Re: Do I need to find out why do I do what I do?

[Guest guest]

Hi Stan I can see value in looking at reasons, whether they stem from past experiences or not. Looking at your *present* reasons for gambling, that is really identifying what is that you feel/think/experience when the gambling urge hits you could be very useful (in my opinion). And this doesn't necessarily involve trawling through the past or relying on memories or stories. If you have knowledge of that things that contribute to and trigger your gambling urges NOW then it may help you deal with those urges. Not that I have experience with gambling but I did have a serious smoking addiction for more than 20 years and gaining insight into the original reasons I took it up, and the reasons I continued to smoke, actually did aid me in quitting. For what it's worth anyway :-) my two cents KateHi,I'm currently in counseling for a problem with gambling, specifically poker machines (known as slots in the US).The difficulty is that, while I like my counselor and value our sessions, she wants me to dig into the reasons why I gamble, and why I engage in such a financially destructive behavior.The way I see it, while I can trawl through my brain's memory bank containing my past experiences and come up with a story that makes some kind of sense, it may not be the truth. The story I come up with during counseling might be just a fictional construction influenced by how I feel at the time, and bear no resemblance to the way things really are.Is there any value in digging into our past and trying to make sense of it? And if we manage to do so, does it help us in moving forward?My inclination is to say no, that we can't look back on our past history with any real accuracy, but I'm not sure. My understanding about how the brain works is that it doesn't consist of recorded videos that we can replay at will but that, in the process of reconstructing a memory, it is is malleable and subject to change. The false memory stories that we read about in the media from time to time are classic examples of this.If anyone has any thoughts about this, please let me know.To me, counseling is a two-way process where both parties challenge and learn from each other and arrive at a greater understanding.Cheers,Stan

[Guest guest]

Kate,

Thanks for your feedback (worth a lot more than two cents, BTW).

There's value in pausing to go inside and see what comes up when the gambling

urge hits me. It's just that, being highly skeptical by nature, I want to make

sure that any insight I have is actually true. I'll take what you say on board

and do just that.

It's a bugger sometimes, but my skeptical and inquiring nature is what drives me

and gives my life excitement and meaning. It's born of an immense sense of awe

and wonder at the universe and being alive and able to investigate it all.

Saying it's awesome doesn't do it anything like justice!

Cheers,

Stan

>

> > Hi,

> > I'm currently in counseling for a problem with gambling,

> > specifically poker machines (known as slots in the US).

> >

> > The difficulty is that, while I like my counselor and value our

> > sessions, she wants me to dig into the reasons why I gamble, and why

> > I engage in such a financially destructive behavior.

> >

> > The way I see it, while I can trawl through my brain's memory bank

> > containing my past experiences and come up with a story that makes

> > some kind of sense, it may not be the truth. The story I come up

> > with during counseling might be just a fictional construction

> > influenced by how I feel at the time, and bear no resemblance to the

> > way things really are.

> >

> > Is there any value in digging into our past and trying to make sense

> > of it? And if we manage to do so, does it help us in moving forward?

> >

> > My inclination is to say no, that we can't look back on our past

> > history with any real accuracy, but I'm not sure. My understanding

> > about how the brain works is that it doesn't consist of recorded

> > videos that we can replay at will but that, in the process of

> > reconstructing a memory, it is is malleable and subject to change.

> > The false memory stories that we read about in the media from time

> > to time are classic examples of this.

> >

> > If anyone has any thoughts about this, please let me know.

> >

> > To me, counseling is a two-way process where both parties challenge

> > and learn from each other and arrive at a greater understanding.

> >

> > Cheers,

> > Stan

> >

> >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Lou,

Thank you for your insights.

Based on your post, I'm a social butterfly rather than an analyst. One of the

things I learned from researching poker machines here in Australia is that, by

law, they are totally random. Given this fact, trying to analyze the machines

and beat them is futile. I know that there are no strategies available to beat

the machines.

And yet I keep on playing them.

The answer that comes to mind is that I'm what you call a social butterfly. As

an introvert by nature with a high level of social anxiety, going to a pokie

venues and playing the machines is, for me, a way of interacting with other

people, however superficially. Like the rest of my species, I'm a social animal,

I need to be with other people, and up to now going to pokie venues is the best

way I've found to meet that need.

Sad, yes, but true. And now I realize it, I can make the changes I need to make,

and find new ways to meet the needs that my gambling tries in vsin to satisfy.

Cheers,

Stan

> >

> > > Hi,

> > > I'm currently in counseling for a problem with gambling,

> > > specifically poker machines (known as slots in the US).

> > >

> > > The difficulty is that, while I like my counselor and value our

> > > sessions, she wants me to dig into the reasons why I gamble, and why

> > > I engage in such a financially destructive behavior.

> > >

> > > The way I see it, while I can trawl through my brain's memory bank

> > > containing my past experiences and come up with a story that makes

> > > some kind of sense, it may not be the truth. The story I come up

> > > with during counseling might be just a fictional construction

> > > influenced by how I feel at the time, and bear no resemblance to the

> > > way things really are.

> > >

> > > Is there any value in digging into our past and trying to make sense

> > > of it? And if we manage to do so, does it help us in moving forward?

> > >

> > > My inclination is to say no, that we can't look back on our past

> > > history with any real accuracy, but I'm not sure. My understanding

> > > about how the brain works is that it doesn't consist of recorded

> > > videos that we can replay at will but that, in the process of

> > > reconstructing a memory, it is is malleable and subject to change.

> > > The false memory stories that we read about in the media from time

> > > to time are classic examples of this.

> > >

> > > If anyone has any thoughts about this, please let me know.

> > >

> > > To me, counseling is a two-way process where both parties challenge

> > > and learn from each other and arrive at a greater understanding.

> > >

> > > Cheers,

> > > Stan

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Stan,

I agree with Kate and Lou that it is worthwhile to examine the reasons why you gamble now but not necessarily why you began. As as aside, as far as false memories are concerned, if one believes they are true, then that "memory", false or not, could have an impact on present day functioning. However, I agree with you that digging into past memories to discover your reasons for gambling would be pretty useless.

As Dr. Phil often asks his guests who are repeatedly doing things to hurt their relationships or circumstances, "How's that working for you?" That is a better framework for the question than just asking "why," IMO.

Helena

Re: Do I need to find out why do I do what I do?

Hi Stan,Gambling is one subject that I have lots of experience in having worked in the casino industry. I would definitely second what Kate said, for sure...the reasons you have now are probably more significant than those in the past, unless there has been recurrent triggers I guess. I don't know about that but there are two things that I can share with you...One...everyday when I worked on the ships, the manager directed the slot technician to set the busiest machines to the lowest percentage win. They checked and adjusted everyday Stan, just like clockwork to maximise revenue.Second...observing people in gambling behaviour taught me that there are many different types of gamblers, all of whom gamble in a different way, thus treatment needs to focus on accommodating the individuals behaviour which generally comes from the reason they gamble. (Funny enough). For example, you get the `strategist' who is focused on beating the system and becomes addicted to the challenge of working it all out, or by contrast, there is the `social butterfly' who comes to gamble so as to be able to interact with other humans and perhaps share a connection in the misery of having both lost. There are many types of gamblers, I wonder if you are a strategist with that curiosity of yours? What is your real (deep-seeded) reason for going to sit at a poker machine, to win? to see people you know? to get a break from people you know? to have a few drinks? to relax or zone out? to try and beat the machine? to work out the pattern of how it pays? Why are you there really Stan?I hope you can find your way through the reasons that you gamble, in the here and now.Regards,Lou> > > Hi,> > I'm currently in counseling for a problem with gambling, > > specifically poker machines (known as slots in the US).> >> > The difficulty is that, while I like my counselor and value our > > sessions, she wants me to dig into the reasons why I gamble, and why > > I engage in such a financially destructive behavior.> >> > The way I see it, while I can trawl through my brain's memory bank > > containing my past experiences and come up with a story that makes > > some kind of sense, it may not be the truth. The story I come up > > with during counseling might be just a fictional construction > > influenced by how I feel at the time, and bear no resemblance to the > > way things really are.> >> > Is there any value in digging into our past and trying to make sense > > of it? And if we manage to do so, does it help us in moving forward?> >> > My inclination is to say no, that we can't look back on our past > > history with any real accuracy, but I'm not sure. My understanding > > about how the brain works is that it doesn't consist of recorded > > videos that we can replay at will but that, in the process of > > reconstructing a memory, it is is malleable and subject to change. > > The false memory stories that we read about in the media from time > > to time are classic examples of this.> >> > If anyone has any thoughts about this, please let me know.> >> > To me, counseling is a two-way process where both parties challenge > > and learn from each other and arrive at a greater understanding.> >> > Cheers,> > Stan> >> >> >>

[Guest guest]

Helena,

I like your point about my present beliefs about my past affecting my current

behavior, whether they are true or not. False stories about ourselves are just

as potent as true ones.

Given that I can't analyze the reasons for my behavior with total certainty,

maybe it's best if I concentrate on changing what I do now, instead of trying to

figure out why I do what I do.

I'll raise this with my counsellor to see what she says. It should be an

interesting session!

Cheers,

Stan

> >

> > > Hi,

> > > I'm currently in counseling for a problem with gambling,

> > > specifically poker machines (known as slots in the US).

> > >

> > > The difficulty is that, while I like my counselor and value our

> > > sessions, she wants me to dig into the reasons why I gamble, and why

> > > I engage in such a financially destructive behavior.

> > >

> > > The way I see it, while I can trawl through my brain's memory bank

> > > containing my past experiences and come up with a story that makes

> > > some kind of sense, it may not be the truth. The story I come up

> > > with during counseling might be just a fictional construction

> > > influenced by how I feel at the time, and bear no resemblance to the

> > > way things really are.

> > >

> > > Is there any value in digging into our past and trying to make sense

> > > of it? And if we manage to do so, does it help us in moving forward?

> > >

> > > My inclination is to say no, that we can't look back on our past

> > > history with any real accuracy, but I'm not sure. My understanding

> > > about how the brain works is that it doesn't consist of recorded

> > > videos that we can replay at will but that, in the process of

> > > reconstructing a memory, it is is malleable and subject to change.

> > > The false memory stories that we read about in the media from time

> > > to time are classic examples of this.

> > >

> > > If anyone has any thoughts about this, please let me know.

> > >

> > > To me, counseling is a two-way process where both parties challenge

> > > and learn from each other and arrive at a greater understanding.

> > >

> > > Cheers,

> > > Stan

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

[Guest guest]

Hi Stan,I haven't heard of many cases in which knowing root causes helped people with compulsive addictions like alcohol, drugs or gambling control those behaviors. Often people come into 12-step programs such as Gamblers Anonymous or Alcoholics Anonymous with a long resume (CV to you) of therapeutic interventions and insights gained but little real change to show for it. Best,JimHi,I'm currently in counseling for a problem with gambling, specifically poker machines (known as slots in the US).The difficulty is that, while I like my counselor and value our sessions, she wants me to dig into the reasons why I gamble, and why I engage in such a financially destructive behavior.The way I see it, while I can trawl through my brain's memory bank containing my past experiences and come up with a story that makes some kind of sense, it may not be the truth. The story I come up with during counseling might be just a fictional construction influenced by how I feel at the time, and bear no resemblance to the way things really are.Is there any value in digging into our past and trying to make sense of it? And if we manage to do so, does it help us in moving forward?My inclination is to say no, that we can't look back on our past history with any real accuracy, but I'm not sure. My understanding about how the brain works is that it doesn't consist of recorded videos that we can replay at will but that, in the process of reconstructing a memory, it is is malleable and subject to change. The false memory stories that we read about in the media from time to time are classic examples of this.If anyone has any thoughts about this, please let me know.To me, counseling is a two-way process where both parties challenge and learn from each other and arrive at a greater understanding.Cheers,Stan