Re: last night...

[Guest guest]

Hi Jay,

You said:

<<was out with some people and this one guy who is a pharmacist

asked how i was doing. he knows about the paxil. i told him the

vitamins i was taking were helping and when i stopped them i felt

it. he started pushing my head and saying maybe this is all in

your head. and i said i dont think so. and he said i think so.

maybe some of this is my fault because through this whole

experience i have repressed as much as possible to keep

relationships. maybe it would have been better if i showed it

more. but, i have always wanted people to like me. so people

see me out and dont think much is wrong. but, if i hadnt

repressed it i dont think anyone would hang out with me. but,

now when i say how bad it was they think im exaggerating.

i really should have said stuff like my brain feels like its on

fire and i need to leave-- it hurts way too much to even sit

here. i am too hypersensitive and the agitation is overwhelming.

but, i would just sit there and try to distract myself and act

happy.

maybe i should start doing that now. its still pretty painful.

any suggestions? >>

***First of all, this guy sounds like a real jerk, pressing on

your head like that and invalidating something that is really

important to you.. If you want to continue hanging out with him,

just for someone to hang out with, don't bother trying to explain

things. He doesn't want to hear it.

The issue of whether or not to talk about these withdrawal and

recovery issues is a tough one for all of us. Most people out

there don't know a thing about it, and they embrace Western

medicine's viewpoint. They're not likely to believe you, and

they're likely to think you're a little nuts when you talk about

it. After all, the symptoms can sound bizarre, and if you were

on those medications, doesn' that mean you're a little wrong in

the head?

Obviously, that is not my view of the issue, but it is the view

of most people.

I rarely tell people what I've been through. If I come across

someone who is on these drugs and who sounds like they might be

open to a different viewpoint, I readily share what I know

without bringing myself into it. I used to tell my story if I

thought it would make a difference to someone, but I found that

most of the time it took away my credibility instead of adding to

it. 99% of the time, sharing the information and offering

compassion is enough. The information about my past is only for

my very closest, most trusted friends. It isn't anyone else's

business.

If you feel a need to offer some kind of explanation for wanting

to leave early or whatever, you might tell people quietly that

you have some chronic health issues and leave it at that.

There is a difference between repressing information that is

likely to be misunderstood, like the antidepressant issue, and

repressing everything about yourself. You can share thoughts

about the things you like doing, the ideas you find interesting,

your opinions about things that are going on in the world. This

is how people get to know you. When they share these things with

you, they give you the information you need to decide how they

fit into your life.

Hugs,

Kim

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.8.7 - Release Date: 2/10/05

[Guest guest]

thats good advice. i was only telling people to vent the frustrations and to

let them know in case they or someone they know was going to take the drugs. i

think i got one person to not take them by just telling my story. but, the rest

of the people really dont care. from now on i will just keep my name out of it.

as far as the person that pushed on my head. i'll do the same thing when he's

telling us something that we all think might just be him. and he'll get the

message. i have had a couple people try to be physically imposing to me since

this has happened. i dont know why. never happened before. but, if you dont

stand up for yourself they wont respect you. you just cant play the nice guy

role.

as far as this guy, i dont hang out with him that much. he is a friend of a

friend.

so i dont see him that much.

and that night i went out. i finally talked to the friend that cheated on his

girlfriend with my friend. that i sort of had a crush on. and he knew about

the crush. i waited aboutn 2 months just to see if he would tell me. which i

figured would be the right thing to do. he didnt because he was scared of how i

would react. it went well, he is one of those people that tries to validate

everything he does and wont admit when he is wrong. but, he finally said after

a half an hour of talking about it that he would be hurt if that happened to

him. and thats all i needed to hear. so that went well.

and this last day. i dont know if i have healed a bit, the vitamins, or more so

i think i figured out how to shut off any anxiety thinking. but, i have felt a

somewhat calm. maybe i just stopped caring and finally stopped putting pressure

on myself, but its nice. if thats the case, it took long enough. but, thats

the way i have always been. not trying to be like that, just a habit that i do.

my mother is worse then me so i could see where it could possibly come from.

jason

- In Withdrawal_and_Recovery , " " <kdenise@r...>

wrote:

> Hi Jay,

>

> You said:

>

>

>

> <<was out with some people and this one guy who is a pharmacist

> asked how i was doing. he knows about the paxil. i told him the

> vitamins i was taking were helping and when i stopped them i felt

> it. he started pushing my head and saying maybe this is all in

> your head. and i said i dont think so. and he said i think so.

>

> maybe some of this is my fault because through this whole

> experience i have repressed as much as possible to keep

> relationships. maybe it would have been better if i showed it

> more. but, i have always wanted people to like me. so people

> see me out and dont think much is wrong. but, if i hadnt

> repressed it i dont think anyone would hang out with me. but,

> now when i say how bad it was they think im exaggerating.

>

> i really should have said stuff like my brain feels like its on

> fire and i need to leave-- it hurts way too much to even sit

> here. i am too hypersensitive and the agitation is overwhelming.

> but, i would just sit there and try to distract myself and act

> happy.

> maybe i should start doing that now. its still pretty painful.

> any suggestions? >>

>

>

> ***First of all, this guy sounds like a real jerk, pressing on

> your head like that and invalidating something that is really

> important to you.. If you want to continue hanging out with him,

> just for someone to hang out with, don't bother trying to explain

> things. He doesn't want to hear it.

>

>

> The issue of whether or not to talk about these withdrawal and

> recovery issues is a tough one for all of us. Most people out

> there don't know a thing about it, and they embrace Western

> medicine's viewpoint. They're not likely to believe you, and

> they're likely to think you're a little nuts when you talk about

> it. After all, the symptoms can sound bizarre, and if you were

> on those medications, doesn' that mean you're a little wrong in

> the head?

>

> Obviously, that is not my view of the issue, but it is the view

> of most people.

>

> I rarely tell people what I've been through. If I come across

> someone who is on these drugs and who sounds like they might be

> open to a different viewpoint, I readily share what I know

> without bringing myself into it. I used to tell my story if I

> thought it would make a difference to someone, but I found that

> most of the time it took away my credibility instead of adding to

> it. 99% of the time, sharing the information and offering

> compassion is enough. The information about my past is only for

> my very closest, most trusted friends. It isn't anyone else's

> business.

>

> If you feel a need to offer some kind of explanation for wanting

> to leave early or whatever, you might tell people quietly that

> you have some chronic health issues and leave it at that.

>

> There is a difference between repressing information that is

> likely to be misunderstood, like the antidepressant issue, and

> repressing everything about yourself. You can share thoughts

> about the things you like doing, the ideas you find interesting,

> your opinions about things that are going on in the world. This

> is how people get to know you. When they share these things with

> you, they give you the information you need to decide how they

> fit into your life.

>

> Hugs,

> Kim

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> --

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.8.7 - Release Date: 2/10/05

[Guest guest]

<<and this last day. i dont know if i have healed a bit, the

vitamins, or more so i think i figured out how to shut off any

anxiety thinking. but, i have felt a somewhat calm. maybe i

just stopped caring and finally stopped putting pressure on

myself, but its nice. if thats the case, it took long enough.

but, thats the way i have always been. not trying to be like

that, just a habit that i do. my mother is worse then me so i

could see where it could possibly come from.>>

, this makes my whole day! You are healing AND you are

becoming your own person. It pleases me no end.

It's true that we get these emotional behaviors and patterns from

our parents. Even when we look at our parents and say to

ourselves, " Wow, that is so dysfunctional and aggravating, " we

find ourselves doing the very same things. I've been very

deliberately working on such things for about five years, and I

keep finding new layers of my parents' influence in my own

thoughts and reactions. Some of the ways of reacting that I have

always considered most deeply to be " me " are turning out to be

exact replicas of my parents. It's fascinating.

I have been making a practice of very deliberately looking at any

of my actions and reactions, and thinking, " Is this in line with

my philosophy of living? " Often, the answer is no. It can be

quite painful to admit that I'm behaving in such a way, but I

feel better for doing so. I am also finding that it can take

quite a long time to change some of these things, but with time

and effort they DO change, and I feel more and more in command of

my own being. It's very liberating, and I find myself with

increasing confidence in my own abilities.

Wishing a wonderful day to wonderful you!

Kim

--

No virus found in this outgoing message.

Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.8.7 - Release Date: 2/10/05

[Guest guest]

it was just one of those moments where you feel a bit of calm, it wasnt me. but

i have accepted it, well nobody will ever totally accept it i think. but, i

dont really fight it anymore. it took me about two years. i went through all

those stages when something tramatic happens to you: anger, etc...

its kind of funny in a way because i went to a psychologist that told me all i

was feeling was anxiety and then they give me drugs that makes me feel a lot of

things that arent anxiety. it makes your anxiety worse and makes you more

anxious.

also you do pick up so much from your parents. but, if you can see yourself

somewhat from an outside perspective and be critical of yourself. you can

overcome negetive patterns, possibly. i have always been willing to do that. i

just dont think i or most people are mature enough to do that until they are 22

plus. if they have really made a habit of something and they are still getting

by with it. thats what got me in so much trouble, i just wasnt ready to let go

of some of my patterns. i wasnt ready to let go of the excitment, control my

thought patterns brought.

- In Withdrawal_and_Recovery , " " <kdenise@r...>

wrote:

> <<and this last day. i dont know if i have healed a bit, the

> vitamins, or more so i think i figured out how to shut off any

> anxiety thinking. but, i have felt a somewhat calm. maybe i

> just stopped caring and finally stopped putting pressure on

> myself, but its nice. if thats the case, it took long enough.

> but, thats the way i have always been. not trying to be like

> that, just a habit that i do. my mother is worse then me so i

> could see where it could possibly come from.>>

>

>

> , this makes my whole day! You are healing AND you are

> becoming your own person. It pleases me no end.

>

>

> It's true that we get these emotional behaviors and patterns from

> our parents. Even when we look at our parents and say to

> ourselves, " Wow, that is so dysfunctional and aggravating, " we

> find ourselves doing the very same things. I've been very

> deliberately working on such things for about five years, and I

> keep finding new layers of my parents' influence in my own

> thoughts and reactions. Some of the ways of reacting that I have

> always considered most deeply to be " me " are turning out to be

> exact replicas of my parents. It's fascinating.

>

> I have been making a practice of very deliberately looking at any

> of my actions and reactions, and thinking, " Is this in line with

> my philosophy of living? " Often, the answer is no. It can be

> quite painful to admit that I'm behaving in such a way, but I

> feel better for doing so. I am also finding that it can take

> quite a long time to change some of these things, but with time

> and effort they DO change, and I feel more and more in command of

> my own being. It's very liberating, and I find myself with

> increasing confidence in my own abilities.

>

> Wishing a wonderful day to wonderful you!

>

> Kim

>

>

>

>

>

> --

> No virus found in this outgoing message.

> Checked by AVG Anti-Virus.

> Version: 7.0.300 / Virus Database: 265.8.7 - Release Date: 2/10/05