Wording values if you can't remember - is my strategy OK

[Guest guest]

I was attracted to ACT because I wanted help in dealing with 3 main things

...........

- almost no friends now ..... maybe 1 & I don't have a lot in common with her ,

& the

resulting loneliness

- unhappiness that comes with feeling absolutely horrible health wize .........

eg. when

I'm in terrible pain I'm going to feel unhappy

- occasional reminders of things that I don't have anymore - eg. memories,

career etc .....

So it's about thought suppression - suppression of the above thoughts and

emotions.

I don't have any problem with knowing what my values are so that part of ACT

isn't as

relevant ....... I don't have any motivational problems in doing them either. I

know

exactly how I want to behave (except I always have to negotiate around suddent

health

issues) So these aren't so important.

Re: values - but what I DO have is an absolutely TERRIBLE memory. Terrible.

And so

doing a list of values that is complicated, detailed and worded in a way that

isn't

natural etc has been difficult for me to keep with - really difficult.

What's worked for me is 2 things -

1. have a list of the 5 things that I value

2. when i am uncertain about something I ask myself " Do I value this? "

Some examples

1. (From memory ... I think this is what happened) I was sitting at the

computer and

avoiding the Word typing that I had to do because I was exhausted and didn't

want to

concentrate on anything either ..... and then I thought " I value my DYIR " and

so I

opened up the word document and started typing ..... and then I just did more

and more

........

(This DYIR is my " Detailed year in review " - a typed document that I do at the

start of

each year with information about the previous year that I want to remember. So

I look up

my diary, my achievements log, my happy log, my emails etc and I type things

like " My

usual day " , " Other things I did with my time " , " Things that made me happy " etc

..... and

at the end I've typed up answers to about 30 questions and they add up to about

40

pages. So it takes a lot of mental & physical energy to sit up and type etc

......) It's

a document that means a lot to me because it makes up what I've forgotten and

gives my

life a bit more " meaning " .....

So ..... I just used point # 2 above and asked myself " Do I value this " and the

answer

got me working on it .......

2. The values list - here's my values list - it's short and very few words

because this

is the only way that I'll remember what's on it ....

I value my .......

1. Family

2. Connections - friends, online, neighbours

3. Health - physical & psychological (this is where the above memories

document would

come in .......)

4. Contribution towards the legalisation of voluntary euthanasia

5. Control

Anyway, I'm just asking if there's any problem that you can see with just

learning that 5

points above for values? I honestly wouldn't remember anything more than this

even if I

said them each day. I've tried doing more but it's honestly gotten so

complciated that I

can't see anything from all the detail.

Dr , I'd love your opinion please.

Thanks

iolanda

PS - when I went through my ACT printouts to work out the wording for something

above as

usual I remembered nothing of what I've read or even of the notes and plans I'd

done

........ absolutely nothing.

--

Never tell me never!!! (Janine Shepherd)