(act books) on social anxiety

[Guest guest]

If there's one slogan that summarizes

my upbringing, it was: « What will other people think of THAT? », whenever I did something that my parents didn't

approve of.

Not surprizingly, social anxiety is a

loyal passenger in my bus...

And one which I really want to get

along with, better.

So I try and observe what role it plays

in my life.

When I'm afraid of the reactions of

others that « prove » to me that I am ridiculous, stupid,

a pain..., I find that I'm fused with similar

judgements myself (I say to myself things like « I am

ridiculous, stupid, a pain »).

I really wonder if there are people

around who don't have some form of social anxiety. We are so

dependent on others for our survival and our wellbeing...

At times I give myself as task to get a

sense, or idea, of the social anxiety that may be there, behind a

mask of the clown, the performer, the bullier, the slick speaker, the party-goer...

What's nice about this is that it helps me to be less hooked to

judgements about people who hide their social anxiety behind a mask I

don't like (slick speakers especially get easily under my skin).

And when I imagine how (almost)

universal social anxiety seems to be, this reminds me that « getting

rid of it » would be beyond me, and also something not so

necessary.

Defusion from my judgements towards

myself and others, that seems a more interesting job, to the extent

that this helps me drive my bus.

Oh, and what I find that the

« feeling » of shame , of the blushing kind, when

I'm not so much fused with my thoughts, can indeed have something

sweet... And did you notice that, when somebody blushes, bystanders

often find this sweet, too? Or « disarmingly charming »,

as they would say in France.

A good ride for 2011,

Maarten>> J, Thankyou for your reply,> Yes it was Dr Todd Snyders website and I too couldn't read through the whole > lot. I was abit dubeous too for the reasons you have stated- ie retarining your > brain so I thought I would check. Thankyou also for the link for the list of > books, I am currently working trough the Happyness Trap (steadily since March > this year) and then I've got The Confidence Gap to start after that. However I > was just looking for something specific to Social Anxiety that was A.C.T > consistent. I've been putting defusion and expansion to use for the social > anxiety and it is helping slightly so im hoping that once i've got connection > under my belt things will improve further. I don't expect the feelings to go > away- it's how i am-I would just like them not to rule my life anymore. Have you > had any experience of this? I ask because I have put alot of time into other > therapies such as C.B.T , T.A, D.B.T and various self help books, and I still > have the same old problem, just hoping it won't be the sam with A.C.T.> > Many Thanks,> = )