Re: im happy

[Guest guest]

I actually laughed right out loud when I read your blog post.  So many of those thoughts are exactly the thoughts I've had in my head.  If you eat one more of those . . .

 

im so happy im not as crazy as i feel! there have been so many times ive freaked out on people over things that werent their fault. ive been to so many counselors that dont spend any time with me on this because they dont realize its as severe as it is! i hate it. i avoid places, people, invites... all because i think about the food. if its crunchy, will there be music, whos going? do they bother me when they eat? i base my families meals around the sounds the food makes. i dont let my kids have chips, gum, popcorn, soup and many other things when theyre around me. im always yelling at them from a different room to chew w their mouth shut or i will threaten to take the item away. my parents were kinda like this too. i have early memories of eating sunflower seeds and my mom yelling it me about the shells, or my dad making me suck on my potato chips. i have so many things i want to share but im on excitement over load! i am soooooo happy im not alone. i am a college student as well and its so hard to concentrate there! i try to get there early so i can build a people barricade around my seat so nobody can sit near me, and if they do i think of ways to move without looking like a bitch. i walk in and profile people. if they look like gum chewers i sit far away. its always on my mind. everyday, everywhere. i hate it. i just found out there was an actual condition the other day on the today show, like many of you. i did, however blog about it a little while back. below is that blog entry... i hope, no, i know you will all get a chuckle and a sigh of relief out of it...

i know i am nuts.

Posted on July 21, 2011 by jmerae54

so let me start by saying i HATE crunching. hate it. like every nerve in my body tenses up like im about to burst with anger, my blood literally boils. i hate the sound of the bag, i hate the way it sounds when people chew, i hate the restaurants that serve them for free with every meal. let me also note that MY crunching… doesnt bother me a bit. not at all. unless im around other people while im crunching. then i feel like i need to suck on my chips and swallow them whole as i imagine they should be feeling when i am around. of course, the sound of swallowing urks me too. gum chewing, sandwich smacking, ice cream licking, straw sucking… really, it all pisses me off. now, i understand this is completely ridiculous, stupid, slightly immature sounding, psychotic and unavoidable. that last word it the worst. you cant avoid eating around other people. i avoid movie theaters completely. if someone was to sit around me with a bucket of popcorn… thats all id be able to focus on through the whole movie. let me bring you on a journey to the inside thought process in my brain – this is the inside of my head – alright, i will sit right here. wait, no, that person has a kid… she probably has a snack in her purse for the kid. ill go sit here and pretend im interested in this picture. damn, shes digging in her purse. oh, i hope she doesnt pull out a snack. seriously? she has pretzels? great, frickin pretzels. does she not know im insane? ok, dont look at her. ignore it. look away. hum, whistle, text someone. oh my god, if she eats one more im gonna chuck this chair at her face. – ok. you need to exit my head now because i want you all to not be scared of me but just know that i hate this about me. i hate yelling at my kids to shut their mouth while eating popcorn, i hate going into the bedroom and turning on the tv so i cant hear anyone eating in the living room, i hate turning the fan on over the stove at dinner to try to muffle out the sound of my family enjoying the dinner i just cooked, i hate basing what i cook on where its going to be eaten, i hate that i base what i buy on how much someone is going to like it and where i will be when they decide to eat it, i hate that i avoid certain people, places and things because of food. i love food! it is an obsession. i know i need help. or a really nice blender.

http://jmerae54.wordpress.com/

thats my blog address. i posted it on facebook, people read it, and now theyre afraid to eat around me :-)