Re: how long does it take?

[Guest guest]

Did your doc say how long it takes to start working? Just wondering if , like glucophage, it has to get into your system, or if it starts to work right away.

Meenie,

No, and I should have asked... one of those questions you think of later :-) I think it takes awhile, though. At least, I hope so, as I haven't noticed any change yet, but it's only been one day :-)

Sandy

[Guest guest]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I always think of things afterwards. LOL

Meenie

Re: How long does it take?

Did your doc say how long it takes to start working? Just wondering if , like glucophage, it has to get into your system, or if it starts to work right away.

Meenie,

No, and I should have asked... one of those questions you think of later :-) I think it takes awhile, though. At least, I hope so, as I haven't noticed any change yet, but it's only been one day :-)

Sandy

[Guest guest]

HelloThe first thing that comes to mind is the fact that you are expecting ACT to rid you of anxiety. Instead of looking at your life and seeing how much anxiety you still have, you should look at where you are in your valued life. The fact that you get so stressed when doing your values despite anxiety, also makes me think that you are struggling even when you think you are accepting. I think if you accept you may have anxiety but you won't get stressed (because I understand stress as the whole getting tangled up in what I call TUFIES (Thoughts Urges Feelings images Emotions and Sensations) ).All I can see is if first you don't succeed practice practice and again practice, willing to have whatever you feel at that present moment. If days

afterwards you feel bad, breath into it and take that as it is as well. Accept all. Maybe these days after are getting in your way too, but if you look at the big picture, are you on your valued path despite these consequences. I must say again though, that the fact you feel this way after, makes me feel that something is not going right. Maybe you could ask yourself the questions that go with willingness. Are you accepting or merely tolerating? Are you putting up with or having willingly? Are you accepting with curiosity and openness to feel whatever there is to feel? It is hard I know, I am struggling with willingness myself, but I am seeing some improvement. Could you try exercises like "acceptance of anxiety" on a daily basis? You can this way learn to have this experience in an environment where you feel safe, before you take it into the world.If you feel that accepting fully, and that you are not

trying at all to get rid of anxiety (from what I can see anxiety diminishing is a typical consequence of ACT, but if you have this in mind then it won't work) maybe you have a problem at another point of the hexaflex. Could it be your values? Maybe you could go over them again?Also accept these present moment of doubts and despair, label and see them without tangling up with them, and keep on going down that chosen path. As for the therapist saying you have had enough therapy, I don't really get that. Maybe you have enough theory, but its normal that you have questions and that you need to be guided when getting stuck. Maybe seek another therapist., Personally I am going solo, and do not have a therapist, just my selfhelp books and this group, but that is me and my story.Wishing you mindfulness and peace XXXP.S. As for the

question of how long it takes? I would not put any time limits. Personally I would only put time limits to make sure you commit and do things, not expecting a result For example: This week I commit to doing 5 ACT exercises. (And if you fail be kind and try again next week trying to ask yourself why) But I think these type of questions are one of the problems you have at the moment. ______________________Signature: Mrs Em Equanimity This is my personal blog where I record my experience applying Acceptance Commitment Therapy to my anxiety and agoraphobia in particular, and my life in general. Feel free to browse. http://eyeofthehurricane-act.blogspot.com/--- El vie, 21/1/11, Holmes escribió:De: Holmes Asunto: how long does it take?Para: ACT_for_the_Public CC: ACT_for_the_Public Fecha: viernes, 21 de enero, 2011 10:16

Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here.

I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused (and end up asking you guys for advice).

The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was trying to hard to do A.C.T

Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i need to find a balance?

Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my values as this still gets in the way. The "getting in the way" part is that even when I "feel the fear and do it anyway" I then get physically i'll from the stress and have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my previous jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it takes me to recover.

what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing. /so ill practice more and then be trying too hard.

Funnily enough the i bit I find the most straight forward to do is take action. But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart attack!lol.and then i'm ill again and back to square one!

Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something magical like take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds fun!

The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great, no more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody else feels like they are "not getting it"?

Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

[Guest guest]

Hi I think I've been somewhere similar to your journey with ACT, and am probably only one stop down the line from you. This is me - it may not apply to you. But at Christmas, I realised that I was waiting for an ACT epiphany: where I found that I had reached the promised land of acceptance. In this nirvana, doves would flutter, rainbows would glow; raindrops would sparkle, and Gemma Arterton would finally come to realise her undying love for me :0)ACT, in a contradiction of sorts, became the struggle I was fighting with. Why isn't it working? Why don't I feel better? Why can't I accept? When do I turn to somewhere else for help? Look at all ACT's flaws - maybe this isn't for me? In a way, maybe that therapist you saw was right: maybe you can try too hard, or at least expect too

much. ACT says that trouble comes when you attach too much importance to something (be it a thought; an emotion or whatever). You can attach too much importance to therapy too, I think. You can be too desperate for it to work. I can only speak for my experience. Since Christmas, I have dropped that struggle. Someone once said that if you wake up to find that you are walking through hell, then keep going! That's what I am doing. I'm not looking for signs of success, but will notice them from time to time. When I get into trouble, I remind myself that my brain and body always overreact to problems: this has been a wonderful tool for acceptance and defusion at the worst of times. No idea why it works for me, but it does.I think you have an inspiring level of grit and determination about you. Looking at the actions you have taken DESPITE your thoughts, and DESPITE knowing the

physical reactions you would suffer. Isn't that incredibly brave? And your determination continues to beat strongly, that's why you went to the therapist, that's why you are writing on this forum.If you can match your amazing determination with a little more patience and forgiveness when it's not working, I think you'll keep on the right path.I realise I haven't really answered your question. I am quite good at missing the point! Hey-ho. Best wishes xSubject: how long does it take?To: ACT_for_the_Public Cc: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Friday, 21 January,

2011, 10:16

Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here.

I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused (and end up asking you guys for advice).

The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was trying to hard to do A.C.T

Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i need to find a balance?

Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my values as this still gets in the way. The "getting in the way" part is that even when I "feel the fear and do it anyway" I then get physically i'll from the stress and have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my previous jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it takes me to recover.

what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing. /so ill practice more and then be trying too hard.

Funnily enough the i bit I find the most straight forward to do is take action. But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart attack!lol.and then i'm ill again and back to square one!

Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something magical like take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds fun!

The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great, no more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody else feels like they are "not getting it"?

Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

[Guest guest]

Hi - I can tell you from experience that there is no such thing as "brute force" ACT. I tried studying ACT intensely and all I was doing was adding to the struggle. I continue to be very close to the edge in this regard and have to remind myself to take a step back. What does work is working hard on living a valued life using very deliberate committed action. But there's even a trap there. has called it hyperphilantropic. And I do that as well. What works best for me is to keep my eye on the hexaflex and my ACT toolkit, making sure there is a balance in my efforts on all six ACT core processes.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public CC: ACT_for_the_Public From: aliciaholmes56@...Date: Fri, 21 Jan 2011 10:16:08 +0000Subject: how long does it take?

Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here.

I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused (and end up asking you guys for advice).

The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was trying to hard to do A.C.T

Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i need to find a balance?

Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my values as this still gets in the way. The "getting in the way" part is that even when I "feel the fear and do it anyway" I then get physically i'll from the stress and have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my previous jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it takes me to recover.

what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing. /so ill practice more and then be trying too hard.

Funnily enough the i bit I find the most straight forward to do is take action. But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart attack!lol.and then i'm ill again and back to square one!

Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something magical like take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds fun!

The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great, no more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody else feels like they are "not getting it"?

Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

[Guest guest]

"Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here."Hi ! Do you mean by the above quote that your therapy was conducted via email correspondence only?If you live in New York City and are interested in joining or forming an ACT Study Group, please contact me.

C.Subject: how long does it take?To: ACT_for_the_Public Cc: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Friday, January 21, 2011, 5:16 AM

Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here.

I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused (and end up asking you guys for advice).

The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was trying to hard to do A.C.T

Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i need to find a balance?

Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my values as this still gets in the way. The "getting in the way" part is that even when I "feel the fear and do it anyway" I then get physically i'll from the stress and have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my previous jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it takes me to recover.

what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing. /so ill practice more and then be trying too hard.

Funnily enough the i bit I find the most straight forward to do is take action. But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart attack!lol.and then i'm ill again and back to square one!

Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something magical like take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds fun!

The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great, no more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody else feels like they are "not getting it"?

Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

[Guest guest]

Unfortunately, as others said, if you are coming from the perspective of getting

rid of the anxiety you experience, it will be a futile endeavor

That isn't to say that the anxiety you experience won't decrease using ACT

principles, but the intention is the most important part here

The first part of ACT, means ACCEPTANCE...and " getting rid " of, in any way,

isn't acceptance

What you resist, WILL persist....

So the irony of you saying " you don't want to give up " , is actually what you

need to do mentally...give up fighting the anxiety, wanting it not to be there

>

> Hi everyone,

> I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up

> some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it

> went...

> Unfortunately I didn't find it  helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go

> from here.

>

> I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused

(and

> end up asking you guys for advice).

> The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was

trying

> to hard to do A.C.T

> Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in

> the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i

> wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i

> need to find a balance?

>

> Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in

> coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my

values

> as this still gets in the way. The " getting in the way " part is that even when

I

> " feel the fear and do it anyway " I then get physically i'll from the stress

and

> have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my

previous

> jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it

> takes me to recover.

>

>

> what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it

> because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the

> parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but

> again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing.  /so

ill

> practice more and then be trying too hard.

> Funnily enough the i bit  I find the most straight forward to do is take

action.

> But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart

attack!lol.and

> then i'm ill again and back to square one!

>

> Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something

magical like

> take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds

> fun!

>

> The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great,

no

> more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

>

> this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody

> else feels like they are " not getting it " ?

>

> Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

>

[Guest guest]

I understand where you are coming from. I felt very similar and still do.

Sometimes I think maybe it's just not for me and then I realized that's a

thought like any other thought and I defuse it. I've been using ACT for almost

a year. I just recently read The Happiness Trap about 2 months ago and that's

when everything seemed to click. Weekes used a very similar technique

for anxiety in the 70s (I think the 70s) and the one thing she says that I

haven't seen in ACT books is the reminder to " Let time Pass " . I like to add

that to my ACT because it's an important reminder that everything doesn't happen

overnight. You didn't get this way over night and you won't " get better " over

night either.

.

>

> Hi everyone,

> I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up

> some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it

> went...

> Unfortunately I didn't find it  helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go

> from here.

>

> I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused

(and

> end up asking you guys for advice).

> The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was

trying

> to hard to do A.C.T

> Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in

> the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i

> wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i

> need to find a balance?

>

> Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in

> coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my

values

> as this still gets in the way. The " getting in the way " part is that even when

I

> " feel the fear and do it anyway " I then get physically i'll from the stress

and

> have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my

previous

> jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it

> takes me to recover.

>

>

> what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it

> because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the

> parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but

> again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing.  /so

ill

> practice more and then be trying too hard.

> Funnily enough the i bit  I find the most straight forward to do is take

action.

> But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart

attack!lol.and

> then i'm ill again and back to square one!

>

> Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something

magical like

> take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds

> fun!

>

> The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great,

no

> more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

>

> this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody

> else feels like they are " not getting it " ?

>

> Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

>

[Guest guest]

Hi guys- thankyou for your replies-- that was a heart felt reply, i didn' t realise i have determination and grit, just hearing that helped so thankyou for sharing and don't worry about not answering my origional question it's nice to hear that others can relate. I remeber that dificult time you were having at christmas as we were talking about the snow here! i'm glad you are past that stage now. Your acceptance Utopia made me chuckle! I think if that were obtainable then The price of the Happyness Trap may go up afew bob in Waterstones!he he. - Thankyou for your invetation- i wish i lived in New York I would be straight there! I'm in the u.k- how is it going setting the group up though?Bill- Yes i think i am applying A.C.T with bruit force and that term

hyperphilantropic there is an interesting one, which book is the hexaflex in?That was good advice tho- to keep a balance between values. Generally tho i think too much and am fighting with A.C.T and then it gets complicated so i try to noice this and accept it. sometimes i can do this an sometimes it doesnt happen. When it comes to my feelings however, acceptance doesn't ever seem to occur. if im trying too hard then how can trying less to do these exercises help?commiting to change and doing the exercises in the book are surely made to help us change? how can change occur if i don't put much effort into these exercises.Also, if i accept the anxiety do i accept that i get physically ill and all the rest that comes with it?I have started living by my values for the past month and it's the most stressed and ill i have been- that would be all well and good if it didn't mean having to take time out to

recover- (this includes from work) this is the real crux of my problem- I love taking action to live by my values but when makes me ill what do I do? On the front of the Happyness Trap it says this book may help you overcome anxiety- so I wonder -what did mean by the term "overcoming?"- not a digg at at all but a genuine question as I think my interpretation of "overcoming" is different to perhaps how it was intended in conjunction with A.C.T and i think i have pinned too many false hopes on "overcomming" meaning something else.what I want now though is for the anxiety not to rule my life anymore and dictate what I do by making me ill when i dare go against it and live my life! And as others have said it sometimes takes allittle more time and patience and giving up the struggle- i wish i knew how to do that without trying too hard. But again, thankyou for the kind words. = )To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Fri, 21 January, 2011 14:40:27Subject: Re: how long does it take?

"Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here."Hi ! Do you mean by the above quote that your therapy was conducted via email correspondence only?If you live in New York City and are interested in joining or forming an ACT Study Group, please contact me.

C.Subject: how long does it take?To: ACT_for_the_Public Cc: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Friday, January 21, 2011, 5:16 AM

Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here.

I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused (and end up asking you guys for advice).

The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was trying to hard to do A.C.T

Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i need to find a balance?

Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my values as this still gets in the way. The "getting in the way" part is that even when I "feel the fear and do it anyway" I then get physically i'll from the stress and have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my previous jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it takes me to recover.

what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing. /so ill practice more and then be trying too hard.

Funnily enough the i bit I find the most straight forward to do is take action. But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart attack!lol.and then i'm ill again and back to square one!

Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something magical like take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds fun!

The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great, no more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody else feels like they are "not getting it"?

Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

[Guest guest]

Whoops! Sorry, that was a signature of mine which I should have marked it as such. I was aware that you live in the UK. But I also wish you lived in NYC so we could start a Study Group together. :-PSignatureIf you live in New York City and are interested in joining or forming an ACT Study Group, please contact me. C.Subject: how long does it take?To: ACT_for_the_Public Cc: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Friday, January 21, 2011, 5:16 AM

Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here.

I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused (and end up asking you guys for advice).

The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was trying to hard to do A.C.T

Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i need to find a balance?

Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my values as this still gets in the way. The "getting in the way" part is that even when I "feel the fear and do it anyway" I then get physically i'll from the stress and have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my previous jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it takes me to recover.

what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing. /so ill practice more and then be trying too hard.

Funnily enough the i bit I find the most straight forward to do is take action. But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart attack!lol.and then i'm ill again and back to square one!

Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something magical like take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds fun!

The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great, no more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody else feels like they are "not getting it"?

Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

[Guest guest]

The hexaflex is posted on the ACT for the Public listserv website. Look under forms for it. I'm attaching a copy as well. Be sure to watch it as a PowerPoint slide show to get the full effect.

Acceptance is not necessarily something you do, like defusion, or contact with the present moment. Rather, you go do something else when the feelings are bothering you. The best metaphor is the Pesky Aunt who shows up at your family party (life) unannounced and uninvited and she's staying. You have two choices - try to make her go away (struggle) or invite her in and make room for her at the party (accept her presence). You don't have to like her being there. You just don't allow her to ruin the party (life).

I'm stumped by acceptance making your physical symptoms worse. I would want to know what feelings you are trying to accept and how you think acceptance of the feelings will lead to a valued life. Perhaps you are practicing brute force valued living (hyperphilantrophic).

By "overcoming your anxiety" I think Russ means being able to live a valued life in spite of it. Some of my anxiety seems to just be a part of who I am. That's the part I need to accept. Sometimes I pile a lot of additional anxiety on top by struggling with my anxiety and with other things I can't do anything about. That's the part that acceptance helps with. Acceptance is the opposite of struggling for me.

All in all it sounds like you need to cut yourself some slack. Take ACT slowly and take valued living slowly.

Be kind to yourself.

Bill

To: ACT_for_the_Public From: carlos.carlos333@...Date: Fri, 21 Jan 2011 15:46:46 -0800Subject: Re: how long does it take?

Whoops! Sorry, that was a signature of mine which I should have marked it as such. I was aware that you live in the UK. But I also wish you lived in NYC so we could start a Study Group together. :-P

SignatureIf you live in New York City and are interested in joining or forming an ACT Study Group, please contact me. C.

Subject: how long does it take?To: ACT_for_the_Public Cc: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Friday, January 21, 2011, 5:16 AM

Hi everyone,

I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...

Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here.

I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused (and end up asking you guys for advice).

The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was trying to hard to do A.C.T

Trouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i need to find a balance?

Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my values as this still gets in the way. The "getting in the way" part is that even when I "feel the fear and do it anyway" I then get physically i'll from the stress and have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my previous jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it takes me to recover.

what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing. /so ill practice more and then be trying too hard.

Funnily enough the i bit I find the most straight forward to do is take action. But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart attack!lol.and then i'm ill again and back to square one!

Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something magical like take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds fun!

The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great, no more pricey bills) but where does that leave me?

this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody else feels like they are "not getting it"?

Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )

1 of 1 File(s)

Hexaflex.ppt

[Guest guest]

Hi Alice,

Here's an approach you may or may not find helpful: might it be

possible to see if you find among your values something like " openness

to my experience exactly as it is in the here-and-now " ? If not, could

you see trying it out as a value? Perhaps seeing an expansive, mindful

presence as something you are willing to embrace regardless of the

uncomfortable thoughts and feelings it kicks up might make it easier

to make room for it without struggle.

Jim

>

[Guest guest]

I like this ...

The hurt is there to tell you something. That, perhaps, something is important. Otherwise, you’d be numb to it, or minimally indifferent.

If you notice that — like the background chatter before a show — you may see that the pain and difficulty is part of the valued experience. In fact, I’d venture that most things that really matter in life entail joy and pain. The key word here is AND.

So, if that’s how it works (generally), then the difficulty is not something to turn away from. Heck, if you did that, you’d also be turning away from what matters. Rather, the difficulty is part of the vitality of going forward in ways that you really care about ... And yes, I know it’s not easy. Yet, it may be the only way forward. In my life, I’ve had only a few flashes of value-guided vitality that came without some cost, challenge, or difficulty (inside and outside). And I mean that.

All said with a big grain of salt (oh, and some popcorn tonight — at least for me)

Peace –john

P. Forsyth, Ph.D.

Hi Alice,

Here's an approach you may or may not find helpful: might it be

possible to see if you find among your values something like " openness

to my experience exactly as it is in the here-and-now " ? If not, could

you see trying it out as a value? Perhaps seeing an expansive, mindful

presence as something you are willing to embrace regardless of the

uncomfortable thoughts and feelings it kicks up might make it easier

to make room for it without struggle.

Jim

>

P. Forsyth, Ph.D.

Associate Professor of Psychology

Director of Clinical Training

Director, Anxiety Disorders Research Program

University at Albany, SUNY

Department of Psychology

Social Sciences 399

1400 Washington Avenue

Albany, NY 12222

Ph:

Fax:

email: forsyth@...

Lab Web Page:

Anxiety Disorders Research Program <http://www.albany.edu/~forsyth>

Blogs:

Mindfulness & Acceptance for Anxiety <http://mindfulness-and-anxiety.blogspot.com/>

Peace of Mind

<http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/peace-mind/200910/cultivating-peace-mind-

at Psychology Today <http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog>

Dr. Forsyth <http://www.amazon.com/-P.-Forsyth/e/B001JS0IEK/ref=sr_tc_2_0>

on Amazon.com

Our Clinical Trials Evaluating ACT for Anxiety:

Visit ACTforAnxiety.com <http://www.ACTforAnxiety.com>

[Guest guest]

Hi , By ‘overcoming anxiety’ I mean prevailing in the face of it, or surmounting it. I do not mean getting rid of it. Perhaps a better phrase might be ‘overcoming the tyranny of anxiety’? This would fit with your wish: ‘for the anxiety not to rule my life anymore and dictate what I do’Keep at it. It’s a long, hard journey, but worthwhile. All the best,Cheers, Russ www.actmindfully.com.auwww.thehappinesstrap.com From: ACT_for_the_Public [mailto:ACT_for_the_Public ] On Behalf Of HolmesSent: Saturday, 22 January 2011 10:06 AMTo: ACT_for_the_Public Cc: ACT_for_the_Public Subject: Re: how long does it take? Hi guys- thankyou for your replies-- that was a heart felt reply, i didn' t realise i have determination and grit, just hearing that helped so thankyou for sharing and don't worry about not answering my origional question it's nice to hear that others can relate. I remeber that dificult time you were having at christmas as we were talking about the snow here! i'm glad you are past that stage now. Your acceptance Utopia made me chuckle! I think if that were obtainable then The price of the Happyness Trap may go up afew bob in Waterstones!he he. - Thankyou for your invetation- i wish i lived in New York I would be straight there! I'm in the u.k- how is it going setting the group up though?Bill- Yes i think i am applying A.C.T with bruit force and that term hyperphilantropic there is an interesting one, which book is the hexaflex in?That was good advice tho- to keep a balance between values. Generally tho i think too much and am fighting with A.C.T and then it gets complicated so i try to noice this and accept it. sometimes i can do this an sometimes it doesnt happen. When it comes to my feelings however, acceptance doesn't ever seem to occur. if im trying too hard then how can trying less to do these exercises help?commiting to change and doing the exercises in the book are surely made to help us change? how can change occur if i don't put much effort into these exercises.Also, if i accept the anxiety do i accept that i get physically ill and all the rest that comes with it?I have started living by my values for the past month and it's the most stressed and ill i have been- that would be all well and good if it didn't mean having to take time out to recover- (this includes from work) this is the real crux of my problem- I love taking action to live by my values but when makes me ill what do I do? On the front of the Happyness Trap it says this book may help you overcome anxiety- so I wonder -what did mean by the term " overcoming? " - not a digg at at all but a genuine question as I think my interpretation of " overcoming " is different to perhaps how it was intended in conjunction with A.C.T and i think i have pinned too many false hopes on " overcomming " meaning something else.what I want now though is for the anxiety not to rule my life anymore and dictate what I do by making me ill when i dare go against it and live my life! And as others have said it sometimes takes allittle more time and patience and giving up the struggle- i wish i knew how to do that without trying too hard. But again, thankyou for the kind words. = ) To: ACT_for_the_Public Sent: Fri, 21 January, 2011 14:40:27Subject: Re: how long does it take? " Hi everyone,I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here. " Hi ! Do you mean by the above quote that your therapy was conducted via email correspondence only?If you live in New York City and are interested in joining or forming an ACT Study Group, please contact me. C.Subject: how long does it take?To: ACT_for_the_Public Cc: ACT_for_the_Public Date: Friday, January 21, 2011, 5:16 AM Hi everyone,I recently went to an A.C.T therapist for an initial copnsultation to set up some A.C.t work over email and I said i would let some of you guys know how it went...Unfortunately I didn't find it helpful and i'm left not knowing where to go from here. I went seeking advice on how to apply A.C.T as i sometimes get it confused (and end up asking you guys for advice).The reason i feel the session wasn't sucessful was that I was told I was trying to hard to do A.C.TTrouble is, I feel i have been motivated and have done all of the exercises in the Happyness Trap to the best of my abilty. If i didn't put the effort in i wouldn't do the exercises and therefore be none the wiser anyway. So maybe i need to find a balance? Also, after practicing for nearly a year i'm still i'm not seeing a change in coping with my anxiety- ie im not living a full and meaningful life by my values as this still gets in the way. The " getting in the way " part is that even when I " feel the fear and do it anyway " I then get physically i'll from the stress and have to take a good few days off to recover-which has often affected my previous jobs and social life. so then i stop living by my main values for the time it takes me to recover. what does A.C.T have to say about this? I really don't want to give up on it because having just finished the Happyness Trap I really connect with all the parts about values and actions. I also really like the idea of connection but again i just end up thinking about what im doing rather than observing. /so ill practice more and then be trying too hard.Funnily enough the i bit I find the most straight forward to do is take action. But even when i do this i am still giving myself an anxiety heart attack!lol.and then i'm ill again and back to square one! Maybee- i am miss enterpreting A.C.T and wanting it to do something magical like take the anxiety away? I think I am struggleing with A.C.T itself- arent minds fun! The A.C.T therapist i saw suggested that maybee im done with therapy (great, no more pricey bills) but where does that leave me? this is NOT a rant at A.C.T just sharing my confusion and wondering if anybody else feels like they are " not getting it " ? Please feel free to share any views/ experiences you may have = )