Guest guest Posted December 23, 2001 Report Share Posted December 23, 2001 , It may be none of my business but sounds to me like you need a NEW man.He doesnt seem to include you either! You need to tell him to hit the road. No man is worth killing yourself for! If you've not gotten pregnant yet maybe its cause its not meant to be right now! Maybe the Lord sees how your life if now and then again maybe Larry isnt the one thats meant for you to have the baby with! You need to pray about, the Lord answers all your problems and will help you with the Meds wont. Larry also seems to be using you as a babysitter, and if i was you I'd tell him about it. And if he don't straighten get rid of him and find the man thats gonna include you in family gatherings and treat you like he loves you! Lots of Prayers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2001 Report Share Posted December 23, 2001 , It may be none of my business but sounds to me like you need a NEW man.He doesnt seem to include you either! You need to tell him to hit the road. No man is worth killing yourself for! If you've not gotten pregnant yet maybe its cause its not meant to be right now! Maybe the Lord sees how your life if now and then again maybe Larry isnt the one thats meant for you to have the baby with! You need to pray about, the Lord answers all your problems and will help you with the Meds wont. Larry also seems to be using you as a babysitter, and if i was you I'd tell him about it. And if he don't straighten get rid of him and find the man thats gonna include you in family gatherings and treat you like he loves you! Lots of Prayers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 23, 2001 Report Share Posted December 23, 2001 , It may be none of my business but sounds to me like you need a NEW man.He doesnt seem to include you either! You need to tell him to hit the road. No man is worth killing yourself for! If you've not gotten pregnant yet maybe its cause its not meant to be right now! Maybe the Lord sees how your life if now and then again maybe Larry isnt the one thats meant for you to have the baby with! You need to pray about, the Lord answers all your problems and will help you with the Meds wont. Larry also seems to be using you as a babysitter, and if i was you I'd tell him about it. And if he don't straighten get rid of him and find the man thats gonna include you in family gatherings and treat you like he loves you! Lots of Prayers, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2001 Report Share Posted December 24, 2001 , You know I tripped upon your message today and im a little taken back. I totally understand whay you are going thru. I had a stepson who my ex and I got at 2months old. I took care of this child and I was mommy for two and a half years while my ex and his mother had an affair behind my back. I was used too, meanwhile I was told i could not have my own kids and had lost three babies before that. I have been diagnosed with depression and other problems. I tried to kill myself too. I could sit here and go on and on about my sad story, but im not going to. It sounds to me like you dont want to hear everyone elses sad story. Im usually a easy person to get along with, Im just a little shocked that you would turn around on the very people who support you as friends. It is no one's fault they are in the situation they are in. You cannot help your situation and we cannot help ours. So taking it out on everyone else is not going to help. We all understand what you are gong through. There is never any one person who has been through something no one else has. Theres always someone alse. But if you think that people do not care , your wrong. People as humans can only handle as much as they can handle. You can only take what you can take and we can only take what we can take. The people who told you they cannot stop you are right. Just like in my case, if I wanted to truly die I would be dead. You cannot stop someone who is determined. Could anyone stop almost 5000 people from dieing on Sept 11th? No, those people who got on those planes could not be stopped, sure maybe that day we could have stopped them but they would just try it again. Just like the first time they bombed the building. They didn't accoplish what they wanted to do so this time they did. Do you see where those people are coming from. It sounds to me like you want someone to rush in just as you attempt to do it and stop you. Talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel. What do you have to lose? REALLY? I agree with the other person who said this little girl has a bond with you. but maybe this is the bond that you were destined to have in life. Why don't you charish this little girl? No matter what the relationship. She obviously has some sort of feelings for you. Just charish the relationship you have. When I felt like I had no one in my life, I just put myself right in the middle of things. I made people notice me. Hey look at me! Im so in so's " FRIEND " as he would say it. Dont let other people steal your joy! Jump into the mix and be heard. Dont be afriad to be let down, because you are doing exactly what they want you to do. Stand up for yourself. Anyway , I hope I haven't made you mad. Sometime's we on this end have a lot going our lives too, and when we see things like what you wrote, it adds to our worries. We all care about each other here. Sit back one day when the little girl does not realize you are watching and look at how she interacts with you. Does it really matter what everyone else thinks? You are a part of her life and you make a difference to her. Theres a lot of children in this world who are not lucky enough to have a sole and she has you. Love, less you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2001 Report Share Posted December 24, 2001 , my heart goes out to you. I truly sympathize with your turmoil. But trust me, NOTHING or NOBODY is worth dying for. God has a special plan for you and you just have to pray for the strength to get thru the tough times and listen to that still quiet voice of encouragement, strength and hope. I give you my special prayer of inner peace, hope and joy this Christmas Season and beyond. You are special, you have a purpose, you ARE loved. If you are in a " bad " situation, get out. If you aren't being respected, demand respect. If you feel empty inside and are looking outside of yourself for something to fill that void, quit looking. Only the Holy Spirit can fill those empty voids inside of you that hurt so much. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that can heal and fulfill like God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. God LOVES you!!!! He sent his only child to this earth over 2000 years ago......Jesus died on the cross and as he was dying, for me and you, he said " , I love you and I'm dying for you so you don't have to " . Please , don't waste the gift of God! I am not speaking from just text or hype. I am speaking to you on a very personal level. I am someone who, too, has felt pain like you are. I understand, I empathize, I can feel your pain. But please trust me and believe that you are loved, you are special, you were created in God's image to fulfill something that only you can fulfill. Let go of your hurt, give it to God and look to Him for guidance, peace and love. My prayers, group > yesterday my boyfriends daughter came to visit us. Today is her birthday. > She visits every two weeks. she is 9. Today we went to his mothers house > and celebrated christmas and her birthday. Everyone made such a fuss over > her. I felt so left out because I wasnt her mother, I wasnt anyone, I was > just Larry's " friend " as I was introduced. She and I get along quite well > and I feel so lucky to know her. Her grandmother kept saying, leave this > present here so when you come back you will have some toys to play with. And > leave that one here too. Until almost all the toys were divided between her > home with her mother in another town or Grandmothers house. I felt tears > welling up in my eyes. I have nothing to do with this child, they make all > the arrangements to get her picked up or dropped off, Everything is decided > and Larry doesnt always tell me whats going on. Is it none of my business? > but when he needs someone to watch her, I am automatically selected. > yesterday she wanted me to go get her from grandmothers, so with the > permission of Larry (her daddy) I was able too. I have grown close to > " Caitlyn " but because we arent married, or engaged, just going steady, > dating, living together whatever you call it, I am nobody in her life. One > night I went with Larry to meet his ex wife half way to give them Caitlyn. > His ex's boyfriend was there with caitlyn's mother. On the way home Larry > made a comment that This boyfriend really treats Caitlyn good. I shut my > mouth. Today I cried. I have to have my own baby. I cant keep getting > attached to someone else's child and stand back as the visitor or friend, > while the " FAMILY " celebrates events that I wish I could be included in. > What is the matter with me? Am I crazy? Today my heart ached so bad for my > own child. I am no closer to having my own child than I am being a astronut > on the shuttle. When does the pain end? I hurt so deep inside. I dont want > to reach out and touch anyone. I am so scared to love anyone. I have pulled > into a shell which is causing problems between me and larry. I am depressed > and the meds arent helping. Cant go to doc until Jan 14th. I tried to kill > myself twice, the therapist on the phone said that there is nothing anyone > can do. If you want to kill yourself they cant stop you so they just let you > go. Its ok by me if thats how society feels about the lost and hurt. > Thousands die in a horrific death. Every one morns. One person is depressed > and attempts suicide and the doc saves them, and says ok, goodbye, go try it > again. No one morns. Larry is asleep upstairs, who is watching Caitlyn, > ME, the outsider, the one whos picture didnt get taken at the family > gathering. Am I on a pity trip? I want so bad to belong. I want a husand > and a family. All of you take for granted your mother in laws and your > family gatherings. Do you know how lucky you are? Imagine if you didnt have > a husband. You had no one. You cant imagine that can you? Dream about your > reversals. About your new babies. You all have dreams, I have nothing. > Feel sorry for myself, you betcha, sorry that I didnt die when I tried last > week, crying for all the babies I will never have. There are no words for > how I really feel. Just sorry there is no gun around. the pills take to > long and someone always saves me. Call me a crybaby, call me whatever you > want. Today I have reached the end of my rope. > Merry Christmas > ~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2001 Report Share Posted December 24, 2001 , my heart goes out to you. I truly sympathize with your turmoil. But trust me, NOTHING or NOBODY is worth dying for. God has a special plan for you and you just have to pray for the strength to get thru the tough times and listen to that still quiet voice of encouragement, strength and hope. I give you my special prayer of inner peace, hope and joy this Christmas Season and beyond. You are special, you have a purpose, you ARE loved. If you are in a " bad " situation, get out. If you aren't being respected, demand respect. If you feel empty inside and are looking outside of yourself for something to fill that void, quit looking. Only the Holy Spirit can fill those empty voids inside of you that hurt so much. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that can heal and fulfill like God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. God LOVES you!!!! He sent his only child to this earth over 2000 years ago......Jesus died on the cross and as he was dying, for me and you, he said " , I love you and I'm dying for you so you don't have to " . Please , don't waste the gift of God! I am not speaking from just text or hype. I am speaking to you on a very personal level. I am someone who, too, has felt pain like you are. I understand, I empathize, I can feel your pain. But please trust me and believe that you are loved, you are special, you were created in God's image to fulfill something that only you can fulfill. Let go of your hurt, give it to God and look to Him for guidance, peace and love. My prayers, group > yesterday my boyfriends daughter came to visit us. Today is her birthday. > She visits every two weeks. she is 9. Today we went to his mothers house > and celebrated christmas and her birthday. Everyone made such a fuss over > her. I felt so left out because I wasnt her mother, I wasnt anyone, I was > just Larry's " friend " as I was introduced. She and I get along quite well > and I feel so lucky to know her. Her grandmother kept saying, leave this > present here so when you come back you will have some toys to play with. And > leave that one here too. Until almost all the toys were divided between her > home with her mother in another town or Grandmothers house. I felt tears > welling up in my eyes. I have nothing to do with this child, they make all > the arrangements to get her picked up or dropped off, Everything is decided > and Larry doesnt always tell me whats going on. Is it none of my business? > but when he needs someone to watch her, I am automatically selected. > yesterday she wanted me to go get her from grandmothers, so with the > permission of Larry (her daddy) I was able too. I have grown close to > " Caitlyn " but because we arent married, or engaged, just going steady, > dating, living together whatever you call it, I am nobody in her life. One > night I went with Larry to meet his ex wife half way to give them Caitlyn. > His ex's boyfriend was there with caitlyn's mother. On the way home Larry > made a comment that This boyfriend really treats Caitlyn good. I shut my > mouth. Today I cried. I have to have my own baby. I cant keep getting > attached to someone else's child and stand back as the visitor or friend, > while the " FAMILY " celebrates events that I wish I could be included in. > What is the matter with me? Am I crazy? Today my heart ached so bad for my > own child. I am no closer to having my own child than I am being a astronut > on the shuttle. When does the pain end? I hurt so deep inside. I dont want > to reach out and touch anyone. I am so scared to love anyone. I have pulled > into a shell which is causing problems between me and larry. I am depressed > and the meds arent helping. Cant go to doc until Jan 14th. I tried to kill > myself twice, the therapist on the phone said that there is nothing anyone > can do. If you want to kill yourself they cant stop you so they just let you > go. Its ok by me if thats how society feels about the lost and hurt. > Thousands die in a horrific death. Every one morns. One person is depressed > and attempts suicide and the doc saves them, and says ok, goodbye, go try it > again. No one morns. Larry is asleep upstairs, who is watching Caitlyn, > ME, the outsider, the one whos picture didnt get taken at the family > gathering. Am I on a pity trip? I want so bad to belong. I want a husand > and a family. All of you take for granted your mother in laws and your > family gatherings. Do you know how lucky you are? Imagine if you didnt have > a husband. You had no one. You cant imagine that can you? Dream about your > reversals. About your new babies. You all have dreams, I have nothing. > Feel sorry for myself, you betcha, sorry that I didnt die when I tried last > week, crying for all the babies I will never have. There are no words for > how I really feel. Just sorry there is no gun around. the pills take to > long and someone always saves me. Call me a crybaby, call me whatever you > want. Today I have reached the end of my rope. > Merry Christmas > ~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 24, 2001 Report Share Posted December 24, 2001 , my heart goes out to you. I truly sympathize with your turmoil. But trust me, NOTHING or NOBODY is worth dying for. God has a special plan for you and you just have to pray for the strength to get thru the tough times and listen to that still quiet voice of encouragement, strength and hope. I give you my special prayer of inner peace, hope and joy this Christmas Season and beyond. You are special, you have a purpose, you ARE loved. If you are in a " bad " situation, get out. If you aren't being respected, demand respect. If you feel empty inside and are looking outside of yourself for something to fill that void, quit looking. Only the Holy Spirit can fill those empty voids inside of you that hurt so much. There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING that can heal and fulfill like God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. God LOVES you!!!! He sent his only child to this earth over 2000 years ago......Jesus died on the cross and as he was dying, for me and you, he said " , I love you and I'm dying for you so you don't have to " . Please , don't waste the gift of God! I am not speaking from just text or hype. I am speaking to you on a very personal level. I am someone who, too, has felt pain like you are. I understand, I empathize, I can feel your pain. But please trust me and believe that you are loved, you are special, you were created in God's image to fulfill something that only you can fulfill. Let go of your hurt, give it to God and look to Him for guidance, peace and love. My prayers, group > yesterday my boyfriends daughter came to visit us. Today is her birthday. > She visits every two weeks. she is 9. Today we went to his mothers house > and celebrated christmas and her birthday. Everyone made such a fuss over > her. I felt so left out because I wasnt her mother, I wasnt anyone, I was > just Larry's " friend " as I was introduced. She and I get along quite well > and I feel so lucky to know her. Her grandmother kept saying, leave this > present here so when you come back you will have some toys to play with. And > leave that one here too. Until almost all the toys were divided between her > home with her mother in another town or Grandmothers house. I felt tears > welling up in my eyes. I have nothing to do with this child, they make all > the arrangements to get her picked up or dropped off, Everything is decided > and Larry doesnt always tell me whats going on. Is it none of my business? > but when he needs someone to watch her, I am automatically selected. > yesterday she wanted me to go get her from grandmothers, so with the > permission of Larry (her daddy) I was able too. I have grown close to > " Caitlyn " but because we arent married, or engaged, just going steady, > dating, living together whatever you call it, I am nobody in her life. One > night I went with Larry to meet his ex wife half way to give them Caitlyn. > His ex's boyfriend was there with caitlyn's mother. On the way home Larry > made a comment that This boyfriend really treats Caitlyn good. I shut my > mouth. Today I cried. I have to have my own baby. I cant keep getting > attached to someone else's child and stand back as the visitor or friend, > while the " FAMILY " celebrates events that I wish I could be included in. > What is the matter with me? Am I crazy? Today my heart ached so bad for my > own child. I am no closer to having my own child than I am being a astronut > on the shuttle. When does the pain end? I hurt so deep inside. I dont want > to reach out and touch anyone. I am so scared to love anyone. I have pulled > into a shell which is causing problems between me and larry. I am depressed > and the meds arent helping. Cant go to doc until Jan 14th. I tried to kill > myself twice, the therapist on the phone said that there is nothing anyone > can do. If you want to kill yourself they cant stop you so they just let you > go. Its ok by me if thats how society feels about the lost and hurt. > Thousands die in a horrific death. Every one morns. One person is depressed > and attempts suicide and the doc saves them, and says ok, goodbye, go try it > again. No one morns. Larry is asleep upstairs, who is watching Caitlyn, > ME, the outsider, the one whos picture didnt get taken at the family > gathering. Am I on a pity trip? I want so bad to belong. I want a husand > and a family. All of you take for granted your mother in laws and your > family gatherings. Do you know how lucky you are? Imagine if you didnt have > a husband. You had no one. You cant imagine that can you? Dream about your > reversals. About your new babies. You all have dreams, I have nothing. > Feel sorry for myself, you betcha, sorry that I didnt die when I tried last > week, crying for all the babies I will never have. There are no words for > how I really feel. Just sorry there is no gun around. the pills take to > long and someone always saves me. Call me a crybaby, call me whatever you > want. Today I have reached the end of my rope. > Merry Christmas > ~ > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted December 25, 2001 Report Share Posted December 25, 2001 i COULDN'T HAVE SAID IT BETTER JULIE Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You are posting as a guest. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.