Re: not a good day

[Guest guest]

Hi Haakon:I'm sorry you're having a bad day. I've had a tough day, too. Although it sounds like you have had it a lot worse. I am fortunate not to be lonely. I have other issues. But I hope you'll be able to get some sleep and feel a bit better soon.BruceAgain I am unsure about the reasons for posting this, but I would rather have people annoyed at me than sitting with this alone. I have been crying all day, now I can't sleep. I can't be this lonely. I just can't. I don't know what to say. I feel broken. Maybe I'll not post for a while. Maybe try to do something else. I have never felt this lonely before as I can remember. Now I'll try to get some sleep.

[Guest guest]

I find that some of my loneliest times follow feeling good around other people.

I'm wondering if your opening up and being at the party for 3 1/2 hours had the

same effect on you. I know the loneliness that follows can be really difficult

and painful. I try to admit to myself that what it comes down to is (once again)

the choice of moving forward or retreating.

I wish you the best.

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> Again I am unsure about the reasons for posting this, but I would rather have

people annoyed at me than sitting with this alone. I have been crying all day,

now I can't sleep. I can't be this lonely. I just can't. I don't know what to

say. I feel broken. Maybe I'll not post for a while. Maybe try to do something

else. I have never felt this lonely before as I can remember. Now I'll try to

get some sleep.

>

[Guest guest]

Hi HÃ¥kon,

I too have had quite a hard week and their was some very painfull thoughts about whether I am too psycholgically damaged to ever be able to have true friends again. I also thought that after years of hard word why do I seem to be getting worse at the moment- and then more fear starts.

You can see how these thoughts could tip me into a spiral of fear and more depression but I decided to defuse as best I could. I also realised that I am still living too much in my head. I might say to myself, that unless I make more friends I will have an even grimmer future, and then I might say that things like things are getting worse, maybe much worse. This can be a frightening helta skelta but I concentrated on the pressent instead. Rather than buying these unpleasant thoughts I might focus on reallying enjoy my cup of tea, or enjoy my cycle ride home from work, or just concentrate on what I am doing when at work.

Cycling home I saw how lovely the Sun was, but when I got home my heart sunk be cause was dark and untidy. I then tidied up a little bit and after that I enjoyed my cup of darjeeling tea. Throughout the evening I enjoyed more tea and coffea (now decaf) and played guitar and keyboards.

At any moment I could have got sunk with pessimistic thoughts, afterall, I have been like this for years, and now things seem to be getting worse again. But I was aware that this was still too much thinking - thinking, and thinking, and thinking. I'm thinking all sorts of horrid things as I try to work it all out, or try to study it, or to try to find an answer to it all, etc.

So armed with what I have learned from ACT, I spent more time being mindful and less on these thoughts about my future, or my past. These thoughts kept cropping up but I just let the go again and got on with the pressent.

In the end I start to realise how much I frighten the life out of myself, and how this terror can lead to a sleepless night, or make talking to people more difficult because I might have convinced myself that there is something peculiar about me.

As a result of being more mindful over the last few days, I am beginning to come through this ordeal feeling much better, maybe confident even. (And I am no expert at mindfulness, believe me). But the thoughts just aren't scaring me so much because I find that they are not ruining my sleep (so much), or from me enjoying my tea, or from having something nice to eat, or from getting to work, or even from having some fun, etc. Boy, I am still very lonely (especially as my relationship with my girlfiend might end soon), but because I am not scaring myself so much, I notice that I have a little bit more energy to socialise when I do it, plus, because I have not convincing myself that I am completely weird, socialising is a little bit easier too. So you can see now that I have regained some hope.

I'm still lonely, but if I drag myself down with terrifying thoughts, I make it so much harder for me to socialise much so because I have probably burnt myself out with fear, and also because I have told myself that I am different to other people and won't ever be right. Defusing from all this has helped me to feel okay again. Yep, there are more battles to come, and my lonliness needs to be addresed, but getting my daily life back in order is a good start.

I have one more book to recommend. I love this book and it is called the Mindfulness Way through Depression, Freeing Yourself From Chronic Unahappiness, by Mark . It is gentler than ACT, but fits in very nicely with it.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Mindful-Way-Through-Depression-Unhappiness/dp/1593851286/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8 & qid=1299615207 & sr=8-1

KV

>> > Again I am unsure about the reasons for posting this, but I would rather have people annoyed at me than sitting with this alone. I have been crying all day, now I can't sleep. I can't be this lonely. I just can't. I don't know what to say. I feel broken. Maybe I'll not post for a while. Maybe try to do something else. I have never felt this lonely before as I can remember. Now I'll try to get some sleep.>