Losing job? - venting long

January 12, 2010

Hi everyone! I am kinda freaking out right now and just need to vent a little

I am a Registered Nurse at a local hospital. I went out on short term disability

(for the 2nd time in 2 years due to this illness) @ the end of July/beg. of Aug.

My STD is running out next week but I have been approved for long term

disability through my work's insurance co. I will receive 50% of my regular

salary. My boss at work has been VERY patient with me. But she has stated that

she can't hold my position forever and she just emailed me that she wants to

meet with me tomorrow to " talk about it " . I may very well lose my job tomorrow.

I don't know what I'm going to do. That will also mean losing my health

insurance? If anything,I am in worse shape than when I first went out of work. I

have all the fun joint issues now, have had a fever every day for 3 out of the

last 4 weeks. Tried Kineret, was starting to work I feel, then got rashes and

had to go off it. I just tried Enbrel. After 4 weeks of injections, I saw no

improvement so my rheum just had me stop it this week. I see him again in a few

weeks. In the meantime I'm on nothing except pain killers. I know I can't work

right now. But this is scaring the crap out of me. Last week my rheum said he is

less convinced now that I have Still's because the last 2 times we did my blood

work, my sed rate & crp were normal even though I was having fevers &

everything. Every other time I have had an episode in the last 2 years they were

always elevated! Plus now my half-sister has had a fever every day since Sept.!

Her docs can't figure out what's wrong with her either. (btw...I tested negative

for FMF & TRAPS). So the possibility that I have some other kind of genetic

fever syndrome is there. He said he just doesn't know who else he could send me

to, what other test I could have that I haven't already. I left the office

crying. I just don't know what I am supposed to do. I went through so much to

get where I am & now it's all slipping away. And there's not much I can do about

it. I can't even get a diagnosis! I'm totally frustrated atm. Thanks for reading

my whining! lol

Aubrey

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