Guest guest Posted April 22, 2007 Report Share Posted April 22, 2007 Well you came to the right place. Everybody here has a mother like that. However you sound like a saint to be there for her so closely I just left. I can see why you are exhausted. We all have a breaking point and get like that from time to time but hopefully talking will help. I think it is more hard for you because your mother is so needy and living in such close proximity. The thing with BP's it you can try and try and give them every last drop of blood you have but it will never bee enough they will try to squeeze out more until they have squeezed the life from everybody around them and they are the last one standing. That is why I just left. I really don't know what to tell you, but you and your family may have to think of another plan for her long term, if this does not work out for your sake or your mothers. My mother also has the needs of a 90 and she is royally screwing my dads finances over. It is hard to watch her just lay there and make the same mistakes over and over and just not care and have no regard for herself or those around her. It is like she would rather lay there and piss on herself that get up and do something about it. Some of us KO's stick and care for our mothers and it works just fine and others of us like me just walk away. But whatever you chose I hope you get some rest and peace and I hope you find comfort here. This place is like family. Love Lizzy > > This is my first post to this group. I learned of it while > reading " Stop Walking on Eggshells " which was recommended to me by my > therapist. I decided to enter therapy to better deal with my mother > who is Bi-polar & BPD. She was diagnosed with these disorders about > a year and a half ago after denying previous diagnosis. Basically > I've been dealing with this with her for my whole life. > > About 2 years ago she impulsively quit her job and moved from PA to > MI in the middle of winter (she hates winter and snow), lost the job > that she went out there for (probably because they saw first hand > that she had no business providing patient care; she is a nurse > practitioner), bought a house immediately after losing the job (don't > ask me how) then continued to spiral downwards. Eventually we talked > her into moving back to NY where we could help her try to get > better. She moved in with us for a few months when we wound up > buying the house across the street from us so she could be near > enough to help when necessary but not under our roof where she could > have her own space. The house has 2 apartments so she lives > downstairs. > > When she first moved here she was several thousand dollars in debt, > had bounced checks all over the place and was suicidal (again - for > probably the 30th time). My wife, sisters and I sat her down and got > her into the hospital where she refused to stay due to the fact that > she is " higher class than the rest of these people " . Eventually they > moved her to a place that is more like a resort than the hospital. > Finally she could get better becasue these people were her " class " . > Needless to say this worked for a while, she went back and forth from > there a few times while we worked out her financial situation by > using her retirement money to bail out all of the mess (in addition > to us dropping more than a few grand in ourselves). We got her lined > up with social security disability but after the retirement money ran > out and we handed her finances back over to her she completely > screwed it up again. Now she is back in debt, we are saddled with > several of her bills again, she is unable to get a job and has more > physical ailments than a 90 year old lady. Of course this is all our > fault. It goes on and on but yesterday she wound up in the hospital > again. > > I figured writing it out would help me a little. I've been talking > with my wife and she is great. She and my sister are worried about > me but I think I'm doing ok. I guess I'm posting this just to blow > off some steam and to talk to some people that are dealing with the > same issues outside of our situation. I've been up half the night > thinking about all this stuff, knowing there is nothing I can do and > trying not to be angry or blame her. I'm exhausted, not just from > today but from the past 40 years. > > Thanks for listening. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2007 Report Share Posted April 22, 2007 Well you came to the right place. Everybody here has a mother like that. However you sound like a saint to be there for her so closely I just left. I can see why you are exhausted. We all have a breaking point and get like that from time to time but hopefully talking will help. I think it is more hard for you because your mother is so needy and living in such close proximity. The thing with BP's it you can try and try and give them every last drop of blood you have but it will never bee enough they will try to squeeze out more until they have squeezed the life from everybody around them and they are the last one standing. That is why I just left. I really don't know what to tell you, but you and your family may have to think of another plan for her long term, if this does not work out for your sake or your mothers. My mother also has the needs of a 90 and she is royally screwing my dads finances over. It is hard to watch her just lay there and make the same mistakes over and over and just not care and have no regard for herself or those around her. It is like she would rather lay there and piss on herself that get up and do something about it. Some of us KO's stick and care for our mothers and it works just fine and others of us like me just walk away. But whatever you chose I hope you get some rest and peace and I hope you find comfort here. This place is like family. Love Lizzy > > This is my first post to this group. I learned of it while > reading " Stop Walking on Eggshells " which was recommended to me by my > therapist. I decided to enter therapy to better deal with my mother > who is Bi-polar & BPD. She was diagnosed with these disorders about > a year and a half ago after denying previous diagnosis. Basically > I've been dealing with this with her for my whole life. > > About 2 years ago she impulsively quit her job and moved from PA to > MI in the middle of winter (she hates winter and snow), lost the job > that she went out there for (probably because they saw first hand > that she had no business providing patient care; she is a nurse > practitioner), bought a house immediately after losing the job (don't > ask me how) then continued to spiral downwards. Eventually we talked > her into moving back to NY where we could help her try to get > better. She moved in with us for a few months when we wound up > buying the house across the street from us so she could be near > enough to help when necessary but not under our roof where she could > have her own space. The house has 2 apartments so she lives > downstairs. > > When she first moved here she was several thousand dollars in debt, > had bounced checks all over the place and was suicidal (again - for > probably the 30th time). My wife, sisters and I sat her down and got > her into the hospital where she refused to stay due to the fact that > she is " higher class than the rest of these people " . Eventually they > moved her to a place that is more like a resort than the hospital. > Finally she could get better becasue these people were her " class " . > Needless to say this worked for a while, she went back and forth from > there a few times while we worked out her financial situation by > using her retirement money to bail out all of the mess (in addition > to us dropping more than a few grand in ourselves). We got her lined > up with social security disability but after the retirement money ran > out and we handed her finances back over to her she completely > screwed it up again. Now she is back in debt, we are saddled with > several of her bills again, she is unable to get a job and has more > physical ailments than a 90 year old lady. Of course this is all our > fault. It goes on and on but yesterday she wound up in the hospital > again. > > I figured writing it out would help me a little. I've been talking > with my wife and she is great. She and my sister are worried about > me but I think I'm doing ok. I guess I'm posting this just to blow > off some steam and to talk to some people that are dealing with the > same issues outside of our situation. I've been up half the night > thinking about all this stuff, knowing there is nothing I can do and > trying not to be angry or blame her. I'm exhausted, not just from > today but from the past 40 years. > > Thanks for listening. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted April 22, 2007 Report Share Posted April 22, 2007 Well you came to the right place. Everybody here has a mother like that. However you sound like a saint to be there for her so closely I just left. I can see why you are exhausted. We all have a breaking point and get like that from time to time but hopefully talking will help. I think it is more hard for you because your mother is so needy and living in such close proximity. The thing with BP's it you can try and try and give them every last drop of blood you have but it will never bee enough they will try to squeeze out more until they have squeezed the life from everybody around them and they are the last one standing. That is why I just left. I really don't know what to tell you, but you and your family may have to think of another plan for her long term, if this does not work out for your sake or your mothers. My mother also has the needs of a 90 and she is royally screwing my dads finances over. It is hard to watch her just lay there and make the same mistakes over and over and just not care and have no regard for herself or those around her. It is like she would rather lay there and piss on herself that get up and do something about it. Some of us KO's stick and care for our mothers and it works just fine and others of us like me just walk away. But whatever you chose I hope you get some rest and peace and I hope you find comfort here. This place is like family. Love Lizzy > > This is my first post to this group. I learned of it while > reading " Stop Walking on Eggshells " which was recommended to me by my > therapist. I decided to enter therapy to better deal with my mother > who is Bi-polar & BPD. She was diagnosed with these disorders about > a year and a half ago after denying previous diagnosis. Basically > I've been dealing with this with her for my whole life. > > About 2 years ago she impulsively quit her job and moved from PA to > MI in the middle of winter (she hates winter and snow), lost the job > that she went out there for (probably because they saw first hand > that she had no business providing patient care; she is a nurse > practitioner), bought a house immediately after losing the job (don't > ask me how) then continued to spiral downwards. Eventually we talked > her into moving back to NY where we could help her try to get > better. She moved in with us for a few months when we wound up > buying the house across the street from us so she could be near > enough to help when necessary but not under our roof where she could > have her own space. The house has 2 apartments so she lives > downstairs. > > When she first moved here she was several thousand dollars in debt, > had bounced checks all over the place and was suicidal (again - for > probably the 30th time). My wife, sisters and I sat her down and got > her into the hospital where she refused to stay due to the fact that > she is " higher class than the rest of these people " . Eventually they > moved her to a place that is more like a resort than the hospital. > Finally she could get better becasue these people were her " class " . > Needless to say this worked for a while, she went back and forth from > there a few times while we worked out her financial situation by > using her retirement money to bail out all of the mess (in addition > to us dropping more than a few grand in ourselves). We got her lined > up with social security disability but after the retirement money ran > out and we handed her finances back over to her she completely > screwed it up again. Now she is back in debt, we are saddled with > several of her bills again, she is unable to get a job and has more > physical ailments than a 90 year old lady. Of course this is all our > fault. It goes on and on but yesterday she wound up in the hospital > again. > > I figured writing it out would help me a little. I've been talking > with my wife and she is great. She and my sister are worried about > me but I think I'm doing ok. I guess I'm posting this just to blow > off some steam and to talk to some people that are dealing with the > same issues outside of our situation. I've been up half the night > thinking about all this stuff, knowing there is nothing I can do and > trying not to be angry or blame her. I'm exhausted, not just from > today but from the past 40 years. > > Thanks for listening. > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2011 Report Share Posted July 6, 2011 Welcome Mike, We are glad you have joined us. We are glad the bickering has stopped as well and are very sorry that the family was fighting when you joined. As to the prednisone amounts, I believe there is no right amount. Some patients need larger doses if they are flaring or at onset and some are able to take less or at different times just need some for short periods of time. Remissions can be the same as well. I have found remissions with medications and also while just taking anti-inflammatories without the disease modifiers of bioligics. My Still's has ebbed and flowed over the course of 34 years depending on many factors. We hope you enjoy our group/family and post whenever you like or want. Good evening to you, From: mclifford@... Subject: new poster I'm new to the forum. I was diagnosed seven months ago and was lucky to finally encounter a diagnostician who recognized Still's. Is the onset at an advanced age unusual? Is 15 mg/daily of Pred an unusual dose? When people speak of remission, do they mean with or without the medications? I am glad that the bickering and personal attacks on this forum have finally subsided. I was reluctant to post or even monitor the board while that was going on. Regards, Mike Clifford, in South Texas Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2011 Report Share Posted July 6, 2011 Hi : Thanks for hanging around until things settled down. This rarely occurs but occasionally things happen because things are misunderstood. There are some really good people here and there is a wealth of information to be had by all from all. Ask questions and they are normally answered in a reasonable time (hopefully)? If you need anything don t hesitate to ask.  Bob Himes Secretary/Treasurer ISDF Panama City, FL 32404 Please visit the International Stills Disease Foundation Inc. Web Site at www.stillsdisease.org . Please make TAX DEDUCTIBLE Donations to the all volunteer, International Stills Disease Foundation (ISDF), 1123 S. Kimbrel Ave., Panama City, FL 32404. Thanks! -- new poster Hello, I'm new to the forum. I was diagnosed seven months ago and was lucky to finally encounter a diagnostician who recognized Still's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted July 6, 2011 Report Share Posted July 6, 2011 Hi , I am glad that you began to post. I also didn’t post much when I first joined the group, it took some time to post. You mentioned that you were finally diagnosed 7 months ago. How long were you sick on and off before that? I am now 46, but have been really sick since 2000. And looking back, I have probably had this since I was a child, but it was just something that was never understood, so when I was having flares as a child/teenager, it was always diagnosed as some type of Virus that would go away or ‘bursitis’, ‘tendonitis’ etc, in my joints, because I played sports. Over all, I think it was the stress of my job that finally kicked it into full gear when I was 35. I was forced to eventually give up my career, but I am at peace with it now. I have tried multiple biologics, but after having a really bad reaction to the last one (Actemra), which worked wonders until I had the reaction, I am very hesitant to go on another until I have no choice. So right now, I am on Hydro-Cortisone and MTX (Hydro-Cortisone is a type of Prednisone). I take a long list of other meds also (Wish I didn’t). My dose of MTX is 20mg. My Hydro-Cortisone dose changes all the time. I have been on a higher dose lately because I have been fighting multiple infections, but they try to keep my Hydro-Cortisone dose between 40-80mg (which is between 8-15mg of Pred). the past month or so, it has been more like 25mg of Pred, but I have been on Pred so long, that we really try to not go higher than that unless I am in the hospital and I really need to have a higher dose. The fact that you were able to start Pred later in life and be at 15mg is great for you. Your bones won’t be as damaged and your system won’t take as hard of a hit. One recommendation I can give you is from my Endocrinologist and Rheumy (Both from Vanderbilt)… I don’t know if your doctor told you this or not, and it’s up to you whether you do this or not, But if you take 5000mg of Vit D daily, it will help your system combat and balance out the Prednisone you take. It will also help your immune system. Anyway, Welcome to our family… ask any questions and join in on discussions. It really is a great place here! Hugs, Alli Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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