Re: More Than A Puppet...A matted down old Door Mat

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jackie,

Your kind words, insight adn encouragement are most helpful during this

time.

K.

pandoodle2001 wrote:

> I totally understand, I was there too...you're still trying to hold

> on to some relationship with your mother...and always try to hope

> there will be a normal mother/daughter thing with you two. It's a

> hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will never

> have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people, and yes, you

> do have to mourn it....but this is a good thing..because it means

> you are moving forward...you realize you will never have a normal

> relationship with your mother, and your healing has begun

>

> Jackie

>

>

> >

> > Thanks Jackie,

> >

> > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after years of

> abuse

> > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my children. I am

> just

> > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did the

> right

> > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is where the

> work of

> > true healing really begins.

> >

> > K

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jackie,

Your kind words, insight adn encouragement are most helpful during this

time.

K.

pandoodle2001 wrote:

> I totally understand, I was there too...you're still trying to hold

> on to some relationship with your mother...and always try to hope

> there will be a normal mother/daughter thing with you two. It's a

> hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will never

> have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people, and yes, you

> do have to mourn it....but this is a good thing..because it means

> you are moving forward...you realize you will never have a normal

> relationship with your mother, and your healing has begun

>

> Jackie

>

>

> >

> > Thanks Jackie,

> >

> > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after years of

> abuse

> > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my children. I am

> just

> > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did the

> right

> > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is where the

> work of

> > true healing really begins.

> >

> > K

>

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes to this posting. We will never have a normalmother/daughter

relationship. I make these boundaries with my nada and I am so much

happier. Once I start helping her again, whatever it is, she goes

back to her demanding and controling self. It is like she doesn't

miss a beat, and all is right again in her kingdom, she the queen bp

mother.

I am the only one in this relationship tha twants different, and I

can't forget that. I want so badly to do n/c, and I am building my

strength to do that.

For those of you that are in a state of n/c, I bless you for your

courage and strength. Stay out of the darkness of your BP parent and

stay in the light. You deserve that.

For those of staying in contact with your BP parent stay in the light

too, and know this is the best decision for you.

No judgements here, whatever works for you.

love and blessings,

Malinda

> >

> > Thanks Jackie,

> >

> > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after years of

> abuse

> > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my children. I am

> just

> > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did the

> right

> > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is where the

> work of

> > true healing really begins.

> >

> > K

>

[Guest guest]

Oh yes to this posting. We will never have a normalmother/daughter

relationship. I make these boundaries with my nada and I am so much

happier. Once I start helping her again, whatever it is, she goes

back to her demanding and controling self. It is like she doesn't

miss a beat, and all is right again in her kingdom, she the queen bp

mother.

I am the only one in this relationship tha twants different, and I

can't forget that. I want so badly to do n/c, and I am building my

strength to do that.

For those of you that are in a state of n/c, I bless you for your

courage and strength. Stay out of the darkness of your BP parent and

stay in the light. You deserve that.

For those of staying in contact with your BP parent stay in the light

too, and know this is the best decision for you.

No judgements here, whatever works for you.

love and blessings,

Malinda

> >

> > Thanks Jackie,

> >

> > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after years of

> abuse

> > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my children. I am

> just

> > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did the

> right

> > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is where the

> work of

> > true healing really begins.

> >

> > K

>

[Guest guest]

It's a

> > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

never

> > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my mom

gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies without

bursting into tears.

> > >

> > > Thanks Jackie,

> > >

> > > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after years

of

> > abuse

> > > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my children. I

am

> > just

> > > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did the

> > right

> > > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is where the

> > work of

> > > true healing really begins.

> > >

> > > K

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It's a

> > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

never

> > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my mom

gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies without

bursting into tears.

> > >

> > > Thanks Jackie,

> > >

> > > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after years

of

> > abuse

> > > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my children. I

am

> > just

> > > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did the

> > right

> > > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is where the

> > work of

> > > true healing really begins.

> > >

> > > K

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

,

I guess I will just have to buy stock in 'kleenex' to get through this

(smile). On a lighter note, I am so happy to be out of the craziness.

Here is a story. My mother has (what she has gotten her doctors to

characterize as) 'night terrors'. Whenever my children and I would go to

visit or she would come to our home, we would awaken in the middle of

the night to 'blood-curdling' screams. It always scared the socks off of

us!!!! My Dad would usually jump up, awaken her, and give her lots of

attention and support (which I think was the motive). He would tell us

not to worry, 'It is just one of your Mom's night terrors'. What????? In

the morning, they would act like it had never happened!!! No mention of

it and she would act like everything was normal.

K

mitchell_kristin wrote:

> It's a

> > > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

> never

> > > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

>

> This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my mom

> gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies without

> bursting into tears.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Thanks Jackie,

> > > >

> > > > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after years

> of

> > > abuse

> > > > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my children. I

> am

> > > just

> > > > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did the

> > > right

> > > > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is where the

> > > work of

> > > > true healing really begins.

> > > >

> > > > K

> > >

> > >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

,

I guess I will just have to buy stock in 'kleenex' to get through this

(smile). On a lighter note, I am so happy to be out of the craziness.

Here is a story. My mother has (what she has gotten her doctors to

characterize as) 'night terrors'. Whenever my children and I would go to

visit or she would come to our home, we would awaken in the middle of

the night to 'blood-curdling' screams. It always scared the socks off of

us!!!! My Dad would usually jump up, awaken her, and give her lots of

attention and support (which I think was the motive). He would tell us

not to worry, 'It is just one of your Mom's night terrors'. What????? In

the morning, they would act like it had never happened!!! No mention of

it and she would act like everything was normal.

K

mitchell_kristin wrote:

> It's a

> > > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

> never

> > > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

>

> This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my mom

> gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies without

> bursting into tears.

>

>

> > > >

> > > > Thanks Jackie,

> > > >

> > > > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after years

> of

> > > abuse

> > > > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my children. I

> am

> > > just

> > > > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did the

> > > right

> > > > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is where the

> > > work of

> > > > true healing really begins.

> > > >

> > > > K

> > >

> > >

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

It's amazing that no matter what the crazy behavior happens to be, we

are supposed to be normal and not react, not acknowledge, always

pretend everything is ok...

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks Jackie,

> > > > >

> > > > > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after

years

> > of

> > > > abuse

> > > > > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my

children. I

> > am

> > > > just

> > > > > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did

the

> > > > right

> > > > > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is

where the

> > > > work of

> > > > > true healing really begins.

> > > > >

> > > > > K

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

It's amazing that no matter what the crazy behavior happens to be, we

are supposed to be normal and not react, not acknowledge, always

pretend everything is ok...

> > > > >

> > > > > Thanks Jackie,

> > > > >

> > > > > I hear you. I, too, have recently gone limited n/c after

years

> > of

> > > > abuse

> > > > > and watching her try her best to destroy me and my

children. I

> > am

> > > > just

> > > > > feeling completely sad and empty. Even though I know I did

the

> > > > right

> > > > > thing, I have a huge void in my heart. I guess this is

where the

> > > > work of

> > > > > true healing really begins.

> > > > >

> > > > > K

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

it IS very difficult !! Up until last year, I was there, where you

are...I

would get jealous of my friends and their relationships with their

mothers...and I'd get angry because I don't have that...life isn't

fair !

Once I realized this, with the therapists help, I was able to move

forward, and it's helped a lot that mother is punishing me, so it

made the

break easier..but there's no going back. I do plan on writing a

letter to

my dad, and telling him I just can't take the abuse any longer, and

hand it

to him when I see them this summer ( it will be his 85th birthday)

I will

not let mother bully me any more..I will not feel guilty about it

either...a

great book about boundaries the therapist recommended was Boundaries

by Dr

Henry Cloud. this book helped me see how wrong mother is and how

messed up

our family is.

Jackie

> It's a

> > > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

> never

> > > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

>

> This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my

mom

> gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies

without

> bursting into tears.

[Guest guest]

it IS very difficult !! Up until last year, I was there, where you

are...I

would get jealous of my friends and their relationships with their

mothers...and I'd get angry because I don't have that...life isn't

fair !

Once I realized this, with the therapists help, I was able to move

forward, and it's helped a lot that mother is punishing me, so it

made the

break easier..but there's no going back. I do plan on writing a

letter to

my dad, and telling him I just can't take the abuse any longer, and

hand it

to him when I see them this summer ( it will be his 85th birthday)

I will

not let mother bully me any more..I will not feel guilty about it

either...a

great book about boundaries the therapist recommended was Boundaries

by Dr

Henry Cloud. this book helped me see how wrong mother is and how

messed up

our family is.

Jackie

> It's a

> > > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

> never

> > > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

>

> This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my

mom

> gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies

without

> bursting into tears.

[Guest guest]

I agree. I tried my whole life, and wish I could have a

relationship with my mother...she does have good points..but she's

made it clear that the only relationship she wants will be on her

terms only...she doesn't care that she hasn't spoken to me in almost

a year, I guess it doesn't bother her...she's somehow justified it

to herself...

Jackie

> For those of you that are in a state of n/c, I bless you for your

> courage and strength. Stay out of the darkness of your BP parent

and

> stay in the light. You deserve that.

>

> For those of staying in contact with your BP parent stay in the

light

> too, and know this is the best decision for you.

>

> No judgements here, whatever works for you.

>

> love and blessings,

> Malinda

[Guest guest]

I agree. I tried my whole life, and wish I could have a

relationship with my mother...she does have good points..but she's

made it clear that the only relationship she wants will be on her

terms only...she doesn't care that she hasn't spoken to me in almost

a year, I guess it doesn't bother her...she's somehow justified it

to herself...

Jackie

> For those of you that are in a state of n/c, I bless you for your

> courage and strength. Stay out of the darkness of your BP parent

and

> stay in the light. You deserve that.

>

> For those of staying in contact with your BP parent stay in the

light

> too, and know this is the best decision for you.

>

> No judgements here, whatever works for you.

>

> love and blessings,

> Malinda

[Guest guest]

Jackie -- I could have written your last several posts. My dad also

tries to keep dragging me to nada (we're currently in an extended

silent treatment phase from her)

When I refused, he got pissy and had a tantrum -- even though,

behind my back, he agreed with the points I raised when he was

discussing it with my brother. He wouldn't dare admit it to me.

He would just rather I make peace, shut up, cram my feelings down

and go to her. I'd rather not.

I, too, always kept the hope that we had a close relationship -- my

nada has her good points, too. But, when she goes into one of her

emotional storms, watch out. I got tired of it.

I still wrestle with the guilt of not contacting her -- but I have

to remind myself " Hey, she's not contacting you, either. " My dad is

still punishing me for abandoning the " Family Script " , too.

I feel as though I'm hanging out on a limb -- and every once in

awhile I have to beat back those old waves of guilt for not rushing

in to fix things. It feels very wierd.

-Kyla

>

> I agree. I tried my whole life, and wish I could have a

> relationship with my mother...she does have good points..but she's

> made it clear that the only relationship she wants will be on her

> terms only...she doesn't care that she hasn't spoken to me in

almost

> a year, I guess it doesn't bother her...she's somehow justified it

> to herself...

>

> Jackie

>

> > For those of you that are in a state of n/c, I bless you for

your

> > courage and strength. Stay out of the darkness of your BP parent

> and

> > stay in the light. You deserve that.

> >

> > For those of staying in contact with your BP parent stay in the

> light

> > too, and know this is the best decision for you.

> >

> > No judgements here, whatever works for you.

> >

> > love and blessings,

> > Malinda

>

[Guest guest]

Kyla,

this is whats so wonderful about these lists...you are not alone !!

I am going through exactly what you are now...mother isn't speaking

to me because I got mad that she gives money and other things to my

siblings and nothing to me ( how DARE I get mad a HER !!) Dad is

trying to get me to forgive and forget ! I tell him I forgive

her...she's not a normal person, somethings wrong with her..but I

will not forget it, otherwise I'd be back baling from the same

sinking boat. I tell him she chooses not to treat me equally, and

it's my right and duty to protect myself from her abuse...so until

she decides she's going to act like a normal human being, I will

just have to protect myself and not allow her to take her pot shots

at me. I had LOTS of guilt !! I was always suckered back because

of the guilt, but once I saw the therapist and she taught me no one

has a right to treat me like crap unless I allow it..then I started

sticking up for myself. It's been a hard road being the outcast,

but really, I was before too, I just didn't realize it since she's

been giving my siblings money and other things for years ! I'm not

done healing..I still have a ways to go...but someday I hope to be

fully healed :-)

Jackie

>

> Jackie -- I could have written your last several posts. My dad

also

> tries to keep dragging me to nada (we're currently in an extended

> silent treatment phase from her)

>

> When I refused, he got pissy and had a tantrum -- even though,

> behind my back, he agreed with the points I raised when he was

> discussing it with my brother. He wouldn't dare admit it to me.

>

> He would just rather I make peace, shut up, cram my feelings down

> and go to her. I'd rather not.

>

> I, too, always kept the hope that we had a close relationship --

my

> nada has her good points, too. But, when she goes into one of her

> emotional storms, watch out. I got tired of it.

>

> I still wrestle with the guilt of not contacting her -- but I have

> to remind myself " Hey, she's not contacting you, either. " My dad

is

> still punishing me for abandoning the " Family Script " , too.

>

> I feel as though I'm hanging out on a limb -- and every once in

> awhile I have to beat back those old waves of guilt for not

rushing

> in to fix things. It feels very wierd.

>

> -Kyla

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jackie,

I am not going back either!!! My mother is also in her early 80s;

sometimes I slip-up and start to feel like perhaps I should just hang in

there - you never know 'how long' she will be here. But then I realize,

that is what she has been saying to me for the past 20 years - in order

to get her way. 'You'll miss me when I am gone', 'No one know how hard

it is to live without a mother' and on and on and on . . . . . . . . .

You are courageous; I will try the book Boundaries.

K

pandoodle2001 wrote:

> it IS very difficult !! Up until last year, I was there, where you

> are...I

> would get jealous of my friends and their relationships with their

> mothers...and I'd get angry because I don't have that...life isn't

> fair !

> Once I realized this, with the therapists help, I was able to move

> forward, and it's helped a lot that mother is punishing me, so it

> made the

> break easier..but there's no going back. I do plan on writing a

> letter to

> my dad, and telling him I just can't take the abuse any longer, and

> hand it

> to him when I see them this summer ( it will be his 85th birthday)

> I will

> not let mother bully me any more..I will not feel guilty about it

> either...a

> great book about boundaries the therapist recommended was Boundaries

> by Dr

> Henry Cloud. this book helped me see how wrong mother is and how

> messed up

> our family is.

>

> Jackie

>

> > It's a

> > > > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

> > never

> > > > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

> >

> > This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my

> mom

> > gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies

> without

> > bursting into tears.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Thanks Jackie,

I am not going back either!!! My mother is also in her early 80s;

sometimes I slip-up and start to feel like perhaps I should just hang in

there - you never know 'how long' she will be here. But then I realize,

that is what she has been saying to me for the past 20 years - in order

to get her way. 'You'll miss me when I am gone', 'No one know how hard

it is to live without a mother' and on and on and on . . . . . . . . .

You are courageous; I will try the book Boundaries.

K

pandoodle2001 wrote:

> it IS very difficult !! Up until last year, I was there, where you

> are...I

> would get jealous of my friends and their relationships with their

> mothers...and I'd get angry because I don't have that...life isn't

> fair !

> Once I realized this, with the therapists help, I was able to move

> forward, and it's helped a lot that mother is punishing me, so it

> made the

> break easier..but there's no going back. I do plan on writing a

> letter to

> my dad, and telling him I just can't take the abuse any longer, and

> hand it

> to him when I see them this summer ( it will be his 85th birthday)

> I will

> not let mother bully me any more..I will not feel guilty about it

> either...a

> great book about boundaries the therapist recommended was Boundaries

> by Dr

> Henry Cloud. this book helped me see how wrong mother is and how

> messed up

> our family is.

>

> Jackie

>

> > It's a

> > > > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

> > never

> > > > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

> >

> > This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my

> mom

> > gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies

> without

> > bursting into tears.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kyla,

I like that!! When I feel guilty I can remind myself, she is not calling

me either!!!!! Thanks

kylaboo728 wrote:

> Jackie -- I could have written your last several posts. My dad also

> tries to keep dragging me to nada (we're currently in an extended

> silent treatment phase from her)

>

> When I refused, he got pissy and had a tantrum -- even though,

> behind my back, he agreed with the points I raised when he was

> discussing it with my brother. He wouldn't dare admit it to me.

>

> He would just rather I make peace, shut up, cram my feelings down

> and go to her. I'd rather not.

>

> I, too, always kept the hope that we had a close relationship -- my

> nada has her good points, too. But, when she goes into one of her

> emotional storms, watch out. I got tired of it.

>

> I still wrestle with the guilt of not contacting her -- but I have

> to remind myself " Hey, she's not contacting you, either. " My dad is

> still punishing me for abandoning the " Family Script " , too.

>

> I feel as though I'm hanging out on a limb -- and every once in

> awhile I have to beat back those old waves of guilt for not rushing

> in to fix things. It feels very wierd.

>

> -Kyla

>

>

> >

> > I agree. I tried my whole life, and wish I could have a

> > relationship with my mother...she does have good points..but she's

> > made it clear that the only relationship she wants will be on her

> > terms only...she doesn't care that she hasn't spoken to me in

> almost

> > a year, I guess it doesn't bother her...she's somehow justified it

> > to herself...

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> > > For those of you that are in a state of n/c, I bless you for

> your

> > > courage and strength. Stay out of the darkness of your BP parent

> > and

> > > stay in the light. You deserve that.

> > >

> > > For those of staying in contact with your BP parent stay in the

> > light

> > > too, and know this is the best decision for you.

> > >

> > > No judgements here, whatever works for you.

> > >

> > > love and blessings,

> > > Malinda

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

Kyla,

I like that!! When I feel guilty I can remind myself, she is not calling

me either!!!!! Thanks

kylaboo728 wrote:

> Jackie -- I could have written your last several posts. My dad also

> tries to keep dragging me to nada (we're currently in an extended

> silent treatment phase from her)

>

> When I refused, he got pissy and had a tantrum -- even though,

> behind my back, he agreed with the points I raised when he was

> discussing it with my brother. He wouldn't dare admit it to me.

>

> He would just rather I make peace, shut up, cram my feelings down

> and go to her. I'd rather not.

>

> I, too, always kept the hope that we had a close relationship -- my

> nada has her good points, too. But, when she goes into one of her

> emotional storms, watch out. I got tired of it.

>

> I still wrestle with the guilt of not contacting her -- but I have

> to remind myself " Hey, she's not contacting you, either. " My dad is

> still punishing me for abandoning the " Family Script " , too.

>

> I feel as though I'm hanging out on a limb -- and every once in

> awhile I have to beat back those old waves of guilt for not rushing

> in to fix things. It feels very wierd.

>

> -Kyla

>

>

> >

> > I agree. I tried my whole life, and wish I could have a

> > relationship with my mother...she does have good points..but she's

> > made it clear that the only relationship she wants will be on her

> > terms only...she doesn't care that she hasn't spoken to me in

> almost

> > a year, I guess it doesn't bother her...she's somehow justified it

> > to herself...

> >

> > Jackie

> >

> > > For those of you that are in a state of n/c, I bless you for

> your

> > > courage and strength. Stay out of the darkness of your BP parent

> > and

> > > stay in the light. You deserve that.

> > >

> > > For those of staying in contact with your BP parent stay in the

> > light

> > > too, and know this is the best decision for you.

> > >

> > > No judgements here, whatever works for you.

> > >

> > > love and blessings,

> > > Malinda

> >

>

>

[Guest guest]

'Guilt' is a hard nut to crack - but we can do it.

pandoodle2001 wrote:

> Kyla,

>

> this is whats so wonderful about these lists...you are not alone !!

> I am going through exactly what you are now...mother isn't speaking

> to me because I got mad that she gives money and other things to my

> siblings and nothing to me ( how DARE I get mad a HER !!) Dad is

> trying to get me to forgive and forget ! I tell him I forgive

> her...she's not a normal person, somethings wrong with her..but I

> will not forget it, otherwise I'd be back baling from the same

> sinking boat. I tell him she chooses not to treat me equally, and

> it's my right and duty to protect myself from her abuse...so until

> she decides she's going to act like a normal human being, I will

> just have to protect myself and not allow her to take her pot shots

> at me. I had LOTS of guilt !! I was always suckered back because

> of the guilt, but once I saw the therapist and she taught me no one

> has a right to treat me like crap unless I allow it..then I started

> sticking up for myself. It's been a hard road being the outcast,

> but really, I was before too, I just didn't realize it since she's

> been giving my siblings money and other things for years ! I'm not

> done healing..I still have a ways to go...but someday I hope to be

> fully healed :-)

>

> Jackie

>

>

> >

> > Jackie -- I could have written your last several posts. My dad

> also

> > tries to keep dragging me to nada (we're currently in an extended

> > silent treatment phase from her)

> >

> > When I refused, he got pissy and had a tantrum -- even though,

> > behind my back, he agreed with the points I raised when he was

> > discussing it with my brother. He wouldn't dare admit it to me.

> >

> > He would just rather I make peace, shut up, cram my feelings down

> > and go to her. I'd rather not.

> >

> > I, too, always kept the hope that we had a close relationship --

> my

> > nada has her good points, too. But, when she goes into one of her

> > emotional storms, watch out. I got tired of it.

> >

> > I still wrestle with the guilt of not contacting her -- but I have

> > to remind myself " Hey, she's not contacting you, either. " My dad

> is

> > still punishing me for abandoning the " Family Script " , too.

> >

> > I feel as though I'm hanging out on a limb -- and every once in

> > awhile I have to beat back those old waves of guilt for not

> rushing

> > in to fix things. It feels very wierd.

> >

> > -Kyla

>

>

[Guest guest]

Your inner child is still suffering. I think that is why these

mother-daughter stories are so upsetting to you. Please continue to

parent yourself until you feel much better in this area.

Sylvia

>

> It's a

> > > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

> never

> > > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

>

> This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my

mom

> gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies

without

> bursting into tears.

>.....

[Guest guest]

Your inner child is still suffering. I think that is why these

mother-daughter stories are so upsetting to you. Please continue to

parent yourself until you feel much better in this area.

Sylvia

>

> It's a

> > > hard realization that she will never be your mom, and you will

> never

> > > have a mother/daughter relationship like normal people

>

> This is something that has been so difficult for me, even with my

mom

> gone for 3 years. I still can't watch mother/daughter movies

without

> bursting into tears.

>.....

[Guest guest]

> He would tell us

> not to worry, 'It is just one of your Mom's night terrors'.

What????? In

> the morning, they would act like it had never happened!!! No mention of

> it and she would act like everything was normal.

Actually, night terrors are a very real thing. My sister has two

children who are now adults who have them. They are not just normal

nighmares. They are very real and absolutely terrifying. My neice

once flew out of bad so fast she cut her head open on a table near by.

My nephew would come up to his parents' room sobbing well into his

20's. Your mom may have actually had 'night terrors " . Dee

[Guest guest]

> He would tell us

> not to worry, 'It is just one of your Mom's night terrors'.

What????? In

> the morning, they would act like it had never happened!!! No mention of

> it and she would act like everything was normal.

Actually, night terrors are a very real thing. My sister has two

children who are now adults who have them. They are not just normal

nighmares. They are very real and absolutely terrifying. My neice

once flew out of bad so fast she cut her head open on a table near by.

My nephew would come up to his parents' room sobbing well into his

20's. Your mom may have actually had 'night terrors " . Dee