Re: School!!!!

[Guest guest]

, thank you so much for responding and I think your thoughts are

beautifully structured!!! I do care deeply about my students, but I struggle

mightily with the willingness to feel the anxiety. So I believe you are

ABSOLUTELY correct about the sods law thing!! Never heard of that but it

describes me to a " T " !! I'm trying to force ACT to " happen " and begin to feel so

desperate when it doesn't " happen " , and I think I come up in my mind a pretty

little picture of what my life will look like when it " happens " . That is where I

am shooting myself in the foot, don't you think? I will try to do some

practicing of ACT activities today!!! I have talked to our school counselor

about the child and I have come up with a behavior plan to give him some reward

time when he can go a certain length of time without shutting down and getting

angry. Unfortunately I am the person people ask about problem children sometimes

so I feel like I " should " know what to do, I " shouldn't " feel at a loss. Time to

start another day and give these ideas a shot!!! THANKS again!!!!

>

>

> Subject: School!!!!

> To: ACT_for_the_Public

> Date: Monday, 28 March, 2011, 23:22

>

> OK, felt better at school last Friday but did have trouble with a nagging

anxiety over the weekend and did not sleep well Sat. or Sun. night. BUT I went

to school this morning determined to accept my anxious thoughts and to accept

myself for feeling anxious. It is so easy to feel like everyone is just floating

along with things not bothering them like they are bothering me. I want to feel

calm and in control so it is HARD for me to accept not feeling that way!!! I

thought I was doing better at ACT these past few months that I have been off the

list but what I guess had really happened was that for some reason the anxious

thoughts had subsided so I was basking and fusing with the good feelings so that

now that the fears are back I feel so oppressed by them, like they are in

control. Where do I need to begin again???

> If you will bare with me let me give you an example of what I do to see if

anyone has some helpful ideas. Ok, I have this difficult child and I tend to

have the feeling of anxiety while working with him because I am scared to death

he will do something I can't handle and that would make me look like a failure.

THEN I panic because I am having that feeling and think I won't be able to

function or feel normal again if I don't get rid of the feeling. It is so hard

for me not to see that feeling as a threat. I know these are classic symptoms of

struggle (the chess board, not dropping the rope) but I feel stuck there. The

more I feel like the thought is a threat to my well being, the more I argue with

it and the more defeated I feel. Then I go home feeling desperately out of

control. I did call a therapist I had seen 4 or 5 times to make an appointment

and that gave me a little relief and I must admit I took an ativan and that also

gave me some needed relief

> from the anxiety. I don't take those on a regular basis but I allow myself to

do that when these " spells " arise. Thanks in advance for any help you can give

me with a starting place of hopping back on the ACT horse!!

>

>

>

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