Re: Re: Need to unload

[Guest guest]

Oh, Courage, how awful. I would be mad as a wet hen too. Is your sister crazy?

And if your brother thinks it's so great why isn't he there. Your sister

couldn't have not seen two of you were trying to help your Mom in some way. Is

she blind too?

So sorry your Mom has to go through this and I am sure she knows if you could

have your say this wouldn't be happening.

Hugs,

Donna R

Caregave for Mom (after I brought her from WI to MI) for 3 years and 4th year in

a nh.

She was almost 89 when she died in '02. No dx other than mine.

Re: Need to unload

Dear Courage,

Know you have our caring and support. Not that it will help your mother much,

but we are

here for you to vent whenever you need.

, Oakville Ont.

Mother, age 92, died Aug. 12/06 after 13 year decline from PDD

>

> Hi All,

>

> Its funny that in the last week we have had posts about siblings and friends

because this

was the theme of my day. I met up with a friend of mine that I haven't seen

since my mom

got sick and I started taking care of her. It was nice to catch up and she was

kind enough

to let me unload some of my sadness over my current family situation, my dad's

death and

my mom's further decline since being on dilaudid.

> Since the change in meds, I like to see mom first thing in the morning before

she's had

her first dose of the meds. I guess because I spent most of the afternoon

talking about

mom I decided to drop by and give her a quick kiss before she went to bed. I

found mom

with her caregiver just finishing dinner and poor mom was sweating up a storm.

I

remember thinking that it was too bad my sister wasn't there to see this because

according to her mom would stop sweating on this new pain med....ya, right! We

got mom

back to her room and mom started making this weird " mmmmmmm... " noise. I think

mom was trying to cough or something but wouldn't open her mouth. Both her

caregiver

and I rushed to her and did just about everything to get mom to open her mouth

but she

wouldn't and she kept making this funny noise, her face was turning deep red,

she was

sweating like crazy and her eyes were wide open and filled with panic. My heart

was

racing because I thought that perhaps she was going to choke to death right in

front of

me.

> While all this is going on who should I hear coming up the hall but my sister.

I heard

her telling someone " and this used to be my dad's room " . Here I am trying to

get my mom

to breath, to open her mouth, to do something and my sister strolls in with her

friend and

says " Hi Gourete " like everything was just fine and we were the best of friends!

Is she

kidding me????? I guess she finally caught on that mom was not OK, asked out

loud if

mom was OK and immediately turned her back on us and went digging through her

purse

- talk about turning a blind eye to the truth. Mom's caregiver and I finally

got mom to

breath by lifting her sore arm - yes, I know this was somewhat cruel but we were

desperate. My heart was thumping like crazy at this point and I was

enraged!!!!! After a

minute or two I saw that mom's caregiver had the situation under control and I

quickly

picked up my purse, nodded my goodbye to the caregiver, gave my mom a kiss and

left. It

was this or just explode!!!!!!!! I was so angry that I hardly remember the walk

home.

> The last few times that I've visited with mom in the morning she has cried.

Yes, I have

tried to do as Donna suggested and thought that perhaps she is happy that I'm

there but

its hard to continue to think this way. I walked in her room one morning and

mom was a

white as her sheets, her mouth was wide open and slack and her breathing was so

shallow

it was almost undetectable. I had to keep shaking her before she slowly came to

- I have

never had to do this before. A side effect of this med is low BP and I wish I

had a BP cuff at

that moment. Before, no matter how hard she was sleeping you just had to tap her

and

she would open her eyes. Now, even if you lift up her eyelids she can't keep

her eyes open

and her pupils are still as small as pinholes.

> You know, I can take what my sister has done/said to me but what I can't

forgive is what

she is doing to my mom. You have to be blind not to see that mom has declined

even

further on this new pain med. My brother said that this stronger med was a good

thing as

mom would be high and happy......I wish he could be bothered to come around to

see just

how HAPPY his mother really is!!!!!

> Gosh, I am so angry right now!!!!!!

> Courage

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