Re: (article) Growing up in an Asperger Family

[Guest guest]

On 7/3/2012 7:17 PM, Hardingham

wrote:

 

The first is stretch out your bottom lip, and see of you can

make it fit over your head.

The second is imagine you are constipated, and trying to pass

a whole watermelon. The watermelon has razor blades protruding

from it.

Another good comparison I've heard is the passing of a kidney

stone.  Especially for men, since their urethra is much longer than

a female's.  Those kidney stones are wicked sharp... and big, at

least when compared to the passage they must navigate to exit the

body.

I've witnessed male sufferers writhing on the floor with kidney

stone pain, and it's not pretty.  The pain is so severe that it is

often accompanied by nausea and diarrhea... all at the same time.

But that only covers the physical aspects. It doesn't deal at

all with the emotional, and I really can't explain that part -

except to say the emotional connection and feeling of

achievement and love made labour totally worthwhile.

It's hormonal, not magic.  During the birth process, the brain

releases massive doses of the hormone oxytocin (the love drug). 

This is nature's way of insuring that the mother will bond with and

care for her offspring.

Best,

~CJ

[Guest guest]

Looking at my own example: while I love my 15 year old NT daughter dearly, she has always been a mystery to me. One may say that I have no empathy for her, in that I am not able to read her at all. Of course, I want to be a good father to her but I often fail as I often do not respond to her needs accurately.On the other hand, I am able to empathise with my 11 year old AS daughter. I can read her very well most of the time. My NT wife often misreads her.Empathy is an odd concept. I have not yet seen a plausible explanation of how it works. Perhaps people can intuitively understand others' feelings because they recognise reactions that they are familiar with in themselves. Seeking how NTs are in the majority, there is a greater likelihood of an NT recognising reactions of another NT. I have never knowingly met another AS adult so I don't know if I am able to empathise with anybody else. Perhaps the empathy with my youngest is possible only because we react in similar ways, because we share some genes.SteveConnected by MOTOBLUR™ (article) Growing up in an Asperger Family This article really spoke to me, as I grew up in a family that (had we known the term) would probably earn itself an AS diagnosis. Of the lot, I am the most able to fly under the radar (although it wasn't always that way). Sometimes I wonder how much of my AS is the product of my neurobiology, and how much I've been "Aspergated" by my bizarre family life, a life that represented the only 'normal' I knew while growing up.With respect to the article, keep in mind that when the author talks about Aspies lacking "empathy", she does not mean that AS folks have no concern for others. There are many facets to empathy (and the absence of it), some of which are characteristic traits of AS. The inability to put oneself in the other person's shoes comes to mind, as does thefact that others have thoughts and perceptions different than one's own.Although not all Aspies will struggle to the same degree in this area, for when you've met one Aspie, you've met... well, you know the rest of the song.This excerpt from the article really spoke to me:"The AS parent will not be able to look intuitively into their child’s mind and recognise the invisible qualities their child has, such as kindness, caring, and honesty. They may judge their child by what is visible - tidiness, school achievements and time-keeping, for example. They may treat their children as mini-adults and have the same expectations of them as they have of themselves. "I grew up in the role of mini-adult myself, sometimes to the point where engaging in childlike games (for example, play acting) was actually ridiculed. This is one of the greatest regrets of my childhood, that I was neverable to develop a fantasy life.Even today, I feel very inhibited about any issue that requires role-playing. Or indulging the imagination for its own sake. I've often wondered to what degree my stunted growth in this area has contributed to my lack of interest in fiction. In particular, fiction that involves realms not of this earth. But give me an encyclopedia and a bunch of maps, and I'm happy as a pig in... well, you know. :)Anyway, I liked the article. Maybe you will too.Growing up in an Asperger Familyhttp://www.maxineaston.co.uk/published/Asperger_Family.shtmlEnjoy (or not),~CJ (The "Little Professor")~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~"The most important trip you may take in life is meeting people halfway."~~ HenryBoyle------------------------------------ "We each have our own way of living in the world, together we are like a symphony.Some are the melody, some are the rhythm, some are the harmony It all blends together, we are like a symphony, and each part is crucial.We all contribute to the song of life." ...Sondra We might not always agree; but TOGETHER we will make a difference. ASPIRES is a closed, confidential, moderated list.Responsibility for posts to ASPIRES lies entirely with the original author. Do NOT post mail off-list without the author's permission. When in doubt, please refer to our list rules at: http://www.aspires-relationships.com/info_rules.htm ASPIRES ~ Climbing the mountain TOGETHER http://www.aspires-relationships.com

[Guest guest]

Wait a minute.... that sounds like a bunch of NTs doing the same thing. These

AS folks have become NTs? Must be like aliens in an UFO coming to take human

with them to become like aliens LOL

Go figure. NOT!

>

> A lot of Aspies live in a " universe of one " . If these folks were so

> intuitive, they wouldn't be constantly at each other's throats on the

> internet. lol

>

> Best,

> ~CJ

>