In the Beginning..........

[Guest guest]

Thought I'd send this and see if anyone here is awake...........LOL

Z.

Subject: IN THE BEGINNING

> >

> > > > In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the earth and

> populated the

> > Earth with broccoli, cauliflower and spinach, green and yellow and

> red > vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and

> healthy lives.

> > > Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice

> Cream and

> > Krispy Creme Donuts. And Satan said, " You want chocolate with

> that? " > > And Man said, " Yes! " and Woman said, " and as long as

> you're at it, add some

> > sprinkles. " And they gained 10 pounds. And Satan smiled. > > And

> God created the healthful yogurt that Woman might keep the figure that

> > Man found so fair. And Satan brought forth white flour from the wheat, and

> > sugar from the cane and combined them. And Woman went from size 12 to size

> > 18. > > So God said, " Try my fresh green salad. " And Satan

> presented Thousand-Island > Dressing, buttery croutons and garlic

> toast on the side. > > And Man and Woman unfastened their belts

> following the repast. > > God then said, " I have sent you heart

> healthy vegetables and olive oil in

> > which to cook them. " And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and >

> chicken-fried steak so big it needed its own platter. And Man gained

> more

> > weight and his cholesterol went through the roof. > > God then

> created a light, fluffy white cake, named it " Angel Food Cake, " and

> > said, " It is good. " Satan then created chocolate cake and named it " Devil's

> > Food. " > > God then brought forth running shoes so that His

> children might lose those

> > extra pounds. And Satan gave cable TV with a remote control so Man

> would not

> > have to toil changing the channels. And Man and Woman laughed and

> cried > before the flickering blue light and gained pounds. > >

> Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and brimming

> with

> > nutrition. And Satan peeled off the healthful skin and sliced the starchy

> > center into chips and deep-fried them. And Man gained pounds. > >

> God then gave lean beef so that Man might consume fewer calories and

> still

> > satisfy his appetite. And Satan created Mac's and its 99-cent double

> > cheeseburger. Then said, " You want fries with that? " And Man replied, " Yes!

> > And super size them! " And Satan said, " It is good. " > > And Man

> went into cardiac arrest > > God sighed and created quadruple

> bypass surgery. Then Satan created HMOs. > > Thought for the day .

> . . There is more money being spent on breast implants

> > and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040,

> there > should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and

> huge erections

> and > absolutely no recollection of what to do with them. > > If

> you don't send this to five old friends right away there will be

> five > fewer people laughing in the world.

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