Re: Re: How do I address this?

[Guest guest]

Hi everyone. Just joined yesterday but have suffered from this forever. One thing I've noticed about addressing something that bothers me, is that if I make even the slightest joke, it's not taken seriously. Even if I smile. It's natural to smile when making this type of request because it softens the blow, but I think it's counterproductive. Also, timing of this is important. Never approach a person in this situation early in the week. Don't we all feel better on a Friday than a Monday? Is there ever a happy hour for your office? If not, try a direct approach and don't make a joke of it. Be tactful of course. The problem is that this could border on a medical issue where the person says they can't help it, in which case, what can you realistically expect?

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

"Bob, I'd like to talk to you. Please don't take this personally as I am the one with a disorder but my disorder is making it extremely difficult for me to do my work. I am hoping you can help me with it. I have something called misophonia (hand him NYTimes article). Certain noises create an overwhelming feeling in me of dread and (say what other feelings you have). Unfortunately some of the noise are noises you make. Again this is not your fault and I hate to ask you to change but if you'd be willing to listen to me and try to help me, I'd be forever grateful. (he'll probably ask what those noises are, if not tell him.) You clear your throat and click your tongue and eat chips for a half hour. If you could lessen these noise I would be able to concentrate better. I do wear earplugs, listen to music (list whatever you are doing to help so he sees you are trying too) and breathe through it, but it is so very hard on me. Do you think you can help me by reducing those noises and maybe going to the break room to eat the chips or warning me that you are about to eat them so I can go and take my break before you start? Thank you for listening to me, it was really hard for me to admit this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings."Then answer any questions he may have and be prepared to laugh at yourself and smile as a little levity is good in getting people to do what you want them to do.Good luck Heidi

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Thanks for the suggestion! I will give it a try but I still worry that he'll be offended in some way. I've closed the adjoining door between our offices several times to avoid the sounds but I've given up since he seemed very offended by it. Honestly, he has his own emotional issues (as well as OCD), which only make matters more complicated. I'll see how it goes... I suppose it can't hurt to try. Thanks a bunch!

[Guest guest]

Please post your experience with this. Closing the door is a great solution. I only wish I had a door to separate me. To me, that's easy because if he gets offended by the door, I could easily say, Listen, it's either that or I lose my mind over your noises Good luck!

Thanks for the suggestion! I will give it a try but I still worry that he'll be offended in some way. I've closed the adjoining door between our offices several times to avoid the sounds but I've given up since he seemed very offended by it. Honestly, he has his own emotional issues (as well as OCD), which only make matters more complicated. I'll see how it goes... I suppose it can't hurt to try. Thanks a bunch!

[Guest guest]

I too wish I had a door to close but unfortunately I do not. I sit in a cubicle type area right next to her and the guy who snaps office is on the other side of me, so I feel sandwiched in. Perhaps I will try the right time to bring it up to her. I dont want to cause problems for myself at work which is making this so difficult for me but the rage and physical aggravation this causes me is awful. I will play it by ear and hopefully find the right time to approach her about it. I will post any experience with this if and when the time comes.

Thank you.

Please post your experience with this. Closing the door is a great solution. I only wish I had a door to separate me. To me, that's easy because if he gets offended by the door, I could easily say, Listen, it's either that or I lose my mind over your noises Good luck!

Thanks for the suggestion! I will give it a try but I still worry that he'll be offended in some way. I've closed the adjoining door between our offices several times to avoid the sounds but I've given up since he seemed very offended by it. Honestly, he has his own emotional issues (as well as OCD), which only make matters more complicated. I'll see how it goes... I suppose it can't hurt to try. Thanks a bunch!

[Guest guest]

Oh wow that's great u have a door. Yes I agree after u tell him if he can stop close that door. I would not worry about his being offended over a closed door. Take care of u. Sent from my iPhone

Please post your experience with this. Closing the door is a great solution. I only wish I had a door to separate me. To me, that's easy because if he gets offended by the door, I could easily say, Listen, it's either that or I lose my mind over your noises Good luck!

Thanks for the suggestion! I will give it a try but I still worry that he'll be offended in some way. I've closed the adjoining door between our offices several times to avoid the sounds but I've given up since he seemed very offended by it. Honestly, he has his own emotional issues (as well as OCD), which only make matters more complicated. I'll see how it goes... I suppose it can't hurt to try. Thanks a bunch!

[Guest guest]

I will definitely post my experience(s) with this syndrome, when I have a bit more time to be thorough. Regarding closing my door, he'd even asked me a few times why I had closed the door (and to not seem like a crazy person) I told him " I just wanted a little bit of quiet. " He's definitely taken it personally every time I've done it and I think he complains to other people about it (they make comments to me about closing the door and not " liking " him any more). I think I'd be more comfortable if he'd address it again to me and then I would show him the article and give him a whole explanation.  We both seem to be non-confrontational and (which is common in the South) we are very concerned about being polite all the time, so that makes this especially difficult. Plus, he has a bit more seniority here and I don't want this getting back to my boss. I guess since Friday is better, I'll wait until tomorrow to bring it up. Fingers crossed!

[Guest guest]

oh and I agree dont laugh or smile too much while telling him. wait till after the Q & A then relax and provide the levity, like "Oh I bet you though giving in too wife's demands were hard." LOL, Whatever makes sense for your personality to let him know you're not angry, just serious and you still like himgood luck

"Bob, I'd like to talk to you. Please don't take this personally as I am the one with a disorder but my disorder is making it extremely difficult for me to do my work. I am hoping you can help me with it. I have something called misophonia (hand him NYTimes article). Certain noises create an overwhelming feeling in me of dread and (say what other feelings you have). Unfortunately some of the noise are noises you make. Again this is not your fault and I hate to ask you to change but if you'd be willing to listen to me and try to help me, I'd be forever grateful. (he'll probably ask what those noises are, if not tell him.) You clear your throat and click your tongue and eat chips for a half hour. If you could lessen these noise I would be able to concentrate better. I do wear earplugs, listen to music (list whatever you are doing to help so he sees you are trying too) and breathe through it, but it is so very hard on me. Do you think you can help me by reducing those noises and maybe going to the break room to eat the chips or warning me that you are about to eat them so I can go and take my break before you start? Thank you for listening to me, it was really hard for me to admit this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings."Then answer any questions he may have and be prepared to laugh at yourself and smile as a little levity is good in getting people to do what you want them to do.Good luck Heidi

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

If I expect someone is going to be resistant to requests to modify their behavior on my account. I tell them that I have ADD, and cannot tune out background noises very well which makes it really hard to concentrate. And that I have tried medication and it has not helped me. (who knows maybe 4s/miso is a form of ADD) Since everyone has heard of ADD, they get that and don't take it so personally that I wear the ipod or work alone .You are so lucky to have a door. Close the door, you can get over the guilt, you cannot get over the misophonia, (at this point) You gotta do what you gotta do to preserve your sanity, even if others don't understand. Let's face it, it's really hard to understand for those who do not have it. I try not to take it personally if others don't

understand. It is what it is.But since he is a sensitive individual, he may find it easier to understand and accept than an less sensitive type would. Sensitive people tend to worry about how they are affecting others.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 11:31 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

oh and I agree dont laugh or smile too much while telling him. wait till after the Q & A then relax and provide the levity, like "Oh I bet you though giving in too wife's demands were hard." LOL, Whatever makes sense for your personality to let him know you're not angry, just serious and you still like himgood luck

"Bob, I'd like to talk to you. Please don't take this personally as I am the one with a disorder but my disorder is making it extremely difficult for me to do my work. I am hoping you can help me with it. I have something called misophonia (hand him NYTimes article). Certain noises create an overwhelming feeling in me of dread and (say what other feelings you have). Unfortunately some of the noise are noises you make. Again this is not your fault and I hate to ask you to change but if you'd be willing to listen to me and try to help me, I'd be forever grateful. (he'll probably ask what those noises are, if not tell him.) You clear your throat and click your tongue and eat chips for a half hour. If you could lessen these noise I would be able to concentrate better. I do wear earplugs, listen to music (list whatever you are doing to help so he sees you are

trying too) and breathe through it, but it is so very hard on me. Do you think you can help me by reducing those noises and maybe going to the break room to eat the chips or warning me that you are about to eat them so I can go and take my break before you start? Thank you for listening to me, it was really hard for me to admit this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings."Then answer any questions he may have and be prepared to laugh at yourself and smile as a little levity is good in getting people to do what you want them to do.Good luck Heidi

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Simple. If the area you're in is relatively private just tell him you mean no offense and know it's not intentional but that the noises distracting. If he doesn't cooperate address it with your manager. If you're low key and not critical most people are unlikely to be offended. The risk is that he's a jerk and will use it to torture you. But so far the few people I've spoken to at work have been very understanding and cooperative. Sent from my mobile device

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Simple. If the area you're in is relatively private just tell him you mean no offense and know it's not intentional but that the noises distracting. If he doesn't cooperate address it with your manager. If you're low key and not critical most people are unlikely to be offended. The risk is that he's a jerk and will use it to torture you. But so far the few people I've spoken to at work have been very understanding and cooperative. Sent from my mobile device

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

na my dear work toward your goal and don't let this stop you. Deal with today and the positive that the future holds and not the negative. Become an astromer and worry about the details later. Trust me on thisMuch love to uHeidiSent from my iPhone

This is officially scary. I am worried about being able to hold a job. I am not the type to have a job and be miserable as heck. I know I want to be a astronomer and I will have to work with people.

> >

> > I will definitely post my experience(s) with this syndrome, when I have a

> > bit more time to be thorough. Regarding closing my door, he'd even asked me

> > a few times why I had closed the door (and to not seem like a crazy person)

> > I told him "I just wanted a little bit of quiet." He's definitely taken it

> > personally every time I've done it and I think he complains to other people

> > about it (they make comments to me about closing the door and not "liking"

> > him any more). I think I'd be more comfortable if he'd address it again to

> > me and then I would show him the article and give him a whole explanation.

> > We both seem to be non-confrontational and (which is common in the South) we

> > are very concerned about being polite all the time, so that makes this

> > especially difficult. Plus, he has a bit more seniority here and I don't

> > want this getting back to my boss. I guess since Friday is better, I'll wait

> > until tomorrow to bring it up. Fingers crossed!

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

na my dear work toward your goal and don't let this stop you. Deal with today and the positive that the future holds and not the negative. Become an astromer and worry about the details later. Trust me on thisMuch love to uHeidiSent from my iPhone

This is officially scary. I am worried about being able to hold a job. I am not the type to have a job and be miserable as heck. I know I want to be a astronomer and I will have to work with people.

> >

> > I will definitely post my experience(s) with this syndrome, when I have a

> > bit more time to be thorough. Regarding closing my door, he'd even asked me

> > a few times why I had closed the door (and to not seem like a crazy person)

> > I told him "I just wanted a little bit of quiet." He's definitely taken it

> > personally every time I've done it and I think he complains to other people

> > about it (they make comments to me about closing the door and not "liking"

> > him any more). I think I'd be more comfortable if he'd address it again to

> > me and then I would show him the article and give him a whole explanation.

> > We both seem to be non-confrontational and (which is common in the South) we

> > are very concerned about being polite all the time, so that makes this

> > especially difficult. Plus, he has a bit more seniority here and I don't

> > want this getting back to my boss. I guess since Friday is better, I'll wait

> > until tomorrow to bring it up. Fingers crossed!

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

there is no way for people like us to calm ourself down. The chip eating would kill me! I ride the train and someone always has to sit near me and open a bag of chips. I want to KILL them! I have found that my headphones make it much better but I cannot sit by them. Even if I have my music blasting in my ears, I can still smell the chips and imagine them eating. It's just awful. Can you wear headphones at work? That is the only thing that would get me through. Is it someone who sits next to you? If you have your own office you can get some kind of white noise devise. My therapist has one called the therapists helper. She uses it in the waiting room so we can't hear through her door. I'm interested in getting one.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:41 AMSubject: Re: How do I address this?

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

there is no way for people like us to calm ourself down. The chip eating would kill me! I ride the train and someone always has to sit near me and open a bag of chips. I want to KILL them! I have found that my headphones make it much better but I cannot sit by them. Even if I have my music blasting in my ears, I can still smell the chips and imagine them eating. It's just awful. Can you wear headphones at work? That is the only thing that would get me through. Is it someone who sits next to you? If you have your own office you can get some kind of white noise devise. My therapist has one called the therapists helper. She uses it in the waiting room so we can't hear through her door. I'm interested in getting one.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:41 AMSubject: Re: How do I address this?

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Everyone thinks I am crazy....and that's just the way it is. I am 45 years old and have suffered with this as long as I can remember. I couldn't believe when I started reading about 'Highly Sensitive People" that there were other out there like me. We are not crazy, this is real. I just tell people, look, I really can't handle this, and I know you think I am crazy but that's ok....just please be aware of it. I apologize for being the way I am but I can't help it. We have no choice, either be direct, or be miserable. Sometimes, we get both.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:46 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

Hi everyone. Just joined yesterday but have suffered from this forever. One thing I've noticed about addressing something that bothers me, is that if I make even the slightest joke, it's not taken seriously. Even if I smile. It's natural to smile when making this type of request because it softens the blow, but I think it's counterproductive. Also, timing of this is important. Never approach a person in this situation early in the week. Don't we all feel better on a Friday than a Monday? Is there ever a happy hour for your office? If not, try a direct approach and don't make a joke of it. Be tactful of course. The problem is that this could border on a medical issue where the person says they can't help it, in which case, what can you realistically expect?

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

Everyone thinks I am crazy....and that's just the way it is. I am 45 years old and have suffered with this as long as I can remember. I couldn't believe when I started reading about 'Highly Sensitive People" that there were other out there like me. We are not crazy, this is real. I just tell people, look, I really can't handle this, and I know you think I am crazy but that's ok....just please be aware of it. I apologize for being the way I am but I can't help it. We have no choice, either be direct, or be miserable. Sometimes, we get both.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:46 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

Hi everyone. Just joined yesterday but have suffered from this forever. One thing I've noticed about addressing something that bothers me, is that if I make even the slightest joke, it's not taken seriously. Even if I smile. It's natural to smile when making this type of request because it softens the blow, but I think it's counterproductive. Also, timing of this is important. Never approach a person in this situation early in the week. Don't we all feel better on a Friday than a Monday? Is there ever a happy hour for your office? If not, try a direct approach and don't make a joke of it. Be tactful of course. The problem is that this could border on a medical issue where the person says they can't help it, in which case, what can you realistically expect?

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

that is wonderful. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:53 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

"Bob, I'd like to talk to you. Please don't take this personally as I am the one with a disorder but my disorder is making it extremely difficult for me to do my work. I am hoping you can help me with it. I have something called misophonia (hand him NYTimes article). Certain noises create an overwhelming feeling in me of dread and (say what other feelings you have). Unfortunately some of the noise are noises you make. Again this is not your fault and I hate to ask you to change but if you'd be willing to listen to me and try to help me, I'd be forever grateful. (he'll probably ask what those noises are, if not tell him.) You clear your throat and click your tongue and eat chips for a half hour. If you could lessen these noise I would be able to concentrate better. I do wear earplugs, listen to music (list whatever you are doing to help so he sees you are trying too) and breathe through it,

but it is so very hard on me. Do you think you can help me by reducing those noises and maybe going to the break room to eat the chips or warning me that you are about to eat them so I can go and take my break before you start? Thank you for listening to me, it was really hard for me to admit this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings."Then answer any questions he may have and be prepared to laugh at yourself and smile as a little levity is good in getting people to do what you want them to do.Good luck Heidi

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

that is wonderful. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:53 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

"Bob, I'd like to talk to you. Please don't take this personally as I am the one with a disorder but my disorder is making it extremely difficult for me to do my work. I am hoping you can help me with it. I have something called misophonia (hand him NYTimes article). Certain noises create an overwhelming feeling in me of dread and (say what other feelings you have). Unfortunately some of the noise are noises you make. Again this is not your fault and I hate to ask you to change but if you'd be willing to listen to me and try to help me, I'd be forever grateful. (he'll probably ask what those noises are, if not tell him.) You clear your throat and click your tongue and eat chips for a half hour. If you could lessen these noise I would be able to concentrate better. I do wear earplugs, listen to music (list whatever you are doing to help so he sees you are trying too) and breathe through it,

but it is so very hard on me. Do you think you can help me by reducing those noises and maybe going to the break room to eat the chips or warning me that you are about to eat them so I can go and take my break before you start? Thank you for listening to me, it was really hard for me to admit this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings."Then answer any questions he may have and be prepared to laugh at yourself and smile as a little levity is good in getting people to do what you want them to do.Good luck Heidi

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

that is wonderful. To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:53 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

"Bob, I'd like to talk to you. Please don't take this personally as I am the one with a disorder but my disorder is making it extremely difficult for me to do my work. I am hoping you can help me with it. I have something called misophonia (hand him NYTimes article). Certain noises create an overwhelming feeling in me of dread and (say what other feelings you have). Unfortunately some of the noise are noises you make. Again this is not your fault and I hate to ask you to change but if you'd be willing to listen to me and try to help me, I'd be forever grateful. (he'll probably ask what those noises are, if not tell him.) You clear your throat and click your tongue and eat chips for a half hour. If you could lessen these noise I would be able to concentrate better. I do wear earplugs, listen to music (list whatever you are doing to help so he sees you are trying too) and breathe through it,

but it is so very hard on me. Do you think you can help me by reducing those noises and maybe going to the break room to eat the chips or warning me that you are about to eat them so I can go and take my break before you start? Thank you for listening to me, it was really hard for me to admit this to you because I don't want to hurt your feelings."Then answer any questions he may have and be prepared to laugh at yourself and smile as a little levity is good in getting people to do what you want them to do.Good luck Heidi

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

[Guest guest]

I would not be able to work in that environment. It is debilitating. I really feel for you!To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 9:19 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

I too wish I had a door to close but unfortunately I do not. I sit in a cubicle type area right next to her and the guy who snaps office is on the other side of me, so I feel sandwiched in. Perhaps I will try the right time to bring it up to her. I dont want to cause problems for myself at work which is making this so difficult for me but the rage and physical aggravation this causes me is awful. I will play it by ear and hopefully find the right time to approach her about it. I will post any experience with this if and when the time comes.

Thank you.

Please post your experience with this. Closing the door is a great solution. I only wish I had a door to separate me. To me, that's easy because if he gets offended by the door, I could easily say, Listen, it's either that or I lose my mind over your noises Good luck!

Thanks for the suggestion! I will give it a try but I still worry that he'll be offended in some way. I've closed the adjoining door between our offices several times to avoid the sounds but I've given up since he seemed very offended by it. Honestly, he has his own emotional issues (as well as OCD), which only make matters more complicated. I'll see how it goes... I suppose it can't hurt to try. Thanks a bunch!

[Guest guest]

I would not be able to work in that environment. It is debilitating. I really feel for you!To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 9:19 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

I too wish I had a door to close but unfortunately I do not. I sit in a cubicle type area right next to her and the guy who snaps office is on the other side of me, so I feel sandwiched in. Perhaps I will try the right time to bring it up to her. I dont want to cause problems for myself at work which is making this so difficult for me but the rage and physical aggravation this causes me is awful. I will play it by ear and hopefully find the right time to approach her about it. I will post any experience with this if and when the time comes.

Thank you.

Please post your experience with this. Closing the door is a great solution. I only wish I had a door to separate me. To me, that's easy because if he gets offended by the door, I could easily say, Listen, it's either that or I lose my mind over your noises Good luck!

Thanks for the suggestion! I will give it a try but I still worry that he'll be offended in some way. I've closed the adjoining door between our offices several times to avoid the sounds but I've given up since he seemed very offended by it. Honestly, he has his own emotional issues (as well as OCD), which only make matters more complicated. I'll see how it goes... I suppose it can't hurt to try. Thanks a bunch!

[Guest guest]

I would not be able to work in that environment. It is debilitating. I really feel for you!To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 9:19 AMSubject: Re: Re: How do I address this?

I too wish I had a door to close but unfortunately I do not. I sit in a cubicle type area right next to her and the guy who snaps office is on the other side of me, so I feel sandwiched in. Perhaps I will try the right time to bring it up to her. I dont want to cause problems for myself at work which is making this so difficult for me but the rage and physical aggravation this causes me is awful. I will play it by ear and hopefully find the right time to approach her about it. I will post any experience with this if and when the time comes.

Thank you.

Please post your experience with this. Closing the door is a great solution. I only wish I had a door to separate me. To me, that's easy because if he gets offended by the door, I could easily say, Listen, it's either that or I lose my mind over your noises Good luck!

Thanks for the suggestion! I will give it a try but I still worry that he'll be offended in some way. I've closed the adjoining door between our offices several times to avoid the sounds but I've given up since he seemed very offended by it. Honestly, he has his own emotional issues (as well as OCD), which only make matters more complicated. I'll see how it goes... I suppose it can't hurt to try. Thanks a bunch!

[Guest guest]

Girl, you have a lot to deal with. i am proud of you for continuing. You are not a baby, you have a ton to deal with. take it one day at a time. The more positive energy you can muster, the better, it will take hold and over ride the bad.You are loved here and your future is not bleak. Your smarts will get you were you want to be.Peace and love,Heidi

Thanks. I am acually watching X Factor and I know that I am good at singing(I have won awards in choir) and I would use money for a foundation for misophonia. I talked to my friend that is blind. She makes me feel strong. I do feel kinda like a baby, but yet it is hard when everyone gets sick and has to eat that both trigger me. I know that I can work for a small astronomy buissness that is owned by NASA. It would help with less people. I have been through a lot lately that may be causing added stress. My grandpa died, I got asthma, and more within the past two years. My sister died when I was 6. It was scary to have that happen to someone so young. The misophonia got worse. It was where I was severely triggered at home. It then went to school snd keeps getting worse. I have always been treated like I am stupid and have been told that I am stupid sense 1st grade. I am not stupid. I am just slow and have a hard time concentrating. My hearing had been getting worse, but mainly with low pitched sounds. I really try to be as possitive as possible. I am usually happy when I haven't been triggered for a while. The worst is when people make fun of the way I walk because of a really weird feet disformity like my feet point outwards, they bend over, and I am extreamly flat footed and I have to plug my ears often to keep myself from either attacking or running out screaming, which I would get into huge trouble for doing. This is one big roller coster ride called Life.

> > > >

> > > > I will definitely post my experience(s) with this syndrome, when I have a

> > > > bit more time to be thorough. Regarding closing my door, he'd even asked me

> > > > a few times why I had closed the door (and to not seem like a crazy person)

> > > > I told him "I just wanted a little bit of quiet." He's definitely taken it

> > > > personally every time I've done it and I think he complains to other people

> > > > about it (they make comments to me about closing the door and not "liking"

> > > > him any more). I think I'd be more comfortable if he'd address it again to

> > > > me and then I would show him the article and give him a whole explanation.

> > > > We both seem to be non-confrontational and (which is common in the South) we

> > > > are very concerned about being polite all the time, so that makes this

> > > > especially difficult. Plus, he has a bit more seniority here and I don't

> > > > want this getting back to my boss. I guess since Friday is better, I'll wait

> > > > until tomorrow to bring it up. Fingers crossed!

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

I think there is, I do think there are methods you can clean to get control and calm yourself, maybe not all the time, but sometime, and it's not easy, it takes a whole lotta work

there is no way for people like us to calm ourself down. The chip eating would kill me! I ride the train and someone always has to sit near me and open a bag of chips. I want to KILL them! I have found that my headphones make it much better but I cannot sit by them. Even if I have my music blasting in my ears, I can still smell the chips and imagine them eating. It's just awful. Can you wear headphones at work? That is the only thing that would get me through. Is it someone who sits next to you? If you have your own office you can get some kind of white noise devise. My therapist has one called the therapists helper. She uses it in the waiting room so we can't hear through her door. I'm interested in getting one.To: Soundsensitivity Sent: Thursday, September 22, 2011 8:41 AMSubject: Re: How do I address this?

I would like an answer to the same question. I don't know how to politely address several annoying habits that a neighboring co-worker of mine has (throat-clearing, tongue-clicking, and daily 30-minute chip-eating sessions). He's a rather sensitive individual and I certainly don't want to hurt his feelings, but I also don't think it's healthy for me to have to listen to all of his noises all day long and while trying to concentrate on the work I have to do. I feel guilty because I think "who am I to expect other people to be quiet for me?" I'd like to address it with him in a respectful manner or figure out a way to calm myself down. Please... any help you can provide is greatly appreciated!

Thanks!