Guest guest Posted March 9, 2010 Report Share Posted March 9, 2010 hi friends whew it has been a scary time for me, i am just starting to be able to be up some time in the day. actually welcoming the old symptoms! my husband and i keep looking back over the calendar and trying to figure out what happened a month ago. really, one minute of 432 on the emem? 5 seconds of 448 on the coil a week earlier? 1/3 of a detoxamin? walking two telephone poles worth up a hill? a rare sauna? at any rate the awful heart palps are finally calmed from 4 or 5 hours at a stretch to occasional. heart is fine. the weak empty vibrating feeling of nothingness and the endless death thoughts dissolved, they only come back sometimes in the later morning and that's a normal enough piece of my worst time anyway. my world is a bit bigger than my bed, the bathroom, a bite to eat, bed. i stopped all my supps excepting milk thistle, a tiny amount of liquid mag, cod liver oil, and i forget what else, but it is minimal. did make a difference, i guess my body doesn't want to process anything. in the meantime i am so happy to be alive again! funny how everything ceases to have significance. the little things that nag at me, like how will we live if i continue to get sicker, how to sell this house when i can't go through possessions, missing my loved ones, shouldn't that dead tree come down, etc..it all is whisked away by the overwhelming feeling of a life-death struggle. and now that i'm doing better i feel like i can decide that if the tree falls down it just will, i can't use up my own energies trying to influence my environment all the time. so i snagged a little bit of mental freedom out of it. :>) xoxox and thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers always susie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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