Re: Re: Taking offense easily

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To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public >Sent: Fri, 19 November, 2010 15:15:38Subject: RE: Re: Taking offense easily

Good job - Keep practicing and accept the good days and the bad. And give yourself frequent pats on the back, even during the bad times. Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: aliciaholmes56@...Date: Fri, 19 Nov 2010 07:52:58 +0000Subject: Re: Re: Taking offense easily

Thankyou Bill, thats really supportive of you to say that, a pat on the back I did give myself = )

which is good too because i feel that i can take the pressure off and relax abit that I am making good use of my time and practicing ACT.

I really like your bus analogy and i pictured you sitting there smilling at your scary passengers and it made me smile too! i'm happy for you to here that ACT is working for you too.

I think of my scary thoughts as my demons (from the boat) i even picture them being black and jagged and abit cartoon like. I say to them "come on demons, lets go to work, a social event e.c.t, e.c.t" and they come along with me to wherever i'm going.

I find this part the most helpful because most of the time i still go to whatever it is that im feeling anxious about and just "take them with me".

However, there are times when they do win and I don't go out of fear and then i remeber Russes words from "the happyness trap" ......"what would you do if fear was not an obsticle?" and I find i can forgive myself and plan the next thing to take my demons on an outing to. he he.

lol, i've just written an essay! = )

To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public >Sent: Tue, 16 November, 2010 11:18:03Subject: RE: Re: Taking offense easily Hi You said "then i noticed that i was still trying to make the thoughts go away, which im ok with (once i become aware of this)

because i seem to just notice that too and then try to accept that they will still be there but i don't have to waste my energy getting caught up in them."

I think your comment is a great testimonial about using OBSERVING SELF ("noticed/notice") and how taking that step back is so powerful. It allows you to SEE what's going on rather than BE what's going on. Your comment also shows that you know which ACT tool to pick up next -" ACCEPT that they will still be there but don't have to waste energy..."

Give yourself a soft pat on the back!

My mind will always want the scary thoughts to go away so I can just drive my bus with no scary/annoying passengers to deal with. But they will always be watching for an opportunity to try to sit in my seat. I like the image of me just noticing them and smiling at them in the rear view mirror, even though they still look scary.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: aliciaholmes56@...Date: Tue, 16 Nov 2010 07:45:38 +0000Subject: Re: Re: Taking offense easily

Thanks Bill, thats great to hear that you have accepted that that is the way you are and I think that is the key here. It's funny that we try to pick up hurt or offence from others when they probably aren't even aware that we have said anything to upset them anyway. lol.

I find connecting with others helps tho with this and with the social anxiety so thankyou for the advice on that some time ago. This morning i did some more defusion and then i noticed that i was still trying to make the thoughts go away, which im ok with (once i become aware of this)

because i seem to just notice that too and then try to accept that they will still be there but i don't have to waste my energy getting caught up in them.

Do you ever still sometimes have the same thing of trying to make the thoughts go away even though it seems you accept them most of the time and don't buy into them? just hoping that the more i practice the more i will be able to accept them.

Many thanks,

.

To: ACT_for_the_Public <act_for_the_public >Sent: Tue, 16 November, 2010 0:12:01Subject: RE: Re: Taking offense easily - I have the habit of replaying my day each evening and wondering if I offended or hurt someone. This is often when my funks are poised to strike. I often find myself trying to figure out how to reconnect with someone so I can hear their voice to see if I pick up any sign of hurt or offense. Never found an instance where I had. I've learned to accept that this is the way I am. Have the thoughts subsided? - nope! But I don't buy them nearly as often. Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: aliciaholmes56@...Date: Mon, 15 Nov 2010 22:59:00 +0000Subject: Re: Re: Taking offense easily

hi guys, it's weird because i just read this thread after having two "taking offence easily" thoughts within about ten minutes of eachother and ifound it a real comfort to see others are going through the it too.... I repeatedly here the thought," im too sensitiv."...right after ive reacted to the "im not good enough" thought that my mind has taken from whatever it was the person said this particular minute. But then i had this thought, that i found helpful....if i were to change myself to suit every single persons comments/opinions/ect then i would never have a clue who i was...so im liking trying to work on accepting myself and others opions without buying into them....which for me is the hardest part..i have some good examples to practice defusion with and tonight..lol..has anybody else had anymore developments on this subject? = )

To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Mon, 15 November, 2010 21:09:42Subject: Re: Re: Taking offense easily

I think my problem is i'm a compulsive shopperwhen it comes to thoughts!

This made me smile in a very big way. I will definitely be quoting that!

best

kelly

G. 205 Peabody BuildingPsychology DepartmentUniversity of MississippiOxford, MS 38677ph: fax:

academic homepage:www.olemiss.edu/working/kwilson/kwilson.htm

also check outwww.onelifellc.comwww.mindfulnessfortwo.comwww.facebook.com/kellygwilsonwww.tastybehaviorism.comwww.abnormalwootwoot.com

thaks Bill = )