Re: Re: For the New Spouses

[Guest guest]

Greg.I have been guilty of that. Still, there is the sense that if I just go with everyone else's flow and never try to understand what happened, then it is something that will work for a week or an evening or an occasion, but I cannot take it with me. If I can examine it enough to understand it, and frequently I can- carefully and slowly with willing input from others- and then I can apply it in the future. I am learning that there is a big picture, even if I cannot see it- and that if I keep trying to look, it will either become clear on its own, or I can ask others for help. Still, it is so easy to take the lazy way out and not ask for that help. (Well, lazy to me.)To: aspires-relationships Sent: Wed, May 25, 2011 11:43:41 PMSubject: Re: Re: For the New Spouses

,

It is very much a case of not being

open or flexible to those other influences, but the need to work things

out ourselves is very compelling. In some ways it is a bit frightening

to take things on faith rather than thinking them through. Need to

be aware here that our assumptions about what we finally decide on are

not flawed as that leads to the wrong choice or direction. Being

open to doubt and seek further input from others is what we often ignore

doing.

Greg dx AS at 53

From:

Princess

To:

aspires-relationships

Date:

26/05/2011 12:41 PM

Subject:

Re:

Re: For the New Spouses

Sent by:

aspires-relationships

Helen and Greg,

I have experienced this same thing, and sometimes it has had a downside

for me as well- I am learning to re-evaluate everything in terms of not

just letting this subtext dictate, but looking beyond it to play out different

choices, rather than eliminate the ones that seem to be following the crowd

out of hand. Thanks for posting.

To: aspires-relationships

Sent: Wed, May 25, 2011 9:49:38 PM

Subject: Re: For the New Spouses

Hi Greg,

Thank you for your take on this. I gain a lot of insight from your posts,

but feel sad that such insights have come at great cost to you.

I continually have to check myself for that "my way" thinking

too, and really "hear" what others are communicating. When I

am am not so caught up in anxiety and feeling under threat, that I am unable

to take on board anything going on outside my own extremities, and I can

let myself be infused with others feelings, and ideas, I feel better.

- Helen

>

> << I do believe though, that because AS can tend to get focused

on

> special interests, that if sex addiction or other deviant behavior

> becomes their special interest, it can be more problematic, and

> certainly create more problems for them. >>

>

> Not only that, I can see visual porn becoming an obsession with lots

of

> AS men because it allows them to channel their sexuality in a way

where

> they don't encounter the pressure of interacting emotionally with

> another human being.

>

> This topic has been discussed at length in forums for NT women partnered

> with AS men. Many of these men have withdrawn from their spouses

> sexually, yet continue to have a very active sex life with their

> computers where no one can make any demands of them and all of the

sex

> is solely on their terms.

>

> Not sure what you mean by "deviant behavior", so I can't

comment. Are

> you referring to consentual alternative sexualities like fetishism

> and/or BDSM, or something along more criminal lines like pedophilia?

>

> << There has been some work done on young AS people and sexuality.

I

> believe Newland has linked some articles by Isabelle Hunault

> (probably mis-spelling her name here, too tired to look up.) Others,

> such as Meyer, has also commented extensively on this. >>

>

> Helen, if you have any links that you care to share, I would appreciate

> knowing about them. Meanwhile, I'll do some googling on my own.

>

> << I think that like NT women, AS women are less likely to find

any

> interest in porn or having a "roving eye" because women's

brains are

> simply wired differently and there is a biological reason for that.

I've

> also often thought that AS women in particular are probably less

> inclined to be find much to get excited about in photographic imagines

> of men we don't know, period. >>

>

> I think it depends on the woman and the nature of the pornography.

Most

> porn leaves me cold, yet not all porn.

>

> << I was certainly old enough to be afflicted with that, and

their music

> was very new and exciting (it still stands the test of time IMHO)

but as

> far as the hysteria surrounding them, I just thought, "how dumb."

> Really, it's not like I was ever going to meet these celebrities,

and

> furthermore, I didn't know a thing about them as people. >>

>

> I'm with you, Helen. I don't get it either.

>

> << I can certainly appreciate that some male celebrities are

very

> attractive, but, why young women practically swoon over them, I don't

> get it. >>

>

> Mass hysteria accounts for a good bit of the collective swooning seen

in

> news reports of Beatlemania. The mechanics of that have very little

to

> do with The Fab Four themselves.

>

> There is also a show business element to a lot of that crazy screaming

> behavior. Record companies have been known to seed the crowd with

young

> women charged to intentionally create the sort of emotional climate

that

> others will emulate. It only takes a few girls to kick off the frenzy.

>

> << My husband and I concluded perhaps that's an AS girl thing.

The AS

> girls and young women I've known seem more sensible compared to their

> peers, although, alas, that seems to create social difficulty for

them

> as then they have less in common with their peers. >>

>

> I don't think it's an issue of being sensible as much as it's one

where

> the AS girls may be less likely to mimic (in this case teen) cultural

> cues. Otherwise, I agree.

>

> << I would be interested to hear from both AS and NT women on

this one. >>

>

> No celebrity crushes for me, sorry. However, my AS sister was a Donny

> Osmond and Bobby Sherman addict big time. Blech.

>

> I guess I just don't tend to respond emotionally to that which is

> inaccessible to me. Same reason I don't go to open houses for luxury

> real estate that is far beyond my financial reach. Seems like a waste

> of time (not to mention a recipe for envy) to me.

>

> Good topic, Helen.

>

> Best,

> ~CJ

>

[Guest guest]

> We both have to decide if we want the relationship to continue for that

> to happen I guess.

Dunno, the purpose of the therapy is to see if you can rescue the

relationship, isn't it? How can anyone make a decision like that before

they've tried the therapy? Sounds like you're getting into a chicken

and egg situation there.

I guess there's going to have to be some small compromise somewhere if

only on a short-term experimental basis, otherwise it's chicken and egg

stalemate.

[Guest guest]

Quite right what you say . Weare working through it. My wife by the way is an exceptionally giftedperson who has had her own self esteem badly affected by the issues livingwith someone who is AS. She has had to metamorphose and become someonedifferent to cope and that has its own consequences. Because of mysocial disinclinations she has been forced to live the same way as herAS spouse. Not good if you crave social company. Greg dx AS at 53To: aspires-relationships Date: 26/05/2011 03:13 PMSubject: Re: Re: For the New SpousesSent by: aspires-relationships > We both have to decide if we want the relationship to continue forthat> to happen I guess.Dunno, the purpose of the therapy is to see if you can rescue the relationship, isn't it? How can anyone make a decision like that beforethey've tried the therapy? Sounds like you're getting into a chicken and egg situation there.I guess there's going to have to be some small compromise somewhere ifonly on a short-term experimental basis, otherwise it's chicken and eggstalemate.

[Guest guest]

,Big picture is important. I believethat AS folk sometimes due to their inflexibility and due to their narrowinterests often find it difficult to see the big picture. For instance,relationships are multifaceted and being able to experience and appreciatethe different facets requires a broader appreciation of what the relationshipis about, why it developed, and where it needs to go. That requiresa lot of discussion and sharing, and if the narrowness of our interestsprecludes that it has a detrimental effect.Greg dx AS at 53To: aspires-relationships Date: 26/05/2011 03:05 PMSubject: Re: Re: For the New SpousesSent by: aspires-relationships Greg.I have been guilty of that. Still, there is the sense that if I justgo with everyone else's flow and never try to understand what happened,then it is something that will work for a week or an evening or an occasion,but I cannot take it with me. If I can examine it enough to understandit, and frequently I can- carefully and slowly with willing input fromothers- and then I can apply it in the future. I am learning thatthere is a big picture, even if I cannot see it- and that if I keep tryingto look, it will either become clear on its own, or I can ask others forhelp. Still, it is so easy to take the lazy way out and not ask forthat help. (Well, lazy to me.)To: aspires-relationships Sent: Wed, May 25, 2011 11:43:41 PMSubject: Re: Re: For the New Spouses ,It is very much a case of not being open or flexible to those other influences,but the need to work things out ourselves is very compelling. Insome ways it is a bit frightening to take things on faith rather than thinkingthem through. Need to be aware here that our assumptions about whatwe finally decide on are not flawed as that leads to the wrong choice ordirection. Being open to doubt and seek further input from othersis what we often ignore doing. Greg dx AS at 53To: aspires-relationships Date: 26/05/201112:41 PM Subject: Re: Re: For the New SpousesSent by: aspires-relationships Helen and Greg,I have experienced this same thing, and sometimes it has had a downsidefor me as well- I am learning to re-evaluate everything in terms of notjust letting this subtext dictate, but looking beyond it to play out differentchoices, rather than eliminate the ones that seem to be following the crowdout of hand. Thanks for posting. To: aspires-relationships Sent: Wed, May 25, 2011 9:49:38 PMSubject: Re: For the New Spouses Hi Greg, Thank you for your take on this. I gain a lot of insight from your posts,but feel sad that such insights have come at great cost to you.I continually have to check myself for that " my way " thinkingtoo, and really " hear " what others are communicating. When Iam am not so caught up in anxiety and feeling under threat, that I am unableto take on board anything going on outside my own extremities, and I canlet myself be infused with others feelings, and ideas, I feel better.- Helen> > << I do believe though, that because AS can tend to get focusedon > special interests, that if sex addiction or other deviant behavior> becomes their special interest, it can be more problematic, and > certainly create more problems for them. >>> > Not only that, I can see visual porn becoming an obsession with lotsof > AS men because it allows them to channel their sexuality in a waywhere > they don't encounter the pressure of interacting emotionally with> another human being.> > This topic has been discussed at length in forums for NT women partnered> with AS men. Many of these men have withdrawn from their spouses > sexually, yet continue to have a very active sex life with their > computers where no one can make any demands of them and all of thesex > is solely on their terms.> > Not sure what you mean by " deviant behavior " , so I can'tcomment. Are > you referring to consentual alternative sexualities like fetishism> and/or BDSM, or something along more criminal lines like pedophilia?> > << There has been some work done on young AS people and sexuality.I > believe Newland has linked some articles by Isabelle Hunault> (probably mis-spelling her name here, too tired to look up.) Others,> such as Meyer, has also commented extensively on this. >>> > Helen, if you have any links that you care to share, I would appreciate> knowing about them. Meanwhile, I'll do some googling on my own.> > << I think that like NT women, AS women are less likely to findany > interest in porn or having a " roving eye " because women'sbrains are > simply wired differently and there is a biological reason for that.I've > also often thought that AS women in particular are probably less > inclined to be find much to get excited about in photographic imagines> of men we don't know, period. >>> > I think it depends on the woman and the nature of the pornography.Most > porn leaves me cold, yet not all porn.> > << I was certainly old enough to be afflicted with that, andtheir music > was very new and exciting (it still stands the test of time IMHO)but as > far as the hysteria surrounding them, I just thought, " how dumb. " > Really, it's not like I was ever going to meet these celebrities,and > furthermore, I didn't know a thing about them as people. >>> > I'm with you, Helen. I don't get it either.> > << I can certainly appreciate that some male celebrities arevery > attractive, but, why young women practically swoon over them, I don't> get it. >>> > Mass hysteria accounts for a good bit of the collective swooning seenin > news reports of Beatlemania. The mechanics of that have very littleto > do with The Fab Four themselves.> > There is also a show business element to a lot of that crazy screaming> behavior. Record companies have been known to seed the crowd withyoung > women charged to intentionally create the sort of emotional climatethat > others will emulate. It only takes a few girls to kick off the frenzy.> > << My husband and I concluded perhaps that's an AS girl thing.The AS > girls and young women I've known seem more sensible compared to their> peers, although, alas, that seems to create social difficulty forthem > as then they have less in common with their peers. >>> > I don't think it's an issue of being sensible as much as it's onewhere > the AS girls may be less likely to mimic (in this case teen) cultural> cues. Otherwise, I agree.> > << I would be interested to hear from both AS and NT women onthis one. >>> > No celebrity crushes for me, sorry. However, my AS sister was a Donny> Osmond and Bobby Sherman addict big time. Blech.> > I guess I just don't tend to respond emotionally to that which is> inaccessible to me. Same reason I don't go to open houses for luxury> real estate that is far beyond my financial reach. Seems like a waste> of time (not to mention a recipe for envy) to me.> > Good topic, Helen.> > Best,> ~CJ>

[Guest guest]

Greg,I think I know what you mean. Sometimes, I believe that the other person is saying that it is an either/ or situation, whereas if I wait and ask questions rather than getting worried about this either' or situation that I perceive, when it is not really like that, I will find out that things are all right. This is the kind of black-and-white thinking I have had to ask for help with: when I see that things lie on a continuum, often it is because I am going only along one dimension where there are many others that will work. My asking for sharing is kind of new- before I acknowledged being AS I did much less of this. Sometimes the other person will share too, and I need that sharing. Is this along the lines you mean?To: aspires-relationships Sent: Thu, May 26, 2011 1:57:51 AMSubject: Re: Re: For the New Spouses

,

Big picture is important. I believe

that AS folk sometimes due to their inflexibility and due to their narrow

interests often find it difficult to see the big picture. For instance,

relationships are multifaceted and being able to experience and appreciate

the different facets requires a broader appreciation of what the relationship

is about, why it developed, and where it needs to go. That requires

a lot of discussion and sharing, and if the narrowness of our interests

precludes that it has a detrimental effect.

Greg dx AS at 53

From:

Princess

To:

aspires-relationships

Date:

26/05/2011 03:05 PM

Subject:

Re:

Re: For the New Spouses

Sent by:

aspires-relationships

Greg.

I have been guilty of that. Still, there is the sense that if I just

go with everyone else's flow and never try to understand what happened,

then it is something that will work for a week or an evening or an occasion,

but I cannot take it with me. If I can examine it enough to understand

it, and frequently I can- carefully and slowly with willing input from

others- and then I can apply it in the future. I am learning that

there is a big picture, even if I cannot see it- and that if I keep trying

to look, it will either become clear on its own, or I can ask others for

help. Still, it is so easy to take the lazy way out and not ask for

that help. (Well, lazy to me.)

To: aspires-relationships

Sent: Wed, May 25, 2011 11:43:41 PM

Subject: Re: Re: For the New Spouses

,

It is very much a case of not being open or flexible to those other influences,

but the need to work things out ourselves is very compelling. In

some ways it is a bit frightening to take things on faith rather than thinking

them through. Need to be aware here that our assumptions about what

we finally decide on are not flawed as that leads to the wrong choice or

direction. Being open to doubt and seek further input from others

is what we often ignore doing.

Greg dx AS at 53

From: Princess

To: aspires-relationships

Date: 26/05/2011

12:41 PM

Subject: Re:

Re: For the New Spouses

Sent by: aspires-relationships

Helen and Greg,

I have experienced this same thing, and sometimes it has had a downside

for me as well- I am learning to re-evaluate everything in terms of not

just letting this subtext dictate, but looking beyond it to play out different

choices, rather than eliminate the ones that seem to be following the crowd

out of hand. Thanks for posting.

To: aspires-relationships

Sent: Wed, May 25, 2011 9:49:38 PM

Subject: Re: For the New Spouses

Hi Greg,

Thank you for your take on this. I gain a lot of insight from your posts,

but feel sad that such insights have come at great cost to you.

I continually have to check myself for that "my way" thinking

too, and really "hear" what others are communicating. When I

am am not so caught up in anxiety and feeling under threat, that I am unable

to take on board anything going on outside my own extremities, and I can

let myself be infused with others feelings, and ideas, I feel better.

- Helen

>

> << I do believe though, that because AS can tend to get focused

on

> special interests, that if sex addiction or other deviant behavior

> becomes their special interest, it can be more problematic, and

> certainly create more problems for them. >>

>

> Not only that, I can see visual porn becoming an obsession with lots

of

> AS men because it allows them to channel their sexuality in a way

where

> they don't encounter the pressure of interacting emotionally with

> another human being.

>

> This topic has been discussed at length in forums for NT women partnered

> with AS men. Many of these men have withdrawn from their spouses

> sexually, yet continue to have a very active sex life with their

> computers where no one can make any demands of them and all of the

sex

> is solely on their terms.

>

> Not sure what you mean by "deviant behavior", so I can't

comment. Are

> you referring to consentual alternative sexualities like fetishism

> and/or BDSM, or something along more criminal lines like pedophilia?

>

> << There has been some work done on young AS people and sexuality.

I

> believe Newland has linked some articles by Isabelle Hunault

> (probably mis-spelling her name here, too tired to look up.) Others,

> such as Meyer, has also commented extensively on this. >>

>

> Helen, if you have any links that you care to share, I would appreciate

> knowing about them. Meanwhile, I'll do some googling on my own.

>

> << I think that like NT women, AS women are less likely to find

any

> interest in porn or having a "roving eye" because women's

brains are

> simply wired differently and there is a biological reason for that.

I've

> also often thought that AS women in particular are probably less

> inclined to be find much to get excited about in photographic imagines

> of men we don't know, period. >>

>

> I think it depends on the woman and the nature of the pornography.

Most

> porn leaves me cold, yet not all porn.

>

> << I was certainly old enough to be afflicted with that, and

their music

> was very new and exciting (it still stands the test of time IMHO)

but as

> far as the hysteria surrounding them, I just thought, "how dumb."

> Really, it's not like I was ever going to meet these celebrities,

and

> furthermore, I didn't know a thing about them as people. >>

>

> I'm with you, Helen. I don't get it either.

>

> << I can certainly appreciate that some male celebrities are

very

> attractive, but, why young women practically swoon over them, I don't

> get it. >>

>

> Mass hysteria accounts for a good bit of the collective swooning seen

in

> news reports of Beatlemania. The mechanics of that have very little

to

> do with The Fab Four themselves.

>

> There is also a show business element to a lot of that crazy screaming

> behavior. Record companies have been known to seed the crowd with

young

> women charged to intentionally create the sort of emotional climate

that

> others will emulate. It only takes a few girls to kick off the frenzy.

>

> << My husband and I concluded perhaps that's an AS girl thing.

The AS

> girls and young women I've known seem more sensible compared to their

> peers, although, alas, that seems to create social difficulty for

them

> as then they have less in common with their peers. >>

>

> I don't think it's an issue of being sensible as much as it's one

where

> the AS girls may be less likely to mimic (in this case teen) cultural

> cues. Otherwise, I agree.

>

> << I would be interested to hear from both AS and NT women on

this one. >>

>

> No celebrity crushes for me, sorry. However, my AS sister was a Donny

> Osmond and Bobby Sherman addict big time. Blech.

>

> I guess I just don't tend to respond emotionally to that which is

> inaccessible to me. Same reason I don't go to open houses for luxury

> real estate that is far beyond my financial reach. Seems like a waste

> of time (not to mention a recipe for envy) to me.

>

> Good topic, Helen.

>

> Best,

> ~CJ

>

[Guest guest]

,What you wrote is consistent with whatI am getting at. From my perspective I am not always open to otherways of thinking about something that is still congruent with the big picturebut because I start getting into the detailed level of thinking I ignoreor do not observe and admit that it is valid. Big picture wise anoutcome can be a product of different ways to achieve.it. Then too, from an NT perspective whileoutcomes are important, the process for them is also important, while inmy view the outcome or goal is the focus and the process to achieve itis the most efficient. This is where NT folk can have multiple expectationsabout an outcome, say, go to the beach, but lets stop off and pick up soand so and have dinner on the way, while my immediate reaction is driveto the beach and not have those other parallel agenda items thought about. Does that make sense?Greg dx AS at 53To: aspires-relationships Date: 27/05/2011 06:38 AMSubject: Re: Re: For the New SpousesSent by: aspires-relationships Greg,I think I know what you mean. Sometimes, I believe that the otherperson is saying that it is an either/ or situation, whereas if I waitand ask questions rather than getting worried about this either' or situationthat I perceive, when it is not really like that, I will find out thatthings are all right. This is the kind of black-and-white thinkingI have had to ask for help with: when I see that things lie on acontinuum, often it is because I am going only along one dimension wherethere are many others that will work. My asking for sharing is kindof new- before I acknowledged being AS I did much less of this. Sometimesthe other person will share too, and I need that sharing. Is thisalong the lines you mean?To: aspires-relationships Sent: Thu, May 26, 2011 1:57:51 AMSubject: Re: Re: For the New Spouses ,Big picture is important. I believe that AS folk sometimes due totheir inflexibility and due to their narrow interests often find it difficultto see the big picture. For instance, relationships are multifacetedand being able to experience and appreciate the different facets requiresa broader appreciation of what the relationship is about, why it developed,and where it needs to go. That requires a lot of discussion and sharing,and if the narrowness of our interests precludes that it has a detrimentaleffect. Greg dx AS at 53 To: aspires-relationships Date: 26/05/201103:05 PM Subject: Re: Re: For the New SpousesSent by: aspires-relationships Greg.I have been guilty of that. Still, there is the sense that if I justgo with everyone else's flow and never try to understand what happened,then it is something that will work for a week or an evening or an occasion,but I cannot take it with me. If I can examine it enough to understandit, and frequently I can- carefully and slowly with willing input fromothers- and then I can apply it in the future. I am learning thatthere is a big picture, even if I cannot see it- and that if I keep tryingto look, it will either become clear on its own, or I can ask others forhelp. Still, it is so easy to take the lazy way out and not ask forthat help. (Well, lazy to me.) To: aspires-relationships Sent: Wed, May 25, 2011 11:43:41 PMSubject: Re: Re: For the New Spouses ,It is very much a case of not being open or flexible to those other influences,but the need to work things out ourselves is very compelling. Insome ways it is a bit frightening to take things on faith rather than thinkingthem through. Need to be aware here that our assumptions about whatwe finally decide on are not flawed as that leads to the wrong choice ordirection. Being open to doubt and seek further input from othersis what we often ignore doing. Greg dx AS at 53To: aspires-relationships Date: 26/05/201112:41 PM Subject: Re: Re: For the New SpousesSent by: aspires-relationships Helen and Greg,I have experienced this same thing, and sometimes it has had a downsidefor me as well- I am learning to re-evaluate everything in terms of notjust letting this subtext dictate, but looking beyond it to play out differentchoices, rather than eliminate the ones that seem to be following the crowdout of hand. Thanks for posting. To: aspires-relationships Sent: Wed, May 25, 2011 9:49:38 PMSubject: Re: For the New Spouses Hi Greg, Thank you for your take on this. I gain a lot of insight from your posts,but feel sad that such insights have come at great cost to you.I continually have to check myself for that " my way " thinkingtoo, and really " hear " what others are communicating. When Iam am not so caught up in anxiety and feeling under threat, that I am unableto take on board anything going on outside my own extremities, and I canlet myself be infused with others feelings, and ideas, I feel better.- Helen> > << I do believe though, that because AS can tend to get focusedon > special interests, that if sex addiction or other deviant behavior> becomes their special interest, it can be more problematic, and > certainly create more problems for them. >>> > Not only that, I can see visual porn becoming an obsession with lotsof > AS men because it allows them to channel their sexuality in a waywhere > they don't encounter the pressure of interacting emotionally with> another human being.> > This topic has been discussed at length in forums for NT women partnered> with AS men. Many of these men have withdrawn from their spouses > sexually, yet continue to have a very active sex life with their > computers where no one can make any demands of them and all of thesex > is solely on their terms.> > Not sure what you mean by " deviant behavior " , so I can'tcomment. Are > you referring to consentual alternative sexualities like fetishism> and/or BDSM, or something along more criminal lines like pedophilia?> > << There has been some work done on young AS people and sexuality.I > believe Newland has linked some articles by Isabelle Hunault> (probably mis-spelling her name here, too tired to look up.) Others,> such as Meyer, has also commented extensively on this. >>> > Helen, if you have any links that you care to share, I would appreciate> knowing about them. Meanwhile, I'll do some googling on my own.> > << I think that like NT women, AS women are less likely to findany > interest in porn or having a " roving eye " because women'sbrains are > simply wired differently and there is a biological reason for that.I've > also often thought that AS women in particular are probably less > inclined to be find much to get excited about in photographic imagines> of men we don't know, period. >>> > I think it depends on the woman and the nature of the pornography.Most > porn leaves me cold, yet not all porn.> > << I was certainly old enough to be afflicted with that, andtheir music > was very new and exciting (it still stands the test of time IMHO)but as > far as the hysteria surrounding them, I just thought, " how dumb. " > Really, it's not like I was ever going to meet these celebrities,and > furthermore, I didn't know a thing about them as people. >>> > I'm with you, Helen. I don't get it either.> > << I can certainly appreciate that some male celebrities arevery > attractive, but, why young women practically swoon over them, I don't> get it. >>> > Mass hysteria accounts for a good bit of the collective swooning seenin > news reports of Beatlemania. The mechanics of that have very littleto > do with The Fab Four themselves.> > There is also a show business element to a lot of that crazy screaming> behavior. Record companies have been known to seed the crowd withyoung > women charged to intentionally create the sort of emotional climatethat > others will emulate. It only takes a few girls to kick off the frenzy.> > << My husband and I concluded perhaps that's an AS girl thing.The AS > girls and young women I've known seem more sensible compared to their> peers, although, alas, that seems to create social difficulty forthem > as then they have less in common with their peers. >>> > I don't think it's an issue of being sensible as much as it's onewhere > the AS girls may be less likely to mimic (in this case teen) cultural> cues. Otherwise, I agree.> > << I would be interested to hear from both AS and NT women onthis one. >>> > No celebrity crushes for me, sorry. However, my AS sister was a Donny> Osmond and Bobby Sherman addict big time. Blech.> > I guess I just don't tend to respond emotionally to that which is> inaccessible to me. Same reason I don't go to open houses for luxury> real estate that is far beyond my financial reach. Seems like a waste> of time (not to mention a recipe for envy) to me.> > Good topic, Helen.> > Best,> ~CJ>