Re: Tug of War

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/20/01 10:46:11 AM Pacific Standard Time, Penny writes:

> Need advice please. (read: tell me it's ok)

>

>

The way I do things is to let her stim as a reward.

When it feels wrong to you, redirect her to something

else, like " Why don't you go outside and play? " or

something. Stimming is not wrong unless they

are using it to avoid something important.

Think of the things you do to stim, eat, computer,

watch a soap opera, etc. Now if something came

up that required your attention those would be

inappropriate and you would have to stop.

The only difference is she doesn't know how to stop.

You direct that. Usually one stim is traded for another

in the early childhood, and it is very frustrating. The

stim you think is FINALLY over now becomes one

even more annoying. When they start having to

produce homework at school, the stims begin

to go away only to be replaced by little things

like picking fingers, humming, talking to self,

and even tourettes like twitches.

Aislynn does not have the twitches, but the

other things are there, and I even taped her

fingers one day to get her to stop with the

constant picking.

Let her do the Sega, but not all the time.

And don't allow it to become so bad that

she tantrums if she doesn't get her stim.

Then you know it was too much.

Barb

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/20/01 12:52:34 PM Pacific Standard Time,

vtwelch@... writes:

<< (Once we got to the very end of the game, she was able to lighten up

about it a little and move on.) >>

Hey ,

Have you guys beet all the worlds?

I recently put it back on to see how far we had gotten and we still have 11

levels to beat!

(looking for hints here)

kandie

Kandie and (9 years)

* 's website: <A

HREF= " http://kidsactivities.homestead.com/spage.html " >spage</A>

*

[Guest guest]

I personally dont stop Greggory from doing what he wants unless he

needs to eat, go to the bathroom, go to bed, or do something I ask of

him. He loves certin things alot and the nintendo and other games are

some of them. I just let it run its course and he will get over it

eventually. But that is just me and Greggory. Things are different

for different kids. I never stopped Greggory from stimming either.

Again I know alot of parents do. I think it depends on how much this

will interfere with what your child needs. Will she freak out for

days on end if you allow her to play it nonstop? Will she not want to

go back to school because of this game? If not then I would say let

her play. At least that is what I would do.

Jacquie H

> Yesterday, Jacqui communicated to me...in her own special way of

> course, that she wanted to play the Sega Genesis. She knows what

> this entails. I told her she would have to ask Daddy when he got

> home to hook it up for her.

>

> Well, she did...in her own way, ask Daddy to hook up the Genesis.

I

> had to fill in some blanks because I am the only one who truly can

> understand Jacqui-speak.

>

> Playing Genesis required hooking up a TV in the guestroom. We have

a

> Tiny 19 inch color that would serve the purpose well. Daddy

> proceeded to hook it up. Jacqui proceeded to play. She's now been

> playing since. She actually came in my bedroom last night and

> said " Can I stay up all night playing Genesis? " ...hmph. I

said " No. " ,

> but Dad let her play til after 10:30. Upon waking this morning,

she

> immediately went in and started playing. I had to bring breakfast

up

> to her. I had to make sure she went to the bathroom.

>

> Now this is nothing new. Same issue, different object.

>

> My dilemma is: Do I just keep letting these things run their course

> and let her be? Or do I interject and MAKE her do something else?

>

> I fully intend to get her going and out of the house this

afternoon,

> but for now... I don't know. I feel like I'm doing her an

injustice.

>

> Need advice please. (read: tell me it's ok)

>

> Penny :-)

[Guest guest]

That's a tough one. I guess I would be inclined to let her be for now and

enjoy the peace! As long as you do plan other things for her to do later.

Would she allow you to interact with her or play with her (ie. take turns)?

When Ebony is stimming sometimes I will try to change the stimm somehow to

make it interactive or more nt. It works sometimes and other times it will

send her off the deep end. Good luck!

Tamara, mom to Ebony-4 yrs, ASD & -7 months

>From: nospam@...

>Reply-To: parenting_autism

>To: parenting_autism

>Subject: Tug of War

>Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2001 18:36:38 -0000

>

>Yesterday, Jacqui communicated to me...in her own special way of

>course, that she wanted to play the Sega Genesis. She knows what

>this entails. I told her she would have to ask Daddy when he got

>home to hook it up for her.

>

>Well, she did...in her own way, ask Daddy to hook up the Genesis. I

>had to fill in some blanks because I am the only one who truly can

>understand Jacqui-speak.

>

>Playing Genesis required hooking up a TV in the guestroom. We have a

>Tiny 19 inch color that would serve the purpose well. Daddy

>proceeded to hook it up. Jacqui proceeded to play. She's now been

>playing since. She actually came in my bedroom last night and

>said " Can I stay up all night playing Genesis? " ...hmph. I said " No. " ,

>but Dad let her play til after 10:30. Upon waking this morning, she

>immediately went in and started playing. I had to bring breakfast up

>to her. I had to make sure she went to the bathroom.

>

>Now this is nothing new. Same issue, different object.

>

>My dilemma is: Do I just keep letting these things run their course

>and let her be? Or do I interject and MAKE her do something else?

>

>I fully intend to get her going and out of the house this afternoon,

>but for now... I don't know. I feel like I'm doing her an injustice.

>

>Need advice please. (read: tell me it's ok)

>

>Penny :-)

>

_________________________________________________________________

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[Guest guest]

I do a little of both. I let Marilla play for a very long time, then I

take her with me to the store (even just a drive-through store) to get sodas or

something. I also will tell her at some point that it is someone else's turn.

She has had to learn about taking turns because Sherman and na both also

deserve game time and I cannot convince my husband (or myself) that we should

get a separate Nintendo for each child and grown-up.

Marilla went through weeks of " madness " . Every thing she thought or said

had to do with . Then one day she wanted to watch videos instead. Now she

gives equal time to videos, , regular TV, and other play. She just needed

to get that initial mindset taken care of first. I do the same thing

myself, so I cannot really fault her for it. (Once we got to the very end of

the game, she was able to lighten up about it a little and move on.)

Smiles!

37 year old wife to , 41

Mom to:

na-14-NT

Marilla-8-Autistic

Sherman-7-Autistic

Greilyn-2-NT (so far)

" It is never too late to start from where you are. The future is whatever you

want it to be. " Dr. , Port

" Do not think that what is hard for thee to master is impossible for man; but if

a thing is possible and proper to man, deem it attainable by thee. " Marcus

Aurelius (121-180) Meditations. vi. 19.

I am going to say " it's okay. "

Tug of War

Yesterday, Jacqui communicated to me...in her own special way of

course, that she wanted to play the Sega Genesis. She knows what

this entails. I told her she would have to ask Daddy when he got

home to hook it up for her.

Well, she did...in her own way, ask Daddy to hook up the Genesis. I

had to fill in some blanks because I am the only one who truly can

understand Jacqui-speak.

Playing Genesis required hooking up a TV in the guestroom. We have a

Tiny 19 inch color that would serve the purpose well. Daddy

proceeded to hook it up. Jacqui proceeded to play. She's now been

playing since. She actually came in my bedroom last night and

said " Can I stay up all night playing Genesis? " ...hmph. I said " No. " ,

but Dad let her play til after 10:30. Upon waking this morning, she

immediately went in and started playing. I had to bring breakfast up

to her. I had to make sure she went to the bathroom.

Now this is nothing new. Same issue, different object.

My dilemma is: Do I just keep letting these things run their course

and let her be? Or do I interject and MAKE her do something else?

I fully intend to get her going and out of the house this afternoon,

but for now... I don't know. I feel like I'm doing her an injustice.

Need advice please. (read: tell me it's ok)

Penny :-)

[Guest guest]

I think it's OK, Penny -- and you KNOW I'm the stim police.

The thing is, her brain is WORKING while she's playing Sega.

When plays his Blues Clues or Aladdin computer game for days, I don't sweat

it. When he sits in front of the Windows media player and stares at the

graphics, I sabotage as much as possible, because that's just a hypnotic stim

thing.

My thought? If she starts playing the same three screens of one game over and

over and over even though she does them perfectly, THAT'S the time to worry!

I hope that helps.

Jacquie

[Guest guest]

---

Penny,

It sounds like Jacqi is the kind of kid that has a variety of

interests, so its probably not bad for her to get stuck on these

things. She seems to enjoy it and so do kids who are NT. It seems to

me that you have good instincts, so, I think youre right for " giving

in " to this one. After all, she learned a lot when you let her sit at

the computer for hours, yes, I remember some of your old posts.

Maybe getting " stuck " on certain things makes them better at it.

Thea

In parenting_autism@y..., nospam@p... wrote:

> Yesterday, Jacqui communicated to me...in her own special way of

> course, that she wanted to play the Sega Genesis. She knows what

> this entails. I told her she would have to ask Daddy when he got

> home to hook it up for her.

>

> Well, she did...in her own way, ask Daddy to hook up the Genesis.

I

> had to fill in some blanks because I am the only one who truly can

> understand Jacqui-speak.

>

> Playing Genesis required hooking up a TV in the guestroom. We have

a

> Tiny 19 inch color that would serve the purpose well. Daddy

> proceeded to hook it up. Jacqui proceeded to play. She's now been

> playing since. She actually came in my bedroom last night and

> said " Can I stay up all night playing Genesis? " ...hmph. I

said " No. " ,

> but Dad let her play til after 10:30. Upon waking this morning,

she

> immediately went in and started playing. I had to bring breakfast

up

> to her. I had to make sure she went to the bathroom.

>

> Now this is nothing new. Same issue, different object.

>

> My dilemma is: Do I just keep letting these things run their course

> and let her be? Or do I interject and MAKE her do something else?

>

> I fully intend to get her going and out of the house this

afternoon,

> but for now... I don't know. I feel like I'm doing her an

injustice.

>

> Need advice please. (read: tell me it's ok)

>

> Penny :-)

[Guest guest]

<susan looking at clock>

Yep that makes 2.5 hours of Ben watching Teletubbies. We all do it, my

guilt is that my poor little NT is now addicted to the furry critters!

Somedays they need it, I think of it as way for them to unwind.

At 10:36 AM 11/20/2001, you wrote:

>Yesterday, Jacqui communicated to me...in her own special way of

>course, that she wanted to play the Sega Genesis. She knows what

>this entails. I told her she would have to ask Daddy when he got

>home to hook it up for her.

>

>Well, she did...in her own way, ask Daddy to hook up the Genesis. I

>had to fill in some blanks because I am the only one who truly can

>understand Jacqui-speak.

>

>Playing Genesis required hooking up a TV in the guestroom. We have a

>Tiny 19 inch color that would serve the purpose well. Daddy

>proceeded to hook it up. Jacqui proceeded to play. She's now been

>playing since. She actually came in my bedroom last night and

>said " Can I stay up all night playing Genesis? " ...hmph. I said " No. " ,

>but Dad let her play til after 10:30. Upon waking this morning, she

>immediately went in and started playing. I had to bring breakfast up

>to her. I had to make sure she went to the bathroom.

>

>Now this is nothing new. Same issue, different object.

>

>My dilemma is: Do I just keep letting these things run their course

>and let her be? Or do I interject and MAKE her do something else?

>

>I fully intend to get her going and out of the house this afternoon,

>but for now... I don't know. I feel like I'm doing her an injustice.

>

>Need advice please. (read: tell me it's ok)

>

>Penny :-)

>

>

>

>

[Guest guest]

In a message dated 11/20/01 1:49:13 PM Eastern Standard Time,

nospam@... writes:

> My dilemma is: Do I just keep letting these things run their course

> and let her be? Or do I interject and MAKE her do something else?

>

> I fully intend to get her going and out of the house this afternoon,

> but for now... I don't know. I feel like I'm doing her an injustice.

>

> Need advice please. (read: tell me it's ok)

>

>

I'm way late on this Penny, but it is okay...I think if you intend to get her

out later in the day that sitting and playing her Genesis is just fine for

the time being.

Pam

Mom to and Conor

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