Guest guest Posted January 10, 2005 Report Share Posted January 10, 2005 I feel like my perception of life and the world, how I view it has been changed or altered and it's extremely uncomfortable. I agree, Tonya. It was an awful feeling for the first couple of years, but now I've sort of settled into being whoever Paxil turned me into. "Blind Reason" a novel of pharmaceutical intrigue Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. It's Unsafe At Any Dose Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2005 Report Share Posted January 10, 2005 Hi Tonya, Those times you feel normal will get longer and longer it's like coming out of the fog coming alive again it just takes time. Hugs Ros Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2005 Report Share Posted January 10, 2005 Glitter said I agree, Tonya. It was an awful feeling for the first couple of years, but now I've sort of settled into being whoever Paxil turned me into. I agree with you also, I am whoever paxil turned me into, not the person i used to know. I think about her every now and again but i guess she's lost but not forgotten.I have to say tho that this has taught me more than i ever wanted to know it opened my eyes to a whole different world. Ros Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2005 Report Share Posted January 10, 2005 Yes, Glitter, that makes perfect sense. It feels like I've started another life and have " died " from that last life. That's how disconnected the two feel. This feels permanent, and I get scared when I read people talk of this happening for years. I won't even have my one year anniversary from Effexor until the end of March. How many years will this take? I feel like my perception of life and the world, how I view it has been changed or altered and it's extremely uncomfortable. Sorry to sound like such a downer. Tonya > Dear Tonya: I still have siimilar feelings. > Sometimes it feels like I'm > trying to impersonate the person I used to be, that > I'm no longer that person and > the things I remember about my life before Paxil > didn't happen to the person > I am now, but to some other person who isn't me any > longer. Does that make > sense?? ===== __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2005 Report Share Posted January 10, 2005 Thanks for " talking " me through this, Glitter! If I'll eventually become comfortable with it, then I guess that's ok. What really bothers me is that it's not a constant feeling. I have it maybe half of the day, then I'll feel normal or as close to it as possible. That's a cruel tease for me. So when the derealization happens again, it's worse than it would be if I'd been feeling it constantly all along. Did I make any sense? Lol I've been disoriented lately. Thanks again, Tonya > I agree, Tonya. It was an awful feeling for the > first couple of years, but > now I've sort of settled into being whoever Paxil > turned me into. > > " Blind Reason " > a novel of pharmaceutical intrigue > Think your antidepressant is safe? Think again. > It's > Unsafe At Any Dose ===== __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 10, 2005 Report Share Posted January 10, 2005 Tonya - for me, it wasn't until 1.5 yrs ago when I started healing work with a shaman that I began to integrate my 'selves' and perceptions. What we study and experience is an attention to 'right now' without the story behind it all. So when I'm in the thick of it and feeling really bad, it's kind of up to me to practice finding a way to peace (using the tools I've learned). Sometimes I'm still the victim, helpless and can't pick up a finger to save myself - and that's just my healing edge. Again - it's the same as everything here - like Kim's post recently. By taking some control & responsibility over my life & what goes into my body especially - I gain confidence and begin to experience healing, a little more and more each time. A post like this from you is just wonderful and perfect because I hear the self-awareness you have of how you're feeling, how far you've come, and where you're headed. That's fantastic stuff! *grin* For me in those early years I employed a LOT of cognitive behavioral techniques w/ flower essences to work through my anxieties. At this point, when I stumble over my words, speak slowly, stare off, and just in general sound-like-a-doofus, I find that soft place in me where it's all okay, I'm still love, and I'm still loved. Breathe deeply little grasshopper... =) Take good care, Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2005 Report Share Posted January 11, 2005 Ros, thanks for your continued reassurance! Today, I had about a half an hour of fog-free thinking. The world and all of life felt as normal as it should! I did a miniscule little chore - washing dishes - and tired myself out. And then, the fog rolled in again. Another teaser. But the fact that I was able to feel that normal thinking should mean that it's not gone for good, right? Anyway, thanks again! Tonya --- drheemer1@... wrote: > Hi Tonya, > Those times you feel normal will get longer and > longer it's like coming out > of the fog coming alive again it just takes time. > Hugs Ros > ===== __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 11, 2005 Report Share Posted January 11, 2005 Hi Tonya, One step at a time ,it all starts with baby steps.I remember the breaks in the fog it started with glimpses then it got to be an hour then 2 then it went to three then half a day then i was living more out of it than in it.When i got the breaks i would try to do something try to acomplish something no matter how small and i would be so proud of myself.When the fog came back in i would be lost staring at the wall or crying because i couldnt think. I was getting the zaps pretty bad at that time.And couldn't walk with the pain in my feet.It was a nightmare.Time, thats what it takes time.Hold onto the time you have clear times because you are going to have more of that your coming back. Hugs Ros Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted January 16, 2005 Report Share Posted January 16, 2005 Whee! Thank you for your nice thank you Tonya. =) I think that's wild that you're already seeing a shaman, and that we have that in common. If your gal is anything like my guy, she might just find these physical experiences as something not to be believed or focused on. In other words - there's such powerful levels and ways of healing that aren't in the physical realm that the shaman says (in my opinion) that the attn. is more properly put where the healing might most profoundly effect (the spiritual & emotional realms). ... At least this is how I interpret my shaman's take on things. As for kundalini experiences, sure! See I believe many of us go through a 'reforging' of some shield in our lives. We call it a nervous or psychotic break if the shield is of the mind - or a major illness for a physical shield. There's massive grief in the emotional shield, and dissociation in the spiritual shield. Having the opportunity however (here's the reframe), to 'recast' one or more of our shields - actually causes the shield to strengthen. We're stronger after the reforging - when we get on the other side of our " mental & emotional breakdown " , for the most part - we're stronger. Sweeping generalizations of a shamanic theory aside, I do believe there's something in this journey for all of us. There's something jewel-like in it all. Of course there's little choice in the matter when we look about at the shattered pieces of our shield and go OH MY GOSH!!!! Either reforge, or what? Heh... --- Tonya McHugh wrote: > > , thank you! > I need all the encouragement I can get, and all the > positive success stories. > I actually do go see a shaman! It's not on a regular > basis, as money's tight. I don't think she quite > understands how I feel though. I think maybe she > thinks of this as a sort of kundalini (sp?) > experience. > *shrugs* > I do learn relaxation techniques from her though. > > {A post like this from you is just wonderful and > perfect because I hear the self-awareness you have of > how you're feeling, how far you've come, and where > you're headed. That's fantastic stuff! *grin*} > ** wonderful feedback. Thank you! > > {For me in those early years I employed a LOT of > cognitive behavioral techniques w/ flower essences to > work through my anxieties.} > ** I've just ordered my first flower essence from a > link provided - chamomile. I'm anxious to > start using it. > > {Breathe deeply little grasshopper...} > **my shaman is ALWAYS reminding me to breathe > correctly. > > Thank you for your support! > Tonya > > > > ===== > > > > > > > __________________________________ > Do you Yahoo!? > Yahoo! Mail - now with 250MB free storage. Learn more. > http://info.mail.yahoo.com/mail_250 > > > > __________________________________________________ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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