationship with my mother and I could not feel more happy and free. It's been quite an adjustment for the entire family. The circumstances that helped me reach this decision are involved. Primarily, I made the decision because her behavior began to effect the relationship she had with my very supportive husband and my two teenage sons. It became apparent to me that I needed to protect our children even though they were her life! In doing so I've learned that I have been parenting my mother my entire life and it was time to take care of me. SWOE and therapy has given me a life free of guilt and obligation. My mother has refused to take any ownership of her behavior and she's never going to change. It was time for ME to change! > Again, the circumstances are involved. It's been 1 1/2 years since she has had a relationship with her grandchildren. We live in the same community which has posed some challenges. My two brothers live in another state. It's been difficult, but peaceful. At times, I feel like I'm being a selfish. I heard that my entire life. But I'm doing very well. I surround myself with positive loving supportive people. That is a key element to any journey of healing and self awareness. > > I'm looking for another book to read. Maybe an affirmation book of some kind to reinforce my movement of freedom. Thank you for having this wonderful outlet. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. My hope is that some day I will be able to support someone else on their journey of healing. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 28, 2007 Report Share Posted March 28, 2007 The book that really helped me was The Borderline Mother, unfortunately I don't know if that is what you are looking for. I recently read, The Dance of the Wounded Soul,by Burney. It contained many positive moments of self exploration and personal growth. Keep your new journey alive and strong. Malinda > > Hello, > > My name is and I am a new member. My mother has not been officially diagnosed with BPD however, after reading SWOE (twice), which was recommended by my therapist, I know that she suffers from it. At 42 years old, I've chosen not to have a relationship with my mother and I could not feel more happy and free. It's been quite an adjustment for the entire family. The circumstances that helped me reach this decision are involved. Primarily, I made the decision because her behavior began to effect the relationship she had with my very supportive husband and my two teenage sons. It became apparent to me that I needed to protect our children even though they were her life! In doing so I've learned that I have been parenting my mother my entire life and it was time to take care of me. SWOE and therapy has given me a life free of guilt and obligation. My mother has refused to take any ownership of her behavior and she's never going to change. It was time for ME to change! > Again, the circumstances are involved. It's been 1 1/2 years since she has had a relationship with her grandchildren. We live in the same community which has posed some challenges. My two brothers live in another state. It's been difficult, but peaceful. At times, I feel like I'm being a selfish. I heard that my entire life. But I'm doing very well. I surround myself with positive loving supportive people. That is a key element to any journey of healing and self awareness. > > I'm looking for another book to read. Maybe an affirmation book of some kind to reinforce my movement of freedom. Thank you for having this wonderful outlet. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. My hope is that some day I will be able to support someone else on their journey of healing. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 29, 2007 Report Share Posted March 29, 2007 I've found a lot of good " detachment " language in Melody Beatty's books -- The language of letting go; Co-dependent no more. Good luck on your journey -- you're on your way. Welcome! -Kyla > > Hello, > > My name is and I am a new member. My mother has not been officially diagnosed with BPD however, after reading SWOE (twice), which was recommended by my therapist, I know that she suffers from it. At 42 years old, I've chosen not to have a relationship with my mother and I could not feel more happy and free. It's been quite an adjustment for the entire family. The circumstances that helped me reach this decision are involved. Primarily, I made the decision because her behavior began to effect the relationship she had with my very supportive husband and my two teenage sons. It became apparent to me that I needed to protect our children even though they were her life! In doing so I've learned that I have been parenting my mother my entire life and it was time to take care of me. SWOE and therapy has given me a life free of guilt and obligation. My mother has refused to take any ownership of her behavior and she's never going to change. It was time for ME to change! > Again, the circumstances are involved. It's been 1 1/2 years since she has had a relationship with her grandchildren. We live in the same community which has posed some challenges. My two brothers live in another state. It's been difficult, but peaceful. At times, I feel like I'm being a selfish. I heard that my entire life. But I'm doing very well. I surround myself with positive loving supportive people. That is a key element to any journey of healing and self awareness. > > I'm looking for another book to read. Maybe an affirmation book of some kind to reinforce my movement of freedom. Thank you for having this wonderful outlet. It feels so comforting to know that I am not alone. My hope is that some day I will be able to support someone else on their journey of healing. > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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