Re: one reason why i love imogene Re:, Saying NO

[Guest guest]

Dear Emma,

It is difficult to teach yourself to say " No, " but once you start you will

be so proud of yourself. " Hey, I did that, and it worked! " But, since

caregivers are such nice people we will always be nice, and never rude.

We have to know ourselves. Know our limits, and stop trying to exceed them

by doing everything we " think " is required of us.

You can learn the trick. Don't make the " No " with many excuses. Just one

short answer, with no explaining. That is the trick. You can do it. It just

takes a little

gumption the first few times, and then you find it becomes much easier. " I'm

sorry I can't. " " Why not? " " I my plate is full, " or, " I know my

limitations, and this is more than I can handle. " Do not let them argue with

you. Just

repeat the one sentence you have picked out that is you, not necessarily what

I say.

Love a bunch,

Imogene

Caregiver for my true Texas Gentleman Husband of 37 years. First diagnosed

with Alzheimer's by a Neurologist OCT, 2005. But, on May 2, 2006 Dr.

Schillerstrom, Geriatric/Psychiatrist diagnosed LBD with Parkinsonism.

My precious husband, Don, is taking Zoloft and Razadyne.

A happy personality is contagious. Infect someone today.

In a message dated 12/26/2007 7:43:13 AM Central Standard Time,

emsyfay@... writes:

Imogene,

I wish I could learn that trick of saying no!! Its something I've struggled

with since I was a

young child, along with a natural tendency toward caregiving at my own

expense (my

parents often got the report that I was not getting my work done because I

was helping

everyone else do theirs!). Even though I've been aware of this " No

disability " as I call it

since I was a teenager I still haven't even made a small step toward

mastering it. I always

have the fear that if I don't do it (whatever 'it " is) than either it won't

get done or it

CERTAINLY won't get done right so I just have to be the one. I'll have to

try your idea of

starting to apply it in a nice way...

We'll see ;-)

Emma

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