Re: Expanding list of problematic noises

[Guest guest]

I can relate. I have misophonia with heavy metal and bass sounds. I had bad neighbors for a year and it was the worst year of my life. Now I absolutely cannot tolerate heavy metal and bass and develop severe anxiety with my heart pounding, feel like I am in danger and just generally am a nut case when it happens -- an absolute feeling of terror.

That is so rude of your neighbors. You're going to have to ask them to stop, at least move the speakers and not play it so loud. Do you have a noise ordinance in your neighborhood? If they won't cooperate when you politely ask them, you may have to call the police. I know it's difficult to do that because you don't want to aleniate them, but they're not thinking of you at all. That's what I had to do.

But I understand totally. Check your neighborhood laws and ask about a noise ordinance. If you have to call them, the neighbors won't know for sure that it's you, will probably suspect, but too bad. I spent one year of my life with sound machines, fans blowing and earplugs and developed severe misophonia to bass noises. Even people that don't have misophonia don't like to heard that crap - pounding bass, etc.

Subject: Expanding list of problematic noisesTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, June 16, 2011, 11:44 AM

I have suffered from 4s or misophonia since I was about 12, but I never knew that a formal condition existed or that I was not simply unusually (and probably crazily) sensitive to sound. Eating, nail flipping, gum cracking in particular are upsetting. However, I am also the daughter of a voice teacher who gave singing lessons in our home. Over the years, I generalized all of the 4s reactions to any kind of singing, whistling etc. This, as you can imagine, was a major problem in my home and I am sure damaged my relationship with my mother, an opera singer. I have made an uneasy peace with my issues in these areas. I avoid certain people and situations etc. However, recently, I fear the situation is becoming worse, and I am unable to distinguish between what might be "normal" irritation from what might be over-reaction due to this condition. I would really appreciate any insight members might have on this, as it is causing problems in my neighborhood.

Briefly, I have new neighbors next door who listen to heavy metal music in their backyard. The speaker is pointed at my house because it is too big to be placed in the window. As a result, all weekend (and now that we have good weather here) all evening, all I hear is a the constant boom, boom of the base from their speakers. I hear the noise in all rooms of my house. I haven't said anything because I don't want to appear nasty, but this is driving me crazy and making me hate my home. My instinct is to consider my reaction irrational becasue I have so many irrational sound irritations. A second problem is that the neighbor across the street has a late-teenaged son who plays basketball with loud friends late at night. I have an 11 year old who should be in bed by 9 or 9:30, but frequently, the basketball bouncing goes on until 10:30 or 11 PM. I approached the boys' mother to ask her to limit the ball bouncing after 9. She was enraged and the situation

was very nasty. At least I did not escalate it, but now, I am concerned that these reactions on my part to the noise are over the top. In short, I know I have irrational reactions to 4s types of noises, but now, I am thinking of moving and have a very poisoned relationship with a neighbor. I am very qworried that my reactions are generalizing to everything and concerned about where this will go. I am 52, and I had thought that sensitivity diminished with age. Any insights would be much appreciated.Johanna

[Guest guest]

Johanna, Just for the record, I do not have 4S (my son does), but it would still make me nuts if I had a next-door neighbor who played loud music (of any kind) with the speaker pointed towards my house, especially all weekend when I would know there would be no relief.  If you have not spoken with them, you can still ask them nicely and somewhat apologetically (just to be diplomatic) and explain that you didn’t say anything before because you really did not want to interfere with their enjoyment of their music and wanted to try to get used to it for that reason, but unfortunately it’s just not working and you’d like them to please face their speakers away from your house and/or turn the volume down a little if they wouldn’t mind (This approach lets them know that you feel bad asking this – even though you shouldn’t since they’re the ones being rude!, but it sometimes leads to more cooperation).  After that, if they react like your other neighbor did, then it’s time to call the authorities to enforce noise ordinances.  There should at least be a cutoff time for noise, such as 10pm (for both neighbors).  You can also continue to call the authorities each and every time the neighbors continue as-is and then they might get concerned about having it on record that the police have been called out to their houses multiple times.  Hopefully you won’t have to escalate though.  From: Soundsensitivity [mailto:Soundsensitivity ] On Behalf Of teresa sarichSent: Thursday, June 16, 2011 10:36 AMTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: Expanding list of problematic noises I can relate. I have misophonia with heavy metal and bass sounds. I had bad neighbors for a year and it was the worst year of my life. Now I absolutely cannot tolerate heavy metal and bass and develop severe anxiety with my heart pounding, feel like I am in danger and just generally am a nut case when it happens -- an absolute feeling of terror. That is so rude of your neighbors. You're going to have to ask them to stop, at least move the speakers and not play it so loud. Do you have a noise ordinance in your neighborhood? If they won't cooperate when you politely ask them, you may have to call the police. I know it's difficult to do that because you don't want to aleniate them, but they're not thinking of you at all. That's what I had to do. But I understand totally. Check your neighborhood laws and ask about a noise ordinance. If you have to call them, the neighbors won't know for sure that it's you, will probably suspect, but too bad. I spent one year of my life with sound machines, fans blowing and earplugs and developed severe misophonia to bass noises. Even people that don't have misophonia don't like to heard that crap - pounding bass, etc.Subject: Expanding list of problematic noisesTo: Soundsensitivity Date: Thursday, June 16, 2011, 11:44 AM I have suffered from 4s or misophonia since I was about 12, but I never knew that a formal condition existed or that I was not simply unusually (and probably crazily) sensitive to sound. Eating, nail flipping, gum cracking in particular are upsetting. However, I am also the daughter of a voice teacher who gave singing lessons in our home. Over the years, I generalized all of the 4s reactions to any kind of singing, whistling etc. This, as you can imagine, was a major problem in my home and I am sure damaged my relationship with my mother, an opera singer. I have made an uneasy peace with my issues in these areas. I avoid certain people and situations etc. However, recently, I fear the situation is becoming worse, and I am unable to distinguish between what might be " normal " irritation from what might be over-reaction due to this condition. I would really appreciate any insight members might have on this, as it is causing problems in my neighborhood. Briefly, I have new neighbors next door who listen to heavy metal music in their backyard. The speaker is pointed at my house because it is too big to be placed in the window. As a result, all weekend (and now that we have good weather here) all evening, all I hear is a the constant boom, boom of the base from their speakers. I hear the noise in all rooms of my house. I haven't said anything because I don't want to appear nasty, but this is driving me crazy and making me hate my home. My instinct is to consider my reaction irrational becasue I have so many irrational sound irritations. A second problem is that the neighbor across the street has a late-teenaged son who plays basketball with loud friends late at night. I have an 11 year old who should be in bed by 9 or 9:30, but frequently, the basketball bouncing goes on until 10:30 or 11 PM. I approached the boys' mother to ask her to limit the ball bouncing after 9. She was enraged and the situation was very nasty. At least I did not escalate it, but now, I am concerned that these reactions on my part to the noise are over the top. In short, I know I have irrational reactions to 4s types of noises, but now, I am thinking of moving and have a very poisoned relationship with a neighbor. I am very qworried that my reactions are generalizing to everything and concerned about where this will go. I am 52, and I had thought that sensitivity diminished with age. Any insights would be much appreciated.Johanna

[Guest guest]

Johanna, I completly understand you.

I work in a restaurant, but the problem is that I have other restaurants next to

mine, and they play music all day long, and I have to stand the bass on and on

and on all day.

Recently I just try not to go outsite to the salon in order to avoid especially

the bass sound comming from next door.

My situation is that it would be totally irrational to go to my neighbor and ask

them to put the volume down...so I preffer to stay in my office an no to go out.

But belive me, I hate every time I listen to that sounds!

.

>

> I have suffered from 4s or misophonia since I was about 12, but I never knew

that a formal condition existed or that I was not simply unusually (and probably

crazily) sensitive to sound. Eating, nail flipping, gum cracking in particular

are upsetting. However, I am also the daughter of a voice teacher who gave

singing lessons in our home. Over the years, I generalized all of the 4s

reactions to any kind of singing, whistling etc. This, as you can imagine, was

a major problem in my home and I am sure damaged my relationship with my mother,

an opera singer. I have made an uneasy peace with my issues in these areas. I

avoid certain people and situations etc. However, recently, I fear the

situation is becoming worse, and I am unable to distinguish between what might

be " normal " irritation from what might be over-reaction due to this condition.

I would really appreciate any insight members might have on this, as it is

causing problems in my neighborhood. Briefly, I have new neighbors next door

who listen to heavy metal music in their backyard. The speaker is pointed at my

house because it is too big to be placed in the window. As a result, all

weekend (and now that we have good weather here) all evening, all I hear is a

the constant boom, boom of the base from their speakers. I hear the noise in

all rooms of my house. I haven't said anything because I don't want to appear

nasty, but this is driving me crazy and making me hate my home. My instinct is

to consider my reaction irrational becasue I have so many irrational sound

irritations. A second problem is that the neighbor across the street has a

late-teenaged son who plays basketball with loud friends late at night. I have

an 11 year old who should be in bed by 9 or 9:30, but frequently, the basketball

bouncing goes on until 10:30 or 11 PM. I approached the boys' mother to ask her

to limit the ball bouncing after 9. She was enraged and the situation was very

nasty. At least I did not escalate it, but now, I am concerned that these

reactions on my part to the noise are over the top. In short, I know I have

irrational reactions to 4s types of noises, but now, I am thinking of moving and

have a very poisoned relationship with a neighbor. I am very qworried that my

reactions are generalizing to everything and concerned about where this will go.

I am 52, and I had thought that sensitivity diminished with age. Any insights

would be much appreciated.

>

> Johanna

>

[Guest guest]

>I am unable to distinguish between what might be " normal " irritation

>I am thinking of moving

Just my 2 cents: If moving is not out of the question it is definitely worth

considering.

I have 4s but have only a moderate case of 4s when it comes to environmental

noises (it's the eating noises that really drive me crazy). I have found having

lived very many places that it does vary from location to location. Not every

place I have lived has been equally noisy.

As to what is " normal " . Unfortunately the basketball bouncing seems to be

culturally accepted. God only knows why. Because it really sucks. As a teenager

I used to sleep with a loud fan on to drown the basketball bouncing from

directly across the street. Also ear plugs help. Although they are not

recommended for " all the time " use, I've found them very helpful for temporary

use. I spent years wearing them at night although I no longer do.

How did I get over my need for nighttime ear plugs ? I (accidentally) moved to a

quieter place.

That's why I think moving is worth considering. I live in an older neighborhood

where the houses are not so close together, our house has brick veneer, and most

of the neighbors are old. Of course I do have the one neighborhood exception

next door, but luckily there is an empty lot between us. Occasionally there are

noises that require ear plugs and a fan but they happen less than once a month.

Most nights I sleep with no fan or earplugs (and 2 doors between me and my

championship snoring husband).

As to the base. I would have to hear it myself but if it's loud enough you could

call the police on your neighbors. For some reason that is not as socially

acceptable as that %* & ^ basketball bouncing. It also depends on the noise

ordances in the town where you live.

Good luck !!!

[Guest guest]

I have te same problem. The thing is I cant even tell out of the 3 noises that

I started to become annoyed came first. Now it is rapidly expanding and I feel

I have no control. I feel that I am just constantly in a state of anxiety that

makes me stress over other sounds. Sometimes I take deep breaths and tell

myself that I dont want it to become worse. I helps in situations that are not

super stressful. It calms me down and I try to gain some control. I dont know

what exactly this is...I HATE IT THOUGH! Even though most of the time I know

that it is out of my hands I try to stay in touch with what I might be able to

control...

Hope this helps,

Dani

>

>

> >I am unable to distinguish between what might be " normal " irritation

> >I am thinking of moving

>

> Just my 2 cents: If moving is not out of the question it is definitely worth

considering.

>

> I have 4s but have only a moderate case of 4s when it comes to environmental

noises (it's the eating noises that really drive me crazy). I have found having

lived very many places that it does vary from location to location. Not every

place I have lived has been equally noisy.

>

> As to what is " normal " . Unfortunately the basketball bouncing seems to be

culturally accepted. God only knows why. Because it really sucks. As a teenager

I used to sleep with a loud fan on to drown the basketball bouncing from

directly across the street. Also ear plugs help. Although they are not

recommended for " all the time " use, I've found them very helpful for temporary

use. I spent years wearing them at night although I no longer do.

>

> How did I get over my need for nighttime ear plugs ? I (accidentally) moved to

a quieter place.

>

> That's why I think moving is worth considering. I live in an older

neighborhood where the houses are not so close together, our house has brick

veneer, and most of the neighbors are old. Of course I do have the one

neighborhood exception next door, but luckily there is an empty lot between us.

Occasionally there are noises that require ear plugs and a fan but they happen

less than once a month. Most nights I sleep with no fan or earplugs (and 2 doors

between me and my championship snoring husband).

>

> As to the base. I would have to hear it myself but if it's loud enough you

could call the police on your neighbors. For some reason that is not as socially

acceptable as that %* & ^ basketball bouncing. It also depends on the noise

ordances in the town where you live.

>

> Good luck !!!

>