Re: Came back and wanted feedback on some thoughts...

[Guest guest]

Interesting thought. I do value being around beauty but you're right, I wouldn't want that to be on my tombstone. I just got back from Las Vegas, where you can see all the shallow desires on display. And when you're in the middle of it, it's very easy to be attracted to money, glamor, materialism, etc. I have a real tendency to think that those things are a part of happiness, even though I know it's not true. And that I have everything I need to be happy right now.I went through a tough afternoon of discomfort and am continuing to feel the echoes of it this evening. It seems like a big part of my journey is to let go of some of the ideas that cause me to be so discontented and afraid. I need to keep my eyes on what the prize really is. That seems to be hard for me.BruceYeah, keeping my eyes on the prize, what really matters sure does foster willingness to make space for discomfort.But I'm not sure values are best depicted vis a vi an image of the handsome guy or gal (or a delicious chocolate cake) on the otherwise uncomfortable bench. I think further discrimination is indicated--between that which feels good, lures or beckons me initially (e.g.,chocolate cake, foxy looking gals/guys, snazzy sports cars, name your desire..)-- and that which truly resonates, hums internally, that which matters, what I would like to have said about me at my funeral. "She really liked foxy men" is not something that comes to mind. Now it could be one values aesthetics, and therefore, values being around things they consider beautiful (including attractive people and snazzy looking cars, as well as a home in the mountains or countryside, creating or viewing art and so forth). But that's a whole different ball of wax.best,Terry> Here's a post from the professional site about values that I think cuts to the chase.> To: acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy > Date: Sat, 9 Apr 2011 08:41:02 -0400> Subject: Re: [acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy] Re: Came back and wanted feedback on some thoughts..., just a quick note on values- I've found that I've gotten the best response when I frame values work as "why your sitting with this crap you have" and the that which makes the "crap" more workable. No one wants to feel crummy, or sit with anxiety or whatever, but when there's a good reason for it, it becomes easier.> One story/example I use ( I forget where I got this... maybe Russ or JT?) is Einstein's simple explanation of relativity:> You put a young man on a hot bench on a hot day, and he'll sit there for ten minutes. Put that same young man on that same hot bench on that same hot day next to a pretty girl, and he'll sit there for hours.> Values are our Einsteinian Pretty Girl > Don't know if that's useful to you or not, but I've found it very workable with the folks I see.>

[Guest guest]

It can be hard for me to, Bruce. And yet, you sound like you're on a good path

here. Remember, no-one is grading you and you go at your own pace. We all

stumble and fall of the bike now and again. And then we get back on and start

peddling again and feel the cool breeze against our face, hear the birds

speaking to one another.

Interesting observations about Vegas...I haven't been to Vegas in so

long--something like 15-20 years. Have absolutely NO desire to go, although I

know many who really have a grand time there! (I'd much rather go hiking). To

each their own...time so precious.

peace,

Terry

BTW, I just saw for the second time " Leaving Las Vegas " movie--whew, how sad.

The first time I saw the movie was pre-ACT and the drama was more interesting.

This time, post-ACT, just plain sad. Not interesting. It's markers like this

that are kind of cool to observe.. the gentle shifts that are taking place.

> >

> > > Here's a post from the professional site about values that I think

> > cuts to the chase.

> >

> > > To: acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy

> > > From: abbot@

> > > Date: Sat, 9 Apr 2011 08:41:02 -0400

> > > Subject: Re: [acceptanceandcommitmenttherapy] Re: Came back and

> > wanted feedback on some thoughts...

> >

> > , just a quick note on values- I've found that I've gotten the

> > best response when I frame values work as " why your sitting with

> > this crap you have " and the that which makes the " crap " more

> > workable. No one wants to feel crummy, or sit with anxiety or

> > whatever, but when there's a good reason for it, it becomes easier.

> > > One story/example I use ( I forget where I got this... maybe Russ

> > or JT?) is Einstein's simple explanation of relativity:

> > > You put a young man on a hot bench on a hot day, and he'll sit

> > there for ten minutes. Put that same young man on that same hot

> > bench on that same hot day next to a pretty girl, and he'll sit

> > there for hours.

> > > Values are our Einsteinian Pretty Girl

> > > Don't know if that's useful to you or not, but I've found it very

> > workable with the folks I see.

> > >

> >

> >

> >

>