New Member

[Guest guest]

Hey I'm new to this group as of yesterday.

It is so nice to find it because like so many others I have slowly become

isolated and very very angry at the attempt after attempt to understand why I

have these reactions to things.

It started around 13, when my father was chewing gum in the car and then moved

to a increased verbal reactions to the annoying forks on glass and sound of my

mothers voice when she says things like " special " or " circus " for example. It

happens with my sister, my mother, my father when he chews or clears his throat.

I felt like I was plain crazy, simply mad and it angered me that the absolute

blinding rage and verbal reactions to the triggers make me feel so immature. My

family is like " what the... " they really cant understand the total confusion

that sets in when I am surrounded by triggers. Also, like many others the

triggers develop over time, compounding and usually becoming more and more

prevalent the closer I become to someone relationally. It has become so bad that

I cannot eat dinner with the family, sit and watch a movie or practically

interact at all. I hate it and I have loud music on constantly to drown out the

noises. Sadly, even then I can hear voices through the walls and that drives me

mad. Its the low frequency that you can even feel vibrating your pillow if there

is someone, usually a male voice, in the other room talking. I do not want to

let this affect future relationships like it has in the past, pushing the others

away. The worst part is watching my loved ones trying to accommodate me to no

avail and them not understanding it at all. Its SO BAD.

Triggers:

Clearing throat

" S " sounds - this is the worst. It makes me feel like instant panic and anger.

Coughing - usually more than once.

Eating, Chewing

Saliva sounds

Drinking

Swallowing

Silverware on glass

Voices through the walls

Gum chewing

Reactions:

Intense and almost blinding anger: causing confusion, tension headaches, lack of

concentration, etc.

Extreme verbal reactions

Intense apprehension

Complete bodily tension and anxiety