need to vent---long

[Guest guest]

greetings all,

i have not posted at all in a few days. it's hard to type now, but i really need

to vent. i've had still's since i was 8 and i know the ups and downs well. i

had been remissive for the most part for a long time. i still had joint pain and

fatuge and randon fever, but it was tolerable without meds most of the time.

about a year ago things started getting worse again, more bad days, more often.

it's been getting progressively worse. i'm tired all the time, no one has to

feel for swollen glands (you can see them sticking out in my neck), constent

pain, body temps all over the place, can't sleep a night through. did i forget

anything, probably. anyway, monday everything went over the top. couldn't stay

asleep the night before, then didn't wake up for work (slept thru 3 seperate

alarms + phone calls) when i finally woke up i couldn't stand for what seemed

like forever, couldn't have made a phone call if i had wanted to. my fingers

forgot how to do anything other than hurt. saw my pcp today (haven't had a

rheumy in years). she ordered the standard every blood test out there and is

refering me to rheumy. put me on celebrex and voltarin + darvacet as needed.

still hurt but not as bad. problem, i'm now too loopy to drive let alone work

for 8 hours with complicated machines filled with chemicals (i work in a

photofinishing lab) or count money correctly. not hat that really matters cause

i already know that when i step thru the door at work the boss is canning me.

found out a coworker that he has already fill my position. so, my body is

falling apart again, my car is falling apart still, my job is out the window,

wondering what's next. well, that pretty much sums it up. going to go take more

pain killers cause my hands have given out again. thanks for listening.