Re: Struggling, struggling, and more strugling.

[Guest guest]

Kv. It might be a good time to review your values. BillSent via DROID on Verizon Wireless Struggling, struggling, and more strugling.Iv'e just ahad one of my ah! ah! moments. I was thinking through what wrote in my last post about happiness and acceptance, and I could see the enormous amount of struggling I'm doing even right now. Struggling to play the keyboards, struggling at the guitar, struggling to tidy up, to go out, to get things done, etc, etc, etc, and everything else. And at work there's even more relentless struggle as I need to get to grips with new technical developments and new software. Plus, I regret not going for promation for a supervisor's job, but I know I am too ill for it right now, so I practice it instead by helping out in the office organising things for the supervisor. So, tons and tons more effort although I really just want to curl up and sleep and rest. I ache for this.Hey! but why don't I switch off the struggle switch and work towards things at my own relaxed pace. But how does this work with commitment? a part of ACT I find really diffiicult, i.e, I would like to go out but I am too tird. But I always say I'd better make the effort even though I feel almost dead - this is my interpretation of commitment - just don't give in, ever. Strugle, struggle, and loads more struggle, but crikey, this is making me so ill and also very dissapointed in myself as I fail miserably all the time. But now I think have finally got it, acceptance is always first and commitment way way behind at second place. So Kv, just go real easy at things. Crumbs, I really like this, I feel the pressure driting away already. I'm going to give this a whirl and report back later, but I reckon this will work. Perhaps we are all quite different and need to use ACT in our unique different ways. Wow! a big burden has already gone from my shoulders.Kv------------------------------------For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.orgIf you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may unsubscribe by sending an email to ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links*> To visit your group on the web, go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/*> Your email settings: Individual Email | Traditional*> To change settings online go to: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/ACT_for_the_Public/join (Yahoo! ID required)*> To change settings via email: ACT_for_the_Public-digest ACT_for_the_Public-fullfeatured *>

[Guest guest]

Yes, I didn't mention any values. The only thing I value right now is music, or

practicing playing it. Perhaps I also value relationships but that urge is long

dead at the moment. But I know it will spring back up again one day. I have a

good relationship with my girlfriend right now but I'm not in love - ahh!

there's always something wrong somewhere. I think my psyche is ready for quantum

change right now and so one day there will be peace. Well, in an ACT sense that

is, acceptance of distress and imperfection will eventually heal. And I'm so

looking forward to it.

Kv

>

> Kv. It might be a good time to review your values. Bill

>

> Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

>

> Struggling, struggling, and more strugling.

>

> Iv'e just ahad one of my ah! ah! moments. I was thinking through what wrote

> in my last post about happiness and acceptance, and I could see the enormous

> amount of struggling I'm doing even right now. Struggling to play the

> keyboards, struggling at the guitar, struggling to tidy up, to go out, to

> get things done, etc, etc, etc, and everything else.

>

> And at work there's even more relentless struggle as I need to get to grips

> with new technical developments and new software. Plus, I regret not going

> for promation for a supervisor's job, but I know I am too ill for it right

> now, so I practice it instead by helping out in the office organising things

> for the supervisor. So, tons and tons more effort although I really just

> want to curl up and sleep and rest. I ache for this.

>

> Hey! but why don't I switch off the struggle switch and work towards things

> at my own relaxed pace. But how does this work with commitment? a part of

> ACT I find really diffiicult, i.e, I would like to go out but I am too tird.

> But I always say I'd better make the effort even though I feel almost dead -

> this is my interpretation of commitment - just don't give in, ever. Strugle,

> struggle, and loads more struggle, but crikey, this is making me so ill and

> also very dissapointed in myself as I fail miserably all the time. But now I

> think have finally got it, acceptance is always first and commitment way way

> behind at second place. So Kv, just go real easy at things.

>

> Crumbs, I really like this, I feel the pressure driting away already. I'm

> going to give this a whirl and report back later, but I reckon this will

> work. Perhaps we are all quite different and need to use ACT in our unique

> different ways. Wow! a big burden has already gone from my shoulders.

>

>

> Kv

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

>

> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> unsubscribe by sending an email to

> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links

>

[Guest guest]

Why is "not in love" "something wrong"?Acceptance of distress immediately heals - it means things are OK the way they are because they are. "Eventually" will not come - you seem to be saying that acceptance must change something in order to work...?I might wonder about playing music being the only thing you value based on these comments. Do you value the relationship as it is? Do you value the concept of being in love? Do you value the idea of a romantic partnership? If so, why? Do you value "peace"? If so, what is it?And so on...D

Yes, I didn't mention any values. The only thing I value right now is music, or practicing playing it. Perhaps I also value relationships but that urge is long dead at the moment. But I know it will spring back up again one day. I have a good relationship with my girlfriend right now but I'm not in love - ahh! there's always something wrong somewhere. I think my psyche is ready for quantum change right now and so one day there will be peace. Well, in an ACT sense that is, acceptance of distress and imperfection will eventually heal. And I'm so looking forward to it.

Kv

>

> Kv. It might be a good time to review your values. Bill

>

> Sent via DROID on Verizon Wireless

>

> Struggling, struggling, and more strugling.

>

> Iv'e just ahad one of my ah! ah! moments. I was thinking through what wrote

> in my last post about happiness and acceptance, and I could see the enormous

> amount of struggling I'm doing even right now. Struggling to play the

> keyboards, struggling at the guitar, struggling to tidy up, to go out, to

> get things done, etc, etc, etc, and everything else.

>

> And at work there's even more relentless struggle as I need to get to grips

> with new technical developments and new software. Plus, I regret not going

> for promation for a supervisor's job, but I know I am too ill for it right

> now, so I practice it instead by helping out in the office organising things

> for the supervisor. So, tons and tons more effort although I really just

> want to curl up and sleep and rest. I ache for this.

>

> Hey! but why don't I switch off the struggle switch and work towards things

> at my own relaxed pace. But how does this work with commitment? a part of

> ACT I find really diffiicult, i.e, I would like to go out but I am too tird.

> But I always say I'd better make the effort even though I feel almost dead -

> this is my interpretation of commitment - just don't give in, ever. Strugle,

> struggle, and loads more struggle, but crikey, this is making me so ill and

> also very dissapointed in myself as I fail miserably all the time. But now I

> think have finally got it, acceptance is always first and commitment way way

> behind at second place. So Kv, just go real easy at things.

>

> Crumbs, I really like this, I feel the pressure driting away already. I'm

> going to give this a whirl and report back later, but I reckon this will

> work. Perhaps we are all quite different and need to use ACT in our unique

> different ways. Wow! a big burden has already gone from my shoulders.

>

>

> Kv

>

>

>

> ------------------------------------

>

> For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

>

> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> unsubscribe by sending an email to

> ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links

>

[Guest guest]

Hi,

Here's a quote from Pema Chodron that I may have posted before.

This earnestness, this seriosness about everything in our lives. This goal

orientated we're going to do it or else attitude is the worlds greatest killjoy.

There is no sense of appreciation because we're so solemn abouy everything. In

contrast, a joyful mind is very ordinary and relaxed.

I find that any goals we set ourselves have to be 'held very lightly'. The most

important thing seems to be not so much what we do but how we do it. I value

connection highly so if I remember to do whatever I am doing carefully and

mindfully- then I feel much better. What we get to have, and get to do is not

totally within our control. Therefore if we always focus on this it feels like a

big struggle. We can, however always control how we behave towards what we have,

and what life serves us up, to do.

Cheers,

Jim

>

> Iv'e just ahad one of my ah! ah! moments. I was thinking through what wrote in

my last post about happiness and acceptance, and I could see the enormous amount

of struggling I'm doing even right now. Struggling to play the keyboards,

struggling at the guitar, struggling to tidy up, to go out, to get things done,

etc, etc, etc, and everything else.

>

> And at work there's even more relentless struggle as I need to get to grips

with new technical developments and new software. Plus, I regret not going for

promation for a supervisor's job, but I know I am too ill for it right now, so I

practice it instead by helping out in the office organising things for the

supervisor. So, tons and tons more effort although I really just want to curl up

and sleep and rest. I ache for this.

>

> Hey! but why don't I switch off the struggle switch and work towards things at

my own relaxed pace. But how does this work with commitment? a part of ACT I

find really diffiicult, i.e, I would like to go out but I am too tird. But I

always say I'd better make the effort even though I feel almost dead - this is

my interpretation of commitment - just don't give in, ever. Strugle, struggle,

and loads more struggle, but crikey, this is making me so ill and also very

dissapointed in myself as I fail miserably all the time. But now I think have

finally got it, acceptance is always first and commitment way way behind at

second place. So Kv, just go real easy at things.

>

> Crumbs, I really like this, I feel the pressure driting away already. I'm

going to give this a whirl and report back later, but I reckon this will work.

Perhaps we are all quite different and need to use ACT in our unique different

ways. Wow! a big burden has already gone from my shoulders.

>

>

> Kv

>

[Guest guest]

A good reminder for me too Jim, thanks for posting it.

>

> Hi,

>

> Here's a quote from Pema Chodron that I may have posted before.

>

> This earnestness, this seriosness about everything in our lives. This goal

> orientated we're going to do it or else attitude is the worlds greatest

> killjoy. There is no sense of appreciation because we're so solemn abouy

> everything. In contrast, a joyful mind is very ordinary and relaxed.

>

>

> I find that any goals we set ourselves have to be 'held very lightly'. The

> most important thing seems to be not so much what we do but how we do it. I

> value connection highly so if I remember to do whatever I am doing carefully

> and mindfully- then I feel much better. What we get to have, and get to do

> is not totally within our control. Therefore if we always focus on this it

> feels like a big struggle. We can, however always control how we behave

> towards what we have, and what life serves us up, to do.

>

> Cheers,

>

> Jim

>

>

>

>

>

>

>>

>> Iv'e just ahad one of my ah! ah! moments. I was thinking through what

>> wrote in my last post about happiness and acceptance, and I could see the

>> enormous amount of struggling I'm doing even right now. Struggling to play

>> the keyboards, struggling at the guitar, struggling to tidy up, to go out,

>> to get things done, etc, etc, etc, and everything else.

>>

>> And at work there's even more relentless struggle as I need to get to

>> grips with new technical developments and new software. Plus, I regret not

>> going for promation for a supervisor's job, but I know I am too ill for it

>> right now, so I practice it instead by helping out in the office

>> organising things for the supervisor. So, tons and tons more effort

>> although I really just want to curl up and sleep and rest. I ache for

>> this.

>>

>> Hey! but why don't I switch off the struggle switch and work towards

>> things at my own relaxed pace. But how does this work with commitment? a

>> part of ACT I find really diffiicult, i.e, I would like to go out but I am

>> too tird. But I always say I'd better make the effort even though I feel

>> almost dead - this is my interpretation of commitment - just don't give

>> in, ever. Strugle, struggle, and loads more struggle, but crikey, this is

>> making me so ill and also very dissapointed in myself as I fail miserably

>> all the time. But now I think have finally got it, acceptance is always

>> first and commitment way way behind at second place. So Kv, just go real

>> easy at things.

>>

>> Crumbs, I really like this, I feel the pressure driting away already. I'm

>> going to give this a whirl and report back later, but I reckon this will

>> work. Perhaps we are all quite different and need to use ACT in our unique

>> different ways. Wow! a big burden has already gone from my shoulders.

>>

>>

>> Kv

>>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

said .......

Firstly - I'm only new and no nothing about ACT ....... so apologies for

incorrect

opinions .......

> Hey! but why don't I switch off the struggle switch and work towards things at

my own relaxed pace. But how does this work with commitment? a part of ACT I

find really diffiicult, i.e, I would like to go out but I am too tird. But I

always say I'd better make the effort even though I feel almost dead - this is

my interpretation of commitment - just don't give in, ever.

It sounds like you are PHYSICALLY exhausted .... is this right ? If so,

then the best

thing you can do for yourself is PACE.

PACING is something that people with chronic pain, chronic fatigue etc have to

do each and

every minute of the day. If we do too much today, then we really pay for it

tomorrow by

being bed-bound or lounge-bound. If you took some time out to get your physical

health

back up, this would help get you back on track.

You might benefit from making " pacing " or similar a value - so that when it's

time to look

after yourself you can do it and not feel like you're not doing something that

you

consider important.

And if you get any thoughts in your head about how you shouldn't be doing it,

then you may

like a quote that I recently remembered would be great for lots of things in ACT

" If it's meant to be

then it's up to me "

ie. if you want to get better then only you can do it.

Sorry if I've said anything off=topic etc ..... etc but I just wanted to try to

help

, that's all........

iolanda

--

Marriage is a great institution – but I don’t want to live in an institution ;-)