Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

November 18, 2011

You're not rambling. Not at all. I think part of this problem is what you said, people don't realize how deep this goes and how anxious and upset we get. And it doesn't go away. I can find ways to control it, some of the times, but not always. Also, stress is a factor. I find if I'm tired, or under stress it is much worse.

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Fri, November 18, 2011 7:33:07 PMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

The problem is that it is hard to be a good sister when I feel she is making me crazy with her noises and I am thinking mean thoughts about her when she is making noise. The flip between rage then guilt for feeling it makes me crazy. The other day a good friend of mine in a tragic situation (boyfriend in coma) came to say and she was crying so much and sniffing and I kept thinking "please blow your nose", then felt bad for thinking this when she is in pain. Aah!

But actually if I am anywhere near a person cracking gum I want to kill them and my brain tells me this is the most disgusting and rude thing to do. Luckily in Indonesia, no one chews gum, only my students and I can tell them to stop. When I went to the us the gum situation made me crazy. So now I am contradicting myself in saying it doesn't matter who makes the noise. If it is a stranger or someone close to me, if I feel trapped by the sound the level of rage is the same. The problem with people who are close to me and know my condition, they don't actually get how deep the problem goes and that it never ends and they may find it amusing or else annoying that I keep saying stuff to them to try and get them to stop. My family still jokes how when I was a teenager I always used to say to my brother (a heavy breather), "hey dan" (he would look up) "just checking to see if you are awake"..just so he would stop breathing for a moment. They don't know

that I still want to say it 20 years later, it's only more bearable because I don't have to live with them anymore...or stay at the table until everyone finishes eating, or other types of hell that misophonic children have to put up with when no one understands the condition at a time in your life that you have no real control over your life ("when you live under my roof, you follow my rules" was what mum used to yell at me when I would try and escape the misery of family meals. Apparently I was a spoilt teenager in her eyes...ah the sweet memories of youth).

Sorry, rambling.

So I don't care if I know the gum popper or not, I still want to slap them. I would love that idea of a card to hand out...but would feel a bit silly which is weird that my concern about how I would appear to others even exists when inside my head I am close to insanity.

Sent from my iPhone

Katrina, you sound like a very good sister because you find a way to be with with her where you both benefit from the visit, and not go crazy. I agree that the feeling of being trapped with the sounds is one of the worst feeling that sets off those triggers.

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Fri, November 18, 2011 8:34:57 AMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

I definitely agree that the people closest to me bother me more, especially when I live with them because there is no escape. It is that feeling of being trapped with the sound that is the worst - I set up my life so I can escape as quickly as possible (earphones on me all the time). When I have a house guest then they annoy me immediately, and it's terrible. I feel so guilty and then angry and then guilty again. My sister came to stay with me because she was in trouble and she knows about my misophonia (we shared a room as kids when it all began and she is still traumatized by my angry reaction to her snoring) - and even though I wanted to look after her as she needed help, I could barely look at her when she scraped her fork on her teeth or hummed unconsciously. I prefer it, even if we live together, if we spend time together outside of the house, and no matter

how tired I am after work, I will suggest we go out to a cafe so that I can contain my rage (a quiet cafe) and then when we go home, I can go to my room guilt free.

My boyfriend's noises don't bother me, thank god - he sometimes breathes heavily so I imitate his breathing and he stops. Or when he sucks his teeth after eating (a very Indonesian habit - he is Indonesian - and the reason I hate going out to local restaurants) I look at him and he says sorry and because he reacts in a nice way to my craziness, I can calm down. Luckily for me he is an extremely patient and kind man and very tolerant. When he puts his hand over my ear as soon as the dog next door starts barking, I just love him so much. I think that when you have misophonia,, or the fact that someone is quiet, chews quietly, doesn't snore etc, and then the fact that they take it seriously and really try to understand, is enough for them not to enter the "everything you do makes me feel crazy" stage, like I have with my dad. It's a shame because I love my dad so much, but

I just can't be around him to eat with him, or drink - cause he is a slurper.

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 8:51 PMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

I definitely have outside triggers, but I have to say that the people closest to me bother me more. But, I wonder if it's because we can't always "get away" from the people living in our homes, so that would trigger more offending sounds??? I wonder if these same people that seem to not bother us would be bothersome if we lived with them? I wonder....

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thu, November 17, 2011 9:47:06 PMSubject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

My annoyance very much depends on the source. Gum chewing by my mother would drive me out of the room, or to rudely ask her to spit it out....but if a pretty girl sitting behind me in school was chewing gum, it was a soothing chant of some kind. This is common for me. Sometimes I'm more agitated when I feel like I can "get away with" getting angry with them. You can't really yell at strangers, and you don't have to deal with them for extended periods of time.

November 18, 2011

SOmeone said:

(Didn't copy this from the original poster so I'm not sure who wrote it.)

" I needed to be able to hear the guide as well. It felt like the woman was

following me around because she kept ending up next to me as we walked.

Her stupid gum-cracking was drowning out the tour guide and I was so

enraged it took all my self-control not to punch her. I tried glaring at

her, but all the woman did was look at me blankly and continue to crack

her gum! Argh!! "

Do you think that if a similar thing were to happen again that, by having

participated in this mailing list, you might possibly be able to say

something to the woman about how her gum chewing was preventing you from

being able to pay attention to the guide?

I like the idea of making up a little card that one could hand to someone.

It seems like it would certainly be easier to do that than to say

something out loud. I've actually thought pof doing something similar in

the past - though not with respect to these issues but rather regarding

smoking and young people. :-) Actually - I see that I was also thinking

about it WRT misophonia. (mentioned towards the bottom of this message)

Ah, I've just found a file I had started back in September but never

posted and then wasn't sure on which computer I had it... I am pasting it

below.

-----------

Similar to other recent joiners of this list, I only just discovered

through the New York Times/Today Show stories that there is a term for

something I have been experiencing since childhood.

I thought I had a severe case of this, yet, after seeing what others have

posted, I feel that my case is relatively mild. And for most situations

where I am apt to encounter one of these triggers, I generally have a

recourse, namely - escape. (If I could neither escape nor block out sound,

I don't know what I would do!) As at least one person mentioned, I also

feel lucky that when I was going to school, kids were just not allowed to

chew gum or eat in class. I don't think anyone even ever thought of doing

such things. If many schools are now banning peanut butter products

because of the kids who have allergies, it seems that with pressure, they

could also be urged/forced to ban gum and food from classrooms once again.

After coming across the recent coverage, I was trying to remember what

first became irritating to me. I remember when I was 10 going to visit a

family across the country for a month who had a daughter near my age. For

at least the first two weeks, I was able to stay there and share a room

with her without problem. But somewhere maybe in the third week, I

started not being able to sleep because I was hearing her snore. After a

couple or more days, I complained and they were nice enough to make her

brother move into her room and give me a room to myself. To this day,

there is no way in the world, no matter how tired I might be, that I can

possibly sleep in a room if I cannot block out any breathing/snoring

sounds with earplugs. And I've certainly spent my share of miserable

nights when staying in hostels or group cabins - like preferring to sleep

(well, trying to) outside on a picnic table in temperatures around 10

degrees because of someone's snoring. Or sleeping (again, trying to...)

on the floor in a hall or bathroom because of similar issues...

Around the same time, I remember being driven crazy in school by one

particular girl who was always sniffling. I know I would turn around and

give her dirty looks, not that it helped. I couldn't believe that no one

else seemed perturbed. And, looking back, I'm amazed that she's about the

only person I can recall who was annoying to me in school.

And I don't think I distinguish between who is making the sounds: it's

just the sounds themselves I can't tolerate. I don't feel rage at the

people making them. I just have to stop hearing the sounds however

possible.

I wonder how printing out a little card might help, saying something like:

Does the occasional screech of chalk on a blackboard drive you crazy?

The sound of gum chewing and popping affects me in about the same way -

only it does not come in one short burst, but can last for hours. PLEASE

don't chew gum in my presence.

Please search the internet for the term " Misophonia " to find out about

this condition.

November 18, 2011

I have asked people in movie theatres to stop talking during the show, though almost everyone is bothered by them anyway. The one time I asked a woman behind me at a play to stop popping her gum, she complied partially. I could still hear it in her mouth, but by that time I was totally focused on her. We can ask people who are making blatantly offensive noises to stop, but when the sounds are only picked up by me and no one else, I would feel like I'd hung a sign on my forehead that said PSYCHO. I say that with some humor...

Have any of you ever tried politely asking someone (strangers I mean) to stop making the noise? (I haven't). I wonder how it would go over?I have fantasized about it, but never have the guts because well mostly I have always thought I ws crazy. I guess it depends on the person. I swear I think we need to have little business cards made with a blurb about our disorder so we can jsut hand them to the offender and say can you please help me? () Kaci Anne McCall Professional FACE PAINTING, personalized crafts, and more! Please visit:http://www.MysticalRainbowCreations.com "What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind. Each face in the rainbow of colors that populate our world is precious and special." ~ Dees

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 2:09 PM Subject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

Okay, a lot of people have been saying that certain people are worse triggers for them than others. It doesn't seem to be true for me. I've found that total strangers are just as bad, if not worse, for me. Maybe because I can ask a family member to stop what they're doing but not a stranger. The difference ends up being that I can get upset with someone close to me, but I get enraged when it's a stranger. One example that always comes to mind is the time I was on a college tour with my daughter and son. This one woman was loudly cracking her gum during the whole thing. I moved as far away from her as possible, which was difficult because she was near the tour guide and I needed to be able to hear the guide as well. It felt like the woman was following me around because she kept ending up next to me as we walked. Her stupid gum-cracking was drowning out the tour guide and I was so enraged it took all my self-control not to punch her. I tried glaring at her, but all the woman did was look at me blankly and continue to crack her gum! Argh!!

>

> The whole control idea makes a lot of sense. I'm gonna do some research and see what i can come up with.

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >

> Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 9:34 AM

> Subject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

>

> Ã‚

> I definitely agree that the people closest to me bother me more, especially when I live with them because there is no escape. Ã‚ It is that feeling of being trapped with the sound that is the worst - I set up my life so I can escape as quickly as possible (earphones on me all the time). Ã‚ When I have a house guest then they annoy me immediately, and it's terrible. Ã‚ I feel so guilty and then angry and then guilty again. Ã‚ My sister came to stay with me because she was in trouble and she knows about my misophonia (we shared a room as kids when it all began and she is still traumatized by my angry reaction to her snoring) - and even though I wanted to look after her as she needed help, I could barely look at her when she scraped her fork on her teeth or hummed unconsciously. Ã‚ I prefer it, even if we live together, if we spend time together outside of the house, and no matter how tired I am after work, I will suggest we go

out to a cafe so that I can

> contain my rage (a quiet cafe) and then when we go home, I can go to my room guilt free.

>

> My boyfriend's noises don't bother me, thank god - he sometimes breathes heavily so I imitate his breathing and he stops. Ã‚ Or when he sucks his teeth after eating (a very Indonesian habit - he is Indonesian - and the reason I hate going out to local restaurants) I look at him and he says sorry and because he reacts in a nice way to my craziness, I can calm down. Luckily for me he is an extremely patient and kind man and very tolerant. Ã‚ When he puts his hand over my ear as soon as the dog next door starts barking, I just love him so much. Ã‚ I think that when you have misophonia,, or the fact that someone is quiet, chews quietly, doesn't snore etc, and then the fact that they take it seriously and really try to understand, is enough for them not to enter the "everything you do makes me feel crazy" stage, like I have with my dad. Ã‚ It's a shame because I love my dad so much, but I just can't be around him to eat with him, or

drink - cause he is a slurper.

>

> From: Paris

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 8:51 PM

> Subject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

>

> Ã‚

> I definitely have outside triggers, but I have to say that the people closest to me bother me more.Ã‚ But, I wonder if it's because we can't always "get away" from the people living in our homes, so that would trigger more offending sounds???Ã‚ I wonder if these same people that seem to not bother us would be bothersome if we lived with them? I wonder....

>

> ________________________________

>

> To: Soundsensitivity

> Sent: Thu, November 17, 2011 9:47:06 PM

> Subject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

>

> Ã‚

> My annoyance very much depends on the source. Gum chewing by my mother would drive me out of the room, or to rudely ask her to spit it out....but if a pretty girl sitting behind me in school was chewing gum, it was a soothing chant of some kind.

>

> This is common for me. Sometimes I'm more agitated when I feel like I can "get away with" getting angry with them. You can't really yell at strangers, and you don't have to deal with them for extended periods of time.

>

November 18, 2011

I would be afraid of asking because I would be afraid they might do it all the more. And, when I get to the point that I hear them, I am focused in on that person waiting for the next sound.

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Fri, November 18, 2011 8:27:21 PMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

I have asked people in movie theatres to stop talking during the show, though almost everyone is bothered by them anyway. The one time I asked a woman behind me at a play to stop popping her gum, she complied partially. I could still hear it in her mouth, but by that time I was totally focused on her. We can ask people who are making blatantly offensive noises to stop, but when the sounds are only picked up by me and no one else, I would feel like I'd hung a sign on my forehead that said PSYCHO. I say that with some humor...

Have any of you ever tried politely asking someone (strangers I mean) to stop making the noise? (I haven't). I wonder how it would go over?I have fantasized about it, but never have the guts because well mostly I have always thought I ws crazy. I guess it depends on the person. I swear I think we need to have little business cards made with a blurb about our disorder so we can jsut hand them to the offender and say can you please help me? ()

Kaci Anne McCall

Professional FACE PAINTING, personalized crafts, and more! Please visit:

http://www.MysticalRainbowCreations.com

"What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind.

Each face in the rainbow of colors that populate our world is precious and special." ~ Dees

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 2:09 PMSubject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

Okay, a lot of people have been saying that certain people are worse triggers for them than others. It doesn't seem to be true for me. I've found that total strangers are just as bad, if not worse, for me. Maybe because I can ask a family member to stop what they're doing but not a stranger. The difference ends up being that I can get upset with someone close to me, but I get enraged when it's a stranger. One example that always comes to mind is the time I was on a college tour with my daughter and son. This one woman was loudly cracking her gum during the whole thing. I moved as far away from her as possible, which was difficult because she was near the tour guide and I needed to be able to hear the guide as well. It felt like the woman was following me around because she kept ending up next to me as we walked. Her stupid gum-cracking was drowning out the tour guide and I was so enraged it took all my self-control not to punch her. I tried glaring

at her, but all the woman did was look at me blankly and continue to crack her gum! Argh!!>> The whole control idea makes a lot of sense. I'm gonna do some research and see what i can come up with. > > > > ________________________________> > To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >> Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 9:34 AM> Subject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> > > Ã‚ > I definitely agree that the people closest to me bother me more, especially when I live with them because there is no escape. Ã‚ It is that feeling of being trapped with the sound that is the worst - I set up my life so I can escape as quickly as possible (earphones on me all the time). Ã‚ When I have a house guest then they annoy me immediately, and

it's terrible. Ã‚ I feel so guilty and then angry and then guilty again. Ã‚ My sister came to stay with me because she was in trouble and she knows about my misophonia (we shared a room as kids when it all began and she is still traumatized by my angry reaction to her snoring) - and even though I wanted to look after her as she needed help, I could barely look at her when she scraped her fork on her teeth or hummed unconsciously. Ã‚ I prefer it, even if we live together, if we spend time together outside of the house, and no matter how tired I am after work, I will suggest we go out to a cafe so that I can> contain my rage (a quiet cafe) and then when we go home, I can go to my room guilt free.> > My boyfriend's noises don't bother me, thank god - he sometimes breathes heavily so I imitate his breathing and he stops. Ã‚ Or when he sucks his teeth after eating (a very Indonesian habit - he is Indonesian - and the

reason I hate going out to local restaurants) I look at him and he says sorry and because he reacts in a nice way to my craziness, I can calm down. Luckily for me he is an extremely patient and kind man and very tolerant. Ã‚ When he puts his hand over my ear as soon as the dog next door starts barking, I just love him so much. Ã‚ I think that when you have misophonia,, or the fact that someone is quiet, chews quietly, doesn't snore etc, and then the fact that they take it seriously and really try to understand, is enough for them not to enter the "everything you do makes me feel crazy" stage, like I have with my dad. Ã‚ It's a shame because I love my dad so much, but I just can't be around him to eat with him, or drink - cause he is a slurper.> > From: Paris > To: Soundsensitivity > Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 8:51 PM> Subject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> > > Ã‚ > I definitely have outside triggers, but I have to say that the people closest to me bother me more.Ã‚ But, I wonder if it's because we can't always "get away" from the people living in our homes, so that would trigger more offending sounds???Ã‚ I wonder if these same people that seem to not bother us would be bothersome if we lived with them? I wonder....> > > > > ________________________________> > To: Soundsensitivity > Sent: Thu, November 17, 2011 9:47:06 PM> Subject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> > Ã‚ > My annoyance very much depends on the source. Gum chewing by my mother would drive me out of the room, or to rudely ask her to spit it out....but if a pretty girl sitting behind me in school was chewing gum, it was a soothing chant of some kind. > > This is common for me. Sometimes I'm more agitated when I feel like I can "get away with" getting angry with them. You can't really yell at strangers, and you don't have to deal with them for extended periods of

time.>

November 19, 2011

Yes, that's exactly what happens. I become so totally focused on the sound that I can't hear anything but the sound. And the more focused I become, the more the rage builds until I feel I am going to explode. It is a horrible way to have to live.

I would be afraid of asking because I would be afraid they might do it all the more. And, when I get to the point that I hear them, I am focused in on that person waiting for the next sound.

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Fri, November 18, 2011 8:27:21 PMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

I have asked people in movie theatres to stop talking during the show, though almost everyone is bothered by them anyway. The one time I asked a woman behind me at a play to stop popping her gum, she complied partially. I could still hear it in her mouth, but by that time I was totally focused on her. We can ask people who are making blatantly offensive noises to stop, but when the sounds are only picked up by me and no one else, I would feel like I'd hung a sign on my forehead that said PSYCHO. I say that with some humor...

Have any of you ever tried politely asking someone (strangers I mean) to stop making the noise? (I haven't). I wonder how it would go over?I have fantasized about it, but never have the guts because well mostly I have always thought I ws crazy. I guess it depends on the person. I swear I think we need to have little business cards made with a blurb about our disorder so we can jsut hand them to the offender and say can you please help me? ()

Kaci Anne McCall

Professional FACE PAINTING, personalized crafts, and more! Please visit:

http://www.MysticalRainbowCreations.com

"What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind.

Each face in the rainbow of colors that populate our world is precious and special." ~ Dees

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 2:09 PMSubject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

Okay, a lot of people have been saying that certain people are worse triggers for them than others. It doesn't seem to be true for me. I've found that total strangers are just as bad, if not worse, for me. Maybe because I can ask a family member to stop what they're doing but not a stranger. The difference ends up being that I can get upset with someone close to me, but I get enraged when it's a stranger. One example that always comes to mind is the time I was on a college tour with my daughter and son. This one woman was loudly cracking her gum during the whole thing. I moved as far away from her as possible, which was difficult because she was near the tour guide and I needed to be able to hear the guide as well. It felt like the woman was following me around because she kept ending up next to me as we walked. Her stupid gum-cracking was drowning out the tour guide and I was so enraged it took all my self-control not to punch her. I tried glaring

at her, but all the woman did was look at me blankly and continue to crack her gum! Argh!!>> The whole control idea makes a lot of sense. I'm gonna do some research and see what i can come up with. > > > > ________________________________> > To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >> Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 9:34 AM> Subject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> > > Ã‚ > I definitely agree that the people closest to me bother me more, especially when I live with them because there is no escape. Ã‚ It is that feeling of being trapped with the sound that is the worst - I set up my life so I can escape as quickly as possible (earphones on me all the time). Ã‚ When I have a house guest then they annoy me immediately, and

it's terrible. Ã‚ I feel so guilty and then angry and then guilty again. Ã‚ My sister came to stay with me because she was in trouble and she knows about my misophonia (we shared a room as kids when it all began and she is still traumatized by my angry reaction to her snoring) - and even though I wanted to look after her as she needed help, I could barely look at her when she scraped her fork on her teeth or hummed unconsciously. Ã‚ I prefer it, even if we live together, if we spend time together outside of the house, and no matter how tired I am after work, I will suggest we go out to a cafe so that I can> contain my rage (a quiet cafe) and then when we go home, I can go to my room guilt free.> > My boyfriend's noises don't bother me, thank god - he sometimes breathes heavily so I imitate his breathing and he stops. Ã‚ Or when he sucks his teeth after eating (a very Indonesian habit - he is Indonesian - and the

reason I hate going out to local restaurants) I look at him and he says sorry and because he reacts in a nice way to my craziness, I can calm down. Luckily for me he is an extremely patient and kind man and very tolerant. Ã‚ When he puts his hand over my ear as soon as the dog next door starts barking, I just love him so much. Ã‚ I think that when you have misophonia,, or the fact that someone is quiet, chews quietly, doesn't snore etc, and then the fact that they take it seriously and really try to understand, is enough for them not to enter the "everything you do makes me feel crazy" stage, like I have with my dad. Ã‚ It's a shame because I love my dad so much, but I just can't be around him to eat with him, or drink - cause he is a slurper.> > From: Paris > To: Soundsensitivity > Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 8:51 PM> Subject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> > > Ã‚ > I definitely have outside triggers, but I have to say that the people closest to me bother me more.Ã‚ But, I wonder if it's because we can't always "get away" from the people living in our homes, so that would trigger more offending sounds???Ã‚ I wonder if these same people that seem to not bother us would be bothersome if we lived with them? I wonder....> > > > > ________________________________> > To: Soundsensitivity > Sent: Thu, November 17, 2011 9:47:06 PM> Subject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> > Ã‚ > My annoyance very much depends on the source. Gum chewing by my mother would drive me out of the room, or to rudely ask her to spit it out....but if a pretty girl sitting behind me in school was chewing gum, it was a soothing chant of some kind. > > This is common for me. Sometimes I'm more agitated when I feel like I can "get away with" getting angry with them. You can't really yell at strangers, and you don't have to deal with them for extended periods of

time.>

November 19, 2011

I think that's why the people we live with might bother us the most. Because we know they make sounds that upset us, and the anticipation is so stressful.

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Sat, November 19, 2011 2:29:06 AMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

Yes, that's exactly what happens. I become so totally focused on the sound that I can't hear anything but the sound. And the more focused I become, the more the rage builds until I feel I am going to explode. It is a horrible way to have to live.

I would be afraid of asking because I would be afraid they might do it all the more. And, when I get to the point that I hear them, I am focused in on that person waiting for the next sound.

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Fri, November 18, 2011 8:27:21 PMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

I have asked people in movie theatres to stop talking during the show, though almost everyone is bothered by them anyway. The one time I asked a woman behind me at a play to stop popping her gum, she complied partially. I could still hear it in her mouth, but by that time I was totally focused on her. We can ask people who are making blatantly offensive noises to stop, but when the sounds are only picked up by me and no one else, I would feel like I'd hung a sign on my forehead that said PSYCHO. I say that with some humor...

Have any of you ever tried politely asking someone (strangers I mean) to stop making the noise? (I haven't). I wonder how it would go over?I have fantasized about it, but never have the guts because well mostly I have always thought I ws crazy. I guess it depends on the person. I swear I think we need to have little business cards made with a blurb about our disorder so we can jsut hand them to the offender and say can you please help me? ()

Kaci Anne McCall

Professional FACE PAINTING, personalized crafts, and more! Please visit:

http://www.MysticalRainbowCreations.com

"What a privilege to be here on the planet to contribute your unique donation to humankind.

Each face in the rainbow of colors that populate our world is precious and special." ~ Dees

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 2:09 PMSubject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

Okay, a lot of people have been saying that certain people are worse triggers for them than others. It doesn't seem to be true for me. I've found that total strangers are just as bad, if not worse, for me. Maybe because I can ask a family member to stop what they're doing but not a stranger. The difference ends up being that I can get upset with someone close to me, but I get enraged when it's a stranger. One example that always comes to mind is the time I was on a college tour with my daughter and son. This one woman was loudly cracking her gum during the whole thing. I moved as far away from her as possible, which was difficult because she was near the tour guide and I needed to be able to hear the guide as well. It felt like the woman was following me around because she kept ending up next to me as we walked. Her stupid gum-cracking was drowning out the tour guide and I was so enraged it took all my self-control not to punch her. I tried glaring

at her, but all the woman did was look at me blankly and continue to crack her gum! Argh!!>> The whole control idea makes a lot of sense. I'm gonna do some research and see what i can come up with. > > > > ________________________________> > To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >> Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 9:34 AM> Subject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> >

> Ã‚ > I definitely agree that the people closest to me bother me more, especially when I live with them because there is no escape. Ã‚ It is that feeling of being trapped with the sound that is the worst - I set up my life so I can escape as quickly as possible (earphones on me all the time). Ã‚ When I have a house guest then they annoy me immediately, and it's terrible. Ã‚ I feel so guilty and then angry and then guilty again. Ã‚ My sister came to stay with me because she was in trouble and she knows about my misophonia (we shared a room as kids when it all began and she is still traumatized by my angry reaction to her snoring) - and even though I wanted to look after her as she needed help, I could barely look at her when she scraped her fork on her teeth or hummed unconsciously. Ã‚ I prefer it, even if we live together, if we spend time together outside of the house, and no matter how tired I am after

work, I will suggest we go out to a cafe so that I can> contain my rage (a quiet cafe) and then when we go home, I can go to my room guilt free.> > My boyfriend's noises don't bother me, thank god - he sometimes breathes heavily so I imitate his breathing and he stops. Ã‚ Or when he sucks his teeth after eating (a very Indonesian habit - he is Indonesian - and the reason I hate going out to local restaurants) I look at him and he says sorry and because he reacts in a nice way to my craziness, I can calm down. Luckily for me he is an extremely patient and kind man and very tolerant. Ã‚ When he puts his hand over my ear as soon as the dog next door starts barking, I just love him so much. Ã‚ I think that when you have misophonia,, or the fact that someone is quiet, chews quietly, doesn't snore etc, and then the fact that they take it seriously and really try to understand, is enough for them not to enter the "everything

you do makes me feel crazy" stage, like I have with my dad. Ã‚ It's a shame because I love my dad so much, but I just can't be around him to eat with him, or drink - cause he is a slurper.> > From: Paris > To: Soundsensitivity > Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 8:51 PM> Subject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> > > Ã‚ > I definitely have outside triggers, but I have to say that the people

closest to me bother me more.Ã‚ But, I wonder if it's because we can't always "get away" from the people living in our homes, so that would trigger more offending sounds???Ã‚ I wonder if these same people that seem to not bother us would be bothersome if we lived with them? I wonder....> > > > > ________________________________> > To: Soundsensitivity > Sent: Thu, November 17, 2011 9:47:06 PM> Subject: Re: Does your

annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?> > Ã‚ > My annoyance very much depends on the source. Gum chewing by my mother would drive me out of the room, or to rudely ask her to spit it out....but if a pretty girl sitting behind me in school was chewing gum, it was a soothing chant of some kind. > > This is common for me. Sometimes I'm more agitated when I feel like I can "get away with" getting angry with them. You can't really yell at strangers, and you don't have to deal with them for extended periods of time.>

I think

November 19, 2011

I have definately made my husband notice the noises he didn't before. Poor guy. He knows sounds that he knows will bother me the same time i do. I feel bad about that, but i know it is him just trying to be sympathetic.

To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 8:10 PMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

Kaci, that makes sense because we know their habits and anticipate them.

To: "Soundsensitivity " <Soundsensitivity >Sent: Fri, November 18, 2011 10:40:31 AMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

Yep I noticed this when my kids were babies and little, it was like OMG a human is eating and I'm OKAY?!!!! YES! Sadly as they get older, that magic bubble shrinks and pops. My poor 9 year old, if I had a dollar for everytime I said 'Devin, your mouth!'...it scares me that I am training him to pay attention to chewing noises ()

But I def am not immune to being annoyed at strangers, depending on the severity of their 'crime' it can have me near tears or violence....but maybe it is stronger with our loved ones because we have to hear their same habits day after day after day and there is no escape really. With a stranger we in the back of our mind somewhere understand that when they go away, they will be gone and we will survive this moment, and hopefully they will too ()

Kaci Anne McCall

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To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 5:55 AMSubject: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?

If only we could always float around in that cloud of infatuation, soaked to the gills with oxytocin! Sigh!That would be a great cure.>> We've talked about the "honeymoon" stage of people we date and they don't trigger us for awhile. What is utter fascinating to me is when I first start dating someone I tell myself to pay attention to how they eat so I don't later get annoyed. Then the meal starts and at the end I try to recollect and it's as though they hadn't eaten a bite. I cannot conjure up not one memory of their eating. Fascinating! The only caveats are: 1) super gross eating, and 2) I don't really like them that much anyway, under those conditions I notice their eating. It's like the oxytocin that comes

with infatuation renders me entirely deaf to their chewing. It's absolutely amazing!!!> Heidi> > Sent from my iPhone

November 19, 2011

I have to agree with the stress factor as well. I'm on adderall (which increases anxiety and your whole sympathetic nervous system - fight or flight responses) 2 days a week. and the days that i take that medication, im a freaking mess. everyone hates me b/c i can literally hear everything!! I take the meds to help study b/c i have ADD and it really does help w/ school (i went from all f's w/o it to all a's and a 4.0 gpa in college) but i have to study in a really loud place, like a starbucks w/ music, or the cafeteria w/ tons of people b/c it creates some sort of ambiance. If i try to study in the library, forget it, there's always some idiot chewing gum or eating they're lunch and i want to kill them. But the days that i don't take my med's it's not nearly as bad, maybe it's that i can control my

anger better when i'm not on my med's or tired. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Friday, November 18, 2011 8:53 PMSubject: Re: Re: Does your annoyance depend on who the person is making the noise?