Not sure how to handle this situation, help?

[Guest guest]

Hello everyone, I wonder if anyone could help me with this one.As you might remember I suffer from agoraphobia. Before ACT (which I have been in contact with for over 2 months) I was doing CBT (for about 4 months) and before that I just avoided or distracted myself. In the last year or so, I have managed to go and come back to work on the bus (only a 5 minute journey, or sometimes a 15 minute journey, depending on what bus I catch). I have managed this by thinking skills from CBT, and also by cognitive escape thoughts and distractions. The past 3 weeks, I have not been

well, I was not able to catch the bus because I was not even able to walk to the bus stop as I was so out of breath (this problem is physical and not related to anxiety). Now I am a lot better, I am finding it very hard going back on the bus. The thing is now that I am into ACT, and have started to have my first experiences with willingness, I feel unable to lean on the CBT thinking techniques and all the other things I do to avoid my pain. So instead, I am avoiding the situation full stop.The thing is, after studying the chapter of Willingness in GOOYMAITYL, I now understand I need to approach my target (anxiety, panic) step by step, and a 100% willing. So I can now accept and feel anxiety 100% in certain situations. However, the bus situation for me is way down the line, and quite a few steps ahead of what I am willing to feel now.

Why? Because its a case of entrapment. When on the bus I have to stay on the bus until there is a stop. So the time between the stops I panic feeling trapped, and I am not ready to feel such feelings yet.So what can I do? I just can't seem to hide behind my CBT thinking skills and distractions as I am so aware of what I am doing and it freaks me out. I am very sure that if I go through my steps, I will get there and will be able to bring my willingness to being on the bus feeling 100% the anxiety that goes with it. But what about in the meantime? I am also worried that if my family catch on that I am taking taxis and avoiding the bus, they will think I have gone backwards and not forwards, and then create them stress and subsequently stress for myself. I can

imagine that when I went "forward" in catching the bus using CBT, and now it seems I have gone backwards using ACT, they will pick fault with what I am doing, out of their own fears that I am getting worse and kidding myself. I really know that is not true, I know that ACT is the way for me.I am quite sure I am respecting the steps I have to do. Even if the step is small, and even if the time is short, as long as I am 100% accepting, i am doing it correctly. I have had my first experiences of full acceptance of anxiety, and I am really excited about it, but what to do about the bus situation that I cannot accept yet? Not sure what to do. Any ideas guys? XXX______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

[Guest guest]

thinking out loud...it's odd that you would feel trapped in a bus but not in

your home...which is where agoraphobics usually entrap themselves

as for the bus, I can't imagine you couldn't get off at any point if you really

needed to, but what is your mind telling you might happen if you get trapped on

the bus?

I had a pilot of the plane let me out on the runway, when I had my first panic

attack, which was in a plane...same thing, afraid of getting trapped

>

> Hello everyone, I wonder if anyone could help me with this one.

> As you might remember I suffer from agoraphobia. Before ACT (which I have been

in contact with for over 2 months) I was doing CBT (for about 4 months) and

before that I just avoided or distracted myself. 

> In the last year or so, I have managed to go and come back to work on the bus

(only a 5 minute journey, or sometimes a 15 minute journey, depending on what

bus I catch). I have managed this by thinking skills from CBT, and also by

cognitive escape thoughts and distractions. The past 3 weeks, I have not been

well, I was not able to catch the bus because I was not even able to walk to the

bus stop as I was so out of breath (this problem is physical and not related to

anxiety). Now I am a lot better, I am finding it very hard going back on the

bus. The thing is now that I am into ACT, and have started to have my first

experiences with willingness, I feel unable to lean on the CBT thinking

techniques and all the other things I do to avoid my pain. So instead, I am

avoiding the situation full stop.

> The thing is, after studying the chapter of Willingness in GOOYMAITYL, I now

understand I need to approach my target (anxiety, panic) step by step, and a

100% willing. So I can now accept and feel anxiety 100% in certain situations.

However, the bus situation for me is way down the line, and quite a few steps

ahead of what I am willing to feel now. Why? Because its a case of entrapment.

When on the bus I have to stay on the bus until there is a stop. So the time

between the stops I panic feeling trapped, and I am not ready to feel such

feelings yet.

> So what can I do? I just can't seem to hide behind my CBT thinking skills and

distractions as I am so aware of what I am doing and it freaks me out. I am very

sure that if I go through my steps, I will get there and will be able to bring

my willingness to being on the bus feeling 100% the anxiety that goes with it.

But what about in the meantime? I am also worried that if my family catch on

that I am taking taxis and avoiding the bus, they will think I have gone

backwards and not forwards, and then create them stress and subsequently stress

for myself. I can imagine that when I went " forward " in catching the bus using

CBT, and now it seems I have gone backwards using ACT, they will pick fault with

what I am doing, out of their own fears that I am getting worse and kidding

myself. I really know that is not true, I know that ACT is the way for me.

> I am quite sure I am respecting the steps I have to do. Even if the step is

small, and even if the time is short, as long as I am 100% accepting, i am doing

it correctly. I have had my first experiences of full acceptance of anxiety, and

I am really excited about it, but what to do about the bus situation that I

cannot accept yet? Not sure what to do. Any ideas guys? XXX

>

>

> ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance

Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in

general. Feel free to browse. 

>

> http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

>

[Guest guest]

I don't have a whole lot of advice but I can tell you I have had to mix CBT with

ACT a couple times in the beginning. I don't feel there is anything wrong with

that and wouldn't think of it as a step back in ACT.

.

[Guest guest]

interesting, so agoraphobia isn't that much different than panic disorder, or

most other anxiety disorders in which the fearful stimuli is the feelings that

panic brings

interesting also, is that it seems like there is a fear of what the driver would

think if you told him the truth...which would compound it...i previously

experienced that myself

The Willingness in ACT comes from being willing to experience those

feelings...to put yourself in those situations that fear is currently present

for you, and be willing to tolerate them..

What is the issue is that you want to get rid of the fear...don't want to

experience it...which is totally understandable...but unfortunately, unlike the

outer world, which you can move something aside that is in your way, the mind

works differently...

I can tell you from experience, that after getting kicked in the ass enough from

trying to do this, it's futile...to borrow a phrase, trying to control* (ie make

them go away) your thoughts and feelings is like trying make a cat bark...the

result, as you have noticed, is that they will control you...

In my experience, the solution here, is to give up...which completely goes

against what we learn in society...but when I say to " give up " , what I mean, is

to give up trying to control it, trying to make it go away..

I assume, that if you believed you could handle it, you would have no problem

getting on the bus...so in saying that, one would conclude that whats between

you and the bus ride, is not the fear itself, but the belief that you can't

handle it..

If you question that, you will see it's a lie...not true...and if you need

proof, look back on your life...has their been anything you didn't handle?

>

> >

>

> > Hello everyone, I wonder if anyone could help me with this one.

>

> > As you might remember I suffer from agoraphobia. Before ACT (which I have

been in contact with for over 2 months) I was doing CBT (for about 4 months) and

before that I just avoided or distracted myself. 

>

> > In the last year or so, I have managed to go and come back to work on the

bus (only a 5 minute journey, or sometimes a 15 minute journey, depending on

what bus I catch). I have managed this by thinking skills from CBT, and also by

cognitive escape thoughts and distractions. The past 3 weeks, I have not been

well, I was not able to catch the bus because I was not even able to walk to the

bus stop as I was so out of breath (this problem is physical and not related to

anxiety). Now I am a lot better, I am finding it very hard going back on the

bus. The thing is now that I am into ACT, and have started to have my first

experiences with willingness, I feel unable to lean on the CBT thinking

techniques and all the other things I do to avoid my pain. So instead, I am

avoiding the situation full stop.

>

> > The thing is, after studying the chapter of Willingness in GOOYMAITYL, I now

understand I need to approach my target (anxiety, panic) step by step, and a

100% willing. So I can now accept and feel anxiety 100% in certain situations.

However, the bus situation for me is way down the line, and quite a few steps

ahead of what I am willing to feel now. Why? Because its a case of entrapment.

When on the bus I have to stay on the bus until there is a stop. So the time

between the stops I panic feeling trapped, and I am not ready to feel such

feelings yet.

>

> > So what can I do? I just can't seem to hide behind my CBT thinking skills

and distractions as I am so aware of what I am doing and it freaks me out. I am

very sure that if I go through my steps, I will get there and will be able to

bring my willingness to being on the bus feeling 100% the anxiety that goes with

it. But what about in the meantime? I am also worried that if my family catch on

that I am taking taxis and avoiding the bus, they will think I have gone

backwards and not forwards, and then create them stress

and subsequently stress for myself. I can imagine that when I went " forward "

in catching the bus using CBT, and now it seems I have gone backwards using ACT,

they will pick fault with what I am doing, out of their own fears that I am

getting worse and kidding myself. I really know that is not true, I know that

ACT is the way for me.

>

> > I am quite sure I am respecting the steps I have to do. Even if the step is

small, and even if the time is short, as long as I am 100% accepting, i am doing

it correctly. I have had my first experiences of full acceptance of anxiety, and

I am really excited about it, but what to do about the bus situation that I

cannot accept yet? Not sure what to do. Any ideas guys? XXX

>

> >

>

> >

>

> > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

>

> > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance

Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in

general. Feel free to browse. 

>

> >

>

> > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

>

> >

>