Re: The Listen ACT exercise

[Guest guest]

P.S. Its a great reminded how important it is to really listen to people, not only adolescents. Instead of judging, evaluating, telling them how they should feel ect______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/---

El vie, 18/2/11, experiential2010 escribió:De: experiential2010 Asunto: The Listen ACT exercisePara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: viernes, 18 de febrero, 2011 02:00

Hello Group,

I know there are threads going but I feel so excited about where the ACT work has been taking me lately. I'm just bursting to share with you guys. I've done plenty of work on imagery and emotional exposure, body sensations and thoughts, among others. This is one of the exercises that I got results from.

Listen – Exercise

I used this exercise to improve my communication awareness and effectiveness with my teenager by using imagery to see and hear her telling me, (with punctuation marks) everything written in the following passage. (Applying it to myself is also useful.)

__________________________________________________________

"When I ask you to listen to me and you start giving advice – you have not done what is asked.

When I ask you to listen to me and you start to tell me why I shouldn't feel that way – you are trampling my feelings.

When I ask you to listen to me and you feel you have to do something to solve my problems – you have failed me.

Listen! All I ask is that you listen. Not talk or do – just hear me.

And I can do for myself; I am not helpless. I may be discouraged and faltering, but not helpless.

When you do something for me that I can and need to do for myself – you contribute to my fear and weakness.

When you accept as a simple fact that I do feel what I feel, no matter how irrational, then I quit trying to convince you and can get about the business of understanding what is behind this irrational feeling – and when that is clear, the answers are obvious and I don't need advice.

So, please listen and just hear me, and if you want to talk – wait a minute for your turn, and I will listen to you."

__________________________________________________________

Sorry, I don't have an author for you...too many loose pieces of paper. I hope others can also gain from this exercise. I definitely find it easier to truly hear what my daughter is telling me.

Lou