RE: Need Help with Defusion Exercise

[Guest guest]

Hi - I found this exercise very difficult when I first tried it. The purpose is to get you to look AT your thoughts, rather than BECOME your thoughts. If it doesn't work for you then you should go on to another exercise. Have you tried silly voices, etc. Or Tom the Talking Cat app for a smart phone? Those also help you laugh at the thoughts rather than run from them or wrestle with them.Remember, you must use all six ACT core processes to live a valued life. Have a look in your ACT toolkit to see if you find anything in the other compartments (rather than defusion) that might be useful. Your goal is to make it to the DMV, not to defuse from the thoughts.Defusion is one of the LETTING GO legs of the ACT stool. Letting go might also be heading out for the DMV and see how far you can go, comfortably. Even if you only make it to the street in front of your place that's progress. Make some incremental goals that you can accomplish more easily. In the end it may be that you just have to get up and go to the DMV. The streets of NYC are much more threatening than your mind, but it sure doesn't feel that way.Hope that helps,BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public From: carlos.carlos333@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 08:18:37 -0800Subject: Need Help with Defusion Exercise

The exercise I'm talking about is "Objectifying your Thoughts and Feelings" on pg. 78 of GOYMIYL. First some context: basically I was suppose to go today to the DMV to renew my non-driver's ID. On April 12, I have an appointment and I need it updated to enter the building. But I felt anxiety, mainly as a trembling of my limbs. Of course, I had the urge to stay at home, so...As for the exercise, I described my anxiety as being yellow, relatively small, and round. But I also characterized it as having great power, in fact touching it would give you an electric shock. I also pictured it as being very fast.Of course, I felt annoyed when I was asked if I could take it in. Basically, would I accept it? I thought it will give me an electric shock! Yet, I had realized that my description betrayed my negative attitude toward my anxiety: I

believed it's dangerous.My question is simple: should I change my description of my anxiety's power as being moderate or mild? After all, the exercise asked to objectify my anxiety, not my attitude toward it. C.

[Guest guest]

I like to imagine a magic hover platform that the (in this case) yellow, electric ball can sit on and follow me around.  That way, you are willing to have it near but not necessarily inside.  Since, in this case, if you take it inside, its too threatening because you will get shocked.  But you could go to the DMV with the hover thing following you, right?  I know, I " m weird.

 

Hi - I found this exercise very difficult when I first tried it. The purpose is to get you to look AT your thoughts, rather than BECOME your thoughts. If it doesn't work for you then you should go on to another exercise. Have you tried silly voices, etc. Or Tom the Talking Cat app for a smart phone? Those also help you laugh at the thoughts rather than run from them or wrestle with them.

Remember, you must use all six ACT core processes to live a valued life. Have a look in your ACT toolkit to see if you find anything in the other compartments (rather than defusion) that might be useful.  

Your goal is to make it to the DMV, not to defuse from the thoughts.Defusion is one of the LETTING GO legs of the ACT stool. Letting go might also be heading out for the DMV and see how far you can go, comfortably. Even if you only make it to the street in front of your place that's progress. Make some incremental goals that you can accomplish more easily. In the end it may be that you just have to get up and go to the DMV. The streets of NYC are much more threatening than your mind, but it sure doesn't feel that way.

Hope that helps,BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public

From: carlos.carlos333@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 08:18:37 -0800Subject: Need Help with Defusion Exercise

The exercise I'm talking about is " Objectifying your Thoughts and Feelings " on pg. 78 of GOYMIYL. First some context: basically I was suppose to go today to the DMV to renew my non-driver's ID. On April 12, I have an appointment and I need it updated to enter the building. But I felt anxiety, mainly as a trembling of my limbs. Of course, I had the urge to stay at home, so...

As for the exercise, I described my anxiety as being yellow, relatively small, and round. But I also characterized it as having great power, in fact touching it would give you an electric shock. I also pictured it as being very fast.

Of course, I felt annoyed when I was asked if I could take it in. Basically, would I accept it? I thought it will give me an electric shock! Yet, I had realized that my description betrayed my negative attitude toward my anxiety: I

believed it's dangerous.My question is simple: should I change my description of my anxiety's power as being moderate or mild? After all, the exercise asked to objectify my anxiety, not my attitude toward it.

C.

--

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

Love that one. My imagination works like that too, and it can be great fun.

KV

>

> >

> >

> > Hi - I found this exercise very difficult when I first tried it. The

> > purpose is to get you to look AT your thoughts, rather than BECOME your

> > thoughts. If it doesn't work for you then you should go on to another

> > exercise. Have you tried silly voices, etc. Or Tom the Talking Cat app for a

> > smart phone? Those also help you laugh at the thoughts rather than run from

> > them or wrestle with them.

> >

> > Remember, you must use all six ACT core processes to live a valued life.

> > Have a look in your ACT toolkit to see if you find anything in the other

> > compartments (rather than defusion) that might be useful.

> >

> > Your goal is to make it to the DMV, not to defuse from the thoughts.

> >

> > Defusion is one of the LETTING GO legs of the ACT stool. Letting go might

> > also be heading out for the DMV and see how far you can go, comfortably.

> > Even if you only make it to the street in front of your place that's

> > progress. Make some incremental goals that you can accomplish more easily.

> > In the end it may be that you just have to get up and go to the DMV. The

> > streets of NYC are much more threatening than your mind, but it sure doesn't

> > feel that way.

> >

> >

> >

> > Hope that helps,

> >

> > Bill

> >

> > ------------------------------

> > To: ACT_for_the_Public

> > From: carlos.carlos333@...

> > Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 08:18:37 -0800

> > Subject: Need Help with Defusion Exercise

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > The exercise I'm talking about is " Objectifying your Thoughts and Feelings "

> > on pg. 78 of GOYMIYL.

> >

> > First some context: basically I was suppose to go today to the DMV to renew

> > my non-driver's ID. On April 12, I have an appointment and I need it updated

> > to enter the building. But I felt anxiety, mainly as a trembling of my

> > limbs. Of course, I had the urge to stay at home, so...

> >

> > As for the exercise, I described my anxiety as being yellow, relatively

> > small, and round. But I also characterized it as having great power, in fact

> > touching it would give you an electric shock. I also pictured it as being

> > very fast.

> >

> > Of course, I felt annoyed when I was asked if I could take it in.

> > Basically, would I accept it? I thought it will give me an electric shock!

> > Yet, I had realized that my description betrayed my negative attitude toward

> > my anxiety: I believed it's dangerous.

> >

> > My question is simple: should I change my description of my anxiety's power

> > as being moderate or mild? After all, the exercise asked to objectify my

> > anxiety, not my attitude toward it.

> >

> > C.

> >

> >

> >

> >

> >

>

>

>

> --

>

[Guest guest]

Hey that's creative, ! I just looked back in my workbook and realized that I had jumped to conclusions. The exercise didn't said anything about taking it in or anything like that. All it was asking is if I had to struggle with it, see it as an enemy and so on. So I won't have to change its power. Thank you , C.

Hi - I found this exercise very difficult when I first tried it. The purpose is to get you to look AT your thoughts, rather than BECOME your thoughts. If it doesn't work for you then you should go on to another exercise. Have you tried silly voices, etc. Or Tom the Talking Cat app for a smart phone? Those also help you laugh at the thoughts rather than run from them or wrestle with them.

Remember, you must use all six ACT core processes to live a valued life. Have a look in your ACT toolkit to see if you find anything in the other compartments (rather than defusion) that might be useful.

Your goal is to make it to the DMV, not to defuse from the thoughts.Defusion is one of the LETTING GO legs of the ACT stool. Letting go might also be heading out for the DMV and see how far you can go, comfortably. Even if you only make it to the street in front of your place that's progress. Make some incremental goals that you can accomplish more easily. In the end it may be that you just have to get up and go to the DMV. The streets of NYC are much more threatening than your mind, but it sure doesn't feel that way.

Hope that helps,BillTo: ACT_for_the_Public

From: carlos.carlos333@...Date: Fri, 4 Mar 2011 08:18:37 -0800Subject: Need Help with Defusion Exercise

The exercise I'm talking about is "Objectifying your Thoughts and Feelings" on pg. 78 of GOYMIYL. First some context: basically I was suppose to go today to the DMV to renew my non-driver's ID. On April 12, I have an appointment and I need it updated to enter the building. But I felt anxiety, mainly as a trembling of my limbs. Of course, I had the urge to stay at home, so...

As for the exercise, I described my anxiety as being yellow, relatively small, and round. But I also characterized it as having great power, in fact touching it would give you an electric shock. I also pictured it as being very fast.

Of course, I felt annoyed when I was asked if I could take it in. Basically, would I accept it? I thought it will give me an electric shock! Yet, I had realized that my description betrayed my negative attitude toward my anxiety: I

believed it's dangerous.My question is simple: should I change my description of my anxiety's power as being moderate or mild? After all, the exercise asked to objectify my anxiety, not my attitude toward it.

C.

--

[Guest guest]

Hi ,

I thank you so much for sharing. I'm going through the workbook again, and this

time I had it " de-spined " at a copy center so I could really just focus in on a

few pages at a time, as I find GOOYMAIL amazingly comprehensive and at times

sometimes dense (no offense Steve--I'm sure you've heard that before),.but

is brilliant and a bit quick on the draw and frankly I think when

he wrote that book he assumed the best..that folks would just catch up with his

thinking...so some people like me need to sloooow down with this

fantasticlife-changing work-book. I started to " flirt " or dabble with it in the

summer of 2006 to give you some context. Over time, I lent it more and more

serious attention, one tiny step at a time. I now am here in 2011 and

approaching the work with a sense of liberating lightness that I didn't have

before.

And that came, I think from many things:

Trying on some of the more basic exercises again and again.

Posting to this board with questions. Noticing what came up with me

when I got responses, and then applying that to what I knew in ACT.

Going to ACT seminars

Speaking with ACT people, live and back-channel-- and noticing they each had a

different sort of lovely style and approach, some which resonated more or less.

Reading the posts on this board--all the way back and on the professional board

and saving the ones in another file that really

seemed to alter my way of viewing myself and others.

And I've only just begun!

From your words, it's hard to tell here, and I'm guessing you didn't go to the

DMV. Is that a correct assumption?

I'll be happy to share with you my experience with that exercise, which has

evolved and continues to evolve (and that may really be the point I'm making

here..it's all a process you do best by holding very patiently and lightly...),

but just curious off hand if you went or not..and if not, what are you

attributing this to?

With you,

Terry

>

> The exercise I'm talking about is " Objectifying your Thoughts and Feelings " on

pg. 78 of GOYMIYL.

>

> First some context: basically I was suppose to go today to the DMV to renew my

non-driver's ID. On April 12, I have an appointment and I need it updated to

enter the building. But I felt anxiety, mainly as a trembling of my limbs. Of

course, I had the urge to stay at home, so...

>

> As for the exercise, I described my anxiety as being yellow, relatively small,

and round. But I also characterized it as having great power, in fact touching

it would give you an electric shock. I also pictured it as being very fast.

>

> Of course, I felt annoyed when I was asked if I could take it in. Basically,

would I accept it? I thought it will give me an electric shock! Yet, I had

realized that my description betrayed my negative attitude toward my anxiety: I

believed it's dangerous.

>

> My question is simple: should I change my description of my anxiety's power as

being moderate or mild? After all, the exercise asked to objectify my anxiety,

not my attitude toward it.

>

> C.

>

[Guest guest]

Hey Terry and thank you for your response. You're right to assume that I didn't attended the DMV just yet. I'm hoping to attend tomorrow however. I've decided to try a combination of two techniques: Word Repetition - to defuse my thoughts and feelings - and Commitment to Openness - to accept them. An alternative would be the combination of the former with Physicalizing.I recalled in the past that when I labeled my private experiences alone, it didn't helped me to stop struggling with my "insides" when attending an appointment to a Job Center in December last year. But when I remembered the Commitment to Openness technique and used it, I was able to simply feel my anxiety without attachment to it. That's why now, I realize I'll need to

use a combination of the two to get me going there.Of course, I'll also have to set my values and goals, engage in committed action, and practice being in the present. But that will come later. But to answer your question, I attribute my avoidance to experiential avoidance of my anxiety.Anyway, wish me luck and thank you for your response, C.Subject: Re: Need Help with Defusion ExerciseTo: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Saturday, March 5, 2011, 6:24 PM

Hi ,

I thank you so much for sharing. I'm going through the workbook again, and this time I had it "de-spined" at a copy center so I could really just focus in on a few pages at a time, as I find GOOYMAIL amazingly comprehensive and at times sometimes dense (no offense Steve--I'm sure you've heard that before),.but is brilliant and a bit quick on the draw and frankly I think when he wrote that book he assumed the best..that folks would just catch up with his thinking...so some people like me need to sloooow down with this fantasticlife-changing work-book. I started to "flirt" or dabble with it in the summer of 2006 to give you some context. Over time, I lent it more and more serious attention, one tiny step at a time. I now am here in 2011 and approaching the work with a sense of liberating lightness that I didn't have before.

And that came, I think from many things:

Trying on some of the more basic exercises again and again.

Posting to this board with questions. Noticing what came up with me

when I got responses, and then applying that to what I knew in ACT.

Going to ACT seminars

Speaking with ACT people, live and back-channel-- and noticing they each had a different sort of lovely style and approach, some which resonated more or less.

Reading the posts on this board--all the way back and on the professional board and saving the ones in another file that really

seemed to alter my way of viewing myself and others.

And I've only just begun!

From your words, it's hard to tell here, and I'm guessing you didn't go to the DMV. Is that a correct assumption?

I'll be happy to share with you my experience with that exercise, which has evolved and continues to evolve (and that may really be the point I'm making here..it's all a process you do best by holding very patiently and lightly...), but just curious off hand if you went or not..and if not, what are you attributing this to?

With you,

Terry

>

> The exercise I'm talking about is "Objectifying your Thoughts and Feelings" on pg. 78 of GOYMIYL.

>

> First some context: basically I was suppose to go today to the DMV to renew my non-driver's ID. On April 12, I have an appointment and I need it updated to enter the building. But I felt anxiety, mainly as a trembling of my limbs. Of course, I had the urge to stay at home, so...

>

> As for the exercise, I described my anxiety as being yellow, relatively small, and round. But I also characterized it as having great power, in fact touching it would give you an electric shock. I also pictured it as being very fast.

>

> Of course, I felt annoyed when I was asked if I could take it in. Basically, would I accept it? I thought it will give me an electric shock! Yet, I had realized that my description betrayed my negative attitude toward my anxiety: I believed it's dangerous.

>

> My question is simple: should I change my description of my anxiety's power as being moderate or mild? After all, the exercise asked to objectify my anxiety, not my attitude toward it.

>

> C.

>