Amy and any one feeling like there alone!

[Guest guest]

Amy:

When you said " I cry at night knowing I'm going to be alone the rest of my life

and die alone also take care all Amy "

 Man o man do I have an Idea how you feel! See years ago when I became ill with

stills my world feel apart as I knew it. I lost the one job that in my life I

had that I loved , I lost my marriage as my wife divorced me and she also kept

every thin even what the courts gave me what little that was. Here I was 41 sick

disabled not able to work had 45 cents to my name and an old truck along with

some clothing. Heck I was in debt over my head like you would not believe

because of the games my ex played I was fighting a divorce along with some other

legal problems like looking at 40 years in prison and 1 million dollar fine at

the lest just for two of the charges she had me arrested on . Now thankfully the

two charges were dropped in less then 24 hours but the rest I had to fight for

over 9 months right along with my divorce and trying to get SSDI! I so wanted to

give up and at one point I did. I did cry almost every night believe me I did

not only for me

and my pity party but for my kids and I was scared to death what was I going to

do then top it off who in there right mind would want an old disabled sick non

working redneck with no (okay I do have some) hair and bad teeth. I was screwed

as far as I saw it and well I felt the world would be better off with out me as

all I was, was a waist of good air some one other could use. well going forward

not much has changed I have a criminal record now , still can not work lost my

home based gun business thanks to my ex I am still a redneck and I am still

balding and I now have false teeth! but the greatest thing also happened along

this new path I have a wonderful wife who loves me for me and not the pay check

I used to bring home like my ex did. When my paychecks stopped she seemed to

also stop wanting me around and set me up for her divorce plan .Yes I said plan

as that came out later she had it all planed out and put it into action later .

I have some one I

share life with not just a room mate I tried to make my self believe would be

there for me as I would for them I now have that kind of wife and no toys no

money were needed just me being me was all I needed and she still loves me so

yes I found some one crazy and she loves me and come the 28th we will have been

married now for 3 years and been together for 5 years. Not long I know but they

are better and happier years then the same years with my ex believe me.

 so my message to you is yes I to felt like that but not for to long as

came along and showed me I was wrong in my thinking and she also showed me some

one can love you sick or not for you as a person and not what you have or how

much you can give them in material goods. Yes I was almost 50 before I found

what I now know is true love but I first had to learn how to love my self sick

or not again and that was the hardest part. I still am working on it each and

every day and along with it I find I keep falling in love deeper and deeper with

as I also learn how crazy she is to love me a crazy redneck who now

enjoys waiting that air I breath because it means I get to spend time with her

my grandbaby my son and her kids all gifts I would miss if I gave up or just

stopped livening and just went threw the motions!

Hugs and yes there is a better day just be willing to see it coming and keep

looking as along the way there is much to see and enjoy outside of the pain and

problems of stills!

  

the redneck

Marty G.