Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

[Guest guest]

Good luck, Tina...I hope the meeting with HR brings about a fair resolution. Do

let us know what happened.

Sending you the most positive vibes I can,

Jay

>

> Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a Harassment charge

against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... she did it as a

" punishment " for me ... sure that I would get in deep trouble).

>

> I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been good. Gum Cracker

has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing was initiated. This

includes information that I need to know to do my job. That and the fact that

she has informed all of my team mates about what is going on has made my work

place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a daily basis... and dread work

every day. I've been applying for other positions outside of my department and

pray that I'll get one.

>

> If only I were " normal " I wouldn't have to deal with this crap.

>

> Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. I really

appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of moral support.

>

> -Tina

>

> Oh, too answer some questions that have been going round:

> I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal about 30

years ago.. in my early 20s.I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching

ice/anything... especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I can't hear clocks

ticking (thankfully)... I don't hear that range. I also don't hear dog whistles,

but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm comforted by my husband's snoring now and

can't sleep without it... good for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to

take it out... too much stimulus.

>

> One question for you all? Do you think its the " sound " itself or the

repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some thing for a little while, but

the longer I listen the louder it gets. I have a co-worker who used to sit next

to me, and whenever she would eat Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear

phones... then she'd email me when she was done. It worked for us... and I

thought that she was very thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give

and take and worked for us.

>

>   --Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

>

[Guest guest]

X2Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on 3Sender: Soundsensitivity Date: Wed, 19 May 2010 20:35:04 -0000To: <Soundsensitivity >ReplyTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck! Good luck, Tina...I hope the meeting with HR brings about a fair resolution. Do let us know what happened.Sending you the most positive vibes I can,Jay>> Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... she did it as a " punishment " for me ... sure that I would get in deep trouble).> > I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.> > If only I were " normal " I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. > > Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of moral support.> > -Tina> > Oh, too answer some questions that have been going round:> I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s.I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching ice/anything... especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully)... I don't hear that range. I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too much stimulus.> > One question for you all? Do you think its the " sound " itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked for us.> >   --Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.>

[Guest guest]

Good luck, Tina

I feel for you. This condition can make normal office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to me.

So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people in my office!

Soo

PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and the next...

From: Tina

Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... she did it as a "punishment" for me ... sure that I would get in deep trouble).I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.If only I were "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of moral support.-TinaOh, too answer some questions that have been going round:

I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s. I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching ice/anything... especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully)... I don't hear that range. I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too much stimulus.One question for you all? Do you think its the "sound" itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked for us.

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Tina,

The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position. The

reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different personalities

and "quirks", and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive

unit out of these people. If there are problems (like the one you are

dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for

everyone (not perfect, but best given the people).

The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not because

you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all other

office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have. Please, please,

please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone and

in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due to

bad management. Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and

it would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a night

owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.

I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the same

conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfort

that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at least

you are addressing 4S head-on.

Good luck tomorrow,

Alon

Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Good luck, Tina

I feel for you. This condition can make normal office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to me.

So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people in my office!

Soo

PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and the next...

From: Tina

Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

To: Soundsensitivity

Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... she did it as a "punishment" for me ... sure that I would get in deep trouble).I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.If only I were "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of moral support.-TinaOh, too answer some questions that have been going round:

I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s. I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching ice/anything... especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully)... I don't hear that range. I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too much stimulus.One question for you all? Do you think its the "sound" itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked for us.

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Well it didn't go well. HR determined that I had no proof that she was harrassing me since it didn't bother my other co-workers. Other co-workers claimed that they made noises and I didn't say anything to them. I know what they are talking about (ice chewing, cracker crunching, etc.) but all of these occurred when I was in my cubicle and I simply turned up my noise machine or put in my earphones. You can't do that when someone comes into your cubicle or does it during a meeting like the gum cracker did. Anyway, they suggested that I get counseling.... since its my reaction to her gum chewing that's actually the problem. I guess I'll just have to put up with it and take lots of valium during my workday. --Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!To: Soundsensitivity , Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM

Tina,

The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position. The

reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different personalities

and "quirks", and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive

unit out of these people. If there are problems (like the one you are

dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for

everyone (not perfect, but best given the people).

The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not because

you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all other

office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have. Please, please,

please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone and

in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due to

bad management. Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and

it would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a night

owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.

I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the same

conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfort

that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at least

you are addressing 4S head-on.

Good luck tomorrow,

Alon From: "Soo" <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PMTo: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. comSubject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Good luck, Tina

I feel for you. This condition can make normal office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to me.

So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people in my office!

Soo

PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and the next...

From: Tina

Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... she did it as a "punishment" for me ... sure that I would get in deep trouble).I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.If only I were "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of moral support.-TinaOh, too answer some questions that have been going round:

I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s. I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range. I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too much stimulus.One question for you all? Do you think its the "sound" itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked for us.

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Did they offer you anything further to accommodate? Ie moving working from home ( if possible) ?? What a pitySent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on 3Sender: Soundsensitivity Date: Wed, 19 May 2010 19:15:59 -0700 (PDT)To: <Soundsensitivity >ReplyTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck! Well it didn't go well. HR determined that I had no proof that she was harrassing me since it didn't bother my other co-workers. Other co-workers claimed that they made noises and I didn't say anything to them. I know what they are talking about (ice chewing, cracker crunching, etc.) but all of these occurred when I was in my cubicle and I simply turned up my noise machine or put in my earphones. You can't do that when someone comes into your cubicle or does it during a meeting like the gum cracker did. Anyway, they suggested that I get counseling.... since its my reaction to her gum chewing that's actually the problem. I guess I'll just have to put up with it and take lots of valium during my workday. --Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.From: Alon Landa <alonelmlife>Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!To: Soundsensitivity , Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM Tina,The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position. Thereality is that all work places are made up of people who have different personalitiesand "quirks", and a good manager is one who can create a cohesiveunit out of these people. If there are problems (like the one you aredealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best foreveryone (not perfect, but best given the people). The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not becauseyou are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all otheroffice disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have. Please, please,please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone andin you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due tobad management. Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, andit would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a nightowl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the sameconditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfortthat you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at leastyou are addressing 4S head-on.Good luck tomorrow,Alon From: "Soo" <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PMTo: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. comSubject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck! Good luck, TinaI feel for you. This condition can make normal office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to me.So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people in my office!Soo PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and the next...From: Tina Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AMTo: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck! Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... she did it as a "punishment" for me ... sure that I would get in deep trouble).I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.If only I were "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of moral support.-TinaOh, too answer some questions that have been going round:I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s. I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range. I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too much stimulus.One question for you all? Do you think its the "sound" itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked for us. --Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

I'm so sorry Tina. Even if the meeting had gone in your favour it must be tough

to deal with judgement from your co-workers.

I'll be the first to admit that 4S is first and foremost a problem with my

reaction to sounds that I *know* shouldn't bother me. Often they are sounds I

make myself, e.g. the sound of eating an apple with a closed mouth. But this

doesn't make it any easier to cope with. If anything, it's just more evidence

that it's serious disorder (neurological, psychological - I still have no clue)

that should be taken seriously.

As others have suggested, is there any chance you could do some work from home?

Also, if communication is difficult, perhaps you could send an email or write a

letter explaining that you have nothing personal against them as a person and

co-worker, but you have trouble concentrating due to the gum.

>

>

> Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

> To: Soundsensitivity , Soundsensitivity

> Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Tina,

>

>

>

> The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position.  The

> reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different

personalities

> and " quirks " , and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive

> unit out of these people.  If there are problems (like the one you are

> dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for

> everyone (not perfect, but best given the people). 

>

>

>

> The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not because

> you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all

other

> office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have.  Please,

please,

> please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone and

> in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due to

> bad management.  Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and

> it would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a night

> owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.

>

>

>

> I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the same

> conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfort

> that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at

least

> you are addressing 4S head-on.

>

>

>

> Good luck tomorrow,

>

>

>

> Alon

>

>

>

> From: " Soo " <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>

> Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PM

> To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

> Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Good luck, Tina

> I feel for you. This condition can make normal

> office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to

> me.

> So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating

> co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people

> in my office!

> Soo

>  

> PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is

> almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you

> can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and

> the next...

>

>

>

>

> From: Tina

> Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

> To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

>

> Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me

> luck!

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

> Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a

> Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get

excited...

> she did it as a " punishment " for me ... sure that I would get in deep

> trouble).

>

> I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been

> good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing

> was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my

job.

> That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what

is

> going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on

a

> daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other

> positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.

>

> If

> only I were " normal " I wouldn't have to deal with this crap.

>

>

> Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening.

> I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot

of

> moral support.

>

> -Tina

>

> Oh, too answer some questions that have

> been going round:

>

>

> I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal

> about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s.

> I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching

> ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I

> can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range.

> I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm

> comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it...

good

> for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too

> much stimulus.

> One question for you all? Do you think its

> the " sound " itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand

some

> thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I

> have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat

> Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd

email

> me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was

very

> thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked

> for us.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>   --Your secrets are

> safe with me. I won't remember them

> tomorrow.

>

[Guest guest]

Don't you hate the " no one else is bothered by it " response?

Would we say to someone in a wheelchair, " I cannot see why you have a problem

negotiating these stairs. No one else has a problem with it " ?

There are comments on this board about getting proper disability recognition in

the US (I am not in the US, so I don't know the ropes at all). It might help

with getting proper accommodations at work.

I think Dr discussed it a few weeks ago, and so did a few others.

>

> Well it didn't go well. HR determined that I had no proof that she was

harrassing me since it didn't bother my other co-workers. Other co-workers

claimed that they made noises and I didn't say anything to them. I know what

they are talking about (ice chewing, cracker crunching, etc.) but all of these

occurred when I was in my cubicle and I simply turned up my noise machine or put

in my earphones. You can't do that when someone comes into your cubicle or does

it during a meeting like the gum cracker did. Anyway, they suggested that I get

counseling.... since its my reaction to her gum chewing that's actually the

problem. I guess I'll just have to put up with it and take lots of valium during

my workday.

>

>   --Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them

tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Don't you hate the " no one else is bothered by it " response?

Would we say to someone in a wheelchair, " I cannot see why you have a problem

negotiating these stairs. No one else has a problem with it " ?

There are comments on this board about getting proper disability recognition in

the US (I am not in the US, so I don't know the ropes at all). It might help

with getting proper accommodations at work.

I think Dr discussed it a few weeks ago, and so did a few others.

>

> Well it didn't go well. HR determined that I had no proof that she was

harrassing me since it didn't bother my other co-workers. Other co-workers

claimed that they made noises and I didn't say anything to them. I know what

they are talking about (ice chewing, cracker crunching, etc.) but all of these

occurred when I was in my cubicle and I simply turned up my noise machine or put

in my earphones. You can't do that when someone comes into your cubicle or does

it during a meeting like the gum cracker did. Anyway, they suggested that I get

counseling.... since its my reaction to her gum chewing that's actually the

problem. I guess I'll just have to put up with it and take lots of valium during

my workday.

>

>   --Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them

tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Dr. did post a email about a letter you can write. She also said that we are protected under the American Disablity Act 1999 under Hyperacusis. I looked it up but couldn't find it. If anyone knows where it is on their website I'd like to print it out.

It makes my heart sink, because I know the torture you must feel every single day. How evil is it to do something on purpose that they know hurts you.

Maybe consult the Labor Board.

Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 8:54 PM

I'm so sorry Tina. Even if the meeting had gone in your favour it must be tough to deal with judgement from your co-workers.I'll be the first to admit that 4S is first and foremost a problem with my reaction to sounds that I *know* shouldn't bother me. Often they are sounds I make myself, e.g. the sound of eating an apple with a closed mouth. But this doesn't make it any easier to cope with. If anything, it's just more evidence that it's serious disorder (neurological, psychological - I still have no clue) that should be taken seriously.As others have suggested, is there any chance you could do some work from home? Also, if communication is difficult, perhaps you could send an email or write a letter explaining that you have nothing personal against them as a person and co-worker, but you have trouble concentrating due to the gum.> > > Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!> To: Soundsensitivity , Soundsensitivity > Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM> > > > > > > > Â > > > > > > > >

> > > > Tina,> > > > The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position. The> reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different personalities> and "quirks", and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive> unit out of these people. If there are problems (like the one you are> dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for> everyone (not perfect, but best given the people). > > > > The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not because> you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all other> office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have. Please, please,> please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone and> in you a

little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due to> bad management. Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and> it would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a night> owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.> > > > I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the same> conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfort> that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at least> you are addressing 4S head-on.> > > > Good luck tomorrow,> > > > Alon > > > > From: "Soo" <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>> Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PM> To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com> Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update:

Wish me luck!> > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > Good luck, Tina> I feel for you. This condition can make normal > office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to > me.> So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating > co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people > in my office!> Soo>  > PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is > almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you > can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and > the next...> > > > > From: Tina > Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02

AM> To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com > > Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me > luck!> > Â > > > > > > Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a > Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... > she did it as a "punishment" for me ... sure that I would get in deep > trouble).> > I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been > good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing > was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. > That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is > going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a > daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other > positions

outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.> > If > only I were "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. > > > Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. > I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of > moral support.> > -Tina> > Oh, too answer some questions that have > been going round:> > > I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal > about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s. > I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching > ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I > can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range. > I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm > comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good >

for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too > much stimulus.> One question for you all? Do you think its > the "sound" itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some > thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I > have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat > Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email > me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very > thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked > for us.> > > > > > > > > Â --Your secrets are > safe with me. I won't remember them > tomorrow.>

[Guest guest]

Hi guys, I'm newer here, but have been dealing with this prob for about 20

years. Tina, amazing job standing up for yourself, and really therefore, all of

us.

WHoa, I did not realize that we are protected under the ADA. Tina, this would

change everything for you if it's true. If you continue to get harrassed, find

out if the ADA thing is true. You could simply go HR then, either in your

office, or if they have superiors in another branch of your company, and show

them the citation, however you can find it printed up.

If they have any brains they should be scared " witless " . All they need to do is

make a " reasonable accommodation " for you, which is all you're asking for

anyway. Harassment needs to cease and desist then, and hopefully you are in a

company large enough to require a " retaliation-free " workplace. If this IS

truly covered, you could sue. I know, who wants to do that. But having it as a

protected class in the ADA absolutely legitimizes it. I've been watching for

this for a while, so I really hope it's true.

PS ANY sane workplace already says " no gum " or would simply tell the other

person to stop. Gum is NOT required for anyone to be able to do their job.

Even in customer service where I work, you do not need gum to freshen your

breath (nor do you need sucky breath mints). I'm sure there is a bathroom where

someone can brush their teeth. Gum chewing is unprofessional at best. Keep

your head up for a new job. You should not work with trashy people! Chin up,

Girl, we're behind you!

> >

> > From: Alon Landa <alon@>

> > Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

> > To: Soundsensitivity , Soundsensitivity

> > Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Tina,

> >

> >

> >

> > The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position.  The

> > reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different

personalities

> > and " quirks " , and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive

> > unit out of these people.  If there are problems (like the one you are

> > dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for

> > everyone (not perfect, but best given the people). 

> >

> >

> >

> > The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not

because

> > you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all

other

> > office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have.  Please,

please,

> > please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone

and

> > in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due

to

> > bad management.  Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and

> > it would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a

night

> > owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.

> >

> >

> >

> > I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the

same

> > conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some

comfort

> > that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at

least

> > you are addressing 4S head-on.

> >

> >

> >

> > Good luck tomorrow,

> >

> >

> >

> > Alon

> >

> >

> >

> > From: " Soo " <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>

> > Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PM

> > To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

> > Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Good luck, Tina

> > I feel for you. This condition can make normal

> > office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to

> > me.

> > So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating

> > co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate

people

> > in my office!

> > Soo

> >  

> > PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is

> > almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you

> > can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and

> > the next...

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > From: Tina

> > Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

> > To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

> >

> > Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me

> > luck!

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a

> > Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited...

> > she did it as a " punishment " for me ... sure that I would get in deep

> > trouble).

> >

> > I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been

> > good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing

> > was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job.

> > That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is

> > going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a

> > daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other

> > positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.

> >

> > If

> > only I were " normal " I wouldn't have to deal with this crap.

> >

> >

> > Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening.

> > I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of

> > moral support.

> >

> > -Tina

> >

> > Oh, too answer some questions that have

> > been going round:

> >

> >

> > I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal

> > about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s.

> > I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching

> > ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I

> > can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range.

> > I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm

> > comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good

> > for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too

> > much stimulus.

> > One question for you all? Do you think its

> > the " sound " itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some

> > thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I

> > have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat

> > Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email

> > me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very

> > thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked

> > for us.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >   --Your secrets are

> > safe with me. I won't remember them

> > tomorrow.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi guys, I'm newer here, but have been dealing with this prob for about 20

years. Tina, amazing job standing up for yourself, and really therefore, all of

us.

WHoa, I did not realize that we are protected under the ADA. Tina, this would

change everything for you if it's true. If you continue to get harrassed, find

out if the ADA thing is true. You could simply go HR then, either in your

office, or if they have superiors in another branch of your company, and show

them the citation, however you can find it printed up.

If they have any brains they should be scared " witless " . All they need to do is

make a " reasonable accommodation " for you, which is all you're asking for

anyway. Harassment needs to cease and desist then, and hopefully you are in a

company large enough to require a " retaliation-free " workplace. If this IS

truly covered, you could sue. I know, who wants to do that. But having it as a

protected class in the ADA absolutely legitimizes it. I've been watching for

this for a while, so I really hope it's true.

PS ANY sane workplace already says " no gum " or would simply tell the other

person to stop. Gum is NOT required for anyone to be able to do their job.

Even in customer service where I work, you do not need gum to freshen your

breath (nor do you need sucky breath mints). I'm sure there is a bathroom where

someone can brush their teeth. Gum chewing is unprofessional at best. Keep

your head up for a new job. You should not work with trashy people! Chin up,

Girl, we're behind you!

> >

> > From: Alon Landa <alon@>

> > Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

> > To: Soundsensitivity , Soundsensitivity

> > Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Tina,

> >

> >

> >

> > The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position.  The

> > reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different

personalities

> > and " quirks " , and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive

> > unit out of these people.  If there are problems (like the one you are

> > dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for

> > everyone (not perfect, but best given the people). 

> >

> >

> >

> > The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not

because

> > you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all

other

> > office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have.  Please,

please,

> > please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone

and

> > in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due

to

> > bad management.  Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and

> > it would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a

night

> > owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.

> >

> >

> >

> > I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the

same

> > conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some

comfort

> > that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at

least

> > you are addressing 4S head-on.

> >

> >

> >

> > Good luck tomorrow,

> >

> >

> >

> > Alon

> >

> >

> >

> > From: " Soo " <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>

> > Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PM

> > To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

> > Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Good luck, Tina

> > I feel for you. This condition can make normal

> > office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to

> > me.

> > So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating

> > co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate

people

> > in my office!

> > Soo

> >  

> > PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is

> > almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you

> > can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and

> > the next...

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > From: Tina

> > Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

> > To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

> >

> > Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me

> > luck!

> >

> >  

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a

> > Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited...

> > she did it as a " punishment " for me ... sure that I would get in deep

> > trouble).

> >

> > I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been

> > good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing

> > was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job.

> > That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is

> > going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a

> > daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other

> > positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.

> >

> > If

> > only I were " normal " I wouldn't have to deal with this crap.

> >

> >

> > Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening.

> > I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of

> > moral support.

> >

> > -Tina

> >

> > Oh, too answer some questions that have

> > been going round:

> >

> >

> > I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal

> > about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s.

> > I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching

> > ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I

> > can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range.

> > I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm

> > comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good

> > for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too

> > much stimulus.

> > One question for you all? Do you think its

> > the " sound " itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some

> > thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I

> > have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat

> > Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email

> > me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very

> > thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked

> > for us.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >   --Your secrets are

> > safe with me. I won't remember them

> > tomorrow.

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Tina, I am so sorry, and OUTRAGED, this did not go your way. Not that you need

me to tell you this, but your co-workers' non-reaction to the gum-cracking is

irrelevant. Someone else made the perfect analogy: it would be like telling

someone in a wheelchair that a lack of ramps and curb-cuts doesn't interfere

with able-bodied peoples' ability to function, so what's the problem? Your HR

department employs IDIOTS! And as for the gum-cracker (and your DOLT of a

manager, who could have easily fixed this unhappy situation), I can't help but

fantasize about solutions that involve a baseball bat and flying teeth. Yeah,

THAT would put a prompt end to the cud-chewing.

Maybe I am overreacting, but I feel nothing short of hatred for people like your

co-worker, who deliberately bait others. That displays a shocking lack of

compassion and consideration and is utterly detestable. You don't need to

understand the situation in order to play nice, as your past co-worker

demonstrated.

Having said all that, it is so encouraging to learn that our " thing " is

protected by the ADA under hyperacusis. That could be life-changing. I would

definitely search hard-core for that language and present it to your HR

department. True, nobody wants to initiate a lawsuit, but you deserve the

ability to perform your job free of harassment (which this absolutely IS) and

hostility.

Tina, I'm thinking about you and hoping you get the fair resolution you deserve.

With much compassion,

Jay

>

>

> Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

> To: Soundsensitivity , Soundsensitivity

> Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Tina,

>

>

>

> The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position.  The

> reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different

personalities

> and " quirks " , and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive

> unit out of these people.  If there are problems (like the one you are

> dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for

> everyone (not perfect, but best given the people). 

>

>

>

> The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not because

> you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all

other

> office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have.  Please,

please,

> please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone and

> in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due to

> bad management.  Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and

> it would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a night

> owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.

>

>

>

> I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the same

> conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfort

> that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at

least

> you are addressing 4S head-on.

>

>

>

> Good luck tomorrow,

>

>

>

> Alon

>

>

>

> From: " Soo " <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>

> Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PM

> To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

> Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> Good luck, Tina

> I feel for you. This condition can make normal

> office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to

> me.

> So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating

> co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people

> in my office!

> Soo

>  

> PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is

> almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you

> can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and

> the next...

>

>

>

>

> From: Tina

> Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

> To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

>

> Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me

> luck!

>

>  

>

>

>

>

>

> Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a

> Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get

excited...

> she did it as a " punishment " for me ... sure that I would get in deep

> trouble).

>

> I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been

> good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing

> was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my

job.

> That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what

is

> going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on

a

> daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other

> positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.

>

> If

> only I were " normal " I wouldn't have to deal with this crap.

>

>

> Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening.

> I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot

of

> moral support.

>

> -Tina

>

> Oh, too answer some questions that have

> been going round:

>

>

> I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal

> about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s.

> I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching

> ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I

> can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range.

> I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm

> comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it...

good

> for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too

> much stimulus.

> One question for you all? Do you think its

> the " sound " itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand

some

> thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I

> have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat

> Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd

email

> me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was

very

> thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked

> for us.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>   --Your secrets are

> safe with me. I won't remember them

> tomorrow.

>

[Guest guest]

Actually they said that I was using my disability to harass her... it was horrible.

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

From: Alon Landa <alonelmlife (DOT) com>Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com, Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. comDate: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM

Tina,The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position. The reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different personalities and "quirks", and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive unit out of these people. If there are problems (like the one you are dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for everyone (not perfect, but best given the people). The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not because you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all other office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have. Please, please, please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone and in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due to bad management. Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and it would

be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a night owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the same conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfort that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at least you are addressing 4S head-on.Good luck tomorrow,Alon

From: "Soo" <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PMTo: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. comSubject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Good luck, Tina

I feel for you. This condition can make normal office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to me.

So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people in my office!

Soo

PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and the next...

From: Tina

Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... she did it as a "punishment" for me ... sure that I would get in deep trouble).I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.If only I were "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of moral

support.-TinaOh, too answer some questions that have been going round:

I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s.

I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range. I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too much stimulus.One question for you all? Do you think its the "sound" itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked for us.

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Actually they said that I was using my disability to harass her... it was horrible.

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

From: Alon Landa <alonelmlife (DOT) com>Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com, Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. comDate: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM

Tina,The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position. The reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different personalities and "quirks", and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive unit out of these people. If there are problems (like the one you are dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for everyone (not perfect, but best given the people). The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not because you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all other office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have. Please, please, please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone and in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due to bad management. Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and it would

be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a night owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer from the same conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfort that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at least you are addressing 4S head-on.Good luck tomorrow,Alon

From: "Soo" <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PMTo: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. comSubject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Good luck, Tina

I feel for you. This condition can make normal office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to me.

So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people in my office!

Soo

PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and the next...

From: Tina

Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM

To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com

Subject: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!

Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... she did it as a "punishment" for me ... sure that I would get in deep trouble).I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for other positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.If only I were "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of moral

support.-TinaOh, too answer some questions that have been going round:

I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s.

I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range. I also don't hear dog whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too much stimulus.One question for you all? Do you think its the "sound" itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked for us.

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Yes, I hated that response. I've given up trying to make them understand. If she comes into my cubicle popping gum again I sweetly tell her that I cannot talk to her as long as she has gum in her mouth, and suggest she email me. If she comes into a meeting I will quietly excuse myself. Let the chips fall where they may. I'm over it.

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 11:54 PM

Don't you hate the "no one else is bothered by it" response?Would we say to someone in a wheelchair, "I cannot see why you have a problem negotiating these stairs. No one else has a problem with it"?There are comments on this board about getting proper disability recognition in the US (I am not in the US, so I don't know the ropes at all). It might help with getting proper accommodations at work.I think Dr discussed it a few weeks ago, and so did a few others.>> Well it didn't go well. HR determined that I had no proof that she was harrassing me since it didn't bother my other co-workers. Other co-workers claimed that they made noises and I didn't

say anything to them. I know what they are talking about (ice chewing, cracker crunching, etc.) but all of these occurred when I was in my cubicle and I simply turned up my noise machine or put in my earphones. You can't do that when someone comes into your cubicle or does it during a meeting like the gum cracker did. Anyway, they suggested that I get counseling.... since its my reaction to her gum chewing that's actually the problem. I guess I'll just have to put up with it and take lots of valium during my workday.> > Â --Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

[Guest guest]

Actually my meeting was with HR and my manager. The HR representative said that I had no proof. I was floored. Do they really think that if someone is harrassing you that they'll do it in front of everyone?

--Your secrets are safe with me. I won't remember them tomorrow.

Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!To: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, May 20, 2010, 9:43 AM

Hi guys, I'm newer here, but have been dealing with this prob for about 20 years. Tina, amazing job standing up for yourself, and really therefore, all of us.WHoa, I did not realize that we are protected under the ADA. Tina, this would change everything for you if it's true. If you continue to get harrassed, find out if the ADA thing is true. You could simply go HR then, either in your office, or if they have superiors in another branch of your company, and show them the citation, however you can find it printed up. If they have any brains they should be scared "witless". All they need to do is make a "reasonable accommodation" for you, which is all you're asking for anyway. Harassment needs to cease and desist then, and hopefully you are in a company large enough to require a "retaliation-free" workplace. If this IS truly covered, you could sue. I know, who wants to do that. But having it as a protected class in the ADA absolutely

legitimizes it. I've been watching for this for a while, so I really hope it's true. PS ANY sane workplace already says "no gum" or would simply tell the other person to stop. Gum is NOT required for anyone to be able to do their job. Even in customer service where I work, you do not need gum to freshen your breath (nor do you need sucky breath mints). I'm sure there is a bathroom where someone can brush their teeth. Gum chewing is unprofessional at best. Keep your head up for a new job. You should not work with trashy people! Chin up, Girl, we're behind you!> > > > From: Alon Landa <alon@>> > Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!> > To: Soundsensitivity , Soundsensitivity > > Date: Wednesday, May 19, 2010, 5:33 PM> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Tina,> > > > > > > > The only thing I can say is don't doubt yourself or your position. The> > reality is that all work places are made up of people who have different personalities> > and "quirks", and a good manager is one who can create a cohesive> > unit out of these people. If there are problems (like the one you are> > dealing with) it's a good manager's job to find ways to make things best for>

> everyone (not perfect, but best given the people). > > > > > > > > The fact that you are so anxious over dealing with a gum chewer is not because> > you are crazy, but because a small situation (not much different than all other> > office disconnects) has escalated beyond what it should have. Please, please,> > please separate your annoyance with gum crackers (which occurs in everyone and> > in you a little more intensely), from a nerve-wracking office situation due to> > bad management. Anyone in your situation would dread the HR meeting, and> > it would be the same if there was a conflict over and early riser and a night> > owl trying to coordinate on a project and it not working.> > > > > > > > I'm not trying to trivialize your pain and anxiety (as I suffer

from the same> > conditions as you, and also bad management), but it may give you some comfort> > that you are suffering from two conditions, 4S and bad management, and at least> > you are addressing 4S head-on.> > > > > > > > Good luck tomorrow,> > > > > > > > Alon > > > > > > > > From: "Soo" <sooty0904yahoo (DOT) co.uk>> > Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 5:00 PM> > To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com> > Subject: Re: Gum Cracker Update: Wish me luck!> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > Good luck, Tina> > I feel for you. This condition can make normal > > office life so unbearable. The actions of Gum Cracker sound like bullying to > > me.> > So nice to hear about your melba toast-eating > > co-worker, though, what I'd give to be blessed with such considerate people > > in my office!> > Soo> >  > > PS, Yes, for me it's the repetition. Once, is > > almost OK - if I know it's just once. But most of the time it's not, or you > > can't be sure it won't repeat, so you tense up waiting for the next, and > > the next...> > > > > > > > > > From: Tina > > Sent: Wednesday, May 19, 2010 3:02 AM> > To: Soundsensitivity@ yahoogroups. com > > > > Subject:

Gum Cracker Update: Wish me > > luck!> > > >  > > > > > > > > > > > > Tomorrow afternoon I go to HR with my manager. She filed a > > Harassment charge against my gum cracking co-worker (don't get excited... > > she did it as a "punishment" for me ... sure that I would get in deep > > trouble).> > > > I'm very nervous about this meeting. My week has not been > > good. Gum Cracker has refused to communicate with me since the HR thing > > was initiated. This includes information that I need to know to do my job. > > That and the fact that she has informed all of my team mates about what is > > going on has made my work place extremely tense. I have panic attacks on a > > daily basis... and dread work every day. I've been applying for

other > > positions outside of my department and pray that I'll get one.> > > > If > > only I were "normal" I wouldn't have to deal with this crap. > > > > > > Anyway, didn't mean to bring you down, but I thanks for listening. > > I really appreciate this group. I don't post alot, but it gives me alot of > > moral support.> > > > -Tina> > > > Oh, too answer some questions that have > > been going round:> > > > > > I first noticed my problem when my children were crunching cereal > > about 30 years ago.. in my early 20s. > > I hate slurping, chewing, TMJ jaw noises, crunching > > ice/anything. .. especially with mouth open, and gum popping. I > > can't hear clocks ticking (thankfully) ... I don't hear that range. > > I also don't hear dog

whistles, but it gives me a groin jolt. I'm > > comforted by my husband's snoring now and can't sleep without it... good > > for me! Sometimes I put in my hearing aid only to take it out... too > > much stimulus.> > One question for you all? Do you think its > > the "sound" itself or the repetition that's so annoying. I can stand some > > thing for a little while, but the longer I listen the louder it gets. I > > have a co-worker who used to sit next to me, and whenever she would eat > > Melba toast she would tell me to put on my ear phones... then she'd email > > me when she was done. It worked for us... and I thought that she was very > > thoughtful for considering my feelings. It was give and take and worked > > for us.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

 --Your secrets are > > safe with me. I won't remember them > > tomorrow.> >>