Re: My father allowed my BPD mother to treat us badly

[Guest guest]

oh yeah i know. i would start having my own opinions and making decisions for

myself. PB would throw a fit and Dad would say " look what you did to your own

mother " ... Dad knows how my mothers behavior was he just thinks i should

tolerate no matter the cost.

C

pandoodle2001 wrote:

my dad has said the same things. That I need to just get along with

mother...my oldest brother says the same thing...just do what she

wants it's easier than fighting...and most of my life I did this..I

was loyal, accomidating I did what she told me to do, didn't

challenge...but I knew this was wrong...and when she told me, when I

was 38years old, that I had to wear one of her skirts to church

because mine wasn't good enough for their church...it just stuck a

nerve..and for the next 10 years I tried to change her...I tried to

get her to see that I am allowed to have my own opinions..this

created more fights, and my dad and brother would yell at me as

well and tell me it's my fault mother is angry...I have since

learned they are wrong...mother is the only one responsible for her

anger...I don't know how you can resolve this conflict if your dad

isn't willing to really look at how your mothers behavior was...and

admit that she was off the wall...

Jackie

---------------------------------

Need Mail bonding?

Go to the Yahoo! Mail Q & A for great tips from Yahoo! Answers users.

[Guest guest]

oh yeah i know. i would start having my own opinions and making decisions for

myself. PB would throw a fit and Dad would say " look what you did to your own

mother " ... Dad knows how my mothers behavior was he just thinks i should

tolerate no matter the cost.

C

pandoodle2001 wrote:

my dad has said the same things. That I need to just get along with

mother...my oldest brother says the same thing...just do what she

wants it's easier than fighting...and most of my life I did this..I

was loyal, accomidating I did what she told me to do, didn't

challenge...but I knew this was wrong...and when she told me, when I

was 38years old, that I had to wear one of her skirts to church

because mine wasn't good enough for their church...it just stuck a

nerve..and for the next 10 years I tried to change her...I tried to

get her to see that I am allowed to have my own opinions..this

created more fights, and my dad and brother would yell at me as

well and tell me it's my fault mother is angry...I have since

learned they are wrong...mother is the only one responsible for her

anger...I don't know how you can resolve this conflict if your dad

isn't willing to really look at how your mothers behavior was...and

admit that she was off the wall...

Jackie

---------------------------------

Need Mail bonding?

Go to the Yahoo! Mail Q & A for great tips from Yahoo! Answers users.

[Guest guest]

Good point. There is such a 'personal cost' for being passive and

tolerating the behavior.

Cristie wrote:

> oh yeah i know. i would start having my own opinions and making

> decisions for myself. PB would throw a fit and Dad would say " look

> what you did to your own mother " ... Dad knows how my mothers behavior

> was he just thinks i should tolerate no matter the cost.

>

> C

>

> pandoodle2001 <sleddog@... <mailto:sleddog%40irtc.net>> wrote:

>

> my dad has said the same things. That I need to just get along with

> mother...my oldest brother says the same thing...just do what she

> wants it's easier than fighting...and most of my life I did this..I

> was loyal, accomidating I did what she told me to do, didn't

> challenge...but I knew this was wrong...and when she told me, when I

> was 38years old, that I had to wear one of her skirts to church

> because mine wasn't good enough for their church...it just stuck a

> nerve..and for the next 10 years I tried to change her...I tried to

> get her to see that I am allowed to have my own opinions..this

> created more fights, and my dad and brother would yell at me as

> well and tell me it's my fault mother is angry...I have since

> learned they are wrong...mother is the only one responsible for her

> anger...I don't know how you can resolve this conflict if your dad

> isn't willing to really look at how your mothers behavior was...and

> admit that she was off the wall...

>

> Jackie

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Need Mail bonding?

> Go to the Yahoo! Mail Q & A for great tips from Yahoo! Answers users.

>

>

[Guest guest]

Good point. There is such a 'personal cost' for being passive and

tolerating the behavior.

Cristie wrote:

> oh yeah i know. i would start having my own opinions and making

> decisions for myself. PB would throw a fit and Dad would say " look

> what you did to your own mother " ... Dad knows how my mothers behavior

> was he just thinks i should tolerate no matter the cost.

>

> C

>

> pandoodle2001 <sleddog@... <mailto:sleddog%40irtc.net>> wrote:

>

> my dad has said the same things. That I need to just get along with

> mother...my oldest brother says the same thing...just do what she

> wants it's easier than fighting...and most of my life I did this..I

> was loyal, accomidating I did what she told me to do, didn't

> challenge...but I knew this was wrong...and when she told me, when I

> was 38years old, that I had to wear one of her skirts to church

> because mine wasn't good enough for their church...it just stuck a

> nerve..and for the next 10 years I tried to change her...I tried to

> get her to see that I am allowed to have my own opinions..this

> created more fights, and my dad and brother would yell at me as

> well and tell me it's my fault mother is angry...I have since

> learned they are wrong...mother is the only one responsible for her

> anger...I don't know how you can resolve this conflict if your dad

> isn't willing to really look at how your mothers behavior was...and

> admit that she was off the wall...

>

> Jackie

>

>

> ---------------------------------

> Need Mail bonding?

> Go to the Yahoo! Mail Q & A for great tips from Yahoo! Answers users.

>

>

[Guest guest]

dad would sit me down at the table and tell me that mother is " difficult "

and life will be much easier if I just went along and didn't challenge her

and just did what she told me to. I'd say that doesn't make her happy, (

nothing made her happy) as she'll find something else to argue/complain

about. I asked him how he could stand to put up with her...he said he lets

it go in one ear and out the other...Once I got a call from mother...she was

all upset and crying. She said " your father just yelled at me! " so I,

being the ungrateful daughter, said it's about time ! She never called me

to complain about that again....but when I'm there she's always telling me

inappropriate things about my dad, then says, " see, he isn't perfect " My

dad and I have always had a good relationship, despite mother

Jackie

oh yeah i know. i would start having my own opinions and making decisions

for myself. PB would throw a fit and Dad would say " look what you did to

your own mother " ... Dad knows how my mothers behavior was he just thinks i

should tolerate no matter the cost.

C

[Guest guest]

my father excuses what mother does too, unless I challenge him. I'll say

" that doesn't give her the right to..... " then he admits she's spoiled and

acts like a brat...with my siblings, when mother was on the war path, he was

right along beside her..but with me ( I'm daddies favorite) he never lashed

into me just because mother was...he never protected me, and never stuck up

for me...but he never attacked either..2 years ago, he seemed to finally

admit that something's not right with mother...and we had a long talk about

BPD and that there was nothing he could have done to stop her behavior...he

feels very guilty for not protecting us kids from her...but last year when I

tried to talk to him about mothers condition, he wouldn't talk about it, he

was very uneasy and changed the subject or got up and walked away...I know

he has to live with it...so for him denial is the easiest way for him to

cope...at almost 85, that's not likely to change

Jackie

My father constantly bats back points I make about nada -- he

excuses everything she does, while dismissing the points I raise.

Has a reason for everything THEY do or don't do -- yet has no

problem wagging his finger of blame at me for ANY perceived slight.

He refuses to acknowlege any of my points of view or his

responsibility in ANY of nada's destructiveness. It has damaged our

relationship. I've stated my case to him very clearly and he

refuses to hear. There's no more I can do on that front.

I can just be polite when we're thrown together -- but, thanks to

his resolve to always defend nada, we'll never be close.

-Kyla

[Guest guest]

What gets me is he wouldnt think of tolerating that kind of behavior

form anyone else. and also criticizes me for tolerating ANYTHING from

other people in my life. Well gee when you are trained to accept abuse

its hard to see where you deserve better. And you do! but where is a

reference point in " better " ?

>

> Good point. There is such a 'personal cost' for being passive and

> tolerating the behavior.

>

[Guest guest]

He knows that i am somewhat stubborn and will defend my opinion no

matter his " advice " But i have to give him credit he still loves me

unconditinally and was allways there for me. I never ever had to do

with out even when I did things he disaproved.

Its just that i cant bear to hear him say that " aww come on "

and " stop your cying and whining " I am suposed to see him this

weekend. But dread it for the first time becase all this conflict is

welling up inside me. I am thinking of avoiding him and giving silent

treatment but that would be kind of imature.

Still indecisive. but thanks for your kind words an support.

Cristie

>

> > Yes that is what i am after to resove for me alone, for my peace

of

> > mind. my

> > father is constantly disagreeing or arguing the point of every

> > statement i make

> > no mattter how unim[portant or benign. so last thing i expect is

him

> > to agree

> > with me. The most i can expect is a simple acknowledgement. He

wants me

> > to " understand, support, forgive, etc " because shes sick. Well

isn't

> > that the

> > parents job, not the child. For long as i remeber i felt i was

trapped

> > in a family

> > run by a three year old tyrant with no way out.

[Guest guest]

Cristie wrote: ³When you are trained to accept abuse its hard to see where

you deserve better.²

How true is that?!!? I¹ve been with my wonderful fiancee now for two and a

half years, and I STILL sometimes feel that I don¹t deserve him. I feel like

he¹s going to leave me at any moment because I¹m not supposed to have any

relationship happiness. I even told him, not too long ago, to leave because

I didn¹t want him to have to put up with nada and fada and their crap. And

this seemed like a perfectly logical thing to me ­ to throw away an

absolutely wonderful man and get sucked back into their craziness. Well, he

said he¹s not going anywhere (amazing!), so I guess my messed-up brain will

just have to get used to having a loving, respectful relationship for once!

: )

[Guest guest]

Excellent point! I hadn't thought of it that way! And excellent

illustration of how we are disregarded. Our feelings and

protestations don't register on their radar screen.

-Kyla

> >

> > Good point. There is such a 'personal cost' for being passive and

> > tolerating the behavior.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

>How true is that?!!? I¹ve been with my wonderful fiancee now for two and a

>half years, and I STILL sometimes feel that I don¹t deserve him. I feel

>like

>he¹s going to leave me at any moment because I¹m not supposed to have any

>relationship happiness.

I totally know what you mean...after almost 26 years of marriage once in a

while I still feel this way...especially after a dealing with The Evil

One...but he hasn't left yet LOL

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Hi jackie,

Been therre done that same exact thing. With a twist - PB used to

bang herself up agains the bricks outside then threaten to go into

town and tell everyone dad was beating on her. he never ever laid a

hand. All that abuse and broken bones she dealt me over the years.

Then one day she had the gall to call me up just like yours did you

and cry that dad had been beating on her. i laughed no hes not. Shed

say but now that is physical abuse!? " OH the irony.. wow if only he

would punch the daylights out of her. She called me up again

recomending i not come and visit cause " we were having problems " i

laughed and laughed, then told her oh YOU are allways the one having

problems and hung up. She quit dumping on me and started going to

relatives with the wife beater fantasy and they eventually figured

her out. Trust me if you are not around for her to dump on she will

find someone else less than compliant and they will react the way

normal people do. They are in less of a FOG and can see insanity for

what it is. Why they wont beleive you when you first try to tell them

i dont know. maybe its just one of those things you have to BE there!

I love your posts Jackie i feel we are kindred and we UNDERSTAND each

other. Sorry if it seems too forward.

Cristie

> dad would sit me down at the table and tell me that mother

is " difficult " and life will be much easier if I just went along and

didn't challenge her and just did what she told me to. I'd say that

doesn't make her happy, ( nothing made her happy) as she'll find

something else to argue/complain about. I asked him how he could

stand to put up with her...he said he lets it go in one ear and out

the other...Once I got a call from mother...she was all upset and

crying. She said " your father just yelled at me! " so I, being the

ungrateful daughter, said it's about time ! She never called me to

complain about that again....but when I'm there she's always telling

me inappropriate things about my dad, then says, " see, he isn't

perfect " My dad and I have always had a good relationship, despite

mother

>

> Jackie

[Guest guest]

Hi jackie,

Been therre done that same exact thing. With a twist - PB used to

bang herself up agains the bricks outside then threaten to go into

town and tell everyone dad was beating on her. he never ever laid a

hand. All that abuse and broken bones she dealt me over the years.

Then one day she had the gall to call me up just like yours did you

and cry that dad had been beating on her. i laughed no hes not. Shed

say but now that is physical abuse!? " OH the irony.. wow if only he

would punch the daylights out of her. She called me up again

recomending i not come and visit cause " we were having problems " i

laughed and laughed, then told her oh YOU are allways the one having

problems and hung up. She quit dumping on me and started going to

relatives with the wife beater fantasy and they eventually figured

her out. Trust me if you are not around for her to dump on she will

find someone else less than compliant and they will react the way

normal people do. They are in less of a FOG and can see insanity for

what it is. Why they wont beleive you when you first try to tell them

i dont know. maybe its just one of those things you have to BE there!

I love your posts Jackie i feel we are kindred and we UNDERSTAND each

other. Sorry if it seems too forward.

Cristie

> dad would sit me down at the table and tell me that mother

is " difficult " and life will be much easier if I just went along and

didn't challenge her and just did what she told me to. I'd say that

doesn't make her happy, ( nothing made her happy) as she'll find

something else to argue/complain about. I asked him how he could

stand to put up with her...he said he lets it go in one ear and out

the other...Once I got a call from mother...she was all upset and

crying. She said " your father just yelled at me! " so I, being the

ungrateful daughter, said it's about time ! She never called me to

complain about that again....but when I'm there she's always telling

me inappropriate things about my dad, then says, " see, he isn't

perfect " My dad and I have always had a good relationship, despite

mother

>

> Jackie

[Guest guest]

Hi jackie,

Been therre done that same exact thing. With a twist - PB used to

bang herself up agains the bricks outside then threaten to go into

town and tell everyone dad was beating on her. he never ever laid a

hand. All that abuse and broken bones she dealt me over the years.

Then one day she had the gall to call me up just like yours did you

and cry that dad had been beating on her. i laughed no hes not. Shed

say but now that is physical abuse!? " OH the irony.. wow if only he

would punch the daylights out of her. She called me up again

recomending i not come and visit cause " we were having problems " i

laughed and laughed, then told her oh YOU are allways the one having

problems and hung up. She quit dumping on me and started going to

relatives with the wife beater fantasy and they eventually figured

her out. Trust me if you are not around for her to dump on she will

find someone else less than compliant and they will react the way

normal people do. They are in less of a FOG and can see insanity for

what it is. Why they wont beleive you when you first try to tell them

i dont know. maybe its just one of those things you have to BE there!

I love your posts Jackie i feel we are kindred and we UNDERSTAND each

other. Sorry if it seems too forward.

Cristie

> dad would sit me down at the table and tell me that mother

is " difficult " and life will be much easier if I just went along and

didn't challenge her and just did what she told me to. I'd say that

doesn't make her happy, ( nothing made her happy) as she'll find

something else to argue/complain about. I asked him how he could

stand to put up with her...he said he lets it go in one ear and out

the other...Once I got a call from mother...she was all upset and

crying. She said " your father just yelled at me! " so I, being the

ungrateful daughter, said it's about time ! She never called me to

complain about that again....but when I'm there she's always telling

me inappropriate things about my dad, then says, " see, he isn't

perfect " My dad and I have always had a good relationship, despite

mother

>

> Jackie

[Guest guest]

Oh Jackie- i know how it felt to be unprotected and unsuported by

someone you still felt very close to. My dad feels a bit self

concious worrying what us kid thinks about him but yet doesnt seem to

admit any wrong doing on his part for looking the other way all those

years. he says the same thing that there wasnt anything he could do

to stop her behavior. I dont buy into that. There were things he

could have done to report her to the authorities, have her locked up,

etc. Didnt take my cousins a few months to do that. He just didnt

have in in him to take the initiative. Something is wrong havent

quite figured it out. I think it's they just *believe* there wasnt

anything they can do.

Re: Re: My father allowed my BPD mother to treat

us badly

my father excuses what mother does too, unless I challenge him. I'll

say " that doesn't give her the right to..... " then he admits she's

spoiled and acts like a brat...with my siblings, when mother was on

the war path, he was right along beside her..but with me ( I'm

daddies favorite) he never lashed into me just because mother

was...he never protected me, and never stuck up for me...but he never

attacked either..2 years ago, he seemed to finally admit that

something's not right with mother...and we had a long talk about

BPD and that there was nothing he could have done to stop her

behavior...he feels very guilty for not protecting us kids from

her...but last year when I tried to talk to him about mothers

condition, he wouldn't talk about it, he was very uneasy and changed

the subject or got up and walked away...I know he has to live with

it...so for him denial is the easiest way for him to cope...at almost

85, that's not likely to change

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Oh Jackie- i know how it felt to be unprotected and unsuported by

someone you still felt very close to. My dad feels a bit self

concious worrying what us kid thinks about him but yet doesnt seem to

admit any wrong doing on his part for looking the other way all those

years. he says the same thing that there wasnt anything he could do

to stop her behavior. I dont buy into that. There were things he

could have done to report her to the authorities, have her locked up,

etc. Didnt take my cousins a few months to do that. He just didnt

have in in him to take the initiative. Something is wrong havent

quite figured it out. I think it's they just *believe* there wasnt

anything they can do.

Re: Re: My father allowed my BPD mother to treat

us badly

my father excuses what mother does too, unless I challenge him. I'll

say " that doesn't give her the right to..... " then he admits she's

spoiled and acts like a brat...with my siblings, when mother was on

the war path, he was right along beside her..but with me ( I'm

daddies favorite) he never lashed into me just because mother

was...he never protected me, and never stuck up for me...but he never

attacked either..2 years ago, he seemed to finally admit that

something's not right with mother...and we had a long talk about

BPD and that there was nothing he could have done to stop her

behavior...he feels very guilty for not protecting us kids from

her...but last year when I tried to talk to him about mothers

condition, he wouldn't talk about it, he was very uneasy and changed

the subject or got up and walked away...I know he has to live with

it...so for him denial is the easiest way for him to cope...at almost

85, that's not likely to change

Jackie

[Guest guest]

Oh Jackie- i know how it felt to be unprotected and unsuported by

someone you still felt very close to. My dad feels a bit self

concious worrying what us kid thinks about him but yet doesnt seem to

admit any wrong doing on his part for looking the other way all those

years. he says the same thing that there wasnt anything he could do

to stop her behavior. I dont buy into that. There were things he

could have done to report her to the authorities, have her locked up,

etc. Didnt take my cousins a few months to do that. He just didnt

have in in him to take the initiative. Something is wrong havent

quite figured it out. I think it's they just *believe* there wasnt

anything they can do.

Re: Re: My father allowed my BPD mother to treat

us badly

my father excuses what mother does too, unless I challenge him. I'll

say " that doesn't give her the right to..... " then he admits she's

spoiled and acts like a brat...with my siblings, when mother was on

the war path, he was right along beside her..but with me ( I'm

daddies favorite) he never lashed into me just because mother

was...he never protected me, and never stuck up for me...but he never

attacked either..2 years ago, he seemed to finally admit that

something's not right with mother...and we had a long talk about

BPD and that there was nothing he could have done to stop her

behavior...he feels very guilty for not protecting us kids from

her...but last year when I tried to talk to him about mothers

condition, he wouldn't talk about it, he was very uneasy and changed

the subject or got up and walked away...I know he has to live with

it...so for him denial is the easiest way for him to cope...at almost

85, that's not likely to change

Jackie

[Guest guest]

I love your posts Jackie i feel we are kindred and we UNDERSTAND each

other. Sorry if it seems too forward.

Cristie

Oh, I love your posts too :-) and yes, I agree...you could have been my

sister. not too forward at all :-)

Jackie

[Guest guest]

>Oh Jackie- i know how it felt to be unprotected and unsuported by

someone you still felt very close to. My dad feels a bit self

>concious worrying what us kid thinks about him but yet doesnt seem to

admit any wrong doing on his part for looking the other way all those

>years. he says the same thing that there wasnt anything he could do

to stop her behavior. I dont buy into that. There were things he

>could have done to report her to the authorities, have her locked up,

etc. Didnt take my cousins a few months to do that. He just didnt

>have in in him to take the initiative. Something is wrong havent

quite figured it out. I think it's they just *believe* there wasnt

>anything they can do.

I agree..I think there are things that fathers could have done...I also

think BP's choose partners they can easily manipulate and control to begin

with. My father came from an abusive alcoholic home, so weakness,

dependency and dysfunction were already in his mind...not that this excuses

him for not protecting us kids, it doesn't, but he did have hs own issues,

and couldn't save himself, so it's hard to save others..plus, my dad was a

dad when dealing with us kids...he seemed like a " normal " parent..mature,

forgiving, loving and understanding with a gentle firmness....

Jackie

[Guest guest]

I've felt that way about a lot of people on this list, too, Cristie. This is

off-topic, but where's everybody from? Can you imagine everyone getting

together...now THAT would be a real " family reunion " ! And me, I'm from Georgia.

-

sleddog wrote: I love your posts Jackie i feel we

are kindred and we UNDERSTAND each

other. Sorry if it seems too forward.

Cristie

Oh, I love your posts too :-) and yes, I agree...you could have been my

sister. not too forward at all :-)

Jackie

---------------------------------

No need to miss a message. Get email on-the-go

with Yahoo! Mail for Mobile. Get started.

[Guest guest]

yep, my father was from an aloholic family - his father drank alot

and it eventualy killed him. His mother was the codependent enabler

and put on a good front for the kids. The kids grew up and had fairly

normal lives but some of thier personality traits strongly resemlbe

those typical of adult children of alcoholics. Overacheiving,

obsessive, codependent etc. Thier mother taught them to forgive and

forget and " tolerate' others misgivings.

I agree..I think there are things that fathers could have done...I

also think BP's choose partners they can easily manipulate and

control to begin with. My father came from an abusive alcoholic

home, so weakness, dependency and dysfunction were already in his

mind...not that this excuses him for not protecting us kids, it

doesn't, but he did have hs own issues, and couldn't save himself, so

it's hard to save others..plus, my dad was a dad when dealing with us

kids...he seemed like a " normal " parent..mature, forgiving, loving

and understanding with a gentle firmness....

Jackie

===

Oh Jackie- i know how it felt to be unprotected and unsuported by

someone you still felt very close to. My dad feels a bit self

concious worrying what us kid thinks about him but yet doesnt seem to

admit any wrong doing on his part for looking the other way all those

years. he says the same thing that there wasnt anything he could do

to stop her behavior. I dont buy into that. There were things he

could have done to report her to the authorities, have her locked up,

etc. Didnt take my cousins a few months to do that. He just didnt

have in in him to take the initiative. Something is wrong havent

quite figured it out. I think it's they just *believe* there wasnt

anything they can do.

[Guest guest]

My mother came from an alcoholic father and enabling mother. My

nada's father was a mean man who left all of his children wounded.

My mother being the oldest I think got the toughest sentence from her

father.

My father came from 2 alcoholic parents and his father died after

having a crazy alcoholic binge.

My father at ten years old witnessed his father's drinking binge and

watched his father try to kill his older 14 year old brother with a

knife. Later on that same day, my grandfather passed away. My

grandmother called the family doctor, who made a home visit and gave

my grandfather a sedative to calm him down. It was too much the

alcohol and medication for my grandfather's heart.

My father never drank, he did marry my BP mother and has been

enabling her for 52 years.

It is the legacy of abuse that runs through our families.

We need to just heal from it all and most importantly stop it.

Many blessings,

Malinda

>

> I agree..I think there are things that fathers could have done...I

> also think BP's choose partners they can easily manipulate and

> control to begin with. My father came from an abusive alcoholic

> home, so weakness, dependency and dysfunction were already in his

> mind...not that this excuses him for not protecting us kids, it

> doesn't, but he did have hs own issues, and couldn't save himself,

so

> it's hard to save others..plus, my dad was a dad when dealing with

us

> kids...he seemed like a " normal " parent..mature, forgiving, loving

> and understanding with a gentle firmness....

>

> Jackie

>

> ===

> Oh Jackie- i know how it felt to be unprotected and unsuported by

> someone you still felt very close to. My dad feels a bit self

> concious worrying what us kid thinks about him but yet doesnt seem

to

> admit any wrong doing on his part for looking the other way all

those

> years. he says the same thing that there wasnt anything he could do

> to stop her behavior. I dont buy into that. There were things he

> could have done to report her to the authorities, have her locked

up,

> etc. Didnt take my cousins a few months to do that. He just didnt

> have in in him to take the initiative. Something is wrong havent

> quite figured it out. I think it's they just *believe* there wasnt

> anything they can do.

>

[Guest guest]

my dad is the oldest of 6, his mother was an enabler and they tolerated his

fathers alcoholic problems...glad I got to know my grandfather after he

stopped drinking...

Jackie

yep, my father was from an aloholic family - his father drank alot

and it eventualy killed him. His mother was the codependent enabler

and put on a good front for the kids. The kids grew up and had fairly

normal lives but some of thier personality traits strongly resemlbe

those typical of adult children of alcoholics. Overacheiving,

obsessive, codependent etc. Thier mother taught them to forgive and

forget and " tolerate' others misgivings.

[Guest guest]

It is the legacy of abuse that runs through our families.

We need to just heal from it all and most importantly stop it.

Many blessings,

Malinda

exactly, and why I was scared to have kids...when I was at the age of having

kids, I was still so messed up, and didn't know how to fix myself and start

healing...

Jackie

[Guest guest]

It is the legacy of abuse that runs through our families.

We need to just heal from it all and most importantly stop it.

Many blessings,

Malinda

exactly, and why I was scared to have kids...when I was at the age of having

kids, I was still so messed up, and didn't know how to fix myself and start

healing...

Jackie