Re: Crash Course in the world of Aislynn

[Guest guest]

>

> I don't understand where her autism starts and her stubbornness ends, so I

> must give her the benefit of the doubt. This is a very big gray area. So

> those that don't accept it believe she is responsible for it. I don't

know

> how to explain my view.

>

> Can anyone help?

Barb:

Motivation is Putter's biggest problem too although he currently is, as they

said at his IEP, working for worksheets, that is only because HE wants to.

Part of lack of motivation is the lack of any desire to please anyone, even

those who you clearly love. Putter loves me. But do something just because

it would make me happy? " Why? " asks Putter, puzzled.

Salli

[Guest guest]

> >

> This is about the misuse of the rules of writing. In her class she

>was supposed to follow guidelines for an essay. She discarded those

>rules, apparently. She has a wonderful imagination and writes great

>stories, but she doesn't always do the assignments right.

>>>

What is it with all this " right " and " wrong " stuff? OK. If a child

tells you that 2 + 2 = 5, yes, that is the " wrong " answer. But

writing? Following guidelines?

I wish educators would just STOP for a minute and think outside the

rulebooks. Just because Aislynn does not follow the guidelines, does

not mean she's doing an assignment " wrong " , it just means she's doing

it differently than another person " THINKS " she should.

Barb - You are SOOOOO helping me prepare for middle school... :-)

Penny

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Hey, even WE all don't understand how autism affects their motivation.

>

> In short, lack of motivation was a red flag for me.

> That was the single thing that told me of a problem.

>

> I don't understand where her autism starts and her stubbornness ends, so I

> must give her the benefit of the doubt. This is a very big gray area. So

> those that don't accept it believe she is responsible for it. I don't

know

> how to explain my view.

>

> Can anyone help?

> Barb

>

Barb,

I don't think they understand why they are to do it a certain way, which

would account for a 'lack of motivation'. Also, if they don't understand

it, why should they do it?

I have talked to other moms who have it agreed with the teachers that if the

kid can do the work, don't make an issue if they don't show all the steps of

how they got the answer. The main point is that they know how to do it!

In writing, I'm willing to bet that Aislynn doesn't get the different steps

they want her to do, so she doesn't do it. One of the things our kids

really lack is critical thinking skills...problem solving, inferring,

predicting, etc.

I've also read that if you want a child to do something a certain way, if

they don't understand why it's necessary, they won't do it!

I see a lot of issues going on with my 11 year old that match with what I've

read about and it is hard to see the problems he has with trying to even

pull the answers out of what he reads.

In short, I don't know that you can detect if it's stubbornness or lack of

understanding, or just a skill that doesn't work within OUR guidlines.

Sue

----------------------------------------------------

Sign Up for NetZero Platinum Today

Only $9.95 per month!

http://my.netzero.net/s/signup?r=platinum & refcd=PT97

[Guest guest]

Re: Crash Course in the world of Aislynn

> > I don't understand where her autism starts and her stubbornness

> >ends, so I must give her the benefit of the doubt. This is a very

> >big gray area. So those that don't accept it believe she is

> >responsible for it. I don't know how to explain my view.

> >

> > Can anyone help?

> > Barb

>

> When I find the words Barb, I'll try to help...at the same time I

> will point that out to my husband who, as of late, has been

> increasingly impatient. ugh.

>

> We'll all get thru this together.

>

> Penny :-)

>

Penny,

Are you one of the ones who said your dh sounded like mine??? This sure

does!

Sue

----------------------------------------------------

Sign Up for NetZero Platinum Today

Only $9.95 per month!

http://my.netzero.net/s/signup?r=platinum & refcd=PT97

[Guest guest]

> Penny,

> Are you one of the ones who said your dh sounded like mine??? This

sure

> does!

> Sue

>

Yep.

Penny

[Guest guest]

Hey Barb,

I have been following the thread about Aislynn and her

aide. I think you are doing the right thing by

questioning the aide's style and methods. Have you

gotten a reply from your letter yet? I may have missed

it if you have. I am SO far behind with the posts.

Ginger

__________________________________________________

[Guest guest]

> > Right now I am scared that by making a stink

> > about this, I have ruined everything between

> > and me. Guilt strikes again.

> >

> > Barb

> >

Barb -

What Grace said.

We have all been at that point where we are afraid to " offend " those

that work with our children. We don't want to " overstep " our bounds,

we dont' want to " rock the boat " .

You finally get to a point where it doesn't matter any more. They

are your bounds, overstep them if you must. It's your boat, rock

away. Of course, I always encourage others to do this tactfully.

Sometimes that can't be done, but we all need to learn how to play

the game for the sake of our children.

You're doing a great job Barb. Aislynn is a great kid. Like Grace

said, you've been there since minute one. YOU know her.

Penny

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Right now I am scared that by making a stink

> about this, I have ruined everything between

> and me. Guilt strikes again.

>

> Barb

>

Barb,

Maybe it would help to stand back and remind yourself that is there

soley for Aislynn and technically she Works for you! Try for professional

working relationship instead of worrying about developing a friendship.

You can't let yourself feel guilty for being concerned for your daughter!

She's your number one priority and no one else's.

Sue

----------------------------------------------------

Sign Up for NetZero Platinum Today

Only $9.95 per month!

http://my.netzero.net/s/signup?r=platinum & refcd=PT97

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Right now I am scared that by making a stink

> about this, I have ruined everything between

> and me. Guilt strikes again.

>

> Barb

>

Barb,

Maybe it would help to stand back and remind yourself that is there

soley for Aislynn and technically she Works for you! Try for professional

working relationship instead of worrying about developing a friendship.

You can't let yourself feel guilty for being concerned for your daughter!

She's your number one priority and no one else's.

Sue

----------------------------------------------------

Sign Up for NetZero Platinum Today

Only $9.95 per month!

http://my.netzero.net/s/signup?r=platinum & refcd=PT97

[Guest guest]

----- Original Message -----

> Right now I am scared that by making a stink

> about this, I have ruined everything between

> and me. Guilt strikes again.

>

> Barb

>

Barb,

Maybe it would help to stand back and remind yourself that is there

soley for Aislynn and technically she Works for you! Try for professional

working relationship instead of worrying about developing a friendship.

You can't let yourself feel guilty for being concerned for your daughter!

She's your number one priority and no one else's.

Sue

----------------------------------------------------

Sign Up for NetZero Platinum Today

Only $9.95 per month!

http://my.netzero.net/s/signup?r=platinum & refcd=PT97

[Guest guest]

> >

> Penny, I am not exactly following you here.

Yes, you did follow me and yes you did get my point.

We both basically said the same thing, but I did a crappy job of it.

My point is that all children are individuals and they have different

styles of learning..and educators need to realize that and not just

assume that every child has to be taught or will learn the exact same

way.

I may be over-senstive sometimes, but I can't help but always be on

the offensive.

Feel free to ignore my posts when I sound like a babbling idiot,

because there are days in which I make absolutely no sense. Comes

with the territory.

:-)

Penny

[Guest guest]

> Feel free to ignore my posts when I sound like a babbling idiot,

> because there are days in which I make absolutely no sense. Comes

> with the territory.

>

> :-)

> Penny

I have not witnessed this yet, and I've been here for awhile now.

However, I *HAVE* seen her hold a grudge, so I kindly advise everyone

to not diss her, come hell or highwater LOL!!

Grace