Sounds make me crazy

[Guest guest]

Hi there,I have suffered from misophonia since I was a kid - I used to drive my family crazy because at every meal time I would pick a fight so I could leave the table - my sister scraped the spoon her teeth, my brother breathed extra heavily while eating, my mum's jaw clicked - every meal time was like hell for me and it kind of started to shape people's impression of me - I didn't know to explain that there was actually nothing I could about being annoyed by these sounds. Kids I sat next to in class now have hang ups about breathing heavily or sniffing as I would make constant comments about it. I hate going to the movies as there is too much popcorn chewing, I hate watching people's mouths as they chew gum, I can't stand dogs and cats and the noises they make and I have found that the list of noises

increases every year. Like after spending a week in a room next to a rooster, now I can't stand the sound of a rooster, and I moved house and live beside a house with a rooster, as well as a mosque (I am now living in Jakarta) so i actually spend all of my time in my room with music up really loud or the TV blasting so that I don't hear the noises that annoy me. I first met a woman who also suffers from teh same thing 1 year ago, and it made me think that maybe it was a serious condition - no one else can understand the anger I feel when I am stuck next to one of hte many million noises I can't stand - and I can't shut off the anger. And that is when I started googling and found that other people suffer the same thing. If there was a pill I could take, I would take it - i always wished I was deaf so i didn't have to hear these noises. I have coping strategies like carrying headphones with me everywhere and I turn on this

sleepstream application on my iphone when the mosque/rooster wake me up in the morning. I have a very understanding boyfriend. I have had to stop many relationships because they ate with their mouth open or snored or sniffed or something - it was always the end for me. That is so strange, right? But my boyfriend now is lovely and quiet. A really big concern for me is that we want to have kids but what if the sound of a baby crying starts to make me feel crazy? I know that he is concerned about it as well as I have explained it to him and he knows how angry and horrible I feel when I am near one of the trigger noises and knows to make hasty exits or move tables or whatever when he sees my face. Anyway, sorry I am waffling as I have never been able to express myself to people that understand, well only once in my 35 years, so I have all of this craziness trapped inside me.

ThanksTreen