Re: Tyra's Update/Kids Tibo Tiger

September 26, 2005

Sorry to jump in here. Would either of you have any ideas on kids

that suffer anxiety and what to do with them in a school setting?

We just took my 11 year old off of Prozac - he's been on it since

second grade and last year got into ALOT of trouble. He went

through group therapy this summer and they are thinking he might

have ADHD - but he doesn't show the symptoms at home. I have a

meeting at school this week - since third grade he's had a 'point

sheet' to keep him on track but that stopped working last year, then

they were using the resource room as a punishment and that didn't

work, now this year, his teacher has a checkbook system and my son

is already out of checks and is out of the auction which is at the

nine week mark. They want to come up with something that will make

him accountable. From what I can tell, he's biggest problem is the

lunchroom when he sits with certain boys - but when he's not sitting

by them then he's okay. He has a loud voice and laugh - but gets

that from me. I am at my wits end on what to do. I asked them what

they do for other kids in this situation and hopefully they will

have an answer Wednesday. They are so cookie cutter people and

unfortunately, have labeled my son - he does something and is

always, always called on it while the other kids can get by with way

worse things. BUT he still needs to be held accountable for HIS

actions. I really don't know what they want - they can't change who

he is - it's like they want him to be in a bubble and no problem.

HELLO . . . I wonder sometimes if putting him on an IEP was the

worst thing we could have done. He is a great kid and we get so

many compliments on how nice he is, what a polite young man, etc.

but he has a very low self-esteem and tries so hard to be liked by

everyone - especially a group of boys that is not a good combination

for him.

UGGHHHHH.

Delana, I am so sorry you are going through such a stressful time.

I think I'm ready to have a breakdown but after reading your post,

realize it could be so much worse. You are the main person in your

business where so many rely on you, a daughter who has had to deal

with a lot on that aspect lately, and mostly a mom who is trying to

do it all the best you can. And that is the most important thing -

you do the best that you can at that time. Hugs to you!!!! I think

you are doing wonderful and are such an inspiration who has offered

so much to the group even though you are so busy. Taebo will help

you get through this (it helped me get through a lot of difficult

times) - but don't feel guilty in when you aren't doing it but feel

good about when you are able to fit it in.

le

> Thanks for sharing. I have had a really rough week. I love your

words that there is stil beauty in the struggle. I think i will

need to post that somewhere...sometimes when life is ganging up on

you it is easy to forget that doing something is better than doing

nothing.

>

> I wish I could home school my kids, they have special needs and

traditional school setting is a challenge for them. last week was

filled with hours of fighting with the schools to follow the

educational plans that were set forth for them at the end of last

year. They are both struggling and I have been having to devote a

lot of time to them and the school. Unfortunately, I am the sole

financial support and cannot afford to stay home to school them. I

have my own business and things have been rough there with staff

turnovers and training, and I found less time to work in sleep last

week. I was physically exhausted, but I think it was more the

emotional exhaustion that got in the way of exercising...I did

manage to do something every other day, and the day I went to karate

they decided to have and hour and a half session instead of an hour,

and it felt great, but I wish I had thought about at least sticking

the 15 minute workout in on those bad days. My knees feel better

having had a

> few days off, so I guess I will focus on that and some renewed

energy after the decreased schedule.

>

> I have also experienced in the past the problem with avoiding

working out because the workout in the rotation was too hard or one

I dislike. Instead of avoiding working out, I now don't put those

in my regular rotation. I do throw them in once in a while when I am

not rushed and am feeling mentally positive, just to see how I can

do now. And, I always see progress, although most of the boot camp

workouts are still beyond my level of muscle strength. I rotate in

the workouts I love more often. Although I think it is good to

challenge and push ourselves once in a while, if the goal is to get

regular exercise, we are more likely to be successful if we are

doing something we look forward to.

>

> So, I won't reach 100 workouts by the end of the challenge, but I

will keep couting until I do reach 100. I need to think of some

reward for getting there, and a new way to motivate myself once I

hit that target. Thanks for all the posts this week that I didn't

get to respond to. Delana.

>

September 26, 2005

Don't worry about jumping in, it always helps to talk about the

things that bother you.

My son sees a psychologist. The school, psychologist and I have an

agreement-none of us, individually, should have to bear the brunt of

his lashing out.

We keep in close communication and basically tag-team him when

problems occour. I know it sounds harsh but he already had an

episode in school this year and we used the method and it was

straightened out immeadiately.

He's a good kid , polite, loving, sweet but he hates social

situations and freezes up when called upon in them and sometimes he

will get pretty bad.

The school also decided that unless under extreme circumstances, he

will not be punished there.

He's not as old as your son but maybe you can draw ideas from this.

I also made it perfectly clear that I refuse to medicate him to his

doctor so i've never been down that road. A lot of the behavior

sounds familiar though like acting out to get attention, longing for

acceptance to peer group etc.

Good luck. Keep in touch. -Kat

> > Thanks for sharing. I have had a really rough week. I love your

> words that there is stil beauty in the struggle. I think i will

> need to post that somewhere...sometimes when life is ganging up on

> you it is easy to forget that doing something is better than doing

> nothing.

> >

> > I wish I could home school my kids, they have special needs and

> traditional school setting is a challenge for them. last week was

> filled with hours of fighting with the schools to follow the

> educational plans that were set forth for them at the end of last

> year. They are both struggling and I have been having to devote a

> lot of time to them and the school. Unfortunately, I am the sole

> financial support and cannot afford to stay home to school them. I

> have my own business and things have been rough there with staff

> turnovers and training, and I found less time to work in sleep last

> week. I was physically exhausted, but I think it was more the

> emotional exhaustion that got in the way of exercising...I did

> manage to do something every other day, and the day I went to

karate

> they decided to have and hour and a half session instead of an

hour,

> and it felt great, but I wish I had thought about at least sticking

> the 15 minute workout in on those bad days. My knees feel better

> having had a

> > few days off, so I guess I will focus on that and some renewed

> energy after the decreased schedule.

> >

> > I have also experienced in the past the problem with avoiding

> working out because the workout in the rotation was too hard or one

> I dislike. Instead of avoiding working out, I now don't put those

> in my regular rotation. I do throw them in once in a while when I

am

> not rushed and am feeling mentally positive, just to see how I can

> do now. And, I always see progress, although most of the boot camp

> workouts are still beyond my level of muscle strength. I rotate in

> the workouts I love more often. Although I think it is good to

> challenge and push ourselves once in a while, if the goal is to get

> regular exercise, we are more likely to be successful if we are

> doing something we look forward to.

> >

> > So, I won't reach 100 workouts by the end of the challenge, but I

> will keep couting until I do reach 100. I need to think of some

> reward for getting there, and a new way to motivate myself once I

> hit that target. Thanks for all the posts this week that I didn't

> get to respond to. Delana.

> >

September 27, 2005

I have 2 kids with ADD and 1 has anxiety and is on Prozac. I have

had a lot of good success with the " Nurtured Heart " approach. I

heard the author Glasser speak last spring. My son has made

a dramatic change and my daughter has had noticable changes too.

The author has had so much success using it in the Tuscon school

district and the Head Start programs and also some juvenille

offender programs.

Pat

> > Thanks for sharing. I have had a really rough week. I love

your

> words that there is stil beauty in the struggle. I think i will

> need to post that somewhere...sometimes when life is ganging up on

> you it is easy to forget that doing something is better than doing

> nothing.

> >

> > I wish I could home school my kids, they have special needs and

> traditional school setting is a challenge for them. last week was

> filled with hours of fighting with the schools to follow the

> educational plans that were set forth for them at the end of last

> year. They are both struggling and I have been having to devote a

> lot of time to them and the school. Unfortunately, I am the sole

> financial support and cannot afford to stay home to school them.

I

> have my own business and things have been rough there with staff

> turnovers and training, and I found less time to work in sleep

last

> week. I was physically exhausted, but I think it was more the

> emotional exhaustion that got in the way of exercising...I did

> manage to do something every other day, and the day I went to

karate

> they decided to have and hour and a half session instead of an

hour,

> and it felt great, but I wish I had thought about at least

sticking

> the 15 minute workout in on those bad days. My knees feel better

> having had a

> > few days off, so I guess I will focus on that and some renewed

> energy after the decreased schedule.

> >

> > I have also experienced in the past the problem with avoiding

> working out because the workout in the rotation was too hard or

one

> I dislike. Instead of avoiding working out, I now don't put those

> in my regular rotation. I do throw them in once in a while when I

am

> not rushed and am feeling mentally positive, just to see how I can

> do now. And, I always see progress, although most of the boot

camp

> workouts are still beyond my level of muscle strength. I rotate

in

> the workouts I love more often. Although I think it is good to

> challenge and push ourselves once in a while, if the goal is to

get

> regular exercise, we are more likely to be successful if we are

> doing something we look forward to.

> >

> > So, I won't reach 100 workouts by the end of the challenge, but

I

> will keep couting until I do reach 100. I need to think of some

> reward for getting there, and a new way to motivate myself once I

> hit that target. Thanks for all the posts this week that I didn't

> get to respond to. Delana.

> >

September 27, 2005

I have 2 kids with ADD and 1 has anxiety and is on Prozac. I have

had a lot of good success with the " Nurtured Heart " approach. I

heard the author Glasser speak last spring. My son has made

a dramatic change and my daughter has had noticable changes too.

The author has had so much success using it in the Tuscon school

district and the Head Start programs and also some juvenille

offender programs.

Pat

> > Thanks for sharing. I have had a really rough week. I love

your

> words that there is stil beauty in the struggle. I think i will

> need to post that somewhere...sometimes when life is ganging up on

> you it is easy to forget that doing something is better than doing

> nothing.

> >

> > I wish I could home school my kids, they have special needs and

> traditional school setting is a challenge for them. last week was

> filled with hours of fighting with the schools to follow the

> educational plans that were set forth for them at the end of last

> year. They are both struggling and I have been having to devote a

> lot of time to them and the school. Unfortunately, I am the sole

> financial support and cannot afford to stay home to school them.

I

> have my own business and things have been rough there with staff

> turnovers and training, and I found less time to work in sleep

last

> week. I was physically exhausted, but I think it was more the

> emotional exhaustion that got in the way of exercising...I did

> manage to do something every other day, and the day I went to

karate

> they decided to have and hour and a half session instead of an

hour,

> and it felt great, but I wish I had thought about at least

sticking

> the 15 minute workout in on those bad days. My knees feel better

> having had a

> > few days off, so I guess I will focus on that and some renewed

> energy after the decreased schedule.

> >

> > I have also experienced in the past the problem with avoiding

> working out because the workout in the rotation was too hard or

one

> I dislike. Instead of avoiding working out, I now don't put those

> in my regular rotation. I do throw them in once in a while when I

am

> not rushed and am feeling mentally positive, just to see how I can

> do now. And, I always see progress, although most of the boot

camp

> workouts are still beyond my level of muscle strength. I rotate

in

> the workouts I love more often. Although I think it is good to

> challenge and push ourselves once in a while, if the goal is to

get

> regular exercise, we are more likely to be successful if we are

> doing something we look forward to.

> >

> > So, I won't reach 100 workouts by the end of the challenge, but

I

> will keep couting until I do reach 100. I need to think of some

> reward for getting there, and a new way to motivate myself once I

> hit that target. Thanks for all the posts this week that I didn't

> get to respond to. Delana.

> >

September 27, 2005

I have 2 kids with ADD and 1 has anxiety and is on Prozac. I have

had a lot of good success with the " Nurtured Heart " approach. I

heard the author Glasser speak last spring. My son has made

a dramatic change and my daughter has had noticable changes too.

The author has had so much success using it in the Tuscon school

district and the Head Start programs and also some juvenille

offender programs.

Pat

> > Thanks for sharing. I have had a really rough week. I love

your

> words that there is stil beauty in the struggle. I think i will

> need to post that somewhere...sometimes when life is ganging up on

> you it is easy to forget that doing something is better than doing

> nothing.

> >

> > I wish I could home school my kids, they have special needs and

> traditional school setting is a challenge for them. last week was

> filled with hours of fighting with the schools to follow the

> educational plans that were set forth for them at the end of last

> year. They are both struggling and I have been having to devote a

> lot of time to them and the school. Unfortunately, I am the sole

> financial support and cannot afford to stay home to school them.

I

> have my own business and things have been rough there with staff

> turnovers and training, and I found less time to work in sleep

last

> week. I was physically exhausted, but I think it was more the

> emotional exhaustion that got in the way of exercising...I did

> manage to do something every other day, and the day I went to

karate

> they decided to have and hour and a half session instead of an

hour,

> and it felt great, but I wish I had thought about at least

sticking

> the 15 minute workout in on those bad days. My knees feel better

> having had a

> > few days off, so I guess I will focus on that and some renewed

> energy after the decreased schedule.

> >

> > I have also experienced in the past the problem with avoiding

> working out because the workout in the rotation was too hard or

one

> I dislike. Instead of avoiding working out, I now don't put those

> in my regular rotation. I do throw them in once in a while when I

am

> not rushed and am feeling mentally positive, just to see how I can

> do now. And, I always see progress, although most of the boot

camp

> workouts are still beyond my level of muscle strength. I rotate

in

> the workouts I love more often. Although I think it is good to

> challenge and push ourselves once in a while, if the goal is to

get

> regular exercise, we are more likely to be successful if we are

> doing something we look forward to.

> >

> > So, I won't reach 100 workouts by the end of the challenge, but

I

> will keep couting until I do reach 100. I need to think of some

> reward for getting there, and a new way to motivate myself once I

> hit that target. Thanks for all the posts this week that I didn't

> get to respond to. Delana.

> >

September 27, 2005

I have 2 kids with ADD and 1 has anxiety and is on Prozac. I have

had a lot of good success with the " Nurtured Heart " approach. I

heard the author Glasser speak last spring. My son has made

a dramatic change and my daughter has had noticable changes too.

The author has had so much success using it in the Tuscon school

district and the Head Start programs and also some juvenille

offender programs.

Pat

> > Thanks for sharing. I have had a really rough week. I love

your

> words that there is stil beauty in the struggle. I think i will

> need to post that somewhere...sometimes when life is ganging up on

> you it is easy to forget that doing something is better than doing

> nothing.

> >

> > I wish I could home school my kids, they have special needs and

> traditional school setting is a challenge for them. last week was

> filled with hours of fighting with the schools to follow the

> educational plans that were set forth for them at the end of last

> year. They are both struggling and I have been having to devote a

> lot of time to them and the school. Unfortunately, I am the sole

> financial support and cannot afford to stay home to school them.

I

> have my own business and things have been rough there with staff

> turnovers and training, and I found less time to work in sleep

last

> week. I was physically exhausted, but I think it was more the

> emotional exhaustion that got in the way of exercising...I did

> manage to do something every other day, and the day I went to

karate

> they decided to have and hour and a half session instead of an

hour,

> and it felt great, but I wish I had thought about at least

sticking

> the 15 minute workout in on those bad days. My knees feel better

> having had a

> > few days off, so I guess I will focus on that and some renewed

> energy after the decreased schedule.

> >

> > I have also experienced in the past the problem with avoiding

> working out because the workout in the rotation was too hard or

one

> I dislike. Instead of avoiding working out, I now don't put those

> in my regular rotation. I do throw them in once in a while when I

am

> not rushed and am feeling mentally positive, just to see how I can

> do now. And, I always see progress, although most of the boot

camp

> workouts are still beyond my level of muscle strength. I rotate

in

> the workouts I love more often. Although I think it is good to

> challenge and push ourselves once in a while, if the goal is to

get

> regular exercise, we are more likely to be successful if we are

> doing something we look forward to.

> >

> > So, I won't reach 100 workouts by the end of the challenge, but

I

> will keep couting until I do reach 100. I need to think of some

> reward for getting there, and a new way to motivate myself once I

> hit that target. Thanks for all the posts this week that I didn't

> get to respond to. Delana.

> >

September 27, 2005

Hi

I Have not heard of the nutured heart approach but it will be interesting reading. If you have good success with this approach , use it!smpv wrote:

I have 2 kids with ADD and 1 has anxiety and is on Prozac. I have had a lot of good success with the "Nurtured Heart" approach. I heard the author Glasser speak last spring. My son has made a dramatic change and my daughter has had noticable changes too.The author has had so much success using it in the Tuscon school district and the Head Start programs and also some juvenille offender programs.Pat> > Thanks for sharing. I have had a really rough week. I love your > words that there is stil beauty in the struggle. I think i will > need to post that somewhere...sometimes when life is ganging up on > you it is easy to forget that doing something is better than doing > nothing. > > > > I wish I could home

school my kids, they have special needs and > traditional school setting is a challenge for them. last week was > filled with hours of fighting with the schools to follow the > educational plans that were set forth for them at the end of last > year. They are both struggling and I have been having to devote a > lot of time to them and the school. Unfortunately, I am the sole > financial support and cannot afford to stay home to school them. I > have my own business and things have been rough there with staff > turnovers and training, and I found less time to work in sleep last > week. I was physically exhausted, but I think it was more the > emotional exhaustion that got in the way of exercising...I did > manage to do something every other day, and the day I went to karate > they decided to have and hour and a half session instead of an hour, > and it felt great,

but I wish I had thought about at least sticking > the 15 minute workout in on those bad days. My knees feel better > having had a> > few days off, so I guess I will focus on that and some renewed > energy after the decreased schedule. > > > > I have also experienced in the past the problem with avoiding > working out because the workout in the rotation was too hard or one > I dislike. Instead of avoiding working out, I now don't put those > in my regular rotation. I do throw them in once in a while when I am > not rushed and am feeling mentally positive, just to see how I can > do now. And, I always see progress, although most of the boot camp > workouts are still beyond my level of muscle strength. I rotate in > the workouts I love more often. Although I think it is good to > challenge and push ourselves once in a while,

if the goal is to get > regular exercise, we are more likely to be successful if we are > doing something we look forward to. > > > > So, I won't reach 100 workouts by the end of the challenge, but I > will keep couting until I do reach 100. I need to think of some > reward for getting there, and a new way to motivate myself once I > hit that target. Thanks for all the posts this week that I didn't > get to respond to. Delana. > > > >

THE TI BO TIGER

Yahoo! for Good Click here to donate to the Hurricane Katrina relief effort.

September 27, 2005

Hi and le

I hate labeling kids. Everybody is unique and has special talents. In my years at teaching the greatest success was when there was consistency between the home and school in the ways to controll behaivor. If child misbehaves or acts out, there could be a time out, standing in a corner, skipping recess, etc. This can be done at home as well. A parent and teacher should let their yes be yes and no mean no. If one says they are going to do something, the do it!!

Any child needs this consistency in their life.

Also one child at school came to school extremely anxious and nervous so we gave the child 1 cup of coffe as soon as he came off the school bus. This calmed him down. Sometimes caffiene has the opposite affect in young children as it does in adults. I would consult a Dr first. Another thing the school did with success is when a child got upset and disturbing others, we would roll them up in a blanket for a short while. And gently rock him/her.

If you teeach a child accountability for his actions, get together with him first AND MAKE A CONTRACT WITH HIM. In the contract should be the result be when he/she misbehaves . ie Stay in room or time out for 1/2 hour if screams at an adult. The child and parent/teacher needs to sign it.

I hope this helps.

:Ti Bo Tigerle wrote:

Sorry to jump in here. Would either of you have any ideas on kids that suffer anxiety and what to do with them in a school setting? We just took my 11 year old off of Prozac - he's been on it since second grade and last year got into ALOT of trouble. He went through group therapy this summer and they are thinking he might have ADHD - but he doesn't show the symptoms at home. I have a meeting at school this week - since third grade he's had a 'point sheet' to keep him on track but that stopped working last year, then they were using the resource room as a punishment and that didn't work, now this year, his teacher has a checkbook system and my son is already out of checks and is out of the auction which is at the nine week mark. They want to come up with something that will make him accountable.

From what I can tell, he's biggest problem is the lunchroom when he sits with certain boys - but when he's not sitting by them then he's okay. He has a loud voice and laugh - but gets that from me. I am at my wits end on what to do. I asked them what they do for other kids in this situation and hopefully they will have an answer Wednesday. They are so cookie cutter people and unfortunately, have labeled my son - he does something and is always, always called on it while the other kids can get by with way worse things. BUT he still needs to be held accountable for HIS actions. I really don't know what they want - they can't change who he is - it's like they want him to be in a bubble and no problem. HELLO . . . I wonder sometimes if putting him on an IEP was the worst thing we could have done. He is a great kid and we get so many compliments on how nice he is, what a polite young man,

etc. but he has a very low self-esteem and tries so hard to be liked by everyone - especially a group of boys that is not a good combination for him. UGGHHHHH. Delana, I am so sorry you are going through such a stressful time. I think I'm ready to have a breakdown but after reading your post, realize it could be so much worse. You are the main person in your business where so many rely on you, a daughter who has had to deal with a lot on that aspect lately, and mostly a mom who is trying to do it all the best you can. And that is the most important thing - you do the best that you can at that time. Hugs to you!!!! I think you are doing wonderful and are such an inspiration who has offered so much to the group even though you are so busy. Taebo will help you get through this (it helped me get through a lot of difficult times) - but don't feel guilty in when you aren't

doing it but feel good about when you are able to fit it in. le> Thanks for sharing. I have had a really rough week. I love your words that there is stil beauty in the struggle. I think i will need to post that somewhere...sometimes when life is ganging up on you it is easy to forget that doing something is better than doing nothing. >

> I wish I could home school my kids, they have special needs and traditional school setting is a challenge for them. last week was filled with hours of fighting with the schools to follow the educational plans that were set forth for them at the end of last year. They are both struggling and I have been having to devote a lot of time to them and the school. Unfortunately, I am the sole financial support and cannot afford to stay home to school them. I have my own business and things have been rough there with staff turnovers and training, and I found less time to work in sleep last week. I was physically exhausted, but I think it was more the emotional exhaustion that got in the way of exercising...I did manage to do something every other day, and the day I went to karate they decided to have and hour and a half session instead of an hour, and it felt great, but I wish I had thought about at least sticking

the 15 minute workout in on those bad days. My knees feel better having had a> few days off, so I guess I will focus on that and some renewed energy after the decreased schedule. > > I have also experienced in the past the problem with avoiding working out because the workout in the rotation was too hard or one I dislike. Instead of avoiding working out, I now don't put those in my regular rotation. I do throw them in once in a while when I am not rushed and am feeling mentally positive, just to see how I can do now. And, I always see progress, although most of the boot camp workouts are still beyond my level of muscle strength. I rotate in the workouts I love more often. Although I think it is good to challenge and push ourselves once in a while, if the goal is to get regular exercise, we are more likely to be successful if we are doing something we look forward to.

> > So, I won't reach 100 workouts by the end of the challenge, but I will keep couting until I do reach 100. I need to think of some reward for getting there, and a new way to motivate myself once I hit that target. Thanks for all the posts this week that I didn't get to respond to. Delana. > >

THE TI BO TIGER__________________________________________________

September 27, 2005