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Posted

They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with exercises such as "leaves on a stream" or "labeling of thoughts and feelings" they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say "its a thought", however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get distracted without even noticing, as soon as you become aware you can say to yourself kindly "thank you for returning to awareness" and continue. It doesn't matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again. With time you will be better and better at it XXX______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃ¥kon sen escribió:De: HÃ¥kon sen Asunto: what to do with

thoughtsPara: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true, they say: "you will have to look into this and fix this". i am not sure how to defuse from these. they say "this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit". my mind takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city, and he says "you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out", and then it throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says "you are no one, you are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous, little piece of shit". hehe...my mind is quite a character.

the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say "this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you". this is for example "you have no personality" and "if you don't understand why you can't be close to another human being, your life will be shit".

today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?

haakon

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thank you. i really like the approach. that's what seemed so appealing about

mindfulness in the first place. all the thoughts are " just thoughts " . some of

them claim to be of major importance, and those are the ones most likely to hook

me. it is really hard to let go of some of them, it feels like giving up. |it is

difficult to see that regular problem-solving just isn't going to fix it. but i

feel fresh right now. fresh in my thoughts. some thoughts now tell me " you are

using defusion as a weapon " , and " just wait, this battle isn't over yet " . what

about those?

haakon

>

> They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with exercises

such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and feelings " they more

you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing guests in

your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily practice. If I

were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " , however demanding and

important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get distracted without

even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to yourself kindly

" thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't matter how many

times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing that matters is

that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again. With time you will

be better and better at it XXX

>

> ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance

Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in

general. Feel free to browse. 

>

> http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

>

> --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃ¥kon sen escribió:

>

> De: HÃ¥kon sen

> Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

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> i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at least

these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true, they

say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to defuse

from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and

you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

>

>

>

> the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say " this is

true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example " you have no

personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to another

human being, your life will be shit " .

>

>

>

> today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my

thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like

a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not

always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?

>

>

>

> haakon

>

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Posted
Posted

I know what you mean by the " feels like giving up " ...we are taught from early on

to never " give up " ...but essentially, this is what you need to do here...to

" give up " the fight

It's a battle you can't win, coming from that perspective

Surrendering the control you never had over your thoughts

As for your last question...that's one of those thoughts that normally hook

one...but if you just remain mindful, you will see that it can just come and go

like the rest...and if you react to it on an emotional level...just watch that

too...it will pass too

> >

> > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with

exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and feelings "

they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing

guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily

practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> >

> > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance

Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in

general. Feel free to browse. 

> >

> > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> >

> > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃ¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@> escribió:

> >

> > De: HÃ¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

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> > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at least

these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true, they

say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to defuse

from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and

you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> >

> >

> >

> > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say " this is

true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example " you have no

personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to another

human being, your life will be shit " .

> >

> >

> >

> > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my

thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like

a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not

always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?

> >

> >

> >

> > haakon

> >

>

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it's strange how moods change. today i have gone from down in a well to really

high up with no apparent reason. it's a little scary. i get afraid of going back

down again, so i might want to avoid things etetc. it's funny. word mode again.

i never signed up for this when i learned to read.

haakon

> > >

> > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with

exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and feelings "

they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing

guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily

practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > >

> > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance

Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in

general. Feel free to browse. 

> > >

> > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > >

> > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃ¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@> escribió:

> > >

> > > De: HÃ¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

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> > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at least

these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true, they

say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to defuse

from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and

you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say " this

is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example " you have

no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to another

human being, your life will be shit " .

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my

thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like

a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not

always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > haakon

> > >

> >

>

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Depending on how severe your ups and downs are, you might benefit from some medication that can help you reach a more balanced state where you can begin to usefully apply Act. Are you seeing a doctor?Regards,Detlef> > > >> > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with exercises such as "leaves on a stream" or "labeling of thoughts and feelings" they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say "its a thought", however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get distracted without even noticing, as soon as you become aware you can say to yourself kindly "thank you for returning to awareness" and continue. It doesn't matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again. With time you will be better and better at it XXX> > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. > > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/> > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃ¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@> escribió:> > > > > > > > De: HÃ¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>> > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts> > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true, they say: "you will have to look into this and fix this". i am not sure how to defuse from these. they say "this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit". my mind takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city, and he says "you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out", and then it throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says "you are no one, you are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous, little piece of shit". hehe...my mind is quite a character.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say "this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you". this is for example "you have no personality" and "if you don't understand why you can't be close to another human being, your life will be shit".> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > haakon> > > >> > >> >>

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hahahaha " I never signed up for this when I learned to read "

> > > >

> > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with

exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and feelings "

they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing

guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily

practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > >

> > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse. 

> > > >

> > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > >

> > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃ¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@> escribió:

> > > >

> > > > De: HÃ¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

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> > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at

least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true,

they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to

defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect,

and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say

" this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example " you

have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my

thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like

a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not

always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > haakon

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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hey, helena and detlef.

i have taken medication for bipolar disorder in the past, but it had no effect.

no medication i have taken has had any effect. i'm sorry to say. i do not want

to take any more drugs ever. it feels like a big scam to me. and whenever i'm at

my weakest, they come dragging this new drug, which has yielded promising

results or whatever. the last drug i took was supposed to be anti-depressant AND

take care of my social anxiety, and of course it didn't work. that was the rant.

i am glad to be in a good mood now, and it is not mania, it's just been so long

that i am afraid of rushing back.

something just happened today with defusion, i found that i could actually

defuse from some really painful thoughts, the intense thoughts of having to

understand and fix my ever larger problems with myself, my own personality, my

social insecurity, my stupidity, the list goes on. i was able to let go of them

for now, and it gave me a window to catch my breath, and it felt very good. i

think i understood that i will experience pain in the future, i have experienced

pain in the past, but by doing what i did today i can avoid enhancing it to no

avail. usually it comes back, though. we'll see tomorrow.

haakon

> > > >

> > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with

exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and feelings "

they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing

guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily

practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > >

> > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse. 

> > > >

> > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > >

> > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@> escribió:

> > > >

> > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > >

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> > > >

> > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at

least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true,

they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to

defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect,

and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say

" this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example " you

have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my

thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like

a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not

always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > haakon

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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Posted

I can certainly relate to that " rapid mood change " when defusion works and a thought that seemed overwhelming and true is suddenly seen as just a thought:: just another bunch of words in the mind's endless ongoing narrative. The sense of relief that arises at that moment is really great. 

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sorry for the rant. i have had so much hope in relation to taking medication,

and nothing has made a difference. didn't mean to come across as offensive.

probably my mood will fall back to normal, but i enjoyed it

haakon

> > > > >

> > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with

exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and feelings "

they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing

guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily

practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can

say to yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It

doesn't matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only

thing that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and

again. With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > >

> > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse. 

> > > > >

> > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > >

> > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Æ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribiÃÆ'³:

> > > > >

> > > > > De: HÃÆ'Æ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >  

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at

least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true,

they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to

defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect,

and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say

" this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example " you

have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing

my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem

like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm

not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > haakon

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

i'm back in the soup.

haakon

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice

with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and

feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as

passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible

daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing, Â as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em EquanimityÂ

> > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse.Â

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribió:

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Â

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable.

at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true,

they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to

defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect,

and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that

say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example

" you have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was

tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they

seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot,

right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they

get?

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

Question:

Do you believe that you shouldn't have anxiety?

Do you believe you shouldn't feel insecure?

I assume the answer is Yes

I can tell you from my experience, as right as you might think you are in that,

there is no absolute truth to it

Anxiety sufferers including myself for many years try so desperately to

eradicate their anxiety, stemming from the belief that it " shouldn't " be

there...that it means something is wrong with them (another judgment based on

comparison to a perceived norm)

But I can tell you, that while that seems like a very rational belief, it denies

the reality of the situation...denies what is happening here and now.... " should "

and " shouldn't " are purely judgments... " wrong " is a judgment

What I have found is that: That very denying of what you are experiencing, forms

the resistance, that fuels the anxiety itself

If you believe you shouldn't have anxiety/panic, of course when you experience

it, you are going to react to it...you have deemed it a threat by your belief

that it shouldn't be there...it's a completely natural response

But I can tell you that once I dropped those beliefs, let go of this idea that I

" shouldn't " experience anxiety when I in reality was, that it meant something

was " wrong " with me, when in reality there is no right or wrong only What

Is...it allowed me to accept it, with no fight...no barrier no separation....and

guess what happened?

Anxiety significantly diminished...while I still get it here and there, it comes

and goes with much more ease, because I don't deem it as a threat to my being

anymore...which drops the fear of fear itself

Accept the reality of it, not what you think your reality should* be

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice

with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and

feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as

passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible

daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing, Â as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em EquanimityÂ

> > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse.Â

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribió:

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > Â

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable.

at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true,

they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to

defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect,

and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that

say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example

" you have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was

tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they

seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot,

right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they

get?

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

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Posted
Posted

thank you for the reply.

i am 100% with you in theory. i just lack practice. can you really do this? not

resist? that is awesome.

when i think back to the situations just earlier today, i can't imagine how to

do it. how to not resist. could you describe a particular situation where it

worked?

haakon

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice

with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and

feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as

passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible

daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing, Â as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em EquanimityÂ

> > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse.Â

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribió:

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > Â

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very

uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them

claim to be true, they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am

not sure how to defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not

have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind

takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in

another city, and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure,

you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it

throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you

are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a

ridiculous, little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that

say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example

" you have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was

tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they

seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot,

right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they

get?

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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Share on other sites
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Posted
Posted

WARNING...to those that care...this isn't purely ACT, so if you take issue with

it not being strictly ACT, then please just disregard...ACT is just one method

in my toolbox...albeit a very good one

If you can be very mindful, you can be aware of the thought and its subsequent

reaction without adding to it...just allow it to be

That reaction is completely natural based on what you are believing

So don't get caught up on the reaction...it's an effect of what you are

believing...not the thought itself, as thoughts in and of themselves are

neutral...like snowflakes

While it might feel unpleasant, you are never going to be able to stop your body

from defending itself against a perceived* threat...it's biological

So don't waste your time with it

Our fight/flight system is there for a reason

It's what you are believing that needs to be examined

You can observe your thoughts and feelings all day long, but the energy will

still be there if you don't ever take a look and question your erroneous belief

systems that are fueling them..

Ones that seem to true, like, " I shouldn't have anxiety " , " I can't handle this " ,

etc...

Write on a piece of paper everything you believe about your anxiety...whether it

should be there, what you think it means about you, everything...don't hold back

And what you will find, is a bunch of judgments not based in any reality...it's

simply not true...if you believe it to be true, of course you are going to

resist it...very logical right?

And those very judgments are what keep the house of cards in tact...let go of

those beliefs, and it will crumble

It did for me

This doesn't mean you will never experience anxiety, nor ever feel

insecure...but it take away the threat that those thoughts and feelings pose to

your being

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice

with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and

feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as

passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible

daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing, Â as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em EquanimityÂ

> > > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse.Â

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribió:

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Â

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very

uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them

claim to be true, they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am

not sure how to defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not

have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind

takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in

another city, and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure,

you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it

throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you

are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a

ridiculous, little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones

that say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for

example " you have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be

close to another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was

tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they

seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot,

right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they

get?

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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Share on other sites
Guest guest

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Posted
Posted

Well Done, HÃ¥kon! I was getting concerned for you. For some folk, these drugs

are complete poison and can cause years of addiction while making things much

worse. I have learned the hard way too.

KV

> > > > >

> > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with

exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and feelings "

they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing

guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily

practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > >

> > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse. 

> > > > >

> > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > >

> > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@> escribió:

> > > > >

> > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >  

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at

least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true,

they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to

defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect,

and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say

" this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example " you

have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing

my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem

like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm

not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > > haakon

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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I used to take a fraction of the lowest form on Xanax once in a blue

moon....just that tiny amount would be enough to take the edge off and create

some distance From the anxiety I was experiencing..

So, while I am generally anti med, I wouldn't necessarily completely vilify it

either

> > > > > >

> > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with

exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and feelings "

they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing

guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily

practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > >

> > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity 

> > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse. 

> > > > > >

> > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > >

> > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribió:

> > > > > >

> > > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >  

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at

least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true,

they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am not sure how to

defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect,

and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific

situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city,

and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to

find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are just a

chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous,

little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say

" this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example " you

have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was

tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they

seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot,

right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they

get?

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > > > haakon

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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Occasionally, I will take a pain killer to help me sleep when I wake up early. I

will only do this only once at the weekend and it can be very pleasant. If

tranquilisers did not cause such terrible rebound anxiety for me I might use

them ocasionally as well. I'm not anti-med, but I like to play safe and not take

my eye off the ball, which is my eventual healing which I believe is best

achieved naturally if I want it to be real and for it to last.

KV

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice

with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and

feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as

passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible

daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em EquanimityÂÂ

> > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse.ÂÂ

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribió:

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > ÂÂ

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very

uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them

claim to be true, they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am

not sure how to defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not

have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind

takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in

another city, and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure,

you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it

throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you

are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a

ridiculous, little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that

say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for example

" you have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be close to

another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was

tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they

seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot,

right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they

get?

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

> >

> >

> >

> > ------------------------------------

> >

> > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

> >

> > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> > unsubscribe by sending an email to

> > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@...! Groups Links

> >

> >

> >

>

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I'm hoping it's alphabet soup. :)Cheers,Detlef> > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with exercises such as "leaves on a stream" or "labeling of thoughts and feelings" they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say "its a thought", however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to yourself kindly "thank you for returning to awareness" and continue. It doesn't matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again. With time you will be better and better at it XXX> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity > > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, H�'¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@> escribió:> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > De: H�'¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>> > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts> > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public > > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true, they say: "you will have to look into this and fix this". i am not sure how to defuse from these. they say "this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit". my mind takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city, and he says "you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out", and then it throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says "you are no one, you are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous, little piece of shit". hehe...my mind is quite a character.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say "this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you". this is for example "you have no personality" and "if you don't understand why you can't be close to another human being, your life will be shit".> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > haakon> > > > > > > >> > > > > > >> > > > > >> > > > >> > > > > > > >> > >> >>

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i have thought about it a little now, and it is true that i am trying not to

feel anxiety. but how do i respond in the situation? i am going back to work

tomorrow, and i am not looking forward to it.

i always try to come across as cool, and when i can't ,i beat myself up. being

cool feels like my life raft, stupid as it may sound. i feel a strong resistance

when i think about letting others see my anxiety. and it makes me angry, it

feels like THEY are doing it to me.

how do i know if i am willing? i understand that i need lots of training.

willing to feel one's anxiety is not the same as being totally subdued, is it?

that's the primary source of resistance, i guess.

when i think about it, nothing has ever made me as angry as when someone tells

me to accept myself as i am.

thanks for the concern, kaivey. and thanks to (vcferrara? forgot your first

name) for some really good stuff.

haakon

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice

with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts and

feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as

passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible

daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em EquanimityÂÂ

> > > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying

Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and

my life in general. Feel free to browse.ÂÂ

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribió:

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > ÂÂ

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very

uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them

claim to be true, they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am

not sure how to defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not

have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind

takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in

another city, and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure,

you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it

throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you

are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a

ridiculous, little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones

that say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for

example " you have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be

close to another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was

tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they

seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot,

right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they

get?

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > >

> > > ------------------------------------

> > >

> > > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

> > >

> > > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> > > unsubscribe by sending an email to

> > > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@! Groups Links

> > >

> > >

> > >

> >

>

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Posted
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hehe. yeah. it probably is

haakon

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you

> practice with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of

> thoughts and feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer,

> and the thoughts as passing guests in your space. You need to give it

> some time, and if possible daily practice. If I were you whatever the

> thought I would say " its a thought " , however demanding and important the

> mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get distracted without even

> noticing, Â as soon as you become aware you can say to yourself

> kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

> matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only

> thing that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again

> and again. With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em EquanimityÂ

> > > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience

> applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in

> particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.Â

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, H�'¥kon sen

> <hkoneriksen@> escribió:

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > De: H�'¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > Â

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very

> uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of

> them claim to be true, they say: " you will have to look into this and

> fix this " . i am not sure how to defuse from these. they say " this

> noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and you're doing it wrong,

> you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific situation, like i

> wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city, and he says

> " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to find

> out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

> more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are

> just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a

> ridiculous, little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the

> ones that say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " .

> this is for example " you have no personality " and " if you don't

> understand why you can't be close to another human being, your life will

> be shit " .

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and

> i was tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some

> of them. they seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw

> them in the pot, right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how

> much respect should they get?

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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Reading your post reminded me again of the importance of mindfulness meditation. In fact I think that this is key to learning and applying Act in our lives.The other day I linked to a video about mindfulness meditation being the key to a healthier society. At that site there are many very good links to videos that support this, including several of Jon Kabat-Zinn expounding on this topic and even leading some guided meditation sessions the viewer can participate in.Mindfulness meditation can and does help practitioners to understand the working of this fabulous instrument we call "the mind," and how we tend to lose ourselves in its technicolor extravaganzas as though they are reality, when reality is and always will be this very moment. It's a difficult idea to get one's head around and although simple, the practice of mindfulness is quite difficult -- but not impossible! It can be learned just as any skill can be learned. Think of it as "flipping" one's point of view -- from the thinking self to the observing self -- the observing self being that aspect of our experience that is the equanimous, still, steady heart of our being.Regards,Detlef> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you practice with exercises such as "leaves on a stream" or "labeling of thoughts and feelings" they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts as passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say "its a thought", however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to yourself kindly "thank you for returning to awareness" and continue. It doesn't matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again. With time you will be better and better at it XXX> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity > > > > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, H�'¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@> escribió:> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > De: H�'¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>> > > > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts> > > > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public > > > > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >  > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them claim to be true, they say: "you will have to look into this and fix this". i am not sure how to defuse from these. they say "this noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit". my mind takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city, and he says "you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out", and then it throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says "you are no one, you are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a ridiculous, little piece of shit". hehe...my mind is quite a character.> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones that say "this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you". this is for example "you have no personality" and "if you don't understand why you can't be close to another human being, your life will be shit".> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i was tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them. they seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot, right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they get?> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > haakon> > > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > > >> > > > > > > >> > > > > > >> > > > > > > > > > > >> > > > >> > > >> > >> >>

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no problem. i don't. clean as a whistle.

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more

> > > you practice with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of

> > > thoughts and feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer,

> > > and the thoughts as passing guests in your space. You need to give it

> > > some time, and if possible daily practice. If I were you whatever the

> > > thought I would say " its a thought " , however demanding and important the

> > > mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get distracted without even

> > > noticing, Â as soon as you become aware you can say to yourself

> > > kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

> > > matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only

> > > thing that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again

> > > and again. With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em

> > > EquanimityÂ

> > > > > > > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my

> > > experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and

> > > agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to

> > > browse.Â

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'�'Â¥kon sen

> > > <hkoneriksen@> escribiÃÆ'³:

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > De: HÃÆ'�'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with

> > > thoughts

> > > > > > > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > Â

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very

> > > uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of

> > > them claim to be true, they say: " you will have to look into this and

> > > fix this " . i am not sure how to defuse from these. they say " this

> > > noticing of thoughts does not have an effect, and you're doing it wrong,

> > > you might as well quit " . my mind takes a specific situation, like i

> > > wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in another city, and he says

> > > " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure, you have to find

> > > out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it throws on

> > > more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you are

> > > just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a

> > > ridiculous, little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are

> > > the ones that say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " .

> > > this is for example " you have no personality " and " if you don't

> > > understand why you can't be close to another human being, your life will

> > > be shit " .

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking,

> > > and i was tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away

> > > some of them. they seem like a matter of life and death. i should just

> > > throw them in the pot, right? i'm not always sure what to do with them.

> > > how much respect should they get?

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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If you were your kid, you think you could accept him?

Now think of that fearful, insecure side of you, as you as a child, where you

picked all this stuff up, most likely from a lack of love, security, etc...

Now, when it comes up...you think you can love and accept that child...or are

you going to keep on trying to ignore, resist, and push him away?

Be the person you have been looking for..

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > They are thoughts, but they are not you. The more you

practice with exercises such as " leaves on a stream " or " labeling of thoughts

and feelings " they more you start to see that you the observer, and the thoughts

as passing guests in your space. You need to give it some time, and if possible

daily practice. If I were you whatever the thought I would say " its a thought " ,

however demanding and important the mind tells you it is. Sometimes you will get

distracted without even noticing,  as soon as you become aware you can say to

yourself kindly " thank you for returning to awareness " and continue. It doesn't

matter how many times you distract or even buy into a thought, the only thing

that matters is that you are willing to go back to awareness again and again.

With time you will be better and better at it XXX

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > ______________________Signature: Mrs Em EquanimityÂÂ

> > > > > > > > > > This is my personal blog where I record my experience

applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in

particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse.ÂÂ

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > --- El jue, 17/2/11, HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

escribió:

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > De: HÃÆ'Â¥kon sen <hkoneriksen@>

> > > > > > > > > > Asunto: what to do with thoughts

> > > > > > > > > > Para: ACT_for_the_Public

> > > > > > > > > > Fecha: jueves, 17 de febrero, 2011 13:01

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > ÂÂ

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > i usually meditate every day, and often it is very

uncomfortable. at least these days. i get a lot of thoughts, and some of them

claim to be true, they say: " you will have to look into this and fix this " . i am

not sure how to defuse from these. they say " this noticing of thoughts does not

have an effect, and you're doing it wrong, you might as well quit " . my mind

takes a specific situation, like i wsant to visit a friend of mine, who lives in

another city, and he says " you can't do it, cause you will feel like a failure,

you have to find out who you are first, you have to figure it out " , and then it

throws on more stuff, just to complicate matters. it says " you are no one, you

are just a chameleon with no inner life, no power, no confidence, you are a

ridiculous, little piece of shit " . hehe...my mind is quite a character.

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > the thoughts that are most likely to hook me, are the ones

that say " this is true, it is serious, and it debilitates you " . this is for

example " you have no personality " and " if you don't understand why you can't be

close to another human being, your life will be shit " .

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > today i imagined a big pot of thought stew cooking, and i

was tossing my thoughts into it. but i am afraid of throwing away some of them.

they seem like a matter of life and death. i should just throw them in the pot,

right? i'm not always sure what to do with them. how much respect should they

get?

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > > > haakon

> > > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > > >

> > > > > > > >

> > > > > > >

> > > > > >

> > > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > > > ------------------------------------

> > > >

> > > > For other ACT materials and list serves see www.contextualpsychology.org

> > > >

> > > > If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

> > > > unsubscribe by sending an email to

> > > > ACT_for_the_Public-unsubscribe@! Groups Links

> > > >

> > > >

> > > >

> > >

> >

>

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wasn't what I was saying at all, but thanks for your input

he is asking about self-love, and I was trying to show him a different

perspective, that might help him start seeing how he could start loving and

accepting his " self " ...even Russ just recently used a child analogy

your defense is strong of anything that doesn't fall exactly in line with what

the ACT books tell you

and yes, I know you don't mean any harm, just like nobody else does when they

react critically

I done ACT principles plenty, even before I read the book...but there has also

been plenty of other things I have picked up on the journey

If you have a problem with that, keep it to yourself

> >

> > i have thought about it a little now, and it is true that i am trying not to

feel anxiety. but how do i respond in the situation? i am going back to work

tomorrow, and i am not looking forward to it.

> >

> > i always try to come across as cool, and when i can't ,i beat myself up.

being cool feels like my life raft, stupid as it may sound. i feel a strong

resistance when i think about letting others see my anxiety. and it makes me

angry, it feels like THEY are doing it to me.

> >

> > how do i know if i am willing? i understand that i need lots of training.

willing to feel one's anxiety is not the same as being totally subdued, is it?

that's the primary source of resistance, i guess.

> >

> > when i think about it, nothing has ever made me as angry as when someone

tells me to accept myself as i am.

> >

> > thanks for the concern, kaivey . and thanks to ( vcferrara ? forgot your

first name) for some really good stuff.

> >

> > haakon

>

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> If you do not wish to belong to ACT_for_the_Public, you may

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>

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>

> wasn't what I was saying at all, but thanks for your

> input. he is asking about self-love, and I was trying

> to show him a different perspective

I think we on this list go back & forth between

various stances of kvetching, encouraging, sharing,

suggesting, and so on. There is no one way to post.

Your post about loving & accepting the image of

ourselves as a child is a good one.

Myself, I interpreted Helena's post not as so much

as criticizing your suggestion, but as wondering if

we sometimes need a " how " to go along with the " what. "

And actually I think we often do need a " how. "

Something that wrote in a book for

therapists comes to mind on this point; his context

was slightly different, but I think his point works

here as well:

" Mere awareness that something, though frightening,

is begnign doesn't seem sufficient [for change].

It's entirely common for people with agoraphobia

to know that their fears are overblown, for those

with alcoholism to know they need to stop drinking,

and for individuals struggling with depression to

know they must get upo and meet the day. "

So indeed, ACT (and other approaches) can help us

by suggesting various " hows " for getting unstuck

when " what " seems clear but also " impossible. "

- R.

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Agreed, acceptance is the key issue here, whether or not your stuttering habits

ever change...though I suspect if you can truly accept it, you will see some

positive benefits..

And what does Un-acceptance come from? Believing thoughts that argue with the

reality of it

Ex: If you believe the thought that says that stuttering means something is

wrong with you...of course you aren't going to accept it

I would write down exactly how you feel about stuttering and what you think it

says about you...don't hold back or say what you think sounds good, write down

all the judgments, as petty and harsh as they sound..

In those judgments lies the key....which if you really question, are not based

in any reality or absolute truth...ones like: " I shouldn't stutter " (well you

are stuttering so, yes, you should stutter (thats reality)), " something is wrong

with me " (there is no " right " or " wrong " in reality, those are purely

conceptual)

Let go of those, and there will be nothing to even accept...it just IS

What is your email?

>> i have thought about it a little now, and it is true that i am trying

not to feel anxiety. but how do i respond in the situation? i am going back to

work tomorrow, and i am not looking forward to it.> > i always try to come

across as cool, and when i can't ,i beat myself up. being cool feels like my

life raft, stupid as it may sound. i feel a strong resistance when i think about

letting others see my anxiety. and it makes me angry, it feels like THEY are

doing it to me.> > how do i know if i am willing? i understand that i need lots

of training. willing to feel one's anxiety is not the same as being totally

subdued, is it? that's the primary source of resistance, i guess. > > when i

think about it, nothing has ever made me as angry as when someone tells me to

accept myself as i am.> > thanks for the concern, kaivey. and thanks to

(vcferrara? forgot your first name) for some really good stuff.> > haakon

>

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