Forgiveness

[Guest guest]

Hi Carol,

That was beautifully explained. I get it now. And thank you for sharing what

has happened with you and your children. Sounds like we are going through very

similar stories, only mine isnt with my children, its with my Sister, Mother and

Brother & Fam.

See this is what happened with me. I left home when I was 19, my younger Sister

was only 9. Back then everything was fine between us. I upped and moved to

America at the age of 22, and stayed living in America until 24, and then moved

to Germany, but had stopped in England for about a month to spend sometime with

my parents. I lived in Germany for about two years and then boom back to the

States for several years. During this time we had got stationed at Ft.

in Georgia for four years. My oldest Brother Rob lived down in Florida at Ft.

Walton Beach. He's retired Airforce, and has a wife and two kids. Both of the

kids are older now and have moved out, but at the time of living there, their

daughter was only about 10 years old. Me and my husband would make trips down

there often to see them, as it was only a five hour drive for us. Well when we

would visit them, my daughter would try to play with her cousin Terisa,

but Terisa was a very spoiled bratt, and was always mean to . She used to

talk back to her parents and scream at them, and was just really horrible to

deal with. And her Mother would just let her act that way. She was turning into

a rough child. As to where my Jess was raised to respect us, and do what she was

told, and wore dresses and her hair always done. She was a quiet polite young

lady. My Brother was embarrassed at the situation and when we talked about it,

he told me that his wife won't let him correct Terisa, and everytime he trys she

threatens to leave him. And he didnt want that, so in the result, their daughter

was turning into a wild mess. I would try to talk to his wife Pat about it, but

her attitude was well I was a wild child who didnt listen so why should my

daughter. Me and Rob wasnt raised like that though, we had to do what we was

told and to show respect or we were done for. I tried to tell Pat (his wife) if

you don't sort her out now Pat, she is going to turn into a Monster as she gets

older. And she did! Well my parents had always had a problem with my Brother

being married to Pat because she had a history prior to their marriage of lets

just say not being much of a lady and sleeping around.

And my parents didnt want the marriage to happen and even refused to go to the

wedding or even let us kids attend it. But my brother loved her and didnt care.

I was only 12 when they had wed. I didnt really care about Pats past or her

history. I was happy for them. I just knew that my parents didnt approve of the

sitiuation. There was alot of bitterness over the years between Pat and my

parents, and alot of arguments arose because of the situation. They simply felt

like Pat wasnt good enough for their Son and felt like she was ruining him. As I

got older I became friends with my Sister in law and would visit them often when

they were stationed in England. We got along great at the time.

Well after a few years they had moved to the States, and so did I but in a

different area. I ran into some major problems and ended up having to go to

Texas to my Brothers house and lived with him for about two months until I could

get on my feet and get my own place. During those years in Texas me and my

brother and my sister in law all got along great too. I even went and watched

Terisa's birth. I also taught my Sister in law how to drive so that she could be

independant. After four years went by, they moved to South Carolina, and this

is when I moved to Germany for the first time.

Sorry if this story is confusing, and your probably wonder what all this has to

do with my Sister, but I'm getting there!

So I moved to Germany with my ex husband, things were not good between us. I

wasnt in love with him and I wanted a divorce. He was from England and I

ipromised that I would stay married to him long enough for him to get his green

card, because he wanted to live in America. I loved him more like a brother then

a husband.

So when we parted our ways, we were still friends, as we thought was best beings

we had two children together. ( & )

I met my current husband while I was in Germany, but at the time I had no idea

that he wouid become my future husband, as we were only friends at the time. But

after being

friends for awhile, he started flirting with me. After he left Germany for

Desert Storm he started writing to me and I wrote him back. He knew that I was

going to get divorced.

Me and my ex got stationed in Louisiana, and this is when I started the divorce

proceedings. I phoned my current husbands Mom to see if she had heard from her

Son as we had lost

contact through the weeks of me moving. I was just trying to see if he was ok,

but once I contacted her, she informed me that I had to come to Tx because her

Son was coming home and that he wanted to marry me. He came home, we got

engaged, got married and had two children together. After living in Texas for

five years, we got stationed in Georgia.

After living in Georgia for four years, I begged my husband to try to get

stationed in Germany again because I had missed my parents so much. And that I

hadnt been home in like 12 years.

We got stationed in Germany in 2000.

Once we got over here, I immediately went to England to be reunited with my

family. It was so wonderful to get to see everyone again. My younger Sister had

grown up, was married and had three daughters. The last time I had seen her was

only a pass through England, and she was like 12 at the time.

So it was so strange going home and seeing her so grown up. As at this time she

was like 26 years old. And I was 36. I was a tiny little thing, because in 1997

is when I got diagnosed with the Fibromyalgia. And I was truly ill. I was

determined to beat this monster and became a work out freak and lost alot of

weight, and I ate nothing but good food.

I had lost like forty pounds and by the time I got to England I was pretty fit

and petite, and looked pretty good, and I had felt the best I had ever felt in

my life.

Well, during Christmas of that year, me and my husband and children went to

England and had spent Christmas with my Mum and Dad. Everything was fine, me and

my Sister would talk often to each other. We both smoked and would go in my mums

back garden to smoke at the patio table. Her name is Keri.

It felt like she looked up to me at the time, and was constantly saying to me

how much we were alike, but also told me that she grew up jealous of me.

She told me that my parents was constantly saying through the years that Carol

was the pretty one of the family, and that she never felt pretty because of it.

I told her that I was sorry that they had done that to her, and that, that was

wrong of them to do so, and that I had hoped that she didnt hold that against

me, as I had no idea

that it was happening. Well after living over here for a few years, I went home

to England often to see my Mum. My Dad had passed away in 2001. He had Diabetes

pretty severly

and lost both of his legs because of the disease. It was right after the second

leg removal that my father had a heart attack and passed away. During all of

these visits home one thing that I

definately noticed how me and my Sister are no way alike is that I'm very house

proud, and I keep my house very clean. She's not like that at all. Completely

the opposite which surprised me because our Mother has always been very house

proud. When I would go home, my Mum would complain to me alot about my Sister

saying to me that Keri never helps her with anything. And my Sister would

complain to me about my Mother saying that my Mother was bad mouthing her to

everyone in town.

When I would go home for visits I was constantly cutting my Mum grass and

redoing the gardening, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and doing all of

the cooking. It was certainly never a vacation going home. It was hard work, but

I didnt mind, because a huge part of me felt guilty for not living in England to

be there for my Mother. So when I would go home, I would work my fingers to the

bone for her. My Sister would make comments to me when she would come over to

visit and say things like your just a regular Cinderella arent you, and I don't

know why you

do all of this shit for Mum she doesnt appreciate anything ever.

I would say to my Sister, listen Keri, you don't realize how lucky you are to

have Mum in your life everyday and get to have your children grow up getting to

spend time with their granmother. I said you should do more for Mum and

appreciate what you have here. And I explained to her how I felt guilty for not

living in England to be there for my Mum all the time.

My Mother is getting pretty old now, and she had been through alot in her

lifetime. She had lung and brain cancer at the age of 46, went through

Chemotherapy and Radiation treatments. Somehow my Mother survived through it

all, but it left her body a weak mess. She ended up wheelchair bound, and not

all of her hair grew back. And the older she got the more forgetful she would

get. There was times I would go home to England and my Mums grass would be like

three feet tall. It angered me that my Sister never took the time to come over

to help my Mum.

Specially beings she lived in the same town and only a mile down the road. But

here was me and my husband driving all the way across Germany, all the way

across Belgium and down through France to get on the Ferry to get home to

England to do all of these things for my Mum, because I knew that she couldnt do

it.

During all of these times, my Sister was working for the town council. She would

say things to me like Mum doesnt deserve to have this big house, she should be

living in a small flat, and she would tell me how she wouldnt mind having that

house and would wink at me. I would shutter at the very thought of my younger

Sister thinking so evil. Well a couple of years had passed by, and my Mum phoned

me up one day and said can you come home to move me out of my house as Keri has

found me somewhere else to live. I had a minivan at the time, and my Mother knew

that I would do anything for her. I said well how come Keri isnt helping you and

she told me that Keri doesnt have the time.

Once I got to England I started packing her stuff. All kinds of knick knacks and

pottery.. There was alot! I still hadnt seen the new place yet. I packed my van

up with the first load and got the key to the new place from my Mum and headed

over there. This was my first look on the new place. Once I got inside I

instantly realized that there was no way my mothers furniture would fit the

place. Not even her refridgerator. And she couldnt even go out into the back

garden because there was a huge drop down and my Mum was in a wheelchair.

Instead of unpacking, I went and got my mum and brought her over to the new

place and started asking her where she was going to put everything. She

instantly realized that her diningroom furniture wouldnt fit in the place, and I

knew that she loved her diningroom furniture. It was all true antiques that she

had taken care of for years and years. Once she realized she said there is no

way Im moving into this place. You see, this was a type of Old folks community

where they had a 24hr call button incase they needed help. My Sister was trying

to shut my Mother away and to get her out of that house. It was apparent that

she wasnt really interested in what was best for my Mum. Well she got angry with

me because of all of this, and told me things like well Mum is getting older now

she should give up some of her things. But I told her that she was being

ridiculous and that Mum shouldnt have to give up anything of hers if she doesnt

want to. It seemed like she got over it after awhile and we were getting along

again. We would talk here and there. I told her about all of the issues with

Robs daughter Terisa, and how she used to act around , and that Jess and

Terisa didnt get along because of it. That was a huge mistake telling her any of

this. Also I had been recieving phone calls from my Sister in law looking for

advice because she told me that Terisa was becoming completely out of control,

and that Terisa had said to her such things like I wish you was dead. And that

she also crashed Pats new car which she forbid Terisa to drive, but Terisa was

doing whatever she wanted and didnt care. Terisa eventually ended up moving out

of her parents home, and told her parents (my brother and wife) that she had

moved in with her girlfriend. It was all a lie. She moved in with a guy that was

ten years older then her. She ended up getting pregnant at the age of 16, and my

brother wasnt happy about it, because the guy was black, and that he used drugs.

But Terisa did what she wanted so there was nothing my Brother could do about

it.

Well also during this time period my Sister was married to a guy named Matt.

Matt didnt really treat Keri right. He was working in London, and half the time

not coming home at night, and would tell Keri that the trains wasnt running. We

all had a feeling that he was cheating on her. He eventually left her and the

girls for a another woman.

I felt really bad for her and would talk to her on the phone alot, after a few

months she started going out and seeing other guys. Some alot older, some alot

younger and one of them was even married. I didnt judge her as I knew that she

was scared of being alone, and going through a rough time from it all.

Well I was also going through a horrible time period in my life. Our men from

our Unit was deployed to Iraq. I was the Family Readiness Group Leader for my

husbands company.

It was a terrible time for our Unit. We were losing men left and right in Iraq.

We were having Memorials for Fallen Soldiers every single week. I was having to

keep all of the wives in the company spirits up. I was in charge of holding

monthly meetings to keep them informed of how the guys are doing and what has

been going on in Iraq. I was in charge of different events for the wives back

here to keep them busy to help the time pass by. I was sending out emails like

four to five times a week with any info as to what is happening in our

communitry, as well as taking care of personal issues of anyone of the wives,

and dreadfully having to send out the emails about every fallen soldier as they

occurred. It was a horrible time period for everyone of us wives back here.

One of the wives name was Buchan. Her husband had come home on leave for

two weeks and during the time he was home, we had gone over to their house for

something, I can't even remember now, but the guys had a beer together while me

and chit chatted. It was a nice visit and we promised to all get together

more often once this deployment was over.

Well about two weeks later after that visit, I got a phone call from my husbands

comander telling me that SGT Buchan just got killed downrange by a roadside

bomb.

I was having to take care of and her kids as well as take care of my own

family. She was so messed up from losing her husband that all she could do was

cry and drink vodka.

She had two little boys. And for the next three weeks while the Army was trying

to get things processed and help her get sent back to the states with her

household stuff and help her take care of funeral arrangements, we were also

dealing with other fallen angels in our company. It really made me realize how

much danger my husband was in, and I had my own extreme fears of losing him

every single day, but i had to keep it together for the sake of the women in the

company. It was hard. I was also working as the meat manager at our local

commisary. So I was a very busy woman with no time for myself at all. My life

consisted of only taking care of everyone else all the time. But I didnt mind,

this is just the way I have always been.

Well I was pretty stressed out, everytime the phone rang it scared me. I was

having nightmares of men dressed up in Dress Greens showing up on my door. Which

would only mean one thing. I can't even tell you how much our post was on edge

because of losing so many Soldiers.

Well in the heart of all of this tragedy, I was also talking to my Sister here

and there on the phone about this guy or that guy that she had been seeing. We

were still getting along fine at this point. I told her, Keri, you should join

(Myspace). I said who knows you might meet someone on there, I said alot of

people are meeting people online these days.

Well she joined, and about two weeks later she phoned me to tell me that she met

someone. I was happy for her, but she continued to tell me that he was against

the war, and against president bush, and didnt like the fact that the war in

iraq was taking place. She explained to me that he was alot younger then her. I

told her that kind of worrys me that he's so anti bush and all beings that was

what our family basically stood for. My Father was Airforce for 21 years. My

Brother had been Airforce for 20 years, my other brother who passed away a

long time ago was army, and I was married to an Army Soldier. She told me not to

worry that she was certain he would never say anything against us or to us about

his beliefs.

Was she ever wrong about that.

About a week later, I had a friend request on Myspace from her new boyfriend. I

knew it was him from the picture that she had recently sent to me so I gladly

accepted the invite. The very next day he posted a long blog on myspace of his

view on the war in Iraq. He called the American Soldiers cold blooded murderers

and put down the Americans saying that they are just killing for oil and that

they were all stupid like president bush. And that the Americans were not

patriotic people and all kinds of American bashing statements. And anti troop

statements.

I was horrified to read it, and I was horrified to think that this was who my

younger Sister was dating.

He added at the bottom of the blog, comment if you wish. And a few young teenage

girls had commented on his page praising him at how wonderful he is and how

intelligent he is.

It discusted me. I commented on the blog. All I wrote was (what a load of crap).

After that, he commented back saying that I was stupid. He called me a fat cow

and all sorts of nasty things.

My oldest Son had seen that I was upset and when they found out why, they went

on the myspace and on to his blog and wrote, you don't know who your dealing

with, and explained to him that their mother has to deal with this war every

single day taking care of families and seeing them lose their loved ones to this

war. And that he simply didnt know what he was talking about.

The arguement got out of hand and he threatened my Son, and also told my

daughter that she was a stupid whore just like her Mother. He also wrote on

there that my Mother should have swallowed instead of giving birth to me...

Well instead of my Sister telling her new young boyfriend that was a year

younger then my oldest Son mind you, to shut up and that this was her Sister

that he was bad mouthing... She instead stuck up for him and started bad

mouthing me on the net too. She told everyone that I was trying to pick and

choose her boyfreinds for her and that I was trying to push my views on the war

on her. All lies....

She got in touch with our Brother and Sister in law in florida too, and told

them the same story. Which is ridiculous, I havent even lived in the same

country as my Sister since I was young. And I'm the one that told her to get on

Myspace in the first place so that she could find someone.

She wrote really terrible things about me on the Internet for everyone in the

world to see. I could not believe that this was my very own Sister doing this to

me. And it was right in the middle of this deployment where I knew that I could

lose my own husband any given day. I was mortified to say the least.

It got worse, she has written stuff on there about some things that had happened

in my past, she was trying to destroy my marriage on top of everything else by

writing on there about a mistake I had made in the past years. See me and my

husband went through a time where we was not getting along at all, and our

marriage almost came to an end. He was threatening to leave me, and I was

devistated at the time and took comfort in another mans arms which was a huge

mistake on my part. After a little while I had realized that I had to save my

marriage because it was my husband I had loved, not any other man.

But my Sister knew about it and decided to write about that on the net too. My

oldest daughter had seen it and threatened her, that if she didnt take

that stuff off of the net that she would infact drive to England herself to come

after her and beat the living crap out of her. My Sister took it off of the net,

but the nastyness didnt end there.

I phoned my mum to tell her what my Sister was doing, along with her boyfriend.

And I stopped talking to my sister all together.

A few months had passed, my daughter was working for School age services, and

was up late every night working on these work sheets that had to be turned in

the next day.

I was sitting at my computer working on FRG emails, and Jess was behind me on

her laptop working on her job. The next thing I know, Jess says OMG, come and

look at this.

Her cousin Terisa signed in on Yahoo, and said hello Jess remember me. and Jess

said yes of course. Terisa said so how are you doing, and Jess said Im fine

thanks, but hey listen I really don't have time to chat right now. I'm working

and I have to get this stuff done. It was like one in the morning, and she had

to be up at six and she was no where near finished.

Then Terisa proceeds to write oh you think that your too good to talk to me and

dont have the time, but you have all the time in the world to put down Aunt Keri

and treat her like shit right.

Jess replied with Terisa, you don't know what your talking about, and I

certainly dont have time to talk to you let alone argue with you.

Terisa kept on, she called alot of names and even threatened her that

she was gonna kick her ass one day for everything that she's done to Keri.

You see Keri, knowing that and Terisa didnt get along because of the

stories I had told her about the past, and knew that if she lied to Terisa that

she could turn Terisa on us.

Once I seen that Terisa was saying all of these horrible things to Jess I got

online and told Terrisa off for it, and said that she needed to stay out of this

fight between me and my Sister and that she needed to work on her own self. She

called me a whore and alot of other horrible things and also threatened me too.

I told her she was nothing but pondscum. Jess told her off pretty good too, and

said some pretty horrible things like her children are the fruits of her drug

indulged life style and that its not her fault that Terisa was so messed up that

she couldnt even be bother to graduate school... She got really mean with

Terisa, but it was a retalliation thing as she was being attacked out of no

where over something that had nothing to do with Terisa. It was the first time

that she had even heard from her cousin in like six or seven years.

Well somehow this turned into Pat (My Sister In Law) believing that I called her

granchildren Mistakes.... Which I never did! I never called her grandchildren

anything, but this is what My Sister has made her believe. Well about a year had

passed and I was not having anything to do with any of them. It was too

stressful to deal with any of them. I had enough on my plate. My husband

returned safely from Iraq and life went on.

Then two years ago, I recieved a phone call from my Sister saying that our

Mother was in the hospital and that she didnt think that she was going to live.

That our family friend that used to come around the house to check on my

Mother found her on the livingroom floor passed out and turning blue. And that

she was in the hospital and that the doctors were informing my Sister that they

didnt think that my Mother would make it. Well my husband put in for emergency

leave and we went to England straight away. We arrived and my Mother was in a

coma. The doctors talked to me and told me that she was in critical condition

and because I was the oldest asked me if my Mother would want to live, and I

said yes of course. My Sister was annoyed that they had asked me instead of her

beings she's the one that lives in England, but from the way she treated my

Mother I'm glad that I had the say so in how my Mother was to be handled from

that moment on by the medical staff. Well with my husband on Emergency leave we

was allowed to stay in England for three weeks before he was due to return to

work. After we spent many hours up at the hospital I said to my husband lets go

back to my Mothers house so that we can change out of our clothes and freshen up

abit. As from Germany to my Mums its a 14 hour drive. I got to my Mums and the

house wreaked from where she had fell out of her wheel chair and something was

all over the floor. It smelled terrible. My Sister couldnt even have bothered to

clean it up. And I knew she had came to my Mums, because she took my Mothers Dog

to her house. So instantly me and my husband started cleaning the carpet and

everything else that needed cleaning. The night before we had left Germany, I

called England trying to reach my Sister. Her kids told me that she had gone to

Nana's house, so I called my Mums and Keri answered the phone. I could hear them

going through drawers and opening and shutting cubboards. I asked her what she

was doing and she told me that her and her boyfriend Steve are getting rid of a

bunch of expired food from my Mothers house. But, I knew better then that... I

don't know exactly what she was looking for, my first guess would be money.

By the time we had arrived and seen what a mess the place was, I walked into the

kitchen and instantly noticed that her boyfriend had broken one of the fake

drawers that sat beneath my Mums sink. He being new to the family probably didnt

know it was a drawer in the first place. Anyways everyday we were going to the

hospital, I told my husband that if I had run into my Sister that would be

civil with her because my Mother didnt need us fighting while she was fighting

for her life. I ran into her a couple of times at the hospital, and then after

being at my Mums house for a couple of days I asked her for Mums dog because the

house was so quiet and lifeless, i couldnt stand it. In the next few days,

between her and my Sister in law who is in the states in florida decided that

they were going to make all the calls around to the family we have all over the

world to inform them that Mum might pass away, they left me out of it completely

which I also took very offensively, beings I am ten years older then she is.

I didnt care what she thought, I made a few phones call of my own, and she

phoned me up about four days after being there and asked me if I could write

down the numbers to our family in Wales that she wanted to call them because she

said that she got free phone calls from her house. I said sure. Well me and my

husband drove down to the store to get some groceries for the house, and we

stopped by my Sisters house to drop off the numbers for her. Her oldest daughter

Riannon answered the door, but would only barely crack it open. She said Im

sorry my Mother isnt home right now, she has taken my younger Sister to

the doctors and she should be back in about twenty minutes, so I said Ok Riannon

well let us in.

She opened the door and apologysed for the house being such a mess. To be

honest, I have never seen anything so discusting before in my entire life. I'm

not exagerating either. There was dirty clothes everywhere, on the couch, on the

floor, there was dried up cat feces on the floor. The door that ajoined the

livngroom and kitchen was smashed in with a great big jagged whole in the middle

of it. I walked into the kitchen and there was dirty dishes everywhere that you

looked with most of them growing mold in them. There was bags of trash all over

the place, and little tanks with spiders and some with snakes in them. I couldnt

believe that this was my Sisters house. It truly was discusting. I felt like I

was in some drug addicts house that wasnt raised properly.

My husband refused to sit down when my niece cleaned the clothes off of the

couch. He said no its ok, thank you anyways, and gave me a look of horror. We

could hear noises upstairs and I said to my niece, who is upstairs and she said

Steve. He knew we were in the house, but was too chicken to even come down the

stairs.

I thought to myself yep,,, just another pansy that has big muscles behind a

keyboard and can talk rubbish about the American Soldiers but when actually

faced with one, he cowers up in his bedroom like a little boy. Pathetic.

My niece phoned her mother and told her that we were there, I could hear my

Sister say on the other end. WHAT,,, they are in our house? And Riannon said

yes, and Keri said OMG. Ok I'm on my way home now. She arrived at the house, and

I came outside and handed her the paper with the numbers on it and I asked if

was ok, and she said yes.

And then I left. My husband said to me in the car how can she be so dirty to

live like that. and I said I have no idea. My heart went out to her three

daughters because I felt sorry for them, and Riannons embarrassment ran through

my mind over and over again, I thought look what she is instilling into these

girls. Its terrible and its ashame.

We went back to the house, and everyday, I visited my Mother in the morning and

in the evenings. I would read to her from her favourite author Steel and

when I would leave, I would leave a cd of music playing for her, with some of

her favourite singers, like Barbara Streisand and a few others.

Also while we were there, and the times we wasnt at the hospital, me and my

husband decided to redo my Mums yard and plant flowers and trim the bushes, and

make everything really pretty for when she arrived home. We did all kinds of

things and spent alot of money on it. My Mums neighbors really liked me because

I was becoming known as the daughter that always drove home from Germany to help

my Mum, so all of her neighbors have alot of respect for me.

Well its was our last week there, and I knew that we had to leave soon. Some how

a miracle happened and my Mother came out of the coma. I told her that we had to

leave in just a few days but that we had already been there for two weeks. I

told her that I was reading to her every night and that i was trimming her nails

for her and that I redid her garden for when she came home. I made the mistake

on our last day of telling my Sister that I had to go home to Germany to help my

husband move our household goods, because we were going from one duty station in

germany to another, and I knew he wouldnt be able to handle it all himself

because we have so much stuff. Alot of breakables. Two days, after we arrived

back in Germany, My Mother neighbor down the road from us, her name is Dawn. she

called me up to tell me that my Sister was moving into my Mothers house as we

speak. I was horrified. I phoned my Sister and said what do you think your doing

Keri. She tried to give me this bullshit excuse that it only makes sense for her

to move in with Mum instead of me coming back from Germany.

I said if you move in with Mum, with all of your kids, animals, and your

boyfriend then where are we to stay when we want to come and visit Mum, and she

goes well I guess you will just have to stay here with us wont you. I said

there's not enough room Keri and you know it. I said your just wanting to live

off of Mums money, and get the house. I said you have never given a shit about

Mum, and she hung up on me.

Well My Mother eventually came home from the hospital, and like I said before

she is getting old and Im not sure if its alzheimer setting in or what or if its

from the Chemo, but she just doesnt seem to be as quick on her witz these days

and she forgets alot of stuff. My Sister has twisted my Mothers mind, and now my

Mum wants nothing to do with me either.

This breaks my heart, and like I said before. my oldest daughter just recently

got married and my Sister chucked away the invite so that My mother couldnt see

it.

My Mums neighbor Dawn told me that the two nurses that go into see my mother

every week told her that they wipe their feet on the way out of the house

instead of on the way in, so I know that my Sister has destroyed my Mothers

house now too. Since she has moved in, she has aquired two more dogs.. both

Huskeys...

My Mums old Friend talked to me on the phone the other day and told me

that he doesnt go around there anymore because he doesnt feel welcomed and he

said and to be honest Carol, the house stinks terrible now, so I dont like going

around there.

I just recently found out that I am becoming a granmother, and I can't even call

my own Mum to tell her, because when we tried two weeks ago. My husband is the

one that called the house and my Sister told My husband my Mothers not here, I

have her in an old folks home so that I can go on vacation. And then he said

well how do we get ahold of her, because Carol needs to talk to her, and she

told my Husband she wouldnt want to talk to Carol anyways beings she didnt even

bother to send her Mother a wedding invitation. Shane said to her your full of

shit Keri, what did you do with it? Throw it away, so you can turn Carols Mum

against her too? He told her, you really are a piece of shit Keri, its

unbelievable that your gonna marry some guy that is so against us Military and

yet your living there off of your Mother at 36 years old, who lives off of your

Fathers old airforce retirement check. He said you should be ashamed of

yourself, and then she told my husband that if he didnt shut up and if he thinks

that she's already done some damage that she will mess up our marriage too,

Shane said oh yeah and how do you plan on that one Keri. She said well I could

start off with all of Carols boyfriends that she has had over the years and how

she cheated on you just five years ago. But my husband shut her up. He said oh

well I guess you have failed in that attempt, because Carol already told me

about the affair and me and Carol was having problems back then, but nice try

scumbag.

Then after that phone call, she wrote on Facebook that she phoned the local

police and warned them that I might show up in England, and that she wanted them

to protect her house because she told them that I might come over there and

steal things out of my Mothers house, and she told them that I threatened her

life.

So she has made it so that My Mother doesnt have anything to do with me. She

wont let me have any contact with my Mum. She has turned my Brother and his wife

against us.

They believe that Keri is this poor Angel over there having to take care of our

Mother, when all she really wanted was my mums house, and to live rent free.

Ive even seen statements from her on Facebook where she's bitching about my

Mother.

So yeah thats the predictament Im in right now. I can't love someone like this.

I just can't. She's awful, and really whats its all for. All she has managed to

do is stop our family from being a family. And for what, because she was so

jealous of me all her life? or because I was the one that always wanted to help

my Mum and that she felt guiltry because she didnt?

I honestly can't even believe somedays that all of this is happening. I feel

like I'm having a night mare and that I just can't wake up from it.

I'm sorry this was soo soo long. If you was able to get through it all then God

Bless for caring enough to read it.

I also want to say to you all, Thank you so much for being my friend on here.

You guys are my family now, and maybe God let me find you because he knew that I

was going to go through this... who knows.

But I do appreciate each and everyone of you.

Love, Carol

Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2010 20:58:19 -0700

From: songofjoy22002@...

Subject: Forgiveness

To: CarolGowin@...

Hi Carol,

My name is Carol too. I read what you wrote about forgiving those who hurt you.

I have been teaching the Bible for about 25 years and would like to give you

some insight about what I have learned about forgiveness. It is NOT a feeling.

It is as easy as just saying the words out loud to God. ie....God, I

forgive_______ for the hurt they are causing me.The forgiveness isn't to benefit

them, but to benefit you ! God says if we can't forgive others, He can't forgive

us. It doesn't mean you ever have to have anything else to do with them, it just

means you are free from that burden. I have just recently gone through one of

the most horrific attacks from my own children I have ever had in my life with

anyone and I did absolutely nothing to them to provoke it. It just came out of

the blue. It hurt and yes I was angry, but with prayer and forgiving them, I am

doing great now and my relationship with my heavenly Father is deeper than

ever.I love my children, I forgive my children but I am done letting them hurt

me.They are out of my life until they change their hearts and sincerely treat me

with respect. I have no idea what is eating them and for the last ten years I

have tried and tried to reach out to them. Everything was good until I had a

liver transplant nine years ago and all of a sudden they turned their backs on

me and no more phone calls, Mother's day cards, invitations for the

holidays..etc. They have even turned my grandkids against me. Sometimes I think

it's because I didn't die and secretly maybe they had wanted me to. Anyway,

enough of my story. Just say aloud ( whether you feel it or not )........ " I

forgive ___________ for what she is doing and has done to hurt me. " There is a

scripture that says, " Lord, put to shame and confusion those who rise up against

me and let them wear a robe of confusion. " You are a child of the Most High God

and no weapon formed against you shall prosper. That is a promise from your

Father. He loves you very much and when the rubber meets the road, He's the only

one who really matters.

God Bless You Always and Forever,

Carol Hammons

[Guest guest]

What doesn't kill us...makes us stronger !

[Guest guest]

You're welcome.

God Bless and have a GR8 day !

Subject: Re: Forgiveness

To: fibromyalgiacured

Date: Saturday, August 28, 2010, 8:46 AM

 

Hi Dreamin

Thank you for that

Love Joanne

________________________________

To: fibromyalgiacured

Sent: Sat, 28 August, 2010 2:09:33

Subject: Forgiveness

 

What doesn't kill us...makes us stronger !