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For Jill- Re: CINDY

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My cats do fairly well for me in the touch situation, but the problem is they

have claws and their longish legs and when they walk on me and also when they do

the kneading thing they do - lots of pain, lots of tenderness -

I know they are trying to with the body thing tell me they love me, but

sometimes I wish they would listen when I tell them to keep their claws

sheathed.

I don't speak their dialect I guess - They seem to know the exact tender spot to

stand on - it wouldn't be so bad if they would just move the the next area

instead of STANDING THERE thinking about it. LOL. Sometimes I cry -

But they are good to pet and that is calming.

I understand about touch hunger - I don't get hugs or anything for weeks on end

and almost break down crying when someone does hug me. I'm too afraid to get

into a he/she relationship - been harmed too many times by too many men. I know

the dynamics, but don't know how to deal with it except for abstaining from love

- so I guess the chocolate and sugars are my way of feeling loved.

Jill in TX

> >

> > I tried in the past the Gui supplements and had a good reaction to them.

> >

> > Of course, I had mint cravings with it - how silly is it - just tell me I

can't have something and then that's all I can think about.

> >

> > Oh, well, an addict is an addict is an addict. Right now it's colas and

candy - but I found out what is blocking me - the kids in my Dissociative system

are afraid that we will lose weight and get involved with a man again - lots of

" NOT SAFE " issues, lots of fears, lots of mind talk about how evil men are and I

am and just a lot of having to squelch it or try to ignore it.

> >

> > I need to leave soon to walk in this cooler weather today and get the

younger ones balloons to play with - I don't play much mostly study, work, watch

movies, fall asleep at weird times, and get a bit of housework done. I stayed up

overnight watching movies - saw a pretty good vampire one too - I'd made a

promise to myself that I would see any and all vamp and wolf man movies and

books - don't know why I like them.

> >

> > Jill in TX

> >>

>

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