Re: sound sensitivity and upbringing

[Guest guest]

Donnie, So sorry to hear your attempt to resolve childhood issues was not well

received. The first time I approached my father was 15 years ago. I was 38. My

sisters and I were at my parents house and I told my sisters that I was going to

tell my dad that I wasn't afraid of him anymore. They both burst out in tears

and begged me not to do it. Mind, these were grown women. I did it anyway.

My father looked shocked. He said... I never wanted you to be afraid of me.

That's exactly what he wanted and he never realized until that moment what he

had done. It has taken all the years since then for me and my youngest sister

to have a somewhat normal relationship with my father.

It is a very hard thing to fix. Try again another time. Try a different

approach. Never let anyone try to convince you that your childhood was normal

if it wasn't. You were there. You remember exactly what it was like and you

deserve an apology. Also, give your parent some time to think about what you

said. It is a slow process. Try to be patient.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless Phone

donniesout wrote:

>i can relate, one of 5 kids and was abused verbally, physically and emotionally

but i still love my folks, i confronted 'one' of them about something and he

hates me for it.

>

>>

>> >>

>>

>> >> Tammy, it sounds like your childhood may have been troubled. Mine was pure

>>

>> >>crap. My father screamed at me and my siblings every day and frequently he

beat

>>

>> >>us. He used fear to control his children. We were not allowed to be afraid

of

>>

>> >>anything but him.

>>

>> Has anyone else experienced a troubled childhood? Maybe it has

>>

>> >>something to do with our sound sensitivity.

>>

>

>

[Guest guest]

I can not comment too much here as I do not share the same experiences, but I do feel sorry for you all.What you mention below, with the flashbacks, sounds like PTSD. Have you heard of, or tried, EMDR ? ( Moving eyes left and right while reliving the experience) it turns the experience into a memory rather than a reliving event that is hard to shake off.Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone on 3Sender: Soundsensitivity Date: Mon, 04 Apr 2011 22:51:26 -0500To: <Soundsensitivity >ReplyTo: Soundsensitivity Subject: Re: sound sensitivity and upbringing Gena, I understand about repeating the damage that was done to you. I've done that to people that I love. The good thing is that YOU realize you have a tendency and are determined not to repeat it. I do find some solace in knowing that my father believed he was being a good father. He learned parenting from his parents who abused him terribly. I also have closure with my father, something he never had with his parents. He has apoligized many times and in many ways. It's still hard sometimes though. When the little girl inside me has a flashback, or smells a particular smell and she's catapulted back in time and it's as though it's happening all over again. The sadness, the pain, the anger are all back and very real. I still cry over my 'missed' childhood. You are definitely not alone. Sent from my Verizon Wireless PhoneGena Perkins wrote:>Yes. I've wondered about that a lot. How/if one's upbringing connects to sound sensitivity. >>Growing up I experienced (not asking for pity here) emotional abuse, manipulation, harrassment. In essence, trauma to my nervous system.  Which has had profound effects in my adult life.>>Lately just realizing, nightmare of all nightmares, I'm repeating these behaviors. That must stop. Will be seeking help soon. I need to build up my inner resiliancy. Retrain my nervous system.>>Heartbreaking stuff, cuts to my core. Especially when these things are learned from the people that matter the most, your own parents.   >>>>>>>>>>>> Tammy, it sounds like your childhood may have been troubled. Mine was pure >>>>crap. My father screamed at me and my siblings every day and frequently he beat >>>>us. He used fear to control his children. We were not allowed to be afraid of >>>>anything but him. >>Has anyone else experienced a troubled childhood? Maybe it has >>>>something to do with our sound sensitivity.

[Guest guest]

I just created a new post relating to these thoughts, actually. I am starting to

wonder more and more if the issue of control has something to do with sound

sensitivity, specifically, feeling that someone else is controling us, entirely

or in certain ways. And does our body in some way respond with sound

sensitivity?

>

> >>

>

> >> Tammy, it sounds like your childhood may have been troubled. Mine was pure

>

> >>crap. My father screamed at me and my siblings every day and frequently he

beat

>

> >>us. He used fear to control his children. We were not allowed to be afraid

of

>

> >>anything but him.

>

> Has anyone else experienced a troubled childhood? Maybe it has

>

> >>something to do with our sound sensitivity.

>

[Guest guest]

To clarify, I have to say that I did not experience abuse growing up from my

parents, so I cannot relate in that sense. My father and I especially struggled

to see eye to eye for many years when the subject was my life. It cause EXTREME

emotional tension and anxiety in our household. I was an only child, and I loved

my parents dearly, and still do. I usually preferred to be off on my own when I

was at home, though.

>

> >>

>

> >> Tammy, it sounds like your childhood may have been troubled. Mine was pure

>

> >>crap. My father screamed at me and my siblings every day and frequently he

beat

>

> >>us. He used fear to control his children. We were not allowed to be afraid

of

>

> >>anything but him.

>

> Has anyone else experienced a troubled childhood? Maybe it has

>

> >>something to do with our sound sensitivity.

>

[Guest guest]

I'm new to the board and this is my first post (hi guys)...

Up until yesterday I had no idea there was such a thing as 4S and always thought

it was just me. Since my original trigger was my mother and we didn't exactly

have the healthiest relationship, I always thought my abhorrence of certain

sounds was somehow connected to my childhood development... like I'm somehow

projecting my negative feelings that resulted from being verbally and

emotionally abused as a child to everyone who makes similar sounds to the ones

my mom made. But I realized over time that it was more than just that. Like my

mom isn't a fan of gum, so why would I hate gum chewing so much? Perhaps there

is some correlation - especially since it seems from what I've experienced and

read that the sensitivity is stronger with people you're emotionally connected

with - but I think it's more than just a product of a troubled youth. Also, it

seems like this is a fairly rare condition, while emotional trauma in childhood

isn't all that rare. Not everyone who was treated poorly as a kid develops these

symptoms... I assume. So is childhood trauma a cause, a contributing factor or a

coincidence?

>

> >>

>

> >> Tammy, it sounds like your childhood may have been troubled. Mine was pure

>

> >>crap. My father screamed at me and my siblings every day and frequently he

beat

>

> >>us. He used fear to control his children. We were not allowed to be afraid

of

>

> >>anything but him.

>

> Has anyone else experienced a troubled childhood? Maybe it has

>

> >>something to do with our sound sensitivity.

>

[Guest guest]

Welcome Bridget,Glad you found us!IMO a coincidence. No intense childhood trauma here My biggest triggers were only my family when I lived with them. Now, decades later I can eat at a family gathering with them and it's only hard when people talk with food in their mouths (which is mostly my step father who was not in our lives until my 20's and who I think is great) but I get through it. Currently, my triggers are anyone who snaps cracks and pops their gum, and no one in my family chewed gum, And those who eat really loud with their mouth open and sadly my newest one is speaker phones at work, something I was never exposed to as a child. That's my experience anyway. HeidiSent from my iPhone

I'm new to the board and this is my first post (hi guys)...

Up until yesterday I had no idea there was such a thing as 4S and always thought it was just me. Since my original trigger was my mother and we didn't exactly have the healthiest relationship, I always thought my abhorrence of certain sounds was somehow connected to my childhood development... like I'm somehow projecting my negative feelings that resulted from being verbally and emotionally abused as a child to everyone who makes similar sounds to the ones my mom made. But I realized over time that it was more than just that. Like my mom isn't a fan of gum, so why would I hate gum chewing so much? Perhaps there is some correlation - especially since it seems from what I've experienced and read that the sensitivity is stronger with people you're emotionally connected with - but I think it's more than just a product of a troubled youth. Also, it seems like this is a fairly rare condition, while emotional trauma in childhood isn't all that rare. Not everyone who was treated poorly as a kid develops these symptoms... I assume. So is childhood trauma a cause, a contributing factor or a coincidence?

>

> >>

>

> >> Tammy, it sounds like your childhood may have been troubled. Mine was pure

>

> >>crap. My father screamed at me and my siblings every day and frequently he beat

>

> >>us. He used fear to control his children. We were not allowed to be afraid of

>

> >>anything but him.

>

> Has anyone else experienced a troubled childhood? Maybe it has

>

> >>something to do with our sound sensitivity.

>