Re: Re: Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones

[Guest guest]

Sort of like accepting both types? And even accepting that I like positive thoughts more than I like negative one's? Or banana bread more than prune juice? Or that liking is not the same as needing?D

Jane,

Thank you for your reply. I like being challenged to justify what I say and correct it where I'm wrong.

What I wanted to say was that trying to get rid of an unwanted thought and replace it with what we think is a better one won't work. Chapter two of GOYM goes into some of these issues in detail. Halfway down page 25, you'll find a couple of paragraphs that include references to papers on this topic. The same chapter also makes reference to Dan Wegner's research on the subject.

Re consciously adding positive thoughts to the mix, I'm not sure. Most of the time, my brain is a chaos of all kinds of thoughts, a lot of which is junk. My inclination these days is to try and hold them lightly, even the good ones. I can just as easily have an unrealistically good perception of myself as an unrealistically bad one.

Cheers,

Stan

>

> "trying to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones only makes

> things worse. To use a boxing analogy, our thoughts start slugging it out.

> No wonder we feel like crap"

>

> For us english-second-language types out there, what's slugging out? And is

> there scientific evidence that trying to think good thoughts makes things

> worse? I mean, what if you accept bad thoughts.. OK, I am having a bad day,

> I accept that, but OMG, what a beautiful blooming tree, and this nice old

> lady is smiling at me, and that's a cute puppy, and what was that compliment

> my friend gave me last night? That sort of thing. I mean, what if we try to

> accept that life is hard, accept our negative thoughts, but choose to

> consciously add positive thoughts to the mix, does that hurt?

>

[Guest guest]

Interesting thought.. but then by the same token, why not accept being needy?

 

Sort of like accepting both types? And even accepting that I like positive thoughts more than I like negative one's? Or banana bread more than prune juice? Or that liking is not the same as needing?

D

 

Jane,

Thank you for your reply. I like being challenged to justify what I say and correct it where I'm wrong.

What I wanted to say was that trying to get rid of an unwanted thought and replace it with what we think is a better one won't work. Chapter two of GOYM goes into some of these issues in detail. Halfway down page 25, you'll find a couple of paragraphs that include references to papers on this topic. The same chapter also makes reference to Dan Wegner's research on the subject.

Re consciously adding positive thoughts to the mix, I'm not sure. Most of the time, my brain is a chaos of all kinds of thoughts, a lot of which is junk. My inclination these days is to try and hold them lightly, even the good ones. I can just as easily have an unrealistically good perception of myself as an unrealistically bad one.

Cheers,

Stan

>

> " trying to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones only makes

> things worse. To use a boxing analogy, our thoughts start slugging it out.

> No wonder we feel like crap "

>

> For us english-second-language types out there, what's slugging out? And is

> there scientific evidence that trying to think good thoughts makes things

> worse? I mean, what if you accept bad thoughts.. OK, I am having a bad day,

> I accept that, but OMG, what a beautiful blooming tree, and this nice old

> lady is smiling at me, and that's a cute puppy, and what was that compliment

> my friend gave me last night? That sort of thing. I mean, what if we try to

> accept that life is hard, accept our negative thoughts, but choose to

> consciously add positive thoughts to the mix, does that hurt?

>

[Guest guest]

I agree no point in not accepting it if you feel needy but neediness is not the same as need, is it?

A sense of neediness may have encoouraged me to eat half a large bannock bun today but I didn't really need it!

S

Jane,Thank you for your reply. I like being challenged to justify what I say and correct it where I'm wrong.What I wanted to say was that trying to get rid of an unwanted thought and replace it with what we think is a better one won't work. Chapter two of GOYM goes into some of these issues in detail. Halfway down page 25, you'll find a couple of paragraphs that include references to papers on this topic. The same chapter also makes reference to Dan Wegner's research on the subject.Re consciously adding positive thoughts to the mix, I'm not sure. Most of the time, my brain is a chaos of all kinds of thoughts, a lot of which is junk. My inclination these days is to try and hold them lightly, even the good ones. I can just as easily have an unrealistically good perception of myself as an unrealistically bad one.Cheers,Stan> > "trying to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones only makes> things worse. To use a boxing analogy, our thoughts start slugging it out.> No wonder we feel like crap"> > For us english-second-language types out there, what's slugging out? And is> there scientific evidence that trying to think good thoughts makes things> worse? I mean, what if you accept bad thoughts.. OK, I am having a bad day,> I accept that,

but OMG, what a beautiful blooming tree, and this nice old> lady is smiling at me, and that's a cute puppy, and what was that compliment> my friend gave me last night? That sort of thing. I mean, what if we try to> accept that life is hard, accept our negative thoughts, but choose to> consciously add positive thoughts to the mix, does that hurt?>

[Guest guest]

I agree - got a similar issue with donuts, myself. I just accept it and avoid eating them!DDarrell G King

I agree no point in not accepting it if you feel needy but neediness is not the same as need, is it?

A sense of neediness may have encoouraged me to eat half a large bannock bun today but I didn't really need it!

S

Jane,Thank you for your reply. I like being challenged to justify what I say and correct it where I'm wrong.What I wanted to say was that trying to get rid of an unwanted thought and replace it with what we think is a better one won't work. Chapter two of GOYM goes into some of these issues in detail. Halfway down page 25, you'll find a couple of paragraphs that include references to papers on this topic. The same chapter also makes reference to Dan Wegner's research on the subject.Re consciously adding positive thoughts to the mix, I'm not sure. Most of the time, my brain is a chaos of all kinds of thoughts, a lot of which is junk. My inclination these days is to try and hold them lightly, even the good ones. I can just as easily have an unrealistically good perception of myself as an unrealistically bad one.Cheers,Stan> > "trying to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones only makes> things worse. To use a boxing analogy, our thoughts start slugging it out.> No wonder we feel like crap"> > For us english-second-language types out there, what's slugging out? And is> there scientific evidence that trying to think good thoughts makes things> worse? I mean, what if you accept bad thoughts.. OK, I am having a bad day,> I accept that,

but OMG, what a beautiful blooming tree, and this nice old> lady is smiling at me, and that's a cute puppy, and what was that compliment> my friend gave me last night? That sort of thing. I mean, what if we try to> accept that life is hard, accept our negative thoughts, but choose to> consciously add positive thoughts to the mix, does that hurt?>

[Guest guest]

Hey,Darrell, a fun exchange but also quite important.

As someone with OCD the word avoid is a warning sign for me. It is only a word but then sometimes words are important so I prefer to put it this way: I accept I have an eating issue and choose not to eat doughnuts as a result.

That way I can frame it as a valued action I am capable of taking rather than avoidance of a threatening, anxiety-provoking powerful comforting food item that can get the better of me in its usual sneaky way. It may seem to be iced with the words EAT ME on but I can choose what I say back..

My lesson to myself for the day!

S.

On days where I

Jane,Thank you for your reply. I like being challenged to justify what I say and correct it where I'm wrong.What I wanted to say was that trying to get rid of an unwanted thought and replace it with what we think is a better one won't work. Chapter two of GOYM goes into some of these issues in detail. Halfway down page 25, you'll find a couple of paragraphs that include references to papers on this topic. The same chapter also makes reference to Dan Wegner's research on the subject.Re consciously adding positive thoughts to the mix, I'm not sure. Most of the time, my brain is a chaos of all kinds of thoughts, a lot of which is junk. My inclination these days is to try and hold them lightly, even the good ones. I can just as easily have an unrealistically good perception of myself as an unrealistically bad one.Cheers,Stan> > "trying to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones only makes> things worse. To use a boxing analogy, our thoughts start slugging it out.> No wonder we feel like crap"> > For us english-second-language types out there, what's slugging out? And is> there scientific evidence that trying to think good thoughts makes things> worse? I mean, what if you

accept bad thoughts.. OK, I am having a bad day,> I accept that, but OMG, what a beautiful blooming tree, and this nice old> lady is smiling at me, and that's a cute puppy, and what was that compliment> my friend gave me last night? That sort of thing. I mean, what if we try to> accept that life is hard, accept our negative thoughts, but choose to> consciously add positive thoughts to the mix, does that hurt?>

[Guest guest]

I like that, and I agree! With both parts: the importance of framing - of choosing values rather than avoiding or running from desires - and the fact that pastries use subliminal frosting words to brainwash.I have occasionally thought of addiction as mindless valuing. Despite the difference in motivation, the process of choice seems the same whether it targets a goal or a desire. Framing is just conscious direction of attention...D

Hey,Darrell, a fun exchange but also quite important.

As someone with OCD the word avoid is a warning sign for me. It is only a word but then sometimes words are important so I prefer to put it this way: I accept I have an eating issue and choose not to eat doughnuts as a result.

That way I can frame it as a valued action I am capable of taking rather than avoidance of a threatening, anxiety-provoking powerful comforting food item that can get the better of me in its usual sneaky way. It may seem to be iced with the words EAT ME on but I can choose what I say back..

My lesson to myself for the day!

S.

On days where I

Jane,Thank you for your reply. I like being challenged to justify what I say and correct it where I'm wrong.What I wanted to say was that trying to get rid of an unwanted thought and replace it with what we think is a better one won't work. Chapter two of GOYM goes into some of these issues in detail. Halfway down page 25, you'll find a couple of paragraphs that include references to papers on this topic. The same chapter also makes reference to Dan Wegner's research on the subject.Re consciously adding positive thoughts to the mix, I'm not sure. Most of the time, my brain is a chaos of all kinds of thoughts, a lot of which is junk. My inclination these days is to try and hold them lightly, even the good ones. I can just as easily have an unrealistically good perception of myself as an unrealistically bad one.Cheers,Stan> > "trying to replace our negative thoughts with positive ones only makes> things worse. To use a boxing analogy, our thoughts start slugging it out.> No wonder we feel like crap"> > For us english-second-language types out there, what's slugging out? And is> there scientific evidence that trying to think good thoughts makes things> worse? I mean, what if you

accept bad thoughts.. OK, I am having a bad day,> I accept that, but OMG, what a beautiful blooming tree, and this nice old> lady is smiling at me, and that's a cute puppy, and what was that compliment> my friend gave me last night? That sort of thing. I mean, what if we try to> accept that life is hard, accept our negative thoughts, but choose to> consciously add positive thoughts to the mix, does that hurt?>