Re: HelpThe shock in the beginning can last for a long time...

[Guest guest]

<<My question is this...how do I cope with my daily activities and stay

sane?>>

Dear ,

I know I have not intruduced myself to you yet, due to a lot of stuff

going on in my life with my health. But, two years ago, when i first

injured myslef, it was really so far out of my reach of understanding, i

just could not believe how much i hurt and how i did it. I went thru

and still am at times, anger, resentment, unbelief it is me, wishing i

was like i was on a daily basis, and the fear that i would never get

better. These things i still feel.

Somedays as Caitlin said are much better than others, but some days i

just throw a fit of anger, let it all out and get on with my life.. the

really wonderful thing is, is that, the only person i can really talk to

and have my breakdowns with is my lawyer. I can really say, i dont know

where i would be today without her, she is an angel sent to me from

above i truly believe. She is a darling person, and i on occasion call

her and say... " I dont care how much i hurt, lets just settle and i dont

care about my body anymore...

My story is really no different than many others, but, it is my own,

just like yours, and for me now it is way too long to get into this

late at night. How i function every day, is to just take one step at a

time, and try to realize that i am not the same person i was prior to

the injury. It takes so very long to accept this pain issues....it

scares me sometimes, that i have not gotten there completely yet, but,

am progressing to acceptance a little bit more every day.

I dont know your story, so maybe i should not have written. But, i

wanted to say, to just hold on, each and every day will be different.

Pain is such a different issue for us to deal with when once we had

none. So, hold on and take care of yourself. Some will be really good

and some will be really bad...thats the way it seems to be with me, like

caitlin. I wish you all the strength in the world to beat this beast we

must live with day in day out, and you will eventually become more

accustomed to the new you in time , time heals all things i believe..

I also believe like Caitlin, that you must find some time each day to do

something you like that brings you joy. Even with my deep depression at

times, i take those days i dont feel so down, and push myself to do

something i enjoy, like sewing. Yes, it hurts me, but, what the heck,

everything hurts so why not get some enjoyment out of it... This is so

important in our well being...but, i know i am not well for

sure...lol.....

Big hugs and sending happiness your way and lots of strength...and hold

on...it will get easier...janine p..s After this experience, i will

forever be a different person, and i dont think i will ever be

sane......??????

[Guest guest]

I dont care how much i hurt, lets just settle and i dont

care about my body anymore...

Janine,

I call my lawyer and say THE SAME THING! I say lets just settle, I'm so

frustrated, I know I'm not going to get what I think is FAIR, so just get it

over with. I was in a wreck in 2001 and will NEVER be the same. It has affected

every area of my life and the insurance company only wants to give me enough to

cover the bills. I was in a cast for 1 1/2 years and thats doesn't even count

the times after the 4 surgeries I had. I think the insurance adjustor is going

to hell....I know its his job to rip me off, but its just not right. My daughter

was 9 months when it happened and she will never know who I was before this

wreck. That saddens me to no end.

Caitlin/AR

[Guest guest]

Dear Caitlin,

I am so sorry to hear about the accident. And i know what you mean when you say

your daughter will never know the mother she had prior to the accident. But,

even with the pain, you are still the same person inside and you love her more

than life itself I am sure and she knows that.

Wanting your life back, oh boy, you dont know how many times i have said that

over and over, but, i does not help, it only hurts. It makes me angry,

resentful, depressed, it takes time to heal the wounds, the emotional wounds of

any type of injury.

I have been doing this chronic pain thing for over two years now, how about you?

I am getting worse day in day out. The last thing i want to see in my mail box

is another letter from workers comp, either denying me something or sending me

to another doc to see if maybe this one will be the one to say, she can work,

she is fine...after all, eventually, one will if they keep sending me... One

already has, three have not, but, the odd thing is, the one that said i could

made no sense at all in his report. He was a weirdo, excentric odd ball, for

sure, i never met a doc like him, and his brohter is a judge on the board of

industrial accidents in my state, so he always says you can go back to work. I

am sick and tired of these greedy people trying to take my life away from me,

the life i have left anyway. But, you know what, it is out of my control

really. I can scream, as i often do, to let out steam, which does help my

depression. I live alone, so no one can hear me...but, in all

reality, what is to be will be and that is really the story here. We can kick

fighting, or accept this for what it is, and unfair and unjust situation we have

been put in. I cannot say my life has gotten better after my injury, but, i can

say, that i am finding way to cope. I have no choice, i know my life will never

be the same again. Maybe there is a grand plan i dont know about, who

knows...but if it comes i am ready. I do want to give up alot of the times,

but, i just cant the way my body is falling apart. I have to be damn sure,

before i settle, that i will be able to make a living.... i cannot live on

nothing...as it is, i eat cheap food, real cheap. I used to be a good cook

prior to my injury, that has been one thing i have givin up on...it does not

bring me pleasure anymore, i have no appetite for good food. I just wanted to

try and help you to try a little every day, to do something for yourself, to

take your mind off your pain, and eventually, maybe before you know

it, you will be doing all kinds of things that your pain will allow you to do

and your pain will be in the background, instead of right up front. easier said

than done i know...i wish i had more answers or even one answer, but, it really

needs to come from you, within you and your strengths to want to have peace in

your life. Caitlin, i dont write often, cause i am not feeling well at all,

there are a few emals i need to catch up on, but, i need to pace myself and take

things one step at a time. I have been trying to sew curtains, now, thats a

trip...its not working to good i can say that, but, i will keep trying. I used

to sew pairs of curtains in a day, now, i am lucky if my body will hold up to do

a half of a curtain, but, it is something i can feel proud of and look at and

say, well at least i can do something i used to, even if it does take me a very

long time...i wish you peace and serenity and hope you can try to come to some

peace within, it wont work every day or every

moment, but, a little is better than none....sending big hugs to you and happy

thoughts too...janine p.s. I hate the w/c scene with a passion, i think

everyone that is involved with these smucks feel just like you and i.....

Caitlin wrote:

I dont care how much i hurt, lets just settle and i dont

care about my body anymore...

[Guest guest]

Hey Janine,

I had a car accident in 2001 and have been struggling with pain ever since. I

had back pain before then, but nothing compared to now. So I am dealing with

insurance companies and lawyers, not workers comp, but I'm sure its all the same

rackett!

I hope that you get everything you deserve! I know how it feels " not knowing " .

Its horrible.

I will write more tomorrow because I'm having a REALLY bad pain day and have

already been sitting her too long. Thank you for writing back and for all the

good advice. I'm sure your curtains are simply BEAUTIFUL!!!!

Take care,

Caitlin

[Guest guest]

Janine,

Thank you for your sweet reply. I am still in a pretty bad way and will try and

write more when I am feeling better. Hope you are doing okay.

Caitlin