Guest guest Posted March 20, 2010 Report Share Posted March 20, 2010 Hey, Jill, Could be why you felt light headed in Mcs was because of the strong front that has come through. That stuff really affects me BIG time. I have been dizzy, fuzzy, stopped up until this morning. Are you getting the freeze like we are in Austin?? We had plants out yesterday plus seeds then we heard the freeze was coming in. We had to cover everything with sheets of fabric and plastic. Subject: Re: Fibromyalgia To: fibromyalgiacured Date: Saturday, March 20, 2010, 8:38 PM Â I got home 3 am this morning. Had an adventurous ride due to hitting a blizzard, sheet lightning, sleet, snow, strong winds blowing the snow into white out. We couldn't see more than 5 feet in front of us, but we couldn't stop due to lack of preparation - had a kid and a small dog with us in the cab of the truck. I found out some good things re my releasing situation and someone who will pick up my left-overs before I move so I can clean really well. I helped the man with unloading his truck and some other stuff because there was no one on the Fort Worth side of the trip to help him . I feel fairly good. My feet hurt badly while I was there - I just can't go flat-footed shoeless any more. I had such pain in my ankles and feet from that. I found some shoes to wear in their house so I won't be tracking in from outdoors. I did find a good place to live it's quite close to where I work, so they can pick me up without a lot of hassle. I will be able to share food and supplies with my house mate. We also agreed that I would cook 3 days and she would cook 3 days - we both want to reduce the fat on our bodies so we will agree on a plan. I'm close to the things I usually go to - like library and food stores and I can take safe walks and bike rides. Now I just have to get my body limber enough to handle that. I've got a hot lavender bath ready. Jill in TX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted March 21, 2010 Report Share Posted March 21, 2010 Oh, yeah that too. I'm glad to be on the other side of the storms today. My daughter told me she had snow in DFW area last night. So kids went out to get some of the big flakes on their tongues. I have some good ideas on how to set up my bedroom. It is small but it will work well for me. Luckily I have a love seat that converts to a single bed - and the cats are used to sleeping all over it. Dark blue with some red, yellow and light blue tiny stripes on it. So I can keep to my color choices. I love bright, jewel tones - that helps me feel more lively. A friend took me out for steak last night for a belated birthday. I was even able to get ready for a 12-step assignment. I got my plans in place, this is the sabbath, so I will rest and refresh myself today and begin the sorting and packing Monday. Jill in TX > > > > Subject: Re: Fibromyalgia > To: fibromyalgiacured > Date: Saturday, March 20, 2010, 8:38 PM > > > Â > > > > I got home 3 am this morning. Had an adventurous ride due to hitting a blizzard, sheet lightning, sleet, snow, strong winds blowing the snow into white out. We couldn't see more than 5 feet in front of us, but we couldn't stop due to lack of preparation - had a kid and a small dog with us in the cab of the truck. > > I found out some good things re my releasing situation and someone who will pick up my left-overs before I move so I can clean really well. > > I helped the man with unloading his truck and some other stuff because there was no one on the Fort Worth side of the trip to help him . > > I feel fairly good. My feet hurt badly while I was there - I just can't go flat-footed shoeless any more. I had such pain in my ankles and feet from that. I found some shoes to wear in their house so I won't be tracking in from outdoors. > > I did find a good place to live it's quite close to where I work, so they can pick me up without a lot of hassle. I will be able to share food and supplies with my house mate. We also agreed that I would cook 3 days and she would cook 3 days - we both want to reduce the fat on our bodies so we will agree on a plan. I'm close to the things I usually go to - like library and food stores and I can take safe walks and bike rides. Now I just have to get my body limber enough to handle that. > > I've got a hot lavender bath ready. > > Jill in TX > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2010 Report Share Posted August 6, 2010 I got some information or a revelation from a couple of my alter personalities - some of the younger ones refuse to comply with reducing or getting off of sugar. I listened in as they went to the candy machine - they don't want the body to lose weight - they don't want us to feel attractive or to be attractive to males because they are afraid we will be hurt again. A lot of my other alters are willing to do the low carb eating, and do movement and learn how to take better care of the body. But there are some of the others who are very afraid and angry and will sabotage any actions to get off of sugar. They think that FM and it's symptoms are better for us to have than being hurt like we have in the past.(Childhood trauma, men being dangerous to us - rape, people we loved trying to kill us - really bad things happening, being betrayed by trusted people. Really, really hard. So scared - They are trying to keep us safe and they think that the pain of FM etc and all the symptoms are helping us to stay safe and keep men away from us. They are adamant about it. I don't know of a way to let them know how old we are and that there are few acceptable to us men available - the likelihood of meeting anyone is so slim as to be non-existent even if I got to looking good. They see the body, but are aware that even when fat - we got raped so nothing is safe. They don't seem to comprehend how FM has a negative impact on our life - they want us to stay - again the word safe is in my head - as in inside - not being out in life - now available socially or emotionally or any way so people (not just males don't hurt us). Just another complication for me when I try to commit to doing better for myself. I can only do the best I can at any given moment. But I feel like crying now as there is so much conflict and then the feelings get shut off. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 6, 2010 Report Share Posted August 6, 2010 Hi Jill, I am so sorry that you have gone through so much in your life. How long have you had multiple personalities? Is there one personality that can be the protective adult? that will take care of the younger ones when they are scared and let them know that they are safe? do you know when one personality takes over another? and how do you differentiate between them? I don't mean to pry and don't answer if you don't want to. nne > > > I got some information or a revelation from a couple of my alter > personalities - some of the younger ones refuse to comply with reducing or > getting off of sugar. I listened in as they went to the candy machine - they > don't want the body to lose weight - they don't want us to feel attractive > or to be attractive to males because they are afraid we will be hurt again. > > A lot of my other alters are willing to do the low carb eating, and do > movement and learn how to take better care of the body. But there are some > of the others who are very afraid and angry and will sabotage any actions to > get off of sugar. > > They think that FM and it's symptoms are better for us to have than being > hurt like we have in the past.(Childhood trauma, men being dangerous to us - > rape, people we loved trying to kill us - really bad things happening, being > betrayed by trusted people. Really, really hard. So scared - > > They are trying to keep us safe and they think that the pain of FM etc and > all the symptoms are helping us to stay safe and keep men away from us. They > are adamant about it. I don't know of a way to let them know how old we are > and that there are few acceptable to us men available - the likelihood of > meeting anyone is so slim as to be non-existent even if I got to looking > good. They see the body, but are aware that even when fat - we got raped so > nothing is safe. > > They don't seem to comprehend how FM has a negative impact on our life - > they want us to stay - again the word safe is in my head - as in inside - > not being out in life - now available socially or emotionally or any way so > people (not just males don't hurt us). > > Just another complication for me when I try to commit to doing better for > myself. I can only do the best I can at any given moment. But I feel like > crying now as there is so much conflict and then the feelings get shut off. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2010 Report Share Posted August 8, 2010 I've had this most of my life - I've investigated in therapy and believe it began as an infant born 1946 - very low birth weight and the invasive procedures done to keep me alive were so frightening and painful that I learned this skill - it has served me well so I could keep alive during the abuse that happened later on. I did a lot of work while in PTSS with therapy etc for about 10 - 12 years - I had problems with low paying jobs, so now that I have a chance to work from home and make more money to take care of myself, I really resent it when the others interfere and take time from that task. I also tend to feel guilty if I take time to say clean house or prepare meals instead of working - We have to remember about self-forgiveness and releasing resentments so to not get too angry with ourselves. Right now my situation is that I had thought that I didn't have but 2 alters - an original child and an integrated adult, but about 6 months ago, I began to realize that others were doing tasks that " I " wasn't participating in - I seemed to be watching from one step back or watching them do it from behind the eyes. Nothing evil or bad for me - the first one I noticed was one adult who didn't speak who would do meal planning, shopping and mass cooking so we could have meals. Mostly there is cooperation among us -- The count so far is 21 active alters. This weekend they have just wanted to watch tv and chill out, but there is work to complete so we can support ourselves and so I think they have wasted time watching movies. I sometimes use a flylady timer so groups or individuals get time " out " . We also have co-consciousness where we share hearing and seeing and acting in the outside world. I have to the best of my understanding: Below the age of 5: 4 female alters, 5 - 10 years old : 2 female alters, 11 - 15 years old 1 female alter, 15 to 20 years old: 2 females alters, 20 - 30 years old : 10 alters, between 31-40 years of age: 1 alter. a 60 year old female. All alters are females. Your question has helped me to delineate who belongs to what age group, so thanks for that: I hadn't had the count so that can be passed to the therapist. Jill in TX > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 8, 2010 Report Share Posted August 8, 2010 Can you work it to where the more nurturing and secure adults can actual re-parent the children so that they will feel loved and safe? At times when an alter takes over, are you in a dissociated state--kind of separate from your body? How do you differentiate the alters, like know when one has switched to another? Again, if you are not comfortable answering, then don't. As related to fibromyalgia, does your body feel the same as far as symptoms go with all the alters? Is there one that might feel more healthy than the others? I am sorry that I ask so many questions, I am genuinely interested in you--not trying to be a bother or be hurtful by any means. I am interested in you and others who may be different than I, but similar in some respects, because you help me to learn more about myself and who God has created me to be. I become a better and more loving person because of others. nne > > > I've had this most of my life - I've investigated in therapy and believe it > began as an infant born 1946 - very low birth weight and the invasive > procedures done to keep me alive were so frightening and painful that I > learned this skill - it has served me well so I could keep alive during the > abuse that happened later on. > > I did a lot of work while in PTSS with therapy etc for about 10 - 12 years > - I had problems with low paying jobs, so now that I have a chance to work > from home and make more money to take care of myself, I really resent it > when the others interfere and take time from that task. I also tend to feel > guilty if I take time to say clean house or prepare meals instead of working > - We have to remember about self-forgiveness and releasing resentments so to > not get too angry with ourselves. > > Right now my situation is that I had thought that I didn't have but 2 > alters - an original child and an integrated adult, but about 6 months ago, > I began to realize that others were doing tasks that " I " wasn't > participating in - I seemed to be watching from one step back or watching > them do it from behind the eyes. Nothing evil or bad for me - the first one > I noticed was one adult who didn't speak who would do meal planning, > shopping and mass cooking so we could have meals. > > Mostly there is cooperation among us -- The count so far is 21 active > alters. This weekend they have just wanted to watch tv and chill out, but > there is work to complete so we can support ourselves and so I think they > have wasted time watching movies. > > I sometimes use a flylady timer so groups or individuals get time " out " . We > also have co-consciousness where we share hearing and seeing and acting in > the outside world. > > I have to the best of my understanding: Below the age of 5: 4 female > alters, 5 - 10 years old : 2 female alters, 11 - 15 years old 1 female > alter, 15 to 20 years old: 2 females alters, 20 - 30 years old : 10 alters, > between 31-40 years of age: 1 alter. a 60 year old female. All alters are > females. > > Your question has helped me to delineate who belongs to what age group, so > thanks for that: I hadn't had the count so that can be passed to the > therapist. > > Jill in TX > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest guest Posted August 9, 2010 Report Share Posted August 9, 2010 The teens have volunteered to take some of the pain, but the rest of us feel it. I have found that doing some walking even if initially painful gets the blood circulating and I end up with less pain. My concern right now is the lack of compliance with doing the Fatigued to Fantastic protocol and not eating or cooking for ourselves. I have lots of food available, just don't want to cook. I will have an appointment near the end of this month with a low-income care medical treatment facility and find out if I need to have someone help me get meals done. I've done that professionally for other people in the past, so I know it's available - just not currently affordable. In the past, I've used self-hypnosis to deal with things, making my own tapes etc. I may have to get an old-style cassette player and recorder to do that again as the internal organization is different. Some take emotional pain/ I'm just cut off from it. The younger ones may have lived nearly as long as the body has been a live - and some of the older alters may be in actual experience younger. Of course the joke is that people tend to " feel " as if they are in their 20's or at their prime no matter what their age is - that is just common to humans. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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