Wow, I forgot how awful this feels

[Guest guest]

Ugh, I am having " spell " today,. I've felt it coming but didn't

expect this. I forgot how rotten these things are. I've been med-

free for 2 1/2 years now. I feel like I am back in my 6th month off.

This kinda sucks. At least I know it's gonna pass. My hands won't

cooperate with my head, so I having to keep backspacing and re-

typing everything. Geez.

Oh yeah, and , you're just gonna love this. I have been

researching my old meds. What they put me on after my car wreck when

I was 19, and I found out what it was. I could never remember the

name. They put me on it cuz I couldn't sleep after the flexeril gave

me apnea. I remembered exactly how it looked, what size it was, and

what was stamped on the pill. I stumbled acrss a pill identifier on

the internet. You put in what shape the pill was and what color. So

I select " round " and " purple " and I start scrolling through them.

Realizing about 6 pills in, that they are all either anti-

depressants or benzos. At this point I am already getting nervous.

Two pages in, I find it. Wham, right there in front of me.

AMITRIPTYLINE 75 MG. Given to me with no explanations, other than it

would help me sleep.

Guess what age my panic attacks started? Guess what age my allergies

kicked in? Guess how old I was when I started having problems with

my immune system? Yeah, I made that one kinda easy didn't I? I am

mildy aggravated by this right now. And especially considering how

sick I am today, making it all the worse.

Thought you'd appreciate that lil piece of info on the amitriptyline

. I have been trying to figure out what it was that they

gave me now for about as long as I've been med-free. Now I know, and

I am mad. Talk to you all later!

Love, Niki Rae