Re: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

[Guest guest]

We didn't elope, but my family didn't meet my husband until the day before the

wedding, and we still only had the 2 of us and our 2 best friends. And it was

because I knew my mom wouldn't know how to act...and I was right based on the

spectical she preformed the night before telling me it wasn't too late to throw

something-anything-together.

L Kay wrote:

I remember " planning my wedding " with my sister and mom. They had all

the details worked out just for me. My husband and I wanted a very small service

(10 or 20 people) and wanted, of course, to include our friends. Mom and Sis

started planning the invitation list with people I'd never even met and it was

quickly growing...none of our friends included. When I said it wasn't what I

wanted, they giggled and told me that they'd handle the wedding - all I had to

do was show up. I said, " Forget it. " and walked out. At the service, we had my

parents, his parents, and his 5 year old son in a sitting room of the local

church. Sis did the reception at his parent's house and we invited friends and

family to it. Ironically, nobody was bothered about the service except Mom who

complained that she couldn't see why I'd invite my husband's son to the wedding

and not my neices (same age), and that I should be forever grateful that sis did

the reception when I was too rude to

invite

her to the wedding. (Sis and Mom planned for her to do the reception, and called

my MIL and told her they would do it but it was going to be at her house.). Long

story just to say their BPD presence at your wedding is not necessarily a gift.

If I had it to do over, I'd have eloped. -

sleddog wrote: > I wonder a lot if I will ever be able to

reconcile with her. It's hard

for me to imagine not inviting her to my wedding (that is...if I ever have

one...) or my children >having a grandmother, even if it is very restricted

visitation. But it's still hard to just think that she would be completely

left out, even with her past behavior.

if I had it to do over, she would not have been invited to my weddin...it

wasn't my wedding, it was hers..she picked the reception hall, she picked

the menue, she had me wear her dress ( with the understanding if we cut

corners, any amount left over she's give to us..LOL I was stupid back then,

I belived her we didn't get anything) she picked the flowers..the only thing

she didn't pick was the groom and she tried real hard to break us up

Jackie

---------------------------------

Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast

with theYahoo! Search weather shortcut.

[Guest guest]

A huge hug to you. I think that most if not all of us on this list have had

those same fears at sometime or another. My biggest one was would I be a decent

mother. Well my daughter is now 10 and we are as close as two ppl. can be.

People sometimes says it is hard to be around us because we are symbiotic at

times. We just get each other. We have our different likes and dislikes, but

we each appreciate that in each other.

One thing that I have learned in life is that family is not allways the ppl.

you share blood with. I have a very close knit family, just none of us share

blood. What we do share is heart and a deep caring for each other. My nonblood

sister got a new boyfriend about three years ago and he was having a down week

so I got him a little present. He was shocked and said why would you do this

for me. I replied because you are know family. He all most cried!

Lilly

junkinthere wrote:

What am I still afraid of?

Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

I'm still afraid of a lot.

I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

any of my family members.

I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

families.

I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

I'm afraid that I've become her.

I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

Melany

---------------------------------

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Try the free Yahoo! Mail Beta.

[Guest guest]

A huge hug to you. I think that most if not all of us on this list have had

those same fears at sometime or another. My biggest one was would I be a decent

mother. Well my daughter is now 10 and we are as close as two ppl. can be.

People sometimes says it is hard to be around us because we are symbiotic at

times. We just get each other. We have our different likes and dislikes, but

we each appreciate that in each other.

One thing that I have learned in life is that family is not allways the ppl.

you share blood with. I have a very close knit family, just none of us share

blood. What we do share is heart and a deep caring for each other. My nonblood

sister got a new boyfriend about three years ago and he was having a down week

so I got him a little present. He was shocked and said why would you do this

for me. I replied because you are know family. He all most cried!

Lilly

junkinthere wrote:

What am I still afraid of?

Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

I'm still afraid of a lot.

I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

any of my family members.

I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

families.

I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

I'm afraid that I've become her.

I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

Melany

---------------------------------

Sucker-punch spam with award-winning protection.

Try the free Yahoo! Mail Beta.

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

[Guest guest]

I ask myself that same question, " What am I afraid of? " I am a 36 year old

woman who is very independent. I have had no contact for several months but

look over my shoulder all the time. Will she show up on my door step? Will

she attempt to get my children? I know I have the ability to say " no " and I

have, but I feel like that beaten dog...scared. When will the next grenade

go off? You are not alone in your feelings.

PW

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: RE: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14:56:08 -0400

>

>I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

>

>J.

>

>

> >

> >Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

> >To: WTOAdultChildren1

> >Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

> >Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

> >

> >What am I still afraid of?

> >

> >Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

> >I'm still afraid of a lot.

> >

> >I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

> >ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

> >I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

> >and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

> >I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

> >I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

> >I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

> >a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

> >any of my family members.

> >I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

> >families.

> >I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

> >empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

> >I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

> >I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

> >I'm afraid that I've become her.

> >I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

> >

> >There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

> >Melany

> >

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

I ask myself that same question, " What am I afraid of? " I am a 36 year old

woman who is very independent. I have had no contact for several months but

look over my shoulder all the time. Will she show up on my door step? Will

she attempt to get my children? I know I have the ability to say " no " and I

have, but I feel like that beaten dog...scared. When will the next grenade

go off? You are not alone in your feelings.

PW

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: RE: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Wed, 28 Mar 2007 14:56:08 -0400

>

>I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

>

>J.

>

>

> >

> >Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

> >To: WTOAdultChildren1

> >Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

> >Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

> >

> >What am I still afraid of?

> >

> >Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

> >I'm still afraid of a lot.

> >

> >I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

> >ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

> >I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

> >and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

> >I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

> >I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

> >I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

> >a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

> >any of my family members.

> >I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

> >families.

> >I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

> >empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

> >I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

> >I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

> >I'm afraid that I've become her.

> >I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

> >

> >There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

> >Melany

> >

>

>

_________________________________________________________________

Watch free concerts with Pink, Rod , Oasis and more. Visit MSN

Presents today.

http://music.msn.com/presents?icid=ncmsnpresentstagline & ocid=T002MSN03A07001

[Guest guest]

Ahhhhh J. all I can do is give you a big huge hug. You will figure it out I

promise. From what you have said so far, I can tell one one thing you are you

are very brave and truthfull and courageous. To be able to admitt your fears

means that you can conquer them. So, what do we know about who you really are

so far: You are brave, thruthfull and courageous. You also are apparently goal

oriented because you talk of graduating in two years!

Lilly

Rutkowski wrote:

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Ahhhhh J. all I can do is give you a big huge hug. You will figure it out I

promise. From what you have said so far, I can tell one one thing you are you

are very brave and truthfull and courageous. To be able to admitt your fears

means that you can conquer them. So, what do we know about who you really are

so far: You are brave, thruthfull and courageous. You also are apparently goal

oriented because you talk of graduating in two years!

Lilly

Rutkowski wrote:

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

---------------------------------

Never miss an email again!

Yahoo! Toolbar alerts you the instant new Mail arrives. Check it out.

[Guest guest]

Ahhhhh J. all I can do is give you a big huge hug. You will figure it out I

promise. From what you have said so far, I can tell one one thing you are you

are very brave and truthfull and courageous. To be able to admitt your fears

means that you can conquer them. So, what do we know about who you really are

so far: You are brave, thruthfull and courageous. You also are apparently goal

oriented because you talk of graduating in two years!

Lilly

Rutkowski wrote:

I'm afraid that I will die and not know who I really am.

J.

>

>Reply-To: WTOAdultChildren1

>To: WTOAdultChildren1

>Subject: Re: As a KO what are you still afraid of?

>Date: Tue, 27 Mar 2007 23:58:12 -0000

>

>What am I still afraid of?

>

>Well, seeing as it's only been two weeks since I've figured this out,

>I'm still afraid of a lot.

>

>I'm afraid of what my nada is capable of, she might do her best to

>ruin my life now that she senses an little self respect in me.

>I'm afraid that she'll suck me back into her web of fear, obligation

>and guilt, and I'll never get back out again.

>I'm afraid she'll find me on this message board.

>I'm afraid of her rage, it still makes me want to cower.

>I'm afraid of what's going to happen in two years from now when I have

>a graduation. Graduations are always horrible. I do not want to invite

>any of my family members.

>I'm afraid graduation will be sad when I see other people with their

>families.

>I'm afraid that when/if I get married, my side of the church will be

>empty. I'm afraid I'll be walking myself down the isle.

>I'm afraid that I will go crazy.

>I'm afraid I will never be able to rebuild myself.

>I'm afraid that I've become her.

>I'm afraid I'll abuse my children when/if I have them.

>

>There's more, but I figure I should stop here.

>Melany

>

---------------------------------

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[Guest guest]

Smart girl. -

wrote: We didn't elope, but my

family didn't meet my husband until the day before the wedding, and we still

only had the 2 of us and our 2 best friends. And it was because I knew my mom

wouldn't know how to act...and I was right based on the spectical she preformed

the night before telling me it wasn't too late to throw

something-anything-together.

L Kay wrote:

I remember " planning my wedding " with my sister and mom. They had all the

details worked out just for me. My husband and I wanted a very small service (10

or 20 people) and wanted, of course, to include our friends. Mom and Sis started

planning the invitation list with people I'd never even met and it was quickly

growing...none of our friends included. When I said it wasn't what I wanted,

they giggled and told me that they'd handle the wedding - all I had to do was

show up. I said, " Forget it. " and walked out. At the service, we had my parents,

his parents, and his 5 year old son in a sitting room of the local church. Sis

did the reception at his parent's house and we invited friends and family to it.

Ironically, nobody was bothered about the service except Mom who complained that

she couldn't see why I'd invite my husband's son to the wedding and not my

neices (same age), and that I should be forever grateful that sis did the

reception when I was too rude to

invite

her to the wedding. (Sis and Mom planned for her to do the reception, and called

my MIL and told her they would do it but it was going to be at her house.). Long

story just to say their BPD presence at your wedding is not necessarily a gift.

If I had it to do over, I'd have eloped. -

sleddog wrote: > I wonder a lot if I will ever be able to

reconcile with her. It's hard

for me to imagine not inviting her to my wedding (that is...if I ever have

one...) or my children >having a grandmother, even if it is very restricted

visitation. But it's still hard to just think that she would be completely

left out, even with her past behavior.

if I had it to do over, she would not have been invited to my weddin...it

wasn't my wedding, it was hers..she picked the reception hall, she picked

the menue, she had me wear her dress ( with the understanding if we cut

corners, any amount left over she's give to us..LOL I was stupid back then,

I belived her we didn't get anything) she picked the flowers..the only thing

she didn't pick was the groom and she tried real hard to break us up

Jackie

---------------------------------

Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast

with theYahoo! Search weather shortcut.

[Guest guest]

Smart girl. -

wrote: We didn't elope, but my

family didn't meet my husband until the day before the wedding, and we still

only had the 2 of us and our 2 best friends. And it was because I knew my mom

wouldn't know how to act...and I was right based on the spectical she preformed

the night before telling me it wasn't too late to throw

something-anything-together.

L Kay wrote:

I remember " planning my wedding " with my sister and mom. They had all the

details worked out just for me. My husband and I wanted a very small service (10

or 20 people) and wanted, of course, to include our friends. Mom and Sis started

planning the invitation list with people I'd never even met and it was quickly

growing...none of our friends included. When I said it wasn't what I wanted,

they giggled and told me that they'd handle the wedding - all I had to do was

show up. I said, " Forget it. " and walked out. At the service, we had my parents,

his parents, and his 5 year old son in a sitting room of the local church. Sis

did the reception at his parent's house and we invited friends and family to it.

Ironically, nobody was bothered about the service except Mom who complained that

she couldn't see why I'd invite my husband's son to the wedding and not my

neices (same age), and that I should be forever grateful that sis did the

reception when I was too rude to

invite

her to the wedding. (Sis and Mom planned for her to do the reception, and called

my MIL and told her they would do it but it was going to be at her house.). Long

story just to say their BPD presence at your wedding is not necessarily a gift.

If I had it to do over, I'd have eloped. -

sleddog wrote: > I wonder a lot if I will ever be able to

reconcile with her. It's hard

for me to imagine not inviting her to my wedding (that is...if I ever have

one...) or my children >having a grandmother, even if it is very restricted

visitation. But it's still hard to just think that she would be completely

left out, even with her past behavior.

if I had it to do over, she would not have been invited to my weddin...it

wasn't my wedding, it was hers..she picked the reception hall, she picked

the menue, she had me wear her dress ( with the understanding if we cut

corners, any amount left over she's give to us..LOL I was stupid back then,

I belived her we didn't get anything) she picked the flowers..the only thing

she didn't pick was the groom and she tried real hard to break us up

Jackie

---------------------------------

Don't get soaked. Take a quick peek at the forecast

with theYahoo! Search weather shortcut.