Re: Parenting<Triggering><Deb>

July 16, 2004

Dear Cam I hear what you are saying, I never confront someone until I

am at peace and know exactly what I need to say, and I always use the

words I feel etc.. I learned that long ago. Thanks so much for

everything really it means so much to me. There is a fibro group here,

I only went to one meeting and I got some information that helped alot

but I was so disappointed with the woman running it, they spent the

whole hour I was there not discussing fibromyalgia but talking about

some woman who had come in for only a few minutes with a young child

and then left again because her child was acting up or something.The

child never bothered me, and why it bothered them I have no idea at

all. They spent the time discussing that they felt she had enough money

to hire a babysitter or something like this and generally just not

talking nice about her. I decided right then , I wouldnt partake in

that group. I wasnt looking to join a gossip club if you know what I

mean, and I certainly was not in the space of mind at that time to try

to change the direction of the meeting, not even knowing how it is run

or anything. Im sure things could have changed by now, and perhaps it

was just the wrong day I attended, and perhaps its not always that way.

I just didnt feel the need to rush back to it. I got some literature

and went out and bought a few books. I may try it again sometime, just

dont know when yet

Love ya thanks for listeing

Deb

--- camilla higley wrote:

---------------------------------

Deb....take this free advice for what it is worth. You have a toxic

friendship (?) with this woman. What about sitting down and typing a

letter. Read it over.....let a day pass....then read it again. Can

you make it more concise? Have you clearly told her why the

friendship isn't working?? Don't accuse....use words like " I feel "

or " it seems like " ...then you won't be accusing directly. For

instance..... " This friendship is just not working for me. I feel that

I only get called when I am needed for something. I have great pain

in my life, but this pain is not acknowledged " ....See? You haven't

used the word " you " one time. Maybe that will get her attention. In

any event your life would be more stress free without her.

Is there any kind of fibro support group in your area? Let me hear

from you. I care. Love, Cam

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