Re: behaviors.

[Guest guest]

,

I don't have any answers but I do feel your frustration. I wanted to comment

that I think having weekly meetings is a great way to stay on top of things.

Sheryl, Mom to Mitch 14 and 13 CHARGE

[Guest guest]

Dear ,

I am strongly against the physical restraints that have been suggested for

Katelyn for the recent behavior. It sounds like there needs to be some more

easily accessible communication modes available to her at any time that she

can't express herself to others or that others do not seem to understand her.

We had such a similar experience! Once when kendra was in a Summer program

the class went to a swim park for a picnic. Kendra became really upset as the

bus left the group at the park and drove off. She signed " red " 'red' 'red'

and started crying unconsolably. The teacher **SAT** on her to calm her

down!! A little later at picnic time everyone started asking, " where is

kendra's red backpack with her lunch in it? " Of course it was on the bus.

I felt horrible when I heard this story. Finally the teachers realized that

Kendra had been signing red for her backpack. It was so sad that one of

Kendra's first signed communications was met with physical 'restraint' by the

teacher who did not understand her signs.

I don't think it is appropriate for them to ask you to sign such a release.

Do you feel the behavior plan is up to date and effective? If not, maybe that

can be revised appropriately.

Keep us posted!!!!!!

wendy

Mom to kendra, 13, , 19 and Camille, 21

Portland, OR

[Guest guest]

,

I agree with you feeling uncomfortable with meeting the superintendent for

the first time because of something they believe is negative about your

child. Is he there for power? Remember, she is your child. It is your final

decision alone.

To be able to restrain a student, at least here in CT, you have to be

trained. I would find out what they mean by restraining her, when, why,

where, and who? I believe here the only reason would be due to injury to

self or others. It does not mean controlling behavior. I also do not

believe in restraint, unless totally, direly necessary. There should be a

behavior program in place, if that doesn't work, then try another. There are

many programs out there, not just one.

At this meeting I would make sure that it is known she was " out of

control " due to their lack of understanding of what she was trying to

communicate. Shouldn't the most important part of the meeting be in trying

to figure out how they could have handled that situation better? Then she

wouldn't have been to the point of frustration where she ended up out of

control. Remember people like Tim Hartshorne have found all behavior has a

purpose. You might want to turn to him or Anne Golyn.

Last, they used to almost constantly discuss Patty's behavior when she

was younger. It was always negative. It was sort of like the self

fulfilling prophecy. What they expected is what they got. We finally got a

really cool teacher where at least twice a week she would write something

positive about her in her communication note book. Others would also read

it, specialisti, and they too finally turned around. Keeping Patty happy and

self confident has been the most important part of her education, and her

life.

I wish you luck. Don't be intimidated by anyone, ever. A superintendent

is just a person same as you. More important, you are the parent. We all

have found doctors who are supposed to know everything don't. I have found

this to be true of educators also.

Let us know how things go.

Bonnie, Mom to Kris 17, Patty CHARGE 15, and wife to

[Guest guest]

,

I also have a similar story when 5 adults sat on my Mark to control

a tantrum he was having (real appropriate) and he bit the principal. He was

expelled from the school!!!!!!!!!!!! We later found out he had a sinus

blockage that was causing severe headaches. The correct measures have to be

in place for behavior management.

V.

[Guest guest]

,

I'm so sorry to hear about Katelyn's frustration. I can't really offer anything

you probably don't already know, but I can just imagine how sad you must feel

knowing that all your daughter wanted was a picture. Communication is so huge

with these guys, I just hope I can find a good way for Kennedy to communicate

before she gets to school. Good luck with the meeting, it does sound like you

have a supportive school staff, maybe you can all come up with something other

than the restraints (it sounds awful). I'll be thinking about you...

Mom to Kennedy 21 mos old CHARGEr, 10, 8, and wife to Graeme

New Brunswick, Canada

Visit the " Weir homepage " at: http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/5716

ICQ #1426476

behaviors.

Hi all,

Just needed someone to bounce things off and you all are the best

resources I have. My daughter has had some behavior problems. She had a

day from hell last Friday. She was hitting and pinching and going after

poeple. It was to the point that the school didn't have any idea how to

help her calm down. I guess to put it mildly she was out of control.

This information was passed on to the superintendent of schools. Her

teachers and I have a regular scheduled Thurday morning meeting. He will

be attending the next one. I am feeling so bad that I will meet this man

for the first time because my daughter is misbehaving.

The one thing that he wants me to do is sign a paper that will consent to

physical restraint. I am so against this. I feel that there are other

ways. We have been working with a psyc. Katelyn does have a behavior

plan. I know that the school is trying and using the plan. I have talked

with her psyc and she has some information to offer them. She will also be

at the meeting via telephone.

Do any of you have information about physical retraints consents? Am I

over reacting?

The sad thing about all of this is that Katelyn was trying to tell her

teachers the entire time what she wanted. I was talking to one of her

teachers this evening and she asked if anything happened before she came

to school. After talking to my husband. I realized that he took away her

house pictures away from her before she went to school. This made her so

upset. She was signing House at school. It is amazing how hard the world

is . All she wanted was a house picture. She was telling us and we didn't

understand. Poor child.

thank for the open ear.

Katelyn(9) CHARGE, Jenna(4), Shayna(2)

---------------------------

[Guest guest]

,

This is Betsy from DB-LINK. Just some thoughts… I wonder if the IEP team

could really focus on developing positive behavioral support instead of

restraint. For example, could the Team try to figure out ways that your

daughter could get to a “safe place” when she is beginning to lose it? I’m

sure that the school folks are worried about keeping her safe and keeping

other children and staff safe. If Katelyn could learn to move to a safe

corner or sit in a safe chair or something, then maybe everyone could take a

breath and try to figure out what she is attempting to communicate.

Attention also needs to be given to helping her develop lots of ways to

communicate. Are either you or your husband available by phone to help fill

in the missing pieces during one of these communication breakdowns?

DB-LINK has information about positive behavioral support, other approaches

to behavior and communication. We also may be able to help the team locate

a consultant with some expertise in this area, even for a phone or e-mail

consult. Please get in touch if you think we can help. You can e-mail me

or call . Any member of Katelyn’s team can contact us, also.

Happy Thanksgiving. I hope things get better.

Betsy

Betsy L. McGinnity

Information Specialist

Perkins DB-LINK

mcginnityb@...

[Guest guest]

Bonnie,

I did try the kitchen sink the other night to no avail, I thought it might work

but was wrong... I think with Kennedy I should do the opposite of what I think

sometimes!!!

Mom to Kennedy 22 mos old CHARGEr, 10, 8, and wife to Graeme

New Brunswick, Canada

Visit the " Weir homepage " at: http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/5716

ICQ #1426476

Re: behaviors.

From: TURK22082@...

,

Once in a blue moon Patty used to be afraid of the tub and especially the

pool. She did love to play in the kitchen sink, especially with bubbles in

it. The more she played in the sink, the easier it was to get her into the

tub. Also, it hurts her when water gets in her ears. Cotton balls helped.

But with tubes and the way her ears are now, she wears molds to bathe and

swim. We never let her get water in her ears.

The thing about feeling better in a confined area was also true for us.

It took years for her to be in a pool by her own volition. And then even

today she stays near the sides. She often bathed with her sister when they

were little, with her being in the back of the tub. Also, I have to admit,

when she was a baby till she was around two we sometimes bathed her in the

kitchen sink. Of course we made sure the sink was sterile first. And, it

was only seldom done so she wouldn't expect it.

Bonnie

---------------------------

[Guest guest]

Bonnie,

I did try the kitchen sink the other night to no avail, I thought it might work

but was wrong... I think with Kennedy I should do the opposite of what I think

sometimes!!!

Mom to Kennedy 22 mos old CHARGEr, 10, 8, and wife to Graeme

New Brunswick, Canada

Visit the " Weir homepage " at: http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Palms/5716

ICQ #1426476

Re: behaviors.

From: TURK22082@...

,

Once in a blue moon Patty used to be afraid of the tub and especially the

pool. She did love to play in the kitchen sink, especially with bubbles in

it. The more she played in the sink, the easier it was to get her into the

tub. Also, it hurts her when water gets in her ears. Cotton balls helped.

But with tubes and the way her ears are now, she wears molds to bathe and

swim. We never let her get water in her ears.

The thing about feeling better in a confined area was also true for us.

It took years for her to be in a pool by her own volition. And then even

today she stays near the sides. She often bathed with her sister when they

were little, with her being in the back of the tub. Also, I have to admit,

when she was a baby till she was around two we sometimes bathed her in the

kitchen sink. Of course we made sure the sink was sterile first. And, it

was only seldom done so she wouldn't expect it.

Bonnie

---------------------------